No one has been more controversial this past week than Bob Costas. Who knew such a small man could cause so much controversy. For those living in bubble, let’s recap: Over the weekend, the sports world was rocked with a horrible tragedy: Chiefs linebacker Jovan Belcher shot and killed his girlfriend, and then headed to Arrowhead where he shot and killed himself. The story gets even sadder, knowing that he left a 3 month old daughter behind and that his coaches were there when he shot himself.
That should be the story: a horrible family tragedy that unfortunately unfolded in the public eye. But no, apparently the story’s not sensational enough for the media. Cue Mighty Mouse.
While the Machine was (re)checking its fantasy scores Sunday night (don’t worry, we made the playoffs) we listened to Costas deliver his halftime monologue. And what we heard shocked us.
Instead of respectfully commentating on the tragedy, maybe advocating for more counseling and related services for players, Costas took a sharp left (pun intended) and felt it appropriate to go on a gun control rant.
Quoting Jason Whitlock, who really should share this Tuesday Teabag, Costas proclaimed: “In the coming days, Jovan Belcher’s actions and their possible connection to football will be analyzed. Who knows? But here…is what I believe. If Jovan Belcher didn’t possess a gun, he and Kasandra Perkins would both be alive today.” This is absurd and infuriating for several reasons.
First, let’s stop saying that crimes are committed because of accessibility to guns. Banning guns won’t stop people from using them. Drugs are illegal, but the last time we checked, by our unscientific method of attending a Dave Mathews Band concert, a lot of people smoke weed. Legal or not, if someone wants to get a gun, just like if someone wants a blunt, they’ll find it.
Second, saying they’d both be alive if Jovan didn’t have a gun is sensationalism at its best. You have no fucking clue what would happen. OJ (or the real killer) didn’t have a gun. The rush to blame everything except the actions of people says a lot about our society. It’s not McDonald’s fault you’re fat…it’s your inability to lay off the fucking McNuggets and Mountain Dew.
Perhaps most infuriating is the blatant violation the “Know your role” rule. Do you get financial advice from your garbage man? How about culinary tips from your accountant? Ever watch the weather for home improvement tips? Of course not. The Machine would have less of a problem if Chris Mathews got on a gun control soapbox on Hardball. That’s his job, he knows his role, and that’s what really puts Costas in The Machine’s crosshairs. You’re an elf-like man that appears on Sundays for football and every two years for the Olympics. You’re pretty much a Gremlin (note: do not feed Costas after midnight), but you’re a sports Gremlin. Don’t think you’re anything more than that (ask Keith Olberman). Politics shouldn’t find its way into halftime. Don’t push the leftist media agenda when all we want are highlights from the Jets game.
Your ceiling, while actually shorter than most because you live in a dollhouse, is sitting fireside interviewing the gold medalist in the Women’s Freestyle. Know. Your. Role.
Enjoy your teabag.

