The Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game (2017 ed.)

Cheers!Can’t make it to The Machine’s Draft Day Party?  Well, that sucks for you.  But have no fear…we got your back.  “How can I make the Draft better?”, you ask yourself in amazement.  By playing The Big Red Sports Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game.  It’s fun, it’s easy, guaranteed to impress the ladies, and you can play at home or at your favorite watering hole.  Here are the rules:

1.  Draft catchphrases.  There are certain phrases you only hear during the Draft.  Why?  We don’t know, but we love them.  For this reason alone, we give ESPN the slight lean over the NFL Network for your draft day coverage.  That, and, Kiper.  Duh, winning!

The following phrases are worth a shot of beer:

  • Raw talent
  • Off-the-field or character issues
  • Live arm
  • High motor
  • Straight line speed
  • Great Value
  • Upside
  • Best player available
  • Intangibles or Measurables
  • Trade Down
  • War Room
  • New Regime
  • Read-Option
  • Edge Rusher
  • Gets to the Second Level
  • Quick feet
  • Plays in Space
  • Advanced Stats

New for 2017:

  • Dual threat
  • System quarterback
  • Pocket presence
  • Plays in the box (hey oh!)

2.  Videos/references.  Each of these are beer-finishing worthy:

  • Reference to Mel’s hair
  • Player on-stage photo-op with family/entourage of 15+
  • Reference to Cleveland Browns front office ineptitude
  • First shot of Drew Rosenhaus in his newest client’s living room
  • First player to cry when their name is called
  • Reference to when Tom Brady was drafted (we’ll also accept Brady’s Combine picture)
  • Reference to Aaron Rodgers draft day slide
  • Video of Brady Quinn in the green room
  • Video of Bill Tobin’s infamous “who the hell is Mel Kiper?” interview during the ’94 Draft
  • And this:

3.  On the Clock Chug.  When your team is on the clock, you have to finish a full beer before the pick is called.  Note:  if your team trades down, they’re on the clock twice, meaning that’s two full beers.  Cowboy up, it’s the Draft!

Basically, if it doesn’t look like this than you’re probably doing it wrong…..

Beer Chug

Or this:

Beer Chug 2

FINAL* MOCK DRAFT (ROID RAGE)

Lock-n-load!

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 Cleveland Browns Myles Garrett (Texas A&M) DE
2 San Francisco Jamal Adams (LSU) S
3 Chicago Bears Solomon Thomas (Stanford) DE
4 Jacksonville Jaguars Leonard Fournette (LSU) RB
5 Tennessee Titans Mitchell Trubisky (UNC) QB
6 NY Jets Marshon Lattimore (OSU) CB
7 Los Angeles Chargers O.J. Howard (Alabama) TE
8 Carolina Panthers Christian McCaffrey (Stanford) RB
9 Cincinnati Bengals Jonathon Allen (Alabama) DE
10 Buffalo Bills Haason Reddick (Temple) LB
11 New Orleans Saints Reuben Foster (Alabama) LB
12 Cleveland Browns Derek Barnett (Tennessee) DE
13 Arizona Cardinals Mike Williams (Clemson) WR
14 Philadelphia Eagles Marlon Humphrey (Alabama) CB
15 Indianapolis Colts Charles Harris (Missouri) DE
16 Baltimore Ravens Corey Davis (Western Michigan) WR
17 Washington Redskins John Ross (Washington) WR
18 Tennessee Titans Malik Hooker (OSU) S
19 Tampa Bay Bucs Dalvin Cook (FSU) RB
20 Denver Broncos Garett Bolles (Utah) OL
21 Detroit Lions Tre’Davious White (LSU) CB
22 Miami Dolphins Jarad Davis (Florida) LB
23 New York Giants Cam Robinson (Alabama) OL
24 Oakland Raiders Kevin King (Washington) CB
25 Houston Texans Deshaun Watson (Clemson) QB
26 Seattle Seahawks Ryan Ramcyk (Wisconsin) OL
27 Kansas City Chiefs Forrest Lamp (W. Kentucky) OL
28 Dallas Cowboys Takkarist McKinley (UCLA) DE
29 Green Bay Packers Joe Mixon (Oklahoma) RB
30 Pittsburgh Steelers TJ Watt (Wisconsin) LB
31 Atlanta Falcons Taco Charlton (Michigan) DE
32 New Orleans Saints Malik McDowell (Mich St.) DT

*As of 5 PM reports have it that the Browns will select Myles Garrett No. 1 overall. While I don’t think the Titans will select Trubisky, it is the ideal spot for a team that wants to trade up for him (I don’t think that team will be the Browns).

Instant Analysis:  The hardest thing in sports isn’t hitting a fastball, it’s predicting the NFL Draft!  See that, it’s April and I’m already slipping in the baseball references…..Speaking of baseball, let’s not forget, the guys calling the shots for the Browns are moneyball guys, whom report to a truck-stop guy that specializes in corruption, fraud, any bribery.   So, do I have faith they will get this pick/draft right?!

Okay, so the baseball equivalent of a quarterback is like your entire pitching rotation…and maybe even your closer and No. 3 and 4 hitters!  You have to have one to win….you have to have one to even compete.  The better your quarterback, the better your chance of winning.  Now, we don’t know how Mitch Trubisky’s game will translate to the NFL…nobody does… but the Browns don’t need him to be an All-Pro to justify this pick.  If he can be a top-15 quarterback, that’s a HELL of a lot better than anything on their current roster (a statement that has been true for the last 15 years or so).  If you can get “Alex Smith type” production from him, with upside for more, than you have to take him first overall.  At that level, his WAR will be significantly higher than anything Myles Garett can provide you.

I also don’t think they want to use all the ammo they’ve painstakingly collected, just to blow it by trading back up into the Top 5.  They can still land an impactful type player at No. 12 and build their roster through the rest of the draft.

I think San Francisco goes one of three ways….(note: don’t google “San Francisco three-way”)…Trubisky, Thomas or Adams.  And I’m not buying into the “John Lynch was a safety” narrative; but I believe Adams has the goods on and off the field.  He is a dynamic safety and has team-captain written all over him.

The Bears would love to add to their secondary, but Garrett falls into their lap in this scenario.  This draft is LOADED with Corners and Safety’s, so they can snag one in Round 2.

The Bills would be thrilled to add a versatile linebacker to lead Sean McDermott’s defense, they’ve got their pick between Reddick and Foster.  A corner is in play, but similar to the Bears, they can land one later in the draft.

Marlon Humphrey hasn’t been talked about much in the Mock Draft community.  He is a very good all around corner that will go higher than most people are expecting.

It’ll be fun to see how disastrous the Redskins draft is.  Without a GM, who is calling the shots?  Bruce Allen? Dan Synder?  Goooooood luck with that.

Similar to Ginger King, I’ve given Big Blue an offensive linemen.  In this case, they land the best mauler in the draft.

DeShaun Watson could go second overall or slip to the second round.  I don’t love his game, but I’ve mocked him to Houston, who like Cleveland, is desperate for a QB.

In the bizarre world that we live in, Joe Mixon, who knocked some girls lights out, gets drafted in the first round, while Gareon Conley, who faces borderline ludicrous allegations (multiple witnesses corroborate his side of the story) slips out of the first.  He could land in the bottom of Round 2 or even Round 3.  It’ll probably cost him $5+ million.  I mean, if he’s guilty forget everything I just said and lock him up (right next to Hillary)!

Check back in for the Annual Big Red Sports Machine NFL Draft Drinking Game and post-draft analysis!

Kevin Costner, you’re on the clock!

FINAL MOCK DRAFT (GINGER KING)

Here.  We.  Go.

The final mock.  After weeks (ok months) of “research” (defined to include watching an endless supply of college game tape with fistfuls of chicken wings and buckets of Coors Light) it’s time to put our “knowledge” to work.  So many questions heading into the Draft, so many rumors flying around; it’s hard to decipher what’s legit and what’s bullshit.  But that’s why we’re here.

The question on everyone’s mind:  Will Ginger King and Roid Rage continue their streak of more correct First Round picks than Kiper and McShay?  Ginger please, we got this locked down.  Anyway, on to the final mock.

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 Cleveland Browns Myles Garrett (Texas A&M) DE
2 San Francisco Solomon Thomas (Stanford) DE
3 Chicago Bears Jamal Adams (LSU) S
4 Jacksonville Jaguars Leonard Fournette (LSU) RB

Leonard has “Tom Coughlin guy” written all over him.

5 Tennessee Titans O.J. Howard (Alabama) TE
6 NY Jets Jonathon Allen (Alabama) DE
7 Los Angeles Chargers Mike Williams (Clemson) WR
8 Carolina Panthers Christian McCaffrey (Stanford) RB
9 Cincinnati Bengals Derek Barnett (Tennessee) DE
10 Buffalo Bills Marshon Lattimore (OSU) CB
11 New Orleans Saints Taco Charlton (Michigan) DE
12 Cleveland Browns Mitchell Trubisky (UNC) QB

[looks in mirror]
Cleveland is where I want to be.
Cleveland is where I want to be.
Cleveland is where I want to be.

13 Arizona Cardinals Patrick Mahomes (Texas Tech) QB
14 Philadelphia Eagles Gareon Conley (OSU) CB
15 Indianapolis Colts Malik Hooker (OSU) S
16 Baltimore Ravens Corey Davis (Western Michigan) WR
17 Washington Redskins Reuben Foster (Alabama) LB
18 Tennessee Titans Haasan Reddick (Temple) LB
19 Tampa Bay Bucs Dalvin Cook (FSU) RB
20 Denver Broncos Ryan Ramcyk (Wisconsin) OL
21 Detroit Lions David Njoku (Miami) TE
22 Miami Dolphins Zach Cunningham (Vanderbilt) LB
23 New York Giants Garett Bolles (Utah) OL

Big Blue Mauler.

24 Oakland Raiders Jarad Davis (Florida) LB
25 Houston Texans Cam Robinson (Alabama) OL
26 Seattle Seahawks Kevin King (Washington) CB
27 Kansas City Chiefs Marlon Humphrey (Alabama) CB
28 Dallas Cowboys Adoree Jackson (USC) CB
29 Green Bay Packers TJ Watt (Wisconsin) LB
30 Pittsburgh Steelers Jabrill Peppers (Michigan) S
31 Atlanta Falcons Charles Harris (Missouri) LB
32 New Orleans Saints John Ross (Washington) WR

Instant Analysis:  Obviously, this is not how the First Round will shake out, as trades will throw everything off…and we think there will be a lot of trades.  Potentially starting at #2 with the Niners.  I also think another team looking to trade down is Tennessee at 5.  I think there’s no way the Browns come out of the First Round without Myles Garrett and Mitchell Trubisky.  I think the Browns will take Myles at #1, and then find a way to climb back into the Top 10.  Perfect trade would be with the Titans.  Keep your eye on that.

Another trading spot will be the end of the First Round.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see a team at the top of Round 2 (say, Chicago or Cleveland if they somehow managed to screw up and not get Trubisky) trade into the bottom of the First Round to grab a quarterback.  But why would they do that?  Simple.  All draft picks are required to sign a 4 year contract…but only First Round picks have a team option for a fifth year.  If you feel that there’s a player out there (usually a qb) that you’re in love with, it’s better to draft them in the bottom of the first than the top of the second.  If you’re right (and let’s be honest, all GMs think they’re right), you get them for an extra year at a good price.  If you’re wrong, well then you won’t be around to not exercise the option.  Win-win.

Elsewhere, I’ve had Njoku to the Giants forever, and for my own selfish reasons I hope he ends up there.  But the Giants have a terrible time keeping their picks a secret.  There’s either a front office leak, or someone like to hit the “reply all” button on emails, but there have been multiple drafts where teams have traded up ahead of the Giants to draft the player they really want.  In 2012, the Bucs traded up to get Doug Martin.  Last year, the Titans and the Bears traded up to get ahead of the Giants to draft Jack Conklin and Leonard Floyd, respectively, the Giant’s top 2 coveted players.  This year, I think the G-Men are in love with Njoku and (dark horse) Zach Cunningham.  I know they haven’t drafted a first round linebacker in 30+ years but that doesn’t mean they haven’t tried (see Floyd, Leonard).  I think they lose out on both of them this year and “settle” for Bolles, which isn’t much of a settle, seeing as how he would immediately compete for the left tackle position.

Big question is how much will “character concerns” affect draft status?  There are a handful of first round talent players – Jabrill Peppers, Reuben Foster, Gareon Conley, Joe Mixon, etc.  I still think that Mixon doesn’t get drafted tonight, because…um, that video.  But the others?  I don’t think it affects them that much.  That reminds me:  Hey rookies, change your social media passwords today.  You don’t want this to appear around 7:45 pm tonight:

Still a first round pick.

Mock Draft 2.0 (Roid Rage)

Mock Draft Monday!

We are coming down the homestretch and the rumors are a swirling!  The latest, Mitchell Trubisky to the 49ers (nailed it)!

I could be falling for the Reuben Foster smokescreen (pun intended); I don’t worry too much about the failed drug test, or the meltdown he had at the combine, but his medicals are a bit concerning given his style of play.  He is an absolute missile on the field, so I believe he will still go early on Day 1 but Top-10 is probably too risky.

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 Cleveland Browns Myles Garrett (Texas A&M) DE
2 San Francisco Mitchell Trubisky (UNC) QB
3 Chicago Bears Solomon Thomas (Stanford) DE
4 Jacksonville Jaguars Leonard Fournette (LSU) RB
5 Tennessee Titans Mike Williams (Clemson) WR
6 NY Jets Jamal Adams (LSU) S
7 Los Angeles Chargers Malik Hooker (OSU) S
8 Carolina Panthers Christian McCaffrey (Stanford) RB
9 Cincinnati Bengals Derek Barnett (Tennessee) DE

Fournette to the Jags seems like a foregone conclusion.

10 Buffalo Bills O.J. Howard (Alabama) TE
11 New Orleans Saints Gareon Conley (OSU) CB
12 Cleveland Browns Garett Bolles (Utah) OL
13 Arizona Cardinals Patrick Mahomes (Texas Tech) QB
14 Philadelphia Eagles Haasan Reddick (Temple) DE
15 Indianapolis Colts Jonathon Allen (Alabama) DT
16 Baltimore Ravens Reuben Foster (Alabama) LB
17 Washington Redskins Taco Charlton (Michigan) OLB
18 Tennessee Titans Marshon Lattimore (OSU) CB
19 Tampa Bay Bucs Charles Harris (Missouri) LB
20 Denver Broncos Kevin King (Washington) CB
21 Detroit Lions Corey Davis (Western Michigan) WR
22 Miami Dolphins Jarad Davis (Florida) LB
23 New York Giants TJ Watt (Wisconsin) OLB
24 Oakland Raiders John Ross (Washington) WR
25 Houston Texans Zach Cunningham (Vanderbilt) LB

QBs are the wild card this year (just like every year!)

26 Seattle Seahawks Ryan Ramcyk (Wisconsin) OL
27 Kansas City Chiefs Deshaun Watson (Clemson) QB
28 Dallas Cowboys Obi Melifonwu (UConn) S/CB
29 Green Bay Packers Joe Mixon (Oklahoma) RB
30 Pittsburgh Steelers Forrest Lamp (W. Kentucky) OL
31 Atlanta Falcons Cam Robinson (Alabama) OL
32 New Orleans Saints Dalvin Cook (FSU) RB

Instant Analysis:  Ginger King lays out a compelling argument for why the G-men will draft Tight End David Njoku.  While that makes perfect sense, I still have Big Blue adding an Edge defender that can terrorize NFC East QBs for years to come.  The Giants will add a ho-hum TE later in the draft (whom will be a fantasy football asset playing with such an elite QB).

I’m having trouble finding a home for Dalvin Cook.  His college production was so good, yet his combine numbers were so pedestrian.  TB at 19 makes some sense, but I believe we’ll go late in Round 1, if not slip into the second Round.

The Raiders double down in true Al Davis fashion, first by moving the team and then by selecting the faster player in the Draft.  Injury history be damned!

Mock Draft 4.0 (Ginger King)

One week to go!  Big risers (Christian McCaffrey) and fallers (Reuben Foster) this week as the Draft starts to pan out a little.  This is about the time where teams use some serious misdirection and smokescreens.  If you’re hearing for the first time this week that Team X is in love with Y player, it’s probably not true.  Teams are always playing this game of inflating players, or critiquing players, in the hopes that the real player they want will fall to them.

Also, Roid Rage finally stopped watching April baseball (it doesn’t matter bruh, check back in 5 months) and posted his first mock.  He brought in some heavy hitters (pun intended) and bold moves.  Go check it out.  But first, check out what Ginger King has in store for you.

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 Cleveland Browns Myles Garrett (Texas A&M) DE
2 San Francisco Solomon Thomas (Stanford) DE
3 Chicago Bears Jamal Adams (LSU) S
4 Jacksonville Jaguars Leonard Fournette (LSU) RB
5 Tennessee Titans O.J. Howard (Alabama) TE
6 NY Jets Malik Hooker (OSU) S
7 Los Angeles Chargers Mike Williams (Clemson) WR
8 Carolina Panthers Christian McCaffrey (Stanford) RB
9 Cincinnati Bengals Jonathon Allen (Alabama) DE
10 Buffalo Bills Mitchell Trubisky (UNC) QB

Hey, it could be worse. You could be in Cleveland.

11 New Orleans Saints Derek Barnett (Tennessee) DE
12 Cleveland Browns Corey Davis (Western Michigan) WR
13 Arizona Cardinals John Ross (Washington) WR
14 Philadelphia Eagles Marshon Lattimore (OSU) CB
15 Indianapolis Colts Taco Charlton (Michigan) DE
16 Baltimore Ravens Marlon Humphrey (Alabama) CB
17 Washington Redskins Jabrill Peppers (Michigan) S
18 Tennessee Titans Gareon Conley (OSU) CB
19 Tampa Bay Bucs Dalvin Cook (FSU) RB
20 Denver Broncos Ryan Ramcyk (Wisconsin) OL
21 Detroit Lions Haasan Reddick (Temple) DE
22 Miami Dolphins Zach Cunningham (Vanderbilt) LB
23 New York Giants David Njoku (Miami) TE

A real dual threat athlete.

24 Oakland Raiders Caleb Brantley (Florida) DT
25 Houston Texans Patrick Mahomes (Texas Tech) QB
26 Seattle Seahawks Garett Bolles (Utah) OL
27 Kansas City Chiefs Tra’Davious White (LSU) CB
28 Dallas Cowboys Adoree Jackson (USC) CB
29 Green Bay Packers Jarad Davis (Florida) LB
30 Pittsburgh Steelers Reuben Foster (Alabama) LB
31 Atlanta Falcons Charles Harris (Missouri) LB
32 New Orleans Saints Cam Robinson (Alabama) OL

Instant Anlaysis:  The Browns don’t get so lucky this time…as Western New York’s America’s team, the Buffalo Bills, make a splash and get their (next) quarterback of the future (wait, isn’t Jim Kelly’s nephew in this Draft?)  Anyway, Mitchell to the Bills makes sense.  Tyrod’s essentially on a one year deal, and Mitchell really could use a year on the sidelines to learn the NFL way (he’s not a ready-made pro-product like Andrew Luck or Cam Newton).  Plus, Tyrod and Mitchell have similar playing-styles.  Mitchell is not a pure pocket passer…he ran for 5 tds last season and played mostly out of the shotgun.  Learning from Tyrod for a year is the smart and practical thing to do. [checks Bills coaching roster to make sure the Ryan brothers are not there].  This could totally happen.

Turning to the real New York team, I can’t really envision a scenario where they don’t pick Njoku if he’s available.  Let’s get real for a second.  This pick is going to be offense.  The Giants are returning 10 of 11 starters on defense, and their problems last year were on the offensive side, with a rotating cast of linemen and I almost had them take Garrett Bolles, but there’s no real clear-cut can’t miss offensive lineman this years.  There’s a lot of flyers, and you don’t want to spend a first-round pick on a flyer.  That’s why I think the Giants will wait until later in the draft to select a lineman, maybe someone like Tayler Moton.  The beauty of Njoku (or Howard but I don’t really see him falling that far or the Giants trading up) is that he provides both offensive line support plus a receiving threat.  This 2 for 1 helps to solve the Giant’s biggest need.

Biggest winner is Christian McCaffrey, who vaults into the Top 10.  I’ve heard a lot of rumors about this is the pick for Carolina, and I’m starting to buy it.  Would improve both the running and passing game.  Cam needs weapons, both receiving and running.  The only concern is durability and is he a three-down player.  But the talent may be too much to pass up.

Elsewhere, Rueben Foster and his diluted urine sample continue to fall.  This latest news, coupled with being asked to leave the Combine for arguing with a hospital worker (true story), might move him out of the first round altogether.

Mock Draft 1.0 (Roidrage)

I know I’ve got my work cut out for me to catch up with Ginger King, but don’t be fooled, despite the 1.0-tag this is like my 17th rough draft.  The Big Board is set, but there is so much fluidity and fragility in sorting out the noise and honing in these mocks.  Let’s get right to it:

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 Cleveland Browns Myles Garrett (Texas A&M) DE
2 San Francisco Mitchell Trubisky (UNC) QB
3 Chicago Bears Solomon Thomas (Stanford) DE
4 Jacksonville Jaguars Leonard Fournette (LSU) RB
5 Tennessee Titans Mike Williams (Clemson) WR
6 NY Jets Jamal Adams (LSU) S
7 Los Angeles Chargers Reuben Foster (Alabama) LB
8 Carolina Panthers Christian McCaffrey (Stanford) RB
9 Cincinnati Bengals Derek Barnett (Tennessee) DE

The future Face of somebody’s Franchise

10 Buffalo Bills Gareon Conley (OSU) CB
11 New Orleans Saints O.J. Howard (Alabama) TE
12 Cleveland Browns Malik Hooker (OSU) S
13 Arizona Cardinals Patrick Mahomes (Texas Tech) QB
14 Philadelphia Eagles Haasan Reddick (Temple) DE
15 Indianapolis Colts Jonathon Allen (Alabama) DT
16 Baltimore Ravens Kevin King (Washington) CB
17 Washington Redskins Marshon Lattimore (OSU) CB
18 Tennessee Titans Tra’Davious White (LSU) CB
19 Tampa Bay Bucs Garett Bolles (Utah) OL
20 Denver Broncos Charles Harris (Missouri) LB
21 Detroit Lions Corey Davis (Western Michigan) WR
22 Miami Dolphins Jarad Davis (Florida) LB
23 New York Giants Jabrill Peppers (Michigan) S/CB
24 Oakland Raiders David Njoku (Miami) TE
25 Houston Texans Zach Cunningham (Vanderbilt) LB

HYBRID

26 Seattle Seahawks Ryan Ramcyk (Wisconsin) OL
27 Kansas City Chiefs Deshaun Watson (Clemson) QB
28 Dallas Cowboys Obi Melifonwu (UConn) S/CB
29 Green Bay Packers Joe Mixon (Oklahoma) RB
30 Pittsburgh Steelers Takk McKinley (UCLA) DE
31 Atlanta Falcons Cam Robinson (Alabama) OL
32 New Orleans Saints Dalvin Cook (FSU) RB

Instant Analysis:  Why wouldn’t the 49ers take Mitch?  New GM, new Coach who fancies himself a QB-guru and a Depth Chart populated with the likes of Brian Hoyer and Matt Simms.  Yikes.  What, I’m suppose to believe they are going to wait around to hopefully land Kirk Cousins.  Yeah, no.  They lock up their Franchise QB right out of the gate and have the rest of the draft to go BPA.

Obviously, I’m not a big believer in Ohio State CB Marshon Lattimore;  he plays too stiff and I will struggle with faster WRs at the next level.  That said, he could easily land in the top-10.

I have no idea where to slot Jabrill Peppers.  He is a tremendous athlete and a really good pure football player.  But where exactly do you play him?  I think he’ll go in the 20-30 range as a luxury pick for some team.

If you’re keeping track at home: that’s 2 RBs in the Top 10 (4 total in the 1st Round);  1 QB in the Top 10 (3 total in the 1st Round).

Oh, this guy sneaks into the backend of the first:

Go down swinging!

There’s no sugar-coating this.  This is disgraceful.  Just awful.  If a team drafts him, regardless of the round, or signs him as an UDFA, there is going to be a backlash.  Your PR department will be working some overtime.  Buuuut, our attention span is short and talent has a way of helping us “forgive and forget”.  Talent-wise, Mixon is a Top-10 pick, so I feel the end of the first already has a hefty discount baked in.

Mock Draft 3.0 (Ginger King)

We’re inside 2 weeks.  There are some big changes here as edge closer to the Draft.  So many questions, so little time.  But that’s why we’re here.  To answer all your questions, until we change the answers next week.  Enjoy.

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 Cleveland Browns Myles Garrett (Texas A&M) DE
2 San Francisco Solomon Thomas (Stanford) DE
3 Chicago Bears Jamal Adams (LSU) S
4 Jacksonville Jaguars Leonard Fournette (LSU) RB
5 Tennessee Titans O.J. Howard (Alabama) TE
6 NY Jets Jonathon Allen (Alabama) DE
7 Los Angeles Chargers Malik Hooker (OSU) S
8 Carolina Panthers Dalvin Cook (FSU) RB
9 Cincinnati Bengals Mike Williams (Clemson) WR

Paired opposite AJ = matchup nightmare.

10 Buffalo Bills Marshon Lattimore (OSU) CB
11 New Orleans Saints Derek Barnett (Tennessee) DE
12 Cleveland Browns Mitchell Trubisky (UNC) QB
13 Arizona Cardinals John Ross (Washington) WR
14 Philadelphia Eagles Marlon Humphrey (Alabama) CB
15 Indianapolis Colts Reuben Foster (Alabama) LB
16 Baltimore Ravens Corey Davis (Western Michigan) WR
17 Washington Redskins Jabrill Peppers (Michigan) S
18 Tennessee Titans Tra’Davious White (LSU) CB
19 Tampa Bay Bucs Ryan Ramcyk (Wisconsin) OL
20 Denver Broncos Garett Bolles (Utah) OL
21 Detroit Lions Taco Charlton (Michigan) DE
22 Miami Dolphins Zach Cunningham (Vanderbilt) LB
23 New York Giants David Njoku (Miami) TE
24 Oakland Raiders Caleb Brantley (Florida) DT
25 Houston Texans Patrick Mahomes (Texas Tech) QB

The successor to the Brock Osweiler era.

26 Seattle Seahawks Haasan Reddick (Temple) DE
27 Kansas City Chiefs Christian McCaffrey (Stanford) RB
28 Dallas Cowboys Jarad Davis (Florida) LB
29 Green Bay Packers TJ Watt (Wisconsin) LB
30 Pittsburgh Steelers Josh Jones (NC State) S
31 Atlanta Falcons Cam Robinson (Alabama) OL
32 New Orleans Saints Gareon Conley (OSU) CB

 

Instant Anlaysis:  Mitchell falling to 12 would be the dream scenario for the Browns, but chances of that working out are iffy.  In fact, I’m not sure he’ll make it, as there are a few teams (Jets, Saints, and even the Bills as a dark horse) that could take Trubisky.  But for now, we’ll give Cleveland some LeBron magic.  Elsewhere, speed sells, as Mr. 4.22 John Ross keeps moving up and up.  He’d fit in perfectly in Arizona, a true deep threat to open up the underneath for (suddenly old) Larry Fitzgerald.  This, in turn, moves Corey Davis up a few slots.  It’s a deceptively deep draft for receivers, but only 3 are first round worthy.  After that, it’s a muddled mix of maybes and could-bes, guys like Ju-Ju Smith-Schuster, Zay Jones, Dede Westbrook, and Curtis Samuel.

On the defensive side, secondary rules.  As many as 8 cornerbacks/safeties (a quarter of the first round) could go on Day 1.  When you think about it, as the league continues to change to a pass-first offense, defenses adjust accordingly.  Thus, corners and safeties become more of a priority.

Mock Draft 2.0 (Ginger King)

NFL Draft 2017

Happy April Fool’s Day!  Did you enjoy scarring your children for life by pretending to throw the family dog into oncoming traffic (Sparkles, no!!!)  Honestly, is there a dumber day out there that people celebrate (not including anything Canada celebrates that we don’t, because really, what the fuck is Boxing Day.  And don’t even get me started about Victoria Day.

Anyway, there’s no fooling around with The Draft.  We’re inside a month.  It’s time to get real.  The first wave of free agency has come and gone, and that has dramatically shaped the first round.  Check out our updated First Round.

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 Cleveland Browns Myles Garrett (Texas A&M) DE
2 San Francisco Solomon Thomas (Stanford) DE
3 Chicago Bears Jonathon Allen (Alabama) DE
4 Jacksonville Jaguars Leonard Fournette (LSU) RB
5 Tennessee Titans Jamal Adams (LSU) S
6 NY Jets Mitch Trubisky (UNC) QB
7 Los Angeles Chargers Malik Hooker (OSU) S
8 Carolina Panthers Dalvin Cook (FSU) RB
9 Cincinnati Bengals O.J. Howard (Alabama) TE
OJ may be the best offensive player in The Draft.

OJ may be the best offensive player in The Draft.

 

10 Buffalo Bills Marshon Lattimore (OSU) CB
11 New Orleans Saints Mike Williams (Clemson) WR
12 Cleveland Browns Cam Robinson (Alabama) OL
13 Arizona Cardinals Reuben Foster (Alabama) LB
14 Philadelphia Eagles Tra’Davious White (LSU) CB
15 Indianapolis Colts Ryan Ramcyk (Wisconsin) OL
16 Baltimore Ravens John Ross (Washington) WR
17 Washington Redskins Jabrill Peppers (Michigan) LB
18 Tennessee Titans Corey Davis (Western Michigan) WR
19 Tampa Bay Bucs Caleb Brantley (Florida) DT
20 Denver Broncos Garett Bolles (Utah) OL
21 Detroit Lions Taco Charlton (Michigan) DE
22 Miami Dolphins Zach Cunningham (Vanderbilt) LB
23 New York Giants David Njoku (Miami) TE
24 Oakland Raiders Marlon Humphrey (Alabama) CB
25 Houston Texans Forrest Lamp (Western Kentucky) OL
26 Seattle Seahawks Kevin King (Washington) CB
27 Kansas City Chiefs Christian McCaffrey (Stanford) RB
White Lightning.

White Lightning.

28 Dallas Cowboys Haasan Reddick (Temple) DE
29 Green Bay Packers T.J. Watt (Wisconsin) LB
30 Pittsburgh Steelers Charles Harris (Missouri) DE
31 Atlanta Falcons Jordan Willis (Kansas St.) DE
32 New Orleans Saints Patrick Mahomes (Texas Tech) QB

Instant Analysis:  Biggest mover is OJ Howard.  Once thought to be available in the late first round, Howard is flying up draft boards.  He’s a two-for one…he’ll improve your passing game and blocking game.  Another riser is John Ross.  Speed sells, and 4.22 is pretty damn fast.  Some fallers include quarterbacks, specifically Deshaun Watson and DeShone Kizer.  Simply put: this is weak QB class, and, when that’s the case, teams are finding that they can get success at QB in later rounds (Russell Wilson, Dak Prescott).  Barring some teams trading back up into the first round (don’t forget about that 5th year team option for 1st round picks), I can’t see more than 2 qbs going in the first.

Another big winner is running backs.  The modern trend puts less value on running backs, however this Draft figures to be different.  Fournette is a bruiser (has Tom Coughlin guy written all over him) and Dalvin Cook and Christian McCaffrey are the dual-threat backs teams cream over.  It’s been 5 years since 3 backs were taken in the First Round.  We like the chances this year.