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FINAL Mock Draft (Roid Rage)
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BRSM’s Draft Day Drinking Game
Can’t make it to The Machine’s Draft Day Party? Well, that sucks for you. But have no fear…we got your back. “How can I make the Draft better?”, you ask yourself in amazement. By playing The Big Red Sports Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game. It’s fun, it’s easy, guaranteed to impress the ladies, and you can play at home or at your favorite watering hole. Here are the rules:
1. Draft catchphrases. There are certain phrases you only hear during the Draft. Why? We don’t know, but we love them. For this reason alone, we give ESPN the slight lean over the NFL Network for your Draft Day coverage. That, and, Kiper. Duh, winning!
The following phrases are worth a shot of beer:
- Raw talent
- Off-the-field/Character issues
- Live arm
- High motor
- Straight line speed
- Great Value/Upside
- Dual threat
- System quarterback
- Pocket presence
- Best player available
- Intangibles or Measurables
- War Room
- New Regime
- Edge Rusher
- Gets to the Second Level
- Quick feet
- Plays in Space
- Silky hips
- Thick frame
- Plays in the box (hey oh!)
- Backside protector (hey oh!)
- Generational talent
- Hybrid
2. Videos/references. Each of these are beer-finishing worthy:
- Reference to Mel’s hair
- Video of Goodell’s basement
- Player with matching suit and mask
- First shot of Drew Rosenhaus in his newest client’s living room
- First player to cry when their name is called
- Reference to when Tom Brady was drafted (we’ll also accept Brady’s Combine picture)
- Reference to Aaron Rodgers draft day slide
- Video of Bill Tobin’s infamous “who the hell is Mel Kiper?” interview during the ’94 Draft
- And this:
3. On the Clock Chug. When your team is on the clock, you have to finish a full beer before the pick is called (shot of Jim Beam also acceptable). Note: if your team trades down, they’re on the clock twice, meaning two full beers. Cowboy up, it’s the Draft!
Basically, if it doesn’t look like this, you’re doing it wrong.
Or this:
Mock Draft 2.0 (Roid Rage)
Yes, only Version 2.0…we’re only 5+ hours from the draft, plenty of time for last-minute adjustments and/or inflammatory social media posts/pictures aimed at dropping prospect grades. So, for now…
I guess we’ll hold serve with Walker, the betting favorite, to be selected by the Jags. The Texans draft protection for Davis Mills and whomever the selected #1 in next years draft. I can’t buy the Thibodeaux slide. He’s a solid player/prospect at a premium position and fills an enormous need for Gang Green. I think the Panthers would love to trade down a few spots, grab a second round pick (they don’t have a second or third round pick this year…. there’s a reason bad teams stay bad) and still pick one of the QBs. If they thought Mayfield or Jimmy-G were an upgrade to Darnold they’d already have made the move. They should be able to find an upgrade to OL on Day 3 (but there definitely isn’t a plug and play QB available that late). Derrick Stingley is my top corner and I’m sticking to it!
Really wasn’t expecting a Charles Cross slide, as I think he could could make a ton of sense for the Giant or Panthers, but that’s just how the board fell. Saints get a gift.
There are a ton of quality WR’s in this draft. Given the market recent that occurred this offseason, it makes sense to get cost controlled help at the position. Dallas quietly has a ton of needs (OL, DL, WR)…gotta love watching Jerry drive that franchise into the ground. Crash and burn.
The Bills prepare for life after Jordan Poyer (and Rachel Bush!). I don’t buy the Breece Hall love. Cine will player a joker role on defense this year, while taking a starting safety job in 2023.
This entire draft will be wild, but picks 24-32 will be all over the place. The Lions take advantage of the 5th year option and potential draft the best QB in this class. Low risk, high reward at pick 32.
Mock Draft 3.0 (Ginger King)
Happy Draft Eve! We’re almost there friends! One day away from injecting pure optimism into your fanbase, unless you’re a Browns fan. I probably have another mock (or two) in me before the show begins, so let’s get right to it.
There’s a huge movement for Travon Walker going #1 to the Jags. He’s now the betting favorite to go first overall, which is wild to think of, as this has been a two man race for sometime. I think that speaks more to the fact that there is no clear cut Alpha dog, but rather a solid group of really good players that are close in range and ability. I can easily make a case for 5 people to be the first pick, which I don’t think I’ve ever been able to say before. I can’t see Malik Willis making it past Carolina…and no, I’m not buying the Baker Mayfield rumors. No team is going to trade a meaningful draft pick for him, they’ll just wait until Cleveland releases him.
One thing I am buying: the Kayvon slide. Once thought of as the top pick in the draft, teams are reportedly turned off by his personality and are questioning his commitment to the game. With a fanbase made up of mostly people from Long Island, the Jets care very little about personality. Another thing I’m buying: the Jermaine Johnson rise. Don’t be surprised if he gets drafted ahead of Kayvon.
The first half of the draft will be dominated by the line, both offensive and defensive. The second half will see a run on complimentary pieces; namely corners and receivers. There are two things I know for sure: 1. Never eat at restaurant that serves ranch with chicken wings. 2. The Green Bay Packers will select a receiver. Jameson Williams is one of the hardest people to place in the draft, based on his recent injury (same for Ojabo, too). If some team’s medical staff gives him the all clear, he could go as high as 8.
Here me out, Buffalo. I know you want a receiver or corner, but at this point Burks, Williams, Booth, and McDuffie are gone, and you don’t want to reach. Instead, what you do is re-watch the National Championship game and look for the baddest man on the field. That would be Nakobe Dean. He’s instantly Von Miller’s understudy, and the 1-2-3 punch of Von Miller, Tremaine Edmunds, and Nakobe Dean is scary. It makes all the sense in the world for Detroit to go qb at 32 (as opposed to two picks later at 34 in the second round), as they can lock in the team-controlled 5th year option.
Stay tuned tomorrow folks for my final mock, plus our Draft Day Drinking Game. Cheers!
Mock Draft – Final (Roid Rage)
Cleveland rocks!……………….
Four QB’s in the Top-10 (with Mac Jones slipping in the draft – someone will!). Value meets (desperate) need as the Cowboys take 3 second to phone in their pick. I’ve had Big Blue taking Waddle and Slater, but both were off the board, so they grab an Edge defender.
I love the player-team pairings for picks 13-17. Washington is a sneaky team to trade into the Top-10 for a QB. The cupboard is awfully bare after AJ Brown, Moore gives the Titans offense some juice.
While the Steelers will be tempted with Najee Harris staring them in the face, their offensive line is a wreak, they need to walk away with two OL starters this weekend. Hard to believe the Ravens don’t burn one of their first round picks on a WR, but there are plenty of Day 2 options available for them; Greg Newsome this late was too hard to pass up. Welp, I was going to give Aaron Rodgers a new toy, but Draft Day rumors have it that A-Rod might not be long for GB. Get your popcorn ready, indeed! Well Bills Mafia, I gave us an edge rusher. Oweh can play in sub-packages this year and (hopefully) put some pressure on the QB, and who knows, maybe even get a sack! The plan would be to develop him into a starter for next year when Jerry Hughes and Mario Addison hit free agency.
Mock Draft – FINAL (Ginger King)
It’s that time, folks. All of our weekends drinking beer and watching tape hard work gets put to the test. The Draft is here [cue: music]! Cleveland, get ready to rock! Our final mock has some surprises for you. Let’s get to it.
After the Top 2, it’s anyone’s guess. If you’re a Niners fan, start drinking now. I think they’ll come to their sense and go with Lance (and if so, the Mac Jones slide begins). If I’m a Bengals fan (or Joe Burrow’s knee) I’m really hoping they come to their senses and draft Penei Sewell. That’s the smart choice…but Ja’Marr Chase may be too tempting to pass up. Plus, there is a lot of OL depth, so it’s not completely unreasonable to take the consensus #1 receiver and then shore up the line in Round 2, say someone like Teven Jenkins or Wyatt Davis. Also, I think Detroit ends up with Parsons, and they’d love to be able to trade back a few spots and get him.
Denver misses out on Trey Lance, but end up with the Surtain, rookie DPY. Jerry Jones misses out on Surtain, but Horn is not a bad consolation prize. The Giants push all their chips in on Danny Dimes. I think their first two picks will be offense, with OL in the 2nd (wait, is it a good thing to mimic the Bengals???). Philly better order a truck load of Muscle Milk and peanut butter for Devonta Smith. I’ve had Kwity Paye as the first Edge off the board in all my prior mocks, but I think Jaelan Phillips has a shot to take the prize. Another flyer up the draft boards (and on the field) is Zaven Collins. Put him on the defense with JJ Watt and Malcolm Butler, and you have speed and power at all three levels.
The Mac Jones slide ends. Riverboat Ron takes another gamble. At least Mac will get to learn from Fitzpatrick (did you know he want to Harvard)? I actually can’t find fault with any of these picks. Each fill a gaping hole.
Lots of talk of Caleb Farley falling out of the first round…but I think he still goes. His floor should be the Saints. Baltimore needs to land a OL, and if Darrishaw is still there they are running to the podium. Buffalo’s offense will go high octane with Etienne in the backfield.
Follow us on Twitter as we live tweet the shit out of the Draft. Cheers!
Mock Draft 3.0 (Ginger King)
Happy Draft Eve! The mocks will start flying, as the smokescreens start to settle, and teams set in to the war room. Let’s get right to action.
Reports are the Niners are unsure what quarterback to draft, but I’m not buying it. They made this boneheaded, not well thought out, multi-year organizational setback franchise altering trade with one person in mind…and their institutional arrogance will keep them drafting Mac Jones. Pitts to the Falcons makes sense, especially with Julio rumors abound, but I disagree. Taking a TE at #4 is too high. Period. [sidebar: name me the top 3 tight ends in the NFL right now, and tell me where they were drafted] (spoiler alert: not in the first round). [second sidebar: name me the top 3 tight ends of all-time, and tell me where they were drafted] (spoiler alert: not in the top 10). Even with the more modern trend of tight ends as receivers, the positional value is just not there at #4.
Roid Rage is right on when he notes qb-needy teams will need to leap frog Denver, which makes the Lions at 7 (and Panthers at 8) prime candidates to trade down.
The Broncos will end up with a quarterback, and they’re hoping they can stay at 9 to get one. If Rashawn Slater’s on the board, he’s an absolute must for the Giants. Reports are that David Gettleman is in love with Devonta Smith, but 166 pounds??? He should’ve put some rocks in his shoes at his weigh in. I’ve been hearing a lot of chatter on Jaycee Horn rising up. Could be in play for any of the NFC East teams from 10-12.
Edge rushers are kind of flying under the radar, but I think they have a chance to be the most impact-ready position in the Draft. The more tape I watch of Jaelan Phillips, the more I like. The Jets may be tempted to double up on offense in the first round…but new Head Coach Robert Saleh comes from the defensive side of the ball…and needs to build a complete team.
Baltimore got completely fleeced pulled off a trade with Kansas City, and is now in the market for an offensive lineman. If you’re a Chiefs fan, you got to love this trade. Sure, you don’t have a first round pick, but you now have Orlando Brown, a proven pro-bowler, who instantly steps in at Left Tackle. Plus, he’s only 24. Elsewhere, Roid Rage is close to drafting Travis Etienne to the Bills, but I’m already sold. I’m telling you. Etienne is Dalvin Cook 2.0. Book it.
Mock Draft 3.0 (Roid Rage)
It’s mock draft Monday! And not just any Monday, Draft Week Monday! The Ravens now hold two first round picks after their trade with the Chiefs. Speaking of trades, pick No. 7 is an ideal spot for a team looking to trade up to grab the fourth QB off the board. Even though the Falcons would love to move back and draft defenders, teams know the Bengals and Dolphins are no threat to draft a quarterback, so a jump to 7 (in front the Broncos) is the play. Of course, the Broncos know this too, and they haven’t exactly been quiet in their pursuit of a QB this offseason. So I’ve got the Broncos and Lions swapping picks. With that, here is my final mock draft before my final mock draft…..
I think we’ll get a little clarity (like an hour before the draft) on the Niners preference. There is so much smoke, I just can’t buy the Mac Jones hype. Missing out on Chase & Pitts can’t be what the Dolphins envisioned when they moved back up to 6 (moving down was great; but blindly moving back to 6 was dumb). At least they snag a familar playmaker for Tua.
If Gettlemen trades back I’ll drink Ginger Kings beamers the rest of the night! Not. Going. To. Happen. Slater is versatile enough to play multiple positions along the line. I think the range for Devonta Smith is 12 – 16, which is ironically exactly the range of weight he needs to gain to survive in the league. I’m really liking the Vikings-Phillips pairing.
I know I said it in my previous mock, but JOK & Zaven Collins are really fun linebackers to watch as they fly around, cover, and blitz. Modern day LBs. Parsons, whom is a no question top-10 talent, stumbles due to off the field concerns and questions around his work ethic. I’m sold on the Steelers taking OL and this pick could have easily been Dickerson’s line mate, Alex Leatherwood.
GB please please please draft Elijah Moore! I’m really close to mocking Travis Etienne to the Bills. Both of these guys would add some serious juice to those offense and make them even more of a nightmare to defend. But the Bills really need someone that can create pressure (didn’t say sacks) off the edge. Oweh has all the physical tools. Joe Tryon is a first round pick.
Mock Draft 2.0 (Roid Rage)
We are officially single digit days until the draft! I lost count with how many variations I mocked with Mock Draft Simulator, but I really liked how this 2.0 version is shaping up. I’m close to locking in the top-10 and the second half of the first round is coming into more clarity….
The only change from my first mock in the top-8 is the Lions grabbing Surtain in lieu of Parsons. Part of me feels like Dan Campbell is going to pound the table to draft only linemen and linebackers, but grabbing the last blue-chip prospect on the board is the smart play. I’m not sure why the Dolphins were so eager to jump back into the top-10 pre-draft, but there must be someone they’ve got their eye on and Chase is a bonafide WR1.
I can’t get off Big Blue adding Waddle to that offense. Golladay, Shepard, Engram, Waddle and Barkley. Danny Dimes or bust! Feels like Parsons could slip a bit due to being a scumbag off the field, but likely gets scooped up by one of the teams picking 14-16. This is also the range I have Mac Jones (he made it!) and Devonta Smith slipping too. Dude, Devonta can be both tough as nails and tiny. This ain’t the SEC folks, you want to spend a premium pick to bet that a 170-lbs WR holds up in the NFL?! Be my guest.
The Raiders and Redskins (sue me) both desperately need linebackers; Koramoah and Collins are ballers. These two LBs push for DROY in my book. I’m off the Bears taking a WR, the need at CB is greater and Newsome has the makings of a great boundary corner. The Colts go back to the Notre Dame well of offensive linemen as it worked out for them last time.
Barmore and the Jags makes too much sense. Someone is going to medically clear Farley, and if they are patient and let him heal they’ll have a hell of a corner on their hands. The Ravens, Saints and Packers all inject some much needed life into their receiving corps. The Bills have an edge rusher fall into their lap (actually have their pick between Ojulari and Rousseau. The Georgia Bulldog is a bit more polished). The Chiefs draft board consists of only Offensive Tackles.
Mock Draft 1.0 (Roid Rage)
Late to the game?! More like now the party can start! Question: How are all your pre-free agency mock drafts looking now? Answer: Hot garbage. Ginger King already covered why we hold back the urge to post mocks until after the first few waves of free agency. Not only that, scouting is more of a bitch than ever this year…no combine, skewed pro day results…thanks COVID! Anyways, after you’ve taken a peak at the wreckage below make sure to check out NFLMockDraftDatabase to craft your own mock. Onward….
I just can’t see 5 QB’s going in the Top 10 this year, somebody inevitably takes the Aaron Rodgers – Lamar Jackson tumble and my money is overwhelmingly unspectacular Mac Jones (and spoiler alert he isn’t even in the first round of my mock! That kind of feels like a mistake, as he’ll probably get scooped up later in the first, but I’m not projecting trades here).
The one reason I keep coming back to Justin Fields to the Niners: he’s really fucking good. Like, the Jets should take him at #2 good. Kyle Pitts is a mismatch nightmare and in play anywhere from 4-10. The Dolphins are quietly building a powerhouse (I just threw up a bit in my mouth), but it’s all for naught if Tua busts.
Feels like the Raiders backed themselves into a corner and have to rebuild the OL in this draft. Two of my personal favorite fits are Bateman to the Bears and Cosmi to the Colts. Nice alliterations too! Washington not selecting a team name is such a Dan Synder move; self-entitled whinny bitch!
A worse-case scenario for the Bills, as the top Edge rushers get snatched up before their pick. Dickerson is solid C/G depth and the not too distant replacement for Mitch Morse.
And with that Mock 1.0 is in the books! Check back often as the Machine is just getting started!