WEEK 9 Staff Picks ATS (2013)


Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
10/31 8:25 ET Cincinnati -2.5 At Miami
11/3 1:00 ET At Carolina -7.5 Atlanta
11/3 1:00 ET At Dallas -10.5 Minnesota
11/3 1:00 ET New Orleans -6 At NYJ
11/3 1:00 ET Tennessee -3 At St. Louis
11/3 1:00 ET Kansas City -3 At Buffalo
11/3 1:00 ET San Diego -1 At Washington
11/3 4:05 ET At Oakland -2.5 Philadelphia
11/3 4:05 ET At Seattle -16.5 Tampa Bay
11/3 4:25 ET Baltimore -2.5 At Cleveland
11/3 4:25 ET At New England -6.5 Pittsburgh
11/3 8:30 ET Indianapolis -2.5 At Houston
11/4 8:40 ET At Green Bay -10.5 Chicago
  Roid Rage     Ginger King     Dr. Mike     Vegas Vinny  
  W L T     W L T     W L T     W L T  
Last Week 7 6 0     7 6 0     7 6 0     6 7 0  
Season to-date 61 55 4     57 59 4     63 53 4     57 59 4  
  CIN     CIN     CIN     CIN  
  CAR     CAR     ATL     CAR  
  MIN     MIN     MIN     DAL  
  NO     NO     NO     NO  
  TEN     TEN     TEN     TEN  
  KC     KC     KC     KC  
  SD     SD     SD     WASH  
  OAK     PHI     PHI     OAK  
  SEA     SEA     TB     SEA  
  BAL     BAL     BAL     CLEV  
  NE     NE     PIT     NE  
  HOU     INDY     INDY     HOU  
  CHI     GB     CHI     GB  
LOTW CIN     TEN     ATL     NE  
LOTW Record 5 3 0     1 7 0     3 5 0     5 3 0  
You're Welcome!

You’re Welcome!

Tuesday Teabag, October 29, 2013 – Kevin Harvick and Ty Dillon

Get off my lawn, punks!

Get off my lawn, punks!

Admittedly, The Machine doesn’t know much about NASCAR, outside of Ricky Bobby and Dick Trickle (he he).  Can anyone explain to us why its biggest race (the Daytona 500, the Super Bowl of NASCAR) is the first race of the year?  What we do know about NASCAR—formed from us having attended one NASCAR race plus our innate ability to accurately stereotype people—is this:.  (i) drinking is required, (ii) smoking is encouraged, and (iii) you can use the phrase “git-r-done” un-mockingly (“come on Kenseth, git-r-done on the outside!”).  Also, 100% of the People of Wal-Mart are NASCAR fans. 

But what we lack in general automotive knowledge (why aren’t the cars automatic, and where are the fucking doors?) we make up in understanding a good old pissing contest, and we got a good one brewing on the track.

Kevin Harvick (or #29 to the NASCAR fan) is a driver for Richard Childress Racing, but not for long.  He’s leaving RCR at the end of the year to sign with rival Stewart-Haas Racing [wait, how can you still be under contract yet already have a deal to go to another team?].  He’s been with RCR for 13 years, so naturally there’s a lot of history between them, and both sides should try and end things on the right note.  Or not.

The future of RCR:  Cowboy hats and designer shades.

The future of RCR: Cowboy hats and designer shades.

It seems that the main problem Harvick has with RCR is that he’s being pushed out in favor of Ty and Austin Dillon, who just happen to be Richard Childress’ grandsons.  This all came to a head on Saturday night, during a Truck Series race. [Note: is Truck Series NASCAR?  How can some people race both cars and trucks in different series?]

Harvick was running second with 12 laps to go, and Ty – his teammate – was running third.  Ty, trying to pass his “teammate”, hits him from behind causing an accident.  The accident causes Harvick to finish 30th (Ty finished 22nd).  But post-race things got really interesting…as in Jerry Springer interesting.

A pissed off Harvick went to seek out Ty, and, while he was in Dillon’s pit stall [whatever that is] Dillon’s crew member threw a hammer at his truck.  This only added fuel to the fire.  Said Harvick, “I don’t care what they throw at me.  That’s exactly the reason I’m leaving RCR is because you’ve got those punk-ass kids coming up.”  Wanting to make sure his get your ball out of my yard message was received, Harvick continued.  “Exactly the reason why I’m leaving RCR because you’ve got those kids coming up and they’ve got no respect for what they do in this sport and they’ve had everything fed to them with a spoon.”

Hates old people, except Grandaddy Moneybags.

Hates old people, except Grandaddy Moneybags.

21-year-old Ty, confirming the disdain that the youth of today have for adults, said “I don’t care what Kevin Harvick said.  I don’t think anybody does.”  Harvick did later apologize, but the damage was already done.

The Machine’s take:  this isn’t, excuse me, ain’t the NASCAR we’ve come to know and stereotype.  We thought all NASCAR disputes were settled via a case of Old Milwaukie and a boot to the head…but reasonably explaining your emotions to the media and then apologizing for your comments???  That isn’t, sorry, ain’t NASCAR.  Also, Ty and Austin?  Those ain’t NASCAR names, sounds like they belong at the country club, not the racetrack.  Rusty, Junior, Denny, Robbie.  Those are NASCAR names.  And, lost in all of this was the fact that the Dale Wallace Jr. (great NASCAR name, btw) won the race, becoming the first African-American driver to win a NASCAR race in over 50 years.  What???  Commence mind being blown.

We feel bad for Harvick.  It’s clear he’s being pushed out of RCR for “the future” and it’s clear the future is two spoiled, entitled rich kids, the antithesis of everything NASCAR.  However, if Harvick wants to instill old-school NASCAR values into these young whipper snappers, he needs to do it the NASCAR way: crank up the country, put on your shit kickers, and git-r-done!  The only way you’ll get through to the youth of today is by humbling them at their own game.  We’re hoping Harvick spins out that sumbitch on the track next year.  Rubbin’ is racin’!

Will this controversy get us to watch NASCAR?  Probably not, but, as the most watched sport in America, they’re certainly not hurting for fans.  The most watched sport in America?  Damn, we really are (willfully) ignorant of the rest of the country…perhaps due to our (genuine) fear of the South.  But we do know this:  if you’re ever stuck in a conversation with NASCAR people, or made a wrong turn and ended up in Talladega or a Bass Pro Shop, just utter the following phrase:  “Junior aint’ never gunna be like his daddy!”  That should get you out of most jams.

Shake and bake.

Enjoy your teabag.

Week 8 – Fantasy Waiver Wire Pick Ups

Welcome to Week 8, fantasy friends.  We’re at the mid-way point in the season, and now’s the time where things get serious.  A critical step to fantasy domination involves successfully navigating the waiver wire.  A lot of big names are on bye this week (Foster, Ray Rice, Brandon Marshall, CJ2K, T. Rich) and a lot of big injuries have sidelined players (Roddy White, Jay Cutler, Reggie Wayne, Doug Martin).  If you’re struggling to replace someone this week, you’ve come to the right place.  Here are our top Week 8 Waiver Wire pick ups.

Ivory should get the bulk of the carries from here on out.

Ivory should get the bulk of the carries from here on out.

Chris Ivory, RB Jets (% owned in Yahoo! leagues, 55%)

Ivory is still available in 45% of Yahoo! leagues.  If one of those is yours, you best go and pick him up right now.  For most of the season, Ivory has been stuck in RB by committee hell, splitting time with Bilal Powell and Mike Goodson.  However, Goodson’s out on IR and done for the season, and Ivory seems to have won over the starting job from Powell.  Last week, Ivory ran the ball 34 (yes, 34!) times, for 104 yards, clearly outpacing Powell, who carried the ball 3 (yes, 3) times.

That distribution of work bodes well for Ivory going forward. 

Roy's got a good chance to hit paydirt again this week.

Roy’s got a good chance to hit paydirt again this week.

Roy Helu, Jr., RB Washington (54%)

Roy has quietly put together 3 straight double-digit fantasy weeks, and he’s now starting to cut into Alfred Morris’ touches.  While Alfred is still the feature RB, he’s become more of an early down back, and Roy has filled in on 3rd downs, short yardage situations, and in the hurry up offense.  Roy only had 12 carries for 46 yards last week, but…wait for it…3 tds.  This means Roy is getting the all important goaline carries. 

It'll be like Terrelle's back in the Big 10 for a day.

It’ll be like Terrelle’s back in the Big 10 for a day.

Terrelle Pryor, QB, Oakland (35%)

If you’re in need of a QB this week, Terrelle may be the guy you’re looking for.  Playing at home against the (suddenly inept) Steelers D, Pryor has a chance to put up solid numbers, both in the air and on the ground.  Over his last 3 starts, Pryor has averaged 239 yards in the air and 41 yards on the ground, while also throwing 4 tds and 3 ints. 

We know it's weird, but the Jets actually offer some fantasy value.

We know it’s weird, but the Jets actually offer some fantasy value.

Jerome Kerley, WR NY Jets (26%)

Chances are, you missed out on picking up Jarrett Boykin and/or Harry Douglas, who are both now owned in more than 70% of leagues.  If you were lucky enough to get one of them, great.  If not, and you’re still in need of a WR, Kerley’s a nice fill in.  Last week, he went 8/97/1, and, more importantly, led the team in targets with 10.  Even if he doesn’t replicate those numbers this week, he should be getting a good amount of passes thrown his way.  Pencil him in as a WR3/flex.

If you're desperate for a RB this week, Brandon's in line to see an increased workload this week.

If you’re desperate for a RB this week, Brandon’s in line to see an increased workload this week.

Brandon Boldin, RB, New England (12%)

Although the Patriots employ the worst RB by committee in the league, Brandon has some value this week, especially in PPR leagues.  Shane Vareen is injured, which has move Brandon up the depth chart, and also moved him into Shane’s role of the passing-down back.  He also has a favorable matchup against the rushing-friendly Dolphins defense. 


Because The Machine loves you, here are two bonus waiver wire pick ups.  These guys will be hot next week, but if you got a roster spot available, pick them up now.

DHB will get (another) chance to live up to his Top 10 draft status.

DHB will get (another) chance to live up to his Top 10 draft status.

Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR Colts (45%)

DHB is still available in over half the leagues.  That will change dramatically next week, as the Colts come off the bye.  With Reggie Wayne done for the year, DHB will come in and replace him as the featured WR.  And with Trent Richardson still sucking, the Colts will open up the offense and turn to the passing game more.

Andre will be the #1 back for the G-Men, grab him now and thank us later.

Andre will be the #1 back for the G-Men, grab him now and thank us later.

Andre Brown, RB, NY Giants (19%)

Wait, you mean the same Andre Brown that has a broken leg and hasn’t played all season?  Yeah, that one.  Andre is scheduled to return to the G-Men in Week 10 (Giants are on a bye next week) but, more importantly, he’s going to return as the featured back.  With injuries to Wilson and Jacobs, the Giants currently have 7th round rookie Michael Cox and (forgotten) Peyton Hillis in the backfield.  Andre should come in and immediately pay dividends.  Get him while you still can.


WEEK 8 Staff Picks ATS (2013)…with bonus World Series Predictions!

Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
10/24 8:25 ET Carolina -6 At Tampa Bay
10/27 1:00 ET San Francisco -16.5 At Jacksonville
10/27 1:00 ET At Detroit -3 Dallas
10/27 1:00 ET At Philadelphia -5.5 NY Giants
10/27 1:00 ET At Kansas City -7.5 Cleveland
10/27 1:00 ET At New Orleans -11.5 Buffalo
10/27 1:00 ET At New England -6.5 Miami
10/27 4:05 ET At Cincinnati -6.5 NY Jets
10/27 4:05 ET Pittsburgh -2.5 At Oakland
10/27 4:25 ET At Denver -12.5 Washington
10/27 4:25 ET At Arizona -2.5 Atlanta
10/27 8:30 ET Green Bay -9 at Minnesota
10/28 8:40 ET Seattle -11 At St. Louis
Roid Rage     Ginger King     Dr. Mike     Vegas Vinny
Last Week 11 4 0 8 7 0 6 9 0 7 8 0
Season to-date 54 49 4 50 53 4 56 47 4 51 52 4
LOTW Record 4 3 0 1 6 0 3 4 0 4 3 0
GAME 2 Line: Boston -122; O/U 7
Roid Rage Ginger King Dr. Mike Vegas Vinny
GAME 2 Line: Boston -119/St. Louis +119
Boston Boston Boston
GAME 2 O/U: 7
Under Under Under
Series Winner (# of games)
Boston (6) Boston (5) Boston (5) St. Louis (7)
Series MVP
Pedroia Ortiz Napoli Beltran
Big Papi Homers, O/U 1.5
Under Over Over Over

Tuesday Teabag, October 22, 2013 – Jim Irsay

Thanks Peyton for all your hard work...dick.

Thanks Peyton for all your hard work…dick.

Loyal readers of The Machine know that we love excessive displays of wealth, power, and crazy.  It’s why we love A-Rod, Mike Tyson, RHONJ, and 80’s Hair Metal.  But even we have our limits…and our limit is reached when it comes to Jim Irsay.

Irsay is the owner of the Colts.  He’s outspoken and passionate, loves guitars, and is a huge fan of Twitter.  These things aren’t necessarily bad (ok, a 54-year-old man with a Twitter hard-on is a bit much) but throw in an over-bearing personality that loves to show off his wealth while at the same time professing he’s one of us, and it’s too much.  As an owner, he subscribes to the Jerry Jones School of Ownership Meddling, and that puts him in the middle of our crosshairs.

The Sunday night game featured the (previously) undefeated Broncos at the Colts.  Peyton Manning coming back to Indy to face his old team, you know, the team (and Owner) who thought he wasn’t good enough to keep playing.  Andrew Luck ready to show the world he’s ready to be the next great Colts QB.  A lot of meaningful storylines that added drama to this anticipated matchup.  And then there’s Irsay.

In the weeks leading up to the big game, Irsay wasted no time making sure the Peyton Manning bridge to Indy was completely burned.  In what can only be considered a backhanded compliment, Irsay noted the following in an interview with USA Today

“We’ve changed our model a little bit, because we wanted more than one of these,” Irsay says, flicking up his right hand to show his Super Bowl XLI championship ring.

“(Tom) Brady never had consistent numbers, but he has three of these,” Irsay adds. “Pittsburgh had two, the Giants had two, Baltimore had two and we had one. That leaves you frustrated.”

“You make the playoffs 11 times, and you’re out in the first round seven out of 11 times. You love to have the Star Wars numbers from Peyton and Marvin (Harrison) and Reggie (Wayne). Mostly, you love this.”  Then, Irsay flicks up his right hand again.

Now, obviously this was a dig at Peyton, and it was universally received as such.  John Fox, coach of the Broncos, called it “disappointing and inappropriate” and Todd Helton, yes the baseball player, called Irsay classless and an idiot.  This prompted Irsay to go to Twitter to set the record straight (note: the record has never been set straight via Twitter).


Yeah, that totally makes sense.  If that’s the case, why didn’t you say that?  We’d have more respect for Irsay if he stood by his comments.  Instead, he blames “the media” for twisting his words and (very logically) adding meaning to what he says.

As luck would have it (pun intended), the Colts won on Sunday night.  This win alone speaks volumes, and should give Irsay all the satisfaction he needs.  However, like every mega-ego maniac, Irsay wasn’t satisfied with letting the win do the talking.  Back to Twitter!   


Ok, nice job trying to (re)build the Manning bridge (and good job recognizing that your fanbase still views him as a demi-god and would pick him over you any day).  Then, things took a quick turn to crazy.


Then, perhaps addressing (legitimate) questions like “hey man, it’s 3:00 in the morning and you’re dropping shit-slingers on Twitter…you hammered?” Irsay clarified his state of mind: 


And why haven’t you thrown one back in over 15 years, Jim?  Oh yeah, that’s why

Blue hair and glazed eyes definitely not alcohol induced.

Blue hair and glazed eyes definitely not alcohol induced.

Ok Jim, The Machine’s going to level with you:  stop being a fame whore owner.  You’ve done a good job building, and now rebuilding, the Colts.  Let that serve as your body of work.  Trashing former players, folding like a two dollar hooker when called out, and otherwise acting like a douche is not the way to go.  Your eccentricities will eventually wear everyone down and turn them against you (see Davis, Al). 

Nothing says "average joe" like posing in front of a dozen custom made guitars and a Super Bowl trophy.

Nothing says “average joe” like posing in front of a dozen custom-made guitars and a Super Bowl trophy.

And stop trying to be a man of the people.  You’re not one of us, buddy, and you’re not a Mark Cuban-like success story.  You’re the owner of the Colts because your daddy was the owner of the Colts.  Shit, the only things my dad gave me were bad knees and a receding hairline.

And stop tweeting so much, unless you want to RT this article.  That’s cool.

Enjoy your Teabag.

WEEK 7 FanDuel Lineup

Good morning Daily Fantasy Sports fans (AKA Fantasy Football degenerates)!  Week 7 looks like easy money.  Here is The Machines  lineup (60k salary, 1 PM games only)…..

We like our chances

We like our chances

Lamar Miller and the Dolphins are coming off a bye and get the Bills Swiss cheese run defense.  Enjoy Keenan Allen’s minimum ($4,500) price tag while it still lasts;  Philip Rivers is feeding him a steady diet of down-field footballs.  The Redskins would be wise to get the athletic Reed more opportunities in the passing game.  We’ve loaded up on studs from the Dallas-Philly match-up in anticipation of a shoot-out.

WEEK 7 Staff Picks ATS (2013)

Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
10/17 8:25 ET Seattle    -6.5 At Arizona
10/20 1:00 ET New England    -4 At NY Jets
10/20 1:00 ET San Diego    -7.5 At Jacksonville
10/20 1:00 ET At Atlanta    -7 Tampa Bay
10/20 1:00 ET At Detroit    -3 Cincinnati
10/20 1:00 ET At Miami    -8 Buffalo
10/20 1:00 ET At Washington     PK Chicago
10/20 1:00 ET At Philadelphia    -2.5 Dallas
10/20 1:00 ET At Carolina    -6 St. Louis
10/20 4:05 ET San Francisco    -4 At Tennessee
10/20 4:25 ET At Kansas City    -6.5 Houston
10/20 4:25 ET At Green Bay    -10 Cleveland
10/20 4:25 ET At Pittsburgh    -2 Baltimore
10/20 8:30 ET Denver    -6.5 At Indianapolis
10/21 8:40 ET At NY Giants    -3.5 Minnesota
Roid Rage     Ginger King     Dr. Mike     Vegas Vinny
Last Week 8 7 0 7 8 0 9 6 0 6 9 0
Season to-date 43 45 4 42 46 4 50 38 4 44 44 4
LOTW Record 4 2 0 1 5 0 3 3 0 4 2 0

Tuesday Teabag, October 15, 2013 – Chicago Cubs and Steve Bartman 10 Years Later

It's not you Steve, it's them.

It’s not you Steve, it’s them.

So what city has the worst baseball fans?  Coming up with a Top 5 (in alphabetical order) is easy:  Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, New York, and Philadelphia (damn, we’re a bunch of scumbags on the east coast).  But picking a number 1?  That gets a little tougher.  Each city could lay claim to that title, but The Machine gives you the real answer, after analyzing it through our exclusive Teabag-ometer® : 


Longest World Series Drought Worst Accent Most Likely to Get Killed in Stadium Belief in the Supernatural
Chicago Boston Los Angeles (really all of California) Chicago
Los Angeles New York Chicago Boston
Philadelphia Chicago Philadelphia Philadelphia
New York Philadelphia Boston New York
Boston Los Angeles New York Los Angeles

 Yes, loyal Machine readers.  Chicago, and in particular Cubs fans, are the Worst.  Fans.  Ever.  Sure, your chances of getting killed at a Dodgers game are pretty high, but that’s only if you root for the other team.  In Chicago, they turn on their own. 

Monday marked the 10th anniversary of the Steve Bartmann fiasco.  Sidebar:  that was ten years ago???  Damn, we’re old.  Anyway, we all remember the scene, but let’s give a quick recap:

Game 6, Cubs v. Marlins.  Cubs are ahead in the series 3-2.  Top of the 8th, Cubs leading 3-0 and are 5 outs away from going to their first World Series in 58 (now 68) years.  The Wrigley faithful are electric.  This is our year…and then it happens.


Foul ball down the left field line.  Moises Alou jumps into the stands to try and catch the ball amidst a crowd of people, including Bartman (and others).  He doesn’t catch the ball, but instead throws a temper tantrum at Bartman, who (unknowingly) has just become the most hated person in all of Chicago. 

Stay classy, Chicago.

Stay classy, Chicago.

The Marlins score 8 runs in that inning, Cubs lose, and Bartman (for his own safety) gets escorted out of his seat and has to leave Wrigley in a disguise.  Obviously, the Cubs lose Game 7, haven’t been back to the playoffs since, and it’s all because of Steve Motherfucking Bartman.*

Anyone who really believes that Steve Bartman (a lifelong Cubs fan) caused the Cubs to lose is 100% bat shit crazy.  Let’s look at some things that Cubs fans aren’t familiar with:  facts.  First, there’s no way Alou catches that ball.  ESPN can write all

Sorry crazy obsessive Cubs fans, but find someone else to blame.

Sorry crazy obsessive Cubs fans, but find someone else to blame.

the compelling documentaries they want, but look at this photo.  Enough said.  Second, this would probably have been a non-issue but for Moises’ childish hissy fit, which really set things in motion.  Third, it was Game 6, there was still an entirely different game to play, at home, in a Bartman-free Wrigley.  Fourth, if you really want to blame someone (aren’t we all looking for someone to blame for our failures?), blame Alex Motherfucking Gonzalez*, who botched an easy (inning ending) double play. 

Yes, there are a ton of reasons why Bartman is not to blame.  However, in the ensuing 10 years, he’s had to live a life of relative obscurity.  Surprisingly, he still lives in Chicago, but hasn’t been back to Wrigley, and refuses to do any interviews or make any public appearances, despite ESPN’s desperate attempts to get him on camera. 

You’d think that people would be able to move on.  Reasonable sports fans would.  But, then again, we’re talking about people who actually believe their team was cursed by a billy goat in 1945.  So, really, when you take that to its logical conclusion, it can’t be Bartman’s fault because it’s Billy Motherfucking Goat’s* fault. 

Well, that should end the curse, right?

Well, that should end the curse, right?

In 2004, the owner of Harry Caray’s restaurant purchased the Bartman baseball for just over $113,000.  They asked people for suggestions on what they should do with the ball.  They received over 20,000 suggestions (hello, crazy).  Ultimately, they decided to blow it up in front of a live nationally televised audience.  Stay classy, Chicago.

Hey, Cubbies, listen up:  Let.  It.  Go.  It’s been 10 years and your team sucks.  And it’s not Bartman’s fault.  It never was.  Trying to blame others for your teams failures is a move normally reserved to suburban helicopter parents.  The Cubs, by sitting silent through all this, have assisted in irretrievably screwing up this guy’s life.  If I’m the Cubs, I’d invite Bartman back to throw the first pitch and sing Take Me Out to the Ballgame, and formally apologize on behalf of your (neurotic/sociopathic/manic-depressive/alcoholic) fan base.  However, such a move, according to notable Chicago sports journalists, would be unthinkable. 

Says Michael Wilbon, “What does the organization stand to gain by that?  I’ll tell you:  Nothing.”  The fact that reputable journalists discredit the idea of a Bartman reunion is ridiculous.  The man’s life has been ruined, he’s been in hiding for 10 years and has an entire City (still) blaming him for losing the World Series, excuse me, for losing Game 6 of the NLCS which would have gotten them to the World Series, and they’re concerned with what impact it would have on the Cubbies. 

I don’t care how many “wicked retahdes” or “fugethabboutits” I have to sit through in Fenway or Yankee Stadium, respectively, it’s certainly more enjoyable to know that at least I’ll be surrounded by people who only hate the other team and their fans.

Enjoy your Teabag.

*unconfirmed middle name

WEEK 6 Staff Picks ATS (2013)

Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
10/10 8:25 ET At Chicago -9.5 NY Giants
10/13 1:00 ET Cincinnati -7.5 At Buffalo
10/13 1:00 ET Philadelphia Pk At Tampa Bay
10/13 1:00 ET At NY Jets -1 Pittsburgh
10/13 1:00 ET At Minnesota -1 Carolina
10/13 1:00 ET At Kansas City -9.5 Oakland
10/13 1:00 ET At Houston -9 St. Louis
10/13 1:00 ET Detroit -1 At Cleveland
10/13 1:00 ET Green Bay -1 At Baltimore
10/13 4:05 ET At Seattle -13.5 Tennessee
10/13 4:05 ET At Denver -26.5 Jacksonville
10/13 4:25 ET At San Francisco -11 Arizona
10/13 4:25 ET At New England -1 New Orleans
10/13 8:30 ET At Dallas -6 Washington
10/14 8:40 ET Indianapolis -1 At San Diego
  Roid Rage     Ginger King     Dr. Mike     Vegas Vinny  
  W L T     W L T     W L T     W L T  
Last Week 8 6 0     6 8 0     6 8 0     6 8 0  
Season to-date 35 38 4     35 38 4     41 32 4     38 35 4  
  NYG      NYG     NYG     NYG  
  BUF      CIN     CIN     CIN  
  PHI      PHI     TB     PHI  
  PIT      PIT     NYJ     NYJ  
  MIN      MIN     CAR     MIN  
  OAK      OAK     KC     KC  
  HOU      STL     StL     HOU  
  CLE      CLE     DET     CLE  
  GB      GB     GB     GB  
  SEA      SEA     TENN     TENN  
  JAC      DEN     JAC     DEN  
  SF      SF     ARI     ARI  
  NO      NE     NO     NO  
  DAL      WASH     DAL     DAL  
  INDY      INDY     INDY     INDY  
LOTW GB      INDY     DET     GB  
LOTW Record 3 2 0     1 4 0     2 3 0     3 2 0  
We've seen a lot of Pouty Eli thus far.

We’ve seen a lot of Pouty Eli thus far….but the Staff loves the G-Men for their first win…err, cover…. this week!

WEEK 5 Staff Picks ATS (2013)

Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
10/3 8:25 ET At Cleveland -3.5 Buffalo
10/6 1:00 ET At St. Louis -11.5 Jacksonville
10/6 1:00 ET Kansas City -1 At Tennessee
10/6 1:00 ET At NY Giants -1 Philadelphia
10/6 1:00 ET At Miami -2.5 Baltimore
10/6 1:00 ET Seattle -1 At Indianapolis
10/6 1:00 ET At Green Bay -7.5 Detroit
10/6 1:00 ET At Cincinnati -1 New England
10/6 1:00 ET New Orleans Pk At Chicago
10/6 4:05 ET Carolina -1 At Arizona
10/6 4:25 ET Denver -7.5 At Dallas
10/6 8:30 ET At San Francisco -6.5 Houston
10/6 11:35 ET San Diego -4 At Oakland
10/7 8:40 ET At Atlanta -10.5 NY Jets
  Roid Rage     Ginger King     Dr. Mike     Vegas Vinny  
  W L T     W L T     W L T     W L T  
Last Week 7 7 1     8 6 1     11 3 1     9 5 1  
Season to-date 27 32 4     29 30 4     35 24 4     32 27 4  
  CLE     BUF     BUF     CLE  
   JAC      JAC      JAC      JAC  
   TEN      KC      KC      KC  
   PHI      NYG      NYG      PHI  
   BAL      MIA      BAL      BAL  
   IND      IND      SEA      SEA  
   GB      GB      DET      GB  
   NE      NE      NE      NE  
   CHI      NO      NO      NO  
   CAR      ARI      ARI      CAR  
   DEN      DEN      DEN      DEN  
   SF      SF      SF      HOU  
   OAK      SD      OAK      SD  
   NYJ      ATL      ATL      ATL  
LOTW  GB      JAC      KC      NO  
LOTW Record 2 2 0     1 3 0     1 3 0     2 2 0