Mock Draft 4.0 (Ginger King)

Round 1 Team Pick
1 Arizona Cardinals Kyler Murray (Oklahoma) QB
2 San Francisco 49ers Nick Bosa (OSU) DE
3 New York Jets Josh Allen (Kentucky) EDGE
4 Oakland Raiders Devin White (LSU) LB
5 Tampa Bay Bucs Montez Sweat (Miss State) EDGE
6 New York Giants Quinnen Williams
(Alabama)
DL
7 Jacksonville Jaguars Jawaan Taylor (Florida) OL
8 Detroit Lions Rashaan Gary (Michigan) DE
9 Buffalo Bills Ed Oliver (Houston) DL
10 Denver Broncos Drew Lock (Missouri) QB
11 Cincinnati Bengals Dwayne Haskins (Ohio St.) QB
12 Green Bay Packers TJ Hockenson (Iowa) TE
13 Miami Dolphins Clelin Ferrell (Clemson) DE
14 Atlanta Falcons Christian Wilkins (Clemson) DL
15 Washington
Redskins
D.K. Metcalf (Ole Miss) WR
16 Carolina Panthers Jonah Williams (Alabama) OL
17 New York Giants Brian Burns (FSU) EDGE
18 Minnesota Vikings Cody Ford (Oklahoma) OL
19 Tennessee Titans Andre Dillard (Wash St.) OL
20 Pittsburgh Steelers AJ Brown (Ole Miss) WR
21 Seattle Seahawks Byron Murphy
(Washington)
CB
22 Baltimore Ravens Devin Bush (Michigan) LB
23 Houston Texans Chris Lindstrom
(Boston College)
OL
24 Oakland Raiders Josh Jacobs (Alabama) RB
25 Philadelphia Eagles Marquise Brown
(Oklahoma)
WR
26 Indianapolis Colts Greedy Williams (LSU) CB
27 Oakland Raiders Dexter Lawrence
(Clemson)
DL
28 L.A. Chargers Daniel Jones (Duke) QB
29 Kansas City Chiefs Parrish Campbell
(Ohio St.)
WR
30 Green Bay Packers Jonathon Abram
(Miss St.)
S
31 L.A. Rams Jeffrey Simmons
(Miss St.)
DL
32 New England
Patriots
Noah Fant (Iowa) TE

Mock Draft 3.0 (Ginger King)

We’re inside 3 weeks!  Time to get excited.  Also, it’s time to fully open the kimono.  Here’s our complete Round 1.    

Round 1 Team Pick
1 Arizona Cardinals Kyler Murray (Oklahoma) QB
2 San Francisco 49ers Nick Bosa (OSU) DE
3 New York Jets Quinnen Williams
(Alabama)
DL
4 Oakland Raiders Josh Allen (Kentucky) EDGE
5 Tampa Bay Bucs Devin White (LSU) LB
6 New York Giants Rashaan Gary (Michigan) DE
7 Jacksonville Jaguars Jawaan Taylor (Florida) OL
8 Detroit Lions Montez Sweat (Miss St.) EDGE
9 Buffalo Bills Andre Dillard (Wash St.) OL
10 Denver Broncos Drew Lock (Missouri) DL
11 Cincinnati Bengals Dwayne Haskins (Ohio St.) QB
12 Green Bay Packers Ed Oliver (Houston) DL
13 Miami Dolphins Clelin Ferrell (Clemson) DL
14 Atlanta Falcons Christian Wilkins
(Clemson)
DL
15 Washington Redskins Greedy Williams (LSU) CB
16 Carolina Panthers Jonah Williams (Alabama) OL
17 New York Giants Daniel Jones (Duke) QB
18 Minnesota Vikings Cody Ford (Oklahoma) OL
19 Tennessee Titans TJ Hockenson (Iowa) TE
20 Pittsburgh Steelers D.K. Metcalf (Ole Miss) WR
21 Seattle Seahawks Byron Murphy
(Washington)
CB
22 Baltimore Ravens Devin Bush (Michigan) LB
23 Houston Texans Chris Lindstrom
(Boston College)
OL
24 Oakland Raiders Dexter Lawrence
(Clemson)
DL
25 Philadelphia Eagles Josh Jacobs (Alabama) RB
26 Indianapolis Colts Brian Burns (FSU) EDGE
27 Oakland Raiders Deandre Baker (Georgia) CB
28 L.A. Chargers Rock Ya-Sin (Temple) CB
29 Kansas City Chiefs Parrish Campbell (Ohio St.) WR
30 Green Bay Packers AJ Brown (Ole Miss) WR
31 L.A. Rams Jeffrey Simmons (Miss St.) DL
32 New England
Patriots
Noah Fant (Iowa) TE
You work out, bro?

Instant Analysis:  One of the hardest people to place in the draft is DK Metcalf.  DK absolutely owned the Combine (4.3 40!, 27 reps at 225!) and he also owns a lot of muscles (see above).  But does any fan base want him?  Despite the monstrous Combine, the tape is inconsistent.  Doesn’t create much separation, more straight line speed than football speed.  Also, his 1.6% body fat, while impressive, seems too low, and could make him too prone to injury.  Remember David Boston?  Notwithstanding, someone’s taking him in the first round, and he could go as high as 9 to the Bills, or 22 to the Ravens.  He makes a lot of sense to the Steelers at 19, who need to reload after losing their entire offense Antonio Brown and Le’Veon Bell.

Elsewhere, Oakland has 3 first round picks, and they use all three to re-tool their defense.  If they end up with Josh Allen, Dexter Lawrence and Deandre Baker, they’ll get three instant starters, and with the signing of Antonio Brown, trading Khalil Mack and Amari Cooper doesn’t look so crazy.  It’s like Chucky has a plan.

And New England gets a happy ending at the end of the first with Noah Fant, who will try to fill the Gronk void…until Gronk comes back mid-season. 

Mock Draft 2.0 (Ginger King)

One week closer, time to update the Mock Draft.  Some new faces (and quarterbacks) in the Top 10.  Here’s the Top half of Round 1.

Round 1 TeamPlayer
1Arizona CardinalsKyler Murray (Oklahoma)QB
2San Francisco 49ersNick Bosa (OSU)DE
3New York JetsQuinnen Williams (Alabama)DL
4Oakland RaidersJosh Allen (Kentucky)Edge
5Tamp Bay BucsDevin White (LSU)LB
6New York GiantsRashaan Gary (Michigan)DE
7Jacksonville JaguarsJawaan Taylor (Florida)OL
8Detroit LionsChristian Wilkins (Clemson)DL
9Buffalo BillsAndre Dillard (Washington)OL
10Denver BroncosDrew Lock (Missouri)QB
11Cincinnati BengalsDevin Bush (Michigan)LB
12Green Bay PackersD.K. Metcalf (Ole Miss)WR
13Miami DolphinsDwayne Haskins (OSU)QB
14Atlanta FalconsEd Oliver (Houston)DL
15Washington RedskinsGreedy Williams (LSU)CB
16Carolina PanthersJonah Williams (Alabama)OL
17New York GiantsMontez Sweat (Miss St.)DE
Latest Mile High Savior.

Instant Analysis:  A new quarterback cracks the Top 10.  Drew Lock is climbing up the draft boards, and some people think he’ll leapfrog Dwayne Haskins.  He seems to be a good fit for Denver, and Elway is high on him…although he was also high on Brock Osweiler…and Paxton Lynch…and Trevor Siemian…and Case Keenum.  Wait, are you saying former players make for lousy front office executives?  Yes, I am.

Mock Draft 1.0 (Ginger King)

[NFL fan, could be you]:  Where the Hell have you guys been?  Aren’t you guys a little late to the draft party?  I’ve seen tons of mock drafts already.  How come you guys haven’t put one out yet?  Kiper already has, like, 20 out.  What’s wrong with you guys? 

[Ginger King]:  While we appreciate the mock draft enthusiasm, note this:  mock drafts before free agency are absolute horseshit.  Don’t believe me?  Look at this tweet:

citing our own Tweets…so meta.

My kids don’t know their street address (or an emergency contact number), but they do know this:  Free agency shapes the draft.  Period.  How many (pre-free agency) mock drafts did you see with Jacksonville taking a quarterback?  All of them.  You think that’s happening now that they just signed Nick Foles and his (allegedly) ginormous trouser snake?  Da Raiders just signed Antonio Brown (and Tyrell Williams).  You think they’re going to draft a receiver with any of their three (3!) first round picks???  [side note: laugh all you want at Gruden and his questionable coaching decisions…but they just acquired the game’s best receiver for a bag of chips, AND have three first round draft picks].  I’m Team Chucky on this. 

And LOL at that Kiper shit.  Our streak of more first round picks right than Kiper (and McShay) is guaranteed to continue.  Book it.

Anyway, here’s my Top 10…just the tip for now…it costs extra to see my full mock (believe me, my full mock is HUGE.  The best.).  Anyway, enjoy St. Patrick’s Day (fucking amateur hour) and make sure to celebrate it the right way (blind drunk).  As soon as Roid Rage gets out of his Leprechaun costume, he’ll post his Top 10. 

Round 1 Team Pick
1 Arizona Cardinals Kyler Murray (Oklahoma) QB
2 San Francisco 49ers Nick Bosa (OSU) DE
3 New York Jets Quinnen Williams (Alabama)DL
4 Oakland Raiders Josh Allen (Kentucky) Edge
5 Tampa Bay Bucs D.K. Metcalf (Ole Miss) WR
6 New York Giants Montez Sweat (Miss State) DE
7 Jacksonville Jaguars Rashaan Gary (Michigan) DE
8 Detroit Lions Christian Wilkins (Clemson) DL
9 Buffalo Bills Jawaan Taylor (Florida) OL
10 Denver Broncos Ed Oliver (Houston) DL
I’m this big!

Instant Analysis:  If you were to ask me one week ago, I would have told you the Kyler Murray to Arizona talk was a total smokescreen.  Now…call me naïve…but I’m totally buying this.  Sure, Arizona traded up in last year’s draft to get their quarterback of the future in Josh Rosen…but that was soooo last year.  New Coach new quarterback.  Simply put:  Kyler’s Kliff Kingbury’s guy, and if we know anything about Kliff Kingsbury, it’s that he picks the right partners.

Good eye for talent.

San Francisco should take about 1 second to get to the podium, as Nick Bosa is an absolute no brainer.  I also think Quinnen Williams and Josh Allen are no brainers as well.  Things will get interesting at 5.  Tampa could go in a number of directions, but this is Jameis’ last stand, and pairing D.K. with Mike Evans would be a solid 1-2 punch (or at least enough cover for the front office to draft Tua next year). 

Speaking of a number of directions, the Giants are at 6 and everyone is screaming qb.  However, David Gettelman has a plan, and that plan involves re-building with a 38-year-old quarterback.  This pick (and their other first round pick) will be defense, as the Giants finally remember a long-forgotten football mantra:  Defense (and Saquon Barkley) wins championships.  I also think the Giants will trade for Josh Rosen.  His price will only go down the closer you get to the Draft, so hold tight G-Men.

Rounding out the rest of the Top 10, the Bills luck out by the run on defensive players and grab the best tackle in the draft with Jawaan Taylor.

Also, this Top 10 assumes no trades.  No way that’s going to happen.  If Dwayne Haskins slips past the Giants, there’s a good chance a qb needy team like Miami or Washington sneak in to the Top 10. 

Why the Patriots will win the Super Bowl

Let’s get it on!

Hi friends.  We’re back at it with full Super Bowl coverage.  Roid Rage will try to explain to you why the Rams will win the Super Bowl (you know, the team that doesn’t even belong there and has Todd Gurley at 60% health).  Good luck with that.  I don’t care how hot Sean McVay’s girlfriend is (which, for the record, is really hot), not even that will stop me from going with what we all know, whether we want to admit it:  the New England Patriots will win the Super Bowl.

But Ginger King, isn’t this a departure from your normal, anti-everything New England (except chowder, that shit’s delicious).  Yes, but I forgot to tell you my New Year’s resolution:

Embrace Evil.

Evil begets evil

Yes.  With Sith blood flowing freely through my veins, I can finally recognize and appreciate the greatness of the best football dynasty of all time.  It’s an unprecedented level of success.  Since the turn of the century, the Patriots have won the AFC East 16 times (including 10 in a row) with 5 Super Bowls.  All with the same Coach, same quarterback, and same plug and play receivers and cornerbacks.

I’m even moved by Tom Brady’s hype video:

View this post on Instagram

If you happen to be lucky…

A post shared by Tom Brady (@tombrady) on

The Patriots have been so good, for so long, that they need to invent their own problems.  TB12, Deflategate, awkwardly long mouth to mouth kisses with your children…the Patriots are that bored that they need to make shit up.  And here’s the latest:  that they’re the underdog.

Hands of an underdog.

Seriously.  Is anyone buying this?  Vegas was, for a hot second, when the Patriots were underdogs to Kansas City, you know, the new, high scoring team with a hot shot young quarterback (sound familiar?).  Well, that didn’t last long, and it didn’t take long for the Patriots to acknowledge it either.  The New England smugness was in full effect, just minutes after the AFC Championship Game.

And why were the Patriots thought of as underdogs, you ask?  Because [putting tinfoil hat on] they manufactured that message, too.  Yes, with a somewhat pedestrian regular season (by Patriot standards), the Patriots crafted this story line that they’re the underdogs.  That they don’t have the firepower they used to.  A muted Gronk.  That they’re too old, and a shell of their former selves.  Well, don’t believe it for a second.  Let’s break this down, shall we.

They don’t have the firepower they used to.

FALSE.  In fact, they have more firepower this year than last year.  Two words:  Julian Edleman.  Julian may not be thought of as one of the best receivers in the league, but that’s only because you’re not thinking hard enough.  Come playoff time, his numbers are HOF worthy.  Edleman is second in all-time playoff receptions (behind Jerry Rice) and only needs 45 yards to be second in all-time receiving yards (again, behind Jerry Rice).  And he didn’t play in the Super Bowl last year, as he was out with a knee injury.  With a healthy Edleman, Brady has his do everything receiver back.  And you heard it hear first:  Edleman will throw a touchdown pass.  We’re calling this the Patriot Special (suck it, Philly).

Muted Gronk

FALSE.  Sure, our favorite meathead/future Celebrity Big Brother had a career low 3 tds, a depressing 47 receptions, and oftentimes looked slow and broken down this season (check out the Miami Miracle and you’ll see what I mean).  But when it mattered, Gronk delivered.  Gronk went 6/79 against Kansas City.  Not spectacular, but he came through in the clutch.  On their game-winning overtime drive, 3rd and 10, Brady went to Gronk, who delivered on a 15-yard reception.  That was Brady’s last pass of the game.  And get this:  Gronk was targeted a team high (and season high) 11 times.  Translation:  Gronk’s Tide pod and Monster fueled body still has some gas in the tank.  And it comes at the right time, against the right team.

Chest bumps for everyone!

As tough as the Rams D is, they are vulnerable to tight ends.  During their Week 11 game against Kansas City, Travis Kelce went 10/127/1, with a team high 15 targets.  Gronk will present the same type of matchup dilemma.  It’s a matchup the Patriots will exploit, and Gronk should flourish, especially when lined out wide against a db.  Look for Gronk to lead the Patriots in targets (and fist bumps).

Too Old

FALSE.  This one’s hilarious.  The Patriots suffer from late 90’s/early 00’s Yankees syndrome (don’t say that in Boston, btw).  They’ve been so good, for so long, with such an obnoxious fucking fanbase, that everyone can’t wait for the next best thing to come along.  And that shiny new toy is the Rams…the new team in a new city with the youngest head coach in the NFL.  Sean McVay just turned 33 on Thursday (son of a bitch).  Bill Belichick is literally twice his age.  Jared Goff.  Todd Gurley.  Aaron Donald.  The next dynasty, generation of studs, best hope to beat the Patriots.

Yes, the millennials are here and, unlike every other scenario involving millennials, the whole country is rooting for them.  All of a sudden, the game has passed by the old ball coach.  The hoodie is old news.  Brady’s lost it.  Gronk’s lost it.  The dynasty is over.  Correction;  the dynasty is almost over.  Like Bobby Bacala, Sr. in the Sopranos, Belichick’s got one more hit in him.  One more trick up his sleeve.  They’re just that good.  Look for Bellichick to out-McVay, McVay, and call the games first trick play (e.g., fake fg/punt, trick play).

Think about the head to head comparisons.

Coaching:  Patriots

Quarterback:  Patriots

Receivers:  Patriots

Running Backs:  Push, although I can make a pretty good case this too should be the Patriots.  Sorry, but there’s no way Todd Gurley is at 100% and the Rams’ offensive strategy is to lean on CJ Anderson.  Not buying it.  Gurley had 4 carries for 10 yards against the Saints.  The Rams had 1 rushing touchdown against the Saints, and only 4 rushing touchdowns in the playoffs.  Contrast that with the Patriots, who have had 8 rushing touchdowns in the playoffs, led by rookie stud Sony Michel, who has had 5 rushing touchdowns…more than the entire Rams.

Defense:  Rams, but it’s a lot closer than you think.  The Rams are 31st –that’s right, second to last in the league – at points allowed per game, giving up over 32 points a game.  The Rams and Patriots are tied with 18 interceptions each, and the Patriots have caused more fumbles.  Sure, I’m cherry picking stats to make my case, (let’s not look at sacks or Aaron Donald, ok) but everyone’s acting like this Rams D is the second coming of the ’85 Bears.  Puh-lease.  Not even close.  And while there’s only ever been one ejection in Super Bowl history, look for hot head and dick-stomper Ndamakung Suh to double that total.

Apologies to everyone west of Massachusetts, but come Super Bowl Sunday, evil will prevail.  Evil will also cover the spread, as I love the Patriots at -2.5.  Sorry Rams, your fickle fanbase will soon go back to surfing and LeBron, and will forget that there’s even a team in LA, let alone two.  And Tom Brady will hoist his 6th Super Bowl trophy and go back home to his supermodel wife.  Evil is good.

Patriots:  34, Rams 28

Book the parade.

2018 Fantasy Football Rankings – QB

GOAT*
*except against NFC East in the Super Bowl

Rank Player Team
1 Aaron Rodgers GB
2 Tom Brady NE
3 Drew Brees NO
4 Russell Wilson SEA
5 Mathew Stafford DET
6 Deshaun Watson HOU
7 Andrew Luck IND
8 Matt Ryan ATL
9 Phillip Rivers LAC
10 Cam Newton CAR
11 Kirk Cousins MIN
12 Ben Roethlisberger PIT
13 Carson Wentz PHI
14 Jared Goff LAR
15 Eli Manning NYG
16 Jimmy Garropolo SF
17 Marcus Mariota TEN
18 Derek Carr OAK
19 Dak Prescott DAL
20 Patrick Mahomes KC
21 Andy Dalton CIN
22 Alex Smith WAS
23 Case Keenum DEN
24 Ryan Tannehill MIA
25 Blake Bortles JAC
26 Sam Darnold NYJ
27 Sam Bradford ARI
28 Tyrod Taylor CLE
29 Mitchell Trubisky CHI
30 Joe Flacco BAL
31 Josh Allen BUF
32 Jamies Winston TB

2018 Fantasy Football Rankings – RB

Rank Player Team
1 Le’Veon Bell PIT
2 Todd Gurley LAR
3 Ezekiel Elliott DAL
4 David Johnson ARI
5 Saquon Barkley NYG
6 Alvin Kamara NO
7 Kareem Hunt KC
8 Melvin Gordon LAC
9 Leonard Fournette JAC
10 Devonta Freeman ATL
11 Christian McCaffrey CAR
12 Dalvin Cook MIN
13 LeSean McCoy BUF
14 Joe Mixon CIN
15 Jordan Howard CHI
16 Derrick Henry TEN
17 Jay Ajayi PHI
18 Marshawn Lynch OAK
19 Mark Ingram NO
20 Jerrick McKinnon SF
21 Lamar Miller HOU
22 Jamaal Williams GB
23 Rashaad Penny SEA
24 Dion Lewis TEN
25 Carlos Hyde CLE
26 Tevin Coleman ATL
27 Chris Carson SEA
28 Alex Collins BAL
29 Royce Freeman DEN
30 Kenyan Drake MIA
31 Corey Coleman PHI
32 Gio Bernard CIN
33 Isaiah Crowell NYJ
34 James White NE
35 LeGarrette Blount DET
36 Sony Michel NE
37 Marlon Mack IND
38 Devontae Booker DEN
39 Theo Riddick DET
40 Latavius Murray MIN
41 Ronald Jones TB
42 Chris Thompson WAS
43 Ty Montgomery GB
44 Duke Johnson CLE
45 Rex Burkhead NE
46 C.J. Anderson CAR
47 Rob Kelley WAS
48 Darren Sproles PHI
49 Doug Martin OAK
50 Jonathon Stewart NYG

2018 Fantasy Football Rankings – WR

Can’t go wrong.

Rank Player Team
1 Antonio Brown PIT
2 Julio Jones ATL
3 DeAndre Hopkins HOU
4 Odell Beckham Jr. NYG
5 Michael Thomas NO
6 Keenan Allen LAC
7 A.J. Green CIN
8 Davante Adams GB
9 Mike Evans TB
10 Jarvis Landry CLE
11 Brandin Cooks LAR
12 Stephan Diggs MIN
13 Tyreek Hill KC
14 T.Y. Hilton IND
15 Allen Robinson CHI
16 Doug Baldwin SEA
17 Larry Fitzgerald ARI
18 Adam Thielen MIN
18 Amari Cooper OAK
19 Demaryius Thomas DEN
20 Danny Amendola MIA
21 Julian Edelman NE
22 Sammy Watkins KC
23 Robert Woods LAR
24 Golden Tate DET
25 Alshon Jeffrey PHI
26 Emmanuel Sanders DEN
27 Kelvin Benjamin BUF
28 Marquis Goodwin SF
29 Willie Snead BAL
30 Jamison Crowder WAS
31 Randall Cobb GB
32 Chris Hogan NE
33 Michael Crabtree OAK
34 Devin Funchess CAR
35 Sterling Shepard NYG
36 Cameron Meredith CHI
37 Nelson Agholor PHI
38 Will Fuller HOU
39 Cooper Kupp LAR
40 Jordy Nelson OAK
41 Pierre Garcon SF
42 Calvin Ridley ATL
43 Marvin Jones DET
44 John Brown BAL
45 Ju-Ju Smith Schuster PIT
46 Allen Hurns DAL
47 Corey Davis TEN
48 Maquis Lee JAC
49 Michael Gallup DAL
50 Josh Doctson WAS

2018 Fantasy Football Rankings – TE

Get some!

Tight end this year is boom or bust.  At the top end, there are guys that are essentially receivers, and can consistently put up big numbers.  After the Top 5, however, it’s hit or miss (draft strategy alert).  Therefore, if you’re not able to get one of the Top 5 TE, you’re better off waiting and taking a flyer on a guy like David Njoku or George Kittle.

Rank Player Team
1 Rob Gronkowski NE
2 Travis Kelce KC
3 Zach Ertz PHI
4 Evan Engram NYG
5 Greg Olsen CAR
6 Delanie Walker TEN
7 Jimmy Graham GB
8 Kyle Rudolph MIN
9 Jack Doyle IND
10 Jordan Reed WAS
11 Trey Burton CHI
12 David Njoku CLE
13 George Kittle SF
14 Charles Clay BUF
15 Tyler Eiffert CIN
16 OJ Howard TB
17 Ricky Seals-Jones ARI
18 Jared Cook OAK
19 Vance McDonald PIT
20 Austin Hooper ATL
21 Mike Gesicki MIA
22 Eric Ebron IND
23 Vernon Davis WAS
24 Hayden Hurst BAL
25 Ed Dickson SEA

Gronk or bust!

2018 Fantasy Football Rankings – D

Yeah you do.

Rank Team
1 Jacksonville
2 Houston
3 Minnesota
4 Los Angeles Rams
5 Philadelphia
6 Pittsburgh
7 Baltimore
8 Denver
9 Carolina
10 New Orleans
11 Los Angeles Chargers
12 New England
13 New York Giants
14 Arizona
15 Buffalo
16 Seattle
17 Atlanta
18 Kansas City
19 Green Bay
20 Tennessee