Can’t make it to Ginger King’s Draft Day Party? Well, that sucks for you. But have no fear: we got your back. “How can I make the Draft better?”, you ask yourself in amazement. By playing The Big Red Sports Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game. It’s fun, it’s easy, guaranteed to impress the ladies, and you can play at home or at your favorite watering hole. Here are the rules:
1. Draft catchphrases. There are certain phrases you only hear during the Draft. Why? We don’t know, but we love them. For this reason alone, we give ESPN the slight lean over the NFL Network for your Draft Day coverage. That, and, Kiper. Duh, winning!
The following phrases are worth of a shot of beer (Note: You’re going to hear these phrases about 40 times per round. Trust me, a swig of beer per phrase is enough, unless you want to be asleep by pick 13):
- Grinder/gritty (*new for 2024)
- S2 Cognition Test/Wonderlic
- Arm talent or generational talent
- Red flag
- Blue collar/lunch pail guy
- Live arm
- High motor
- Straight line speed
- Great Value/Upside
- Dual threat
- System quarterback
- Pocket presence
- Best player available
- Intangibles or Measurables
- War Room
- New Regime
- Edge Rusher
- Gets to the Second Level
- Quick feet
- Plays in Space/Plays in a phone booth
- Silky hips
- Thick frame
- Plays in the box (hey oh!)
- Backside protector (hey oh!)
2. Videos/references. Each of these are beer-finishing worthy:
- Reference to Mel’s hair
- Any player to lift Goodell off the ground in their onstage Draft embrace
- First shot of Drew Rosenhaus in his newest client’s living room
- First player to cry when their name is called
- Anytime a Make-a-Wish kid announces a pick
- Reference to Aaron Rodgers draft day slide
- Video of Bill Tobin’s infamous “who the hell is Mel Kiper?” interview during the ’94 Draft
- And this:
3. On the Clock Chug. When your team is on the clock, you have to do a shot of Jim Beam of chug a full beer before the pick is called. Note (and this is important): if your team trades down, they’re on the clock twice, meaning two beamers/beers. Cowboy up, it’s the Draft!
Basically, if it doesn’t look like this:
Or this:
you’re doing it wrong!
Take your Draft day experience to the max! Good luck.