The Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game

Cheers!Can’t make it to The Machine’s Draft Day Party?  Well, that sucks for you.  But have no fear…we got your back with our play at home game.  How can you make the Draft better, you ask in amazement?  By playing The Big Red Sports Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game.  It’s fun, it’s easy, guaranteed to impress the ladies, and you can play at home or at your favorite watering hole.  Here are the rules:

1.  Draft catchphrases.  There are certain phrases you only hear during the Draft.  Why?  We don’t know, but we love them.  For this reason alone, we give ESPN the slight lean over the NFL Network for your draft day coverage.  That, and, Kiper.  Duh, winning!

The following phrases are worth a shot of beer:

  • Raw talent
  • Off-the-field or character issues
  • Live arm
  • High motor
  • Straight line speed
  • Great Value
  • Upside
  • Best player available
  • Intangibles or Measurables
  • Trade Down
  • War Room
  • New Regime
  • Read-Option
  • Edge Rusher
  • Gets to the Second Level
  • Quick feet
  • Plays in Space
  • Advanced Stats (*new for 2016)

2.  Videos/references.  Each of these are beer-finishing worthy:

  • Reference to Mel’s hair
  • Player on-stage photo-op with family/entourage of 15+
  • Reference to Cleveland Browns front office ineptitude (cough, Trent Richardson, cough, Brandon Weedon, cough, Johnny Manziel)
  • First shot of Drew Rosenhaus in his newest client’s living room
  • First player to cry when their name is called
  • Reference to when Tom Brady was drafted (we’ll also accept Brady’s Combine picture)
  • Reference to Aaron Rodgers draft day slide
  • Video of Brady Quinn in the green room
  • Video of Bill Tobin’s infamous “who the hell is Mel Kiper?” interview during the ’94 Draft

3.  On the Clock Chug.  When your team is on the clock, you have to finish a full beer before the pick is called.  Note:  if your team trades down, they’re on the clock twice, meaning that’s two full beers.  Cowboy up, it’s the Draft!

Basically, if it doesn’t look like this than you’re probably doing it wrong…..

Beer Chug

Or this:

Beer Chug 2

Mock Draft (Ginger King Final)

It's Draft Day!

It’s Draft Day!

Here.  We.  Go.

Our final mock.  After weeks (ok months) of “research” (defined to include watching a shit ton of football with fistfuls of chicken wings and buckets of Coors Light) it’s time to put our “knowledge” to work.  So many questions heading into the Draft, so many rumors flying around; it’s hard to decipher what’s legit and what’s bullshit.  But that’s why we’re here.

Will Myles Jack fall out of the Top 10?  (Yes).

How many receivers will go in the first round? (4).

O/U on first round trades?  (3.5).

Will Ginger King and Roid Rage continue their streak of more correct first round picks than Kiper and McShay? (obviously).  Seriously, why aren’t we on network television?  The man’s keeping a ginger down.

Enough of that.  Let’s get to it.

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 LA Rams Jared Goff (Cal) QB
2 Philadelphia Eagles Carson Wentz (North Dakota St.) QB
3 San Diego Chargers Jalen Ramsey (FSU) CB
4 Dallas Cowboys Joey Bosa (OSU) DE
5 Jacksonville Jaguars DeForest Buckner (Oregon) DE
6 Baltimore Ravens Laremy Tunsil (Ole Miss) OL
7 San Francisco 49ers Ronnie Stanley (Notre Dame) OL
8 Cleveland Browns Paxton Lynch (Memphis) QB
9 Tampa Bay Bucs Vernon Hargreaves (Florida) CB
10 New York Giants Jack Conklin (MSU) OL
11 Chicago Bears Leonard Floyd (Georgia) LB
12 New Orleans Saints Myles Jack (UCLA) LB
13 Miami Dolphins Ezekiel Elliot (OSU) RB
14 Oakland Raiders Sheldon Rankins (Louisville) DT
15 Tennessee Titans Taylor Decker (OSU) OL
16 Detroit Lions Jarran Reed (Alabama) DT
17 Atlanta Falcons Josh Doctson (TCU) WR
18 Indianapolis Colts Ryan Kelly (Alabama) OL
19 Buffalo Bills Reggie Ragland (Alabama) LB
20 New York Jets Darren Lee (OSU) LB
21 Washington Redskins Emmanuel Ogbah (Ok St.) DE
22 Houston Texans Will Fuller (Notre Dame) WR
23 Minnesota Vikings Corey Coleman (Baylor) WR
24 Cincinnati Bengals Laquan Treadwell (Ole Miss) WR
25 Pittsburgh Steelers Eli Apple (OSU) CB
26 Seattle Seahawks Noah Spence (Eastern Kentucky) DE
27 Green Bay Packers Kenny Clark (UCLA) DT
28 Kansas City Chiefs William Jackson III (Houston) CB
29 Arizona Cardinals Keanu Neal (Florida) S
30 Carolina Panthers Artie Burns (Miami) CB
31 Denver Broncos Chris Jones (Miss St.) DE

Mock Draft (Roidrage Final)

It's Draft Day!

It’s Draft Day!

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 St. Louis Rams Jared Goff (Cal) QB
2 Philadelphia Eagles Carson Wentz (N. Dakota St.) QB
3 San Diego Chargers DeForest Buckner (Oregon) DL
4 Dallas Cowboys Jalen Ramsey (FSU) DB
5 Jacksonville Jaguars Ronnie Stanley (Notre Dame) OL
6 Baltimore Ravens Laremy Tunsil (Ole Miss) OL
7 San Francisco 49ers Joey Bosa (OSU) DL
8 Cleveland Browns Ezekiel Elliot (OSU) RB
9 Tampa Bay Bucs Myles Jack (UCLA) LB
10 New York Giants Leonard Floyd (Georgia) LB
11 Chicago Bears Vernon Hargreaves (Florida) DB
12 New Orleans Saints Sheldon Rankins (Louisiana) DL
13 Miami Dolphins Shaq Lawson (Clemson) DL
14 Oakland Raiders William Jackson III (Houston) DB
15 Tennessee Titans Jack Conklin (MSU) OL
16 Detroit Lions Laquan Treadwell (Ole Miss) WR
17 Atlanta Falcons Jarran Reed (Alabama) DL
18 Indianapolis Colts Taylor Decker (OSU) OL
19 Buffalo Bills Noah Spence (E. Kentucky) DL
20 New York Jets Paxton Lynch (Memphis) QB
21 Washington Redskins Darren Lee (OSU) LB
22 Houston Texans Corey Coleman (Baylor) WR
23 Minnesota Vikings Josh Doctson (TCU) WR
24 Cincinnati Bengals Will Fuller (Notre Dame) WR
25 Pittsburgh Steelers Keanu Neal (Florida) S
26 Seattle Seahawks Ryan Kelly (Alabama) OL
27 Green Bay Packers Chris Jones (Miss St) DL
28 Kansas City Chiefs Robert Nkemdiche (Ole Miss) DL
29 Arizona Cardinals Reggie Ragland (Alabama) LB
30 Carolina Panthers Karl Joseph (WV) DB
31 Denver Broncos Kevin Dodd (Clemson) DL

*Updated 4/28/2016, 6:00 PM

Mock Draft (Roidrage 3.0)

It's Draft Week!

It’s Draft Week!

Relatively speaking its been a pretty boring week, what with the Chargers not trading their pick.  What, nobody willing to mortgage their future on the arm (or mustache) of Paxton Lynch?!  Luckily for us there are so many wild cards in this draft (Jack, Lynch, any-WR) and unresolved situations league-wide (Mo Wilkerson, Kap, Bradford) that fireworks should be a plenty throughout the draft.

Shave that thing, bro.

Shave that thing, bro.

On to the picks….

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 LA Rams Jared Goff (Cal) QB
2 Philadelphia Eagles Carson Wentz (North Dakota St.) QB
3 San Diego Chargers Laremy Tunsil (Ole Miss) OL
4 Dallas Cowboys Joey Bosa (OSU) DE
5 Jacksonville Jaguars Jalen Ramsey (FSU) CB
6 Baltimore Ravens Ronnie Stanley (Notre Dame) OL
7 San Francisco 49ers DeForest Buckner (Oregon) DL
8 Cleveland Browns Myles Jack (UCLA) LB
9 Tampa Bay Bucs Vernon Hargreaves (Florida) CB
10 New York Giants Ezekiel Elliot (OSU) RB
Chip Kelly can't help himself. But he might not get the chance; DeForest could be the first non-QB off the board.

Chip Kelly can’t help himself. But he might not get the chance; DeForest could be the first non-QB off the board.

 

11 Chicago Bears Paxton Lynch (Memphis) QB
12 New Orleans Saints Sheldon Rankins (Louisville) DT
13 Miami Dolphins Jack Conklin (MSU) OL
14 Oakland Raiders Leonard Floyd (Georgia) LB
15 Tennessee Titans Darren Lee (OSU) LB
16 Detroit Lions Shaq Lawson (Clemson) DE
17 Atlanta Falcons Reggie Ragland (Alabama) LB
18 Indianapolis Colts Taylor Decker (OSU) OL
19 Buffalo Bills Noah Spence (Eastern Kentucky) DE
20 New York Jets William Jackson III (Houston) CB
floyd01

Mack & Floyd off the edges, lookout!

21 Washington Redskins Chris Jones (Miss St.) DT
22 Houston Texans Corey Coleman (Baylor) WR
23 Minnesota Vikings Jarran Reed (Alabama) DT
24 Cincinnati Bengals Josh Doctson (TCU) WR
25 Pittsburgh Steelers Eli Apple (OSU) CB
26 Seattle Seahawks Ryan Kelly (Alabama) OL
27 Green Bay Packers Andrew Billings (Baylor) DT
28 Kansas City Chiefs Laquan Treadwell (Ole Miss) WR
29 Arizona Cardinals Vernon Butler (Louisiana Tech) DL
30 Carolina Panthers Mackensie Alexander (Clemson) CB
31 Denver Broncos Kevin Dodd (Clemson) DE
Laquan opposite Maclin would be.....well, it would be a massive upgrade!

Laquan opposite Maclin would be…..well, it would be a massive upgrade!

 

 

Mock Draft (Ginger King 4.0)

One week away!

One week away!

Another week, another monster trade!  The Eagles, free from Chip Kelly getting rid of all their good players, made a foolish bold move by moving up to the #2 spot.  Cleveland did a very un-Cleveland like thing by trading down and acquiring multiple (much needed) picks.  It looks like the Browns are taking this whole draft thing seriously now.

But wait, don’t the Browns still need a qb?  Of course they do (RGIII is not the answer).  The Machine can’t help but to make parallels to the ’04 Draft, where the Browns (picking 6th) should have picked Big Ben (after Rivers and Manning), as the drop off after Big Ben was significant (cough, JP Losman, cough).  Instead, the Browns picked Kellen Winslow.  Enough said.  Like ’04, there are 3 consensus first round qbs.  After that, the talent drops dramatically.  Cleveland did select a qb in ’04, Luke McCown in the 4th round, who became another name added to the infamous jersey.

Damn...

Damn…

Will Cleveland make the same mistake again?  Let’s find out.

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 LA Rams Jared Goff (Cal) QB
2 Philadelphia Eagles Carson Wentz (North Dakota St.) QB
3 San Diego Chargers Jalen Ramsey (FSU) CB
4 Dallas Cowboys Joey Bosa (OSU) DE
5 Jacksonville Jaguars Myles Jack (UCLA) LB
6 Baltimore Ravens Laremy Tunsil (Ole Miss) OL
7 San Francisco 49ers Ronnie Stanley (Notre Dame) OL
8 Cleveland Browns Paxton Lynch (Memphis) QB
9 Tampa Bay Bucs Leonard Floyd (Georgia) LB
10 New York Giants DeForest Buckner (Oregon) DE
Ozzie Newsome wins the draft again.

Ozzie Newsome wins the draft again.

11 Chicago Bears Vernon Hargreaves (Florida) CB
12 New Orleans Saints Sheldon Rankins (Louisville) DT
13 Miami Dolphins Ezekiel Elliot (OSU) RB
14 Oakland Raiders William Jackson III (Houston) CB
15 Tennessee Titans Jack Conklin (MSU) OL
16 Detroit Lions Jarran Reed (Alabama) DT
17 Atlanta Falcons Laquan Treadwell (Ole Miss) WR
18 Indianapolis Colts Taylor Decker (OSU) OL
19 Buffalo Bills Emmanuel Ogbah (Ok St.) DE
20 New York Jets Darren Lee (OSU) LB
21 Washington Redskins Reggie Ragland (Alabama) LB
Laquan opposite Julio would be nasty!

Laquan opposite Julio would be nasty!

22 Houston Texans Will Fuller (Notre Dame) WR
23 Minnesota Vikings Corey Coleman (Baylor) WR
24 Cincinnati Bengals Josh Doctson (TCU) WR
25 Pittsburgh Steelers Eli Apple (OSU) CB
26 Seattle Seahawks Chris Jones (Miss St.) DE
27 Green Bay Packers Kenny Clark (UCLA) DT
28 Kansas City Chiefs Vernon Butler (Louisiana Tech) DT
29 Arizona Cardinals Keanu Neal (Florida) S
30 Carolina Panthers Shaq Lawson (Clemson) DE
31 Denver Broncos Kevin Dodd (Clemson) DE
Will Fuller opposite Hopkins would be nasty!

Will Fuller opposite Hopkins would be nasty!

Mock Draft (Ginger King 3.0)

Need more proof of the power of the Draft?  All week, the biggest stories were Kobe’s last game, and Golden State’s quest for 73 wins…until Thursday, when the LA Rams (need to get used to that again) mortgaged the future to move from 15 to 1 in a blockbuster trade with the Titans.  Suddenly, nothing else matters.

Make no mistake:  this trade affects everything.  It ensures that qbs go 1 and 2 in this draft (although Roid Rage and I differ on the order – check out his latest mock).  Biggest winner from this trade:  Paxton Lynch.  With qbs going 1 and 2, Lynch now becomes highly valuable, as the drop off in qb talent after him is significant.  Will he crack the Top 10?  Biggest loser:  Laremy Tunsil.  Plugged in as the number 1 overall for weeks and weeks, Laremy will most certainly fall from the top perch. The question is how far?

And with that, let’s get right to the action.

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 LA Rams Jared Goff (Cal) QB
2 Cleveland Browns Carson Wentz (North Dakota St.) QB
3 San Diego Chargers Laremy Tunsil (Ole Miss) OL
4 Dallas Cowboys Jalen Ramsey (FSU) CB
5 Jacksonville Jaguars DeForest Buckner (Oregon) DE
[cue Tupac]:  California Love!!!

[cue Tupac]: California Love!!!

6 Baltimore Ravens Joey Bosa (OSU) DE
7 San Francisco 49ers Myles Jack (UCLA) LB
8 Philadelphia Eagles Ronnie Stanley (Notre Dame) OL
9 Tampa Bay Bucs Leonard Floyd (Georgia) LB
10 New York Giants Vernon Hargreaves (Florida) CB
11 Chicago Bears Ezekiel Elliot (OSU) RB
12 New Orleans Saints Paxton Lynch (Memphis) QB
13 Miami Dolphins William Jackson III (Houston) CB
14 Oakland Raiders Sheldon Rankins (Louisville) DT
15 Tennessee Titans Jack Conklin (MSU) OL
16 Detroit Lions Corey Coleman (Baylor) WR
17 Atlanta Falcons Laquan Treadwell (Ole Miss) WR
18 Indianapolis Colts Taylor Decker (OSU) OL
19 Buffalo Bills Emmanuel Ogbah (Ok St.) DE
On the rise.

On the rise.

20 New York Jets Jarran Reed (Alabama) DT
21 Washington Redskins Reggie Ragland (Alabama) LB
22 Houston Texans A’Shawn Robinson (Alabama) DT
23 Minnesota Vikings Chris Jones (Miss St.) DE
24 Cincinnati Bengals Will Fuller (Notre Dame) WR
25 Pittsburgh Steelers Eli Apple (OSU) CB
26 Seattle Seahawks Noah Spence (Eastern Kentucky) DE
27 Green Bay Packers Kenny Clark (UCLA) DT
28 Kansas City Chiefs Vernon Butler (Louisiana Tech) DT
29 Arizona Cardinals Darren Lee (OSU) LB
30 Carolina Panthers Josh Doctson (TCU) WR
31 Denver Broncos Kevin Dodd (Clemson) DE
So much depth at DT.  You can't go wrong.

So much depth at DT. You can’t go wrong.

 

Mock Draft (ROIDRAGE 2.0)

Today’s big trade, the kings ransom given to the Titan’s in exchange for the No. 1 overall pick, solves one important mystery:  Jeff Fisher is indeed the third roomie in the Johnny Football – Josh Gordon West Coast High Life Pad.  Confirmed when, shortly after the trade the Rams went on record stating that they sure are glad they’ve got two weeks to sort this mess out and figure out which QB to take.  Well played.  What could possibly go wrong.

On the bright side, the Rams bailed me out of Mock 1.0 that I just wasn’t feeling.  Much happier with Mock 2.0…..

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 St. Louis Rams Carson Wentz (N. Dakota St.) QB
2 Cleveland Browns Jared Goff (Cal) QB
3 San Diego Chargers Jalen Ramsey (FSU) CB

BPA

BPA

4 Dallas Cowboys Joey Bosa (OSU) DE
5 Jacksonville Jaguars Myles Jack (UCLA) LB
6 Baltimore Ravens Ezekiel Elliot (OSU) RB
7 San Francisco 49ers Paxton Lynch (Memphis) QB
8 Philadelphia Eagles DeForest Buckner (Oregon) DE
9 Tampa Bay Bucs Laremy Tunsil (Ole Miss) OL
10 New York Giants Darren Lee (OSU) LB
11 Chicago Bears Sheldon Rankins (Louisiana) DT
12 New Orleans Saints Ronnie Stanley (Notre Dame) OL
13 Miami Dolphins Vernon Hargreaves (Florida) CB
14 Oakland Raiders Leonard Floyd (Georgia) LB
15 Tennessee Titans Shaq Lawson (Clemson) DE

Apparently this is the pose that will get you featured in a BRSM Post.

Apparently this is the pose that will get you featured in a BRSM Post.

16 Detroit Lions Josh Doctson (TCU) WR
17 Atlanta Falcons Reggie Ragland (Alabama) CB
18 Indianapolis Colts Jack Conklin (MSU) DE
19 Buffalo Bills Noah Spence (E. Kentucky) DE
20 New York Jets William Jackson III (Houston) CB
21 Washington Redskins Laquan Treadwell (Ole Miss) WR
22 Houston Texans Corey Coleman (Baylor) WR
23 Minnesota Vikings Vernon Butler (Louisiana Tech) DT

This draft is insanely deep a DL.  At least the Patriots won't get a crack at one of these guys.

This draft is insanely deep a DL. At least the Patriots won’t get a crack at one of these guys.

24 Cincinnati Bengals Kevin Dodd (Clemson) LB
25 Pittsburgh Steelers Eli Apple (OSU)) CB
26 Seattle Seahawks Mackensie Alexander (Clemson) CB
27 Green Bay Packers Taylor Decker (OSU) DT
28 Kansas City Chiefs Jarran Reed (Alabama) DT
29 Arizona Cardinals Ryan Kelly (Alabama) OL
30 Carolina Panthers Will Fuller (Notre Dame) WR
31 Denver Broncos Chris Jones (Miss St) DT

MOCK DRAFT (ROIDRAGE 1.0)

I’m down 30-love to Ginger King as he has already dropped Mock Draft 1.0 and 2.0.  Yes, a tennis reference in a football mock draft, you know things are about to get crazy.  Let me take a swing at this and serve you up my first mock of the drafting season…

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 Tennessee Titans Laremy Tunsil (Ole Miss) OL
2 Cleveland Browns Jared Goff (Cal) QB
3 San Diego Chargers Jalen Ramsey (FSU) CB
4 Dallas Cowboys DeForest Buckner (Oregon) DE
5 Jacksonville Jaguars Myles Jack (UCLA) LB
6 Baltimore Ravens Ezekiel Elliot (OSU) RB
7 San Francisco 49ers Carson Wentz (North Dakota St.) QB
8 Philadelphia Eagles Vernon Hargreaves (Florida) CB
9 Tampa Bay Bucs Sheldon Rankins (Louisiana) DT
10 New York Giants Ronnie Stanley (Notre Dame) OL

Top ten talent.

Top ten talent.

11 Chicago Bears Joey Bosa (OSU) DE
12 New Orleans Saints Darren Lee (OSU) LB
13 Miami Dolphins Eli Apple (OSU) CB
14 Oakland Raiders Jack Conklin (MSU) OL
15 St. Louis Rams Paxton Lynch (Memphis) QB
16 Detroit Lions Josh Doctson (TCU) WR
He's no MegaTron (who is), but he is my #1 rated WR.

He’s no MegaTron (who is), but he is my #1 rated WR.

17 Atlanta Falcons Shaq Lawson (Clemson) DE
18 Indianapolis Colts Kevin Dodd (Clemson) DE
19 Buffalo Bills Noah Spence (Eastern Kentucky) DE
20 New York Jets Taylor Decker (OSU) OL
21 Washington Redskins Laquan Treadwell (Ole Miss) WR
22 Houston Texans Corey Coleman (Baylor) WR
23 Minnesota Vikings Vernon Butler (Louisiana Tech) DT
24 Cincinnati Bengals Leonard Floyd (Georgia) LB
25 Pittsburgh Steelers Reggie Ragland (Alabama) LB
26 Seattle Seahawks Mackensie Alexander (Clemson) CB
27 Green Bay Packers A’Shawn Robinson (Alabama) DT
28 Kansas City Chiefs Jarran Reed (Alabama) DT
29 Arizona Cardinals Emmanuel Ogbah (Okl. St) DE
30 Carolina Panthers William Jackson III (Houston) CB
31 Denver Broncos Robert Nkemdiche (Ole Miss) DE

#BallSkills

#BallSkills