BRSM’s Draft Day Drinking Game

Can’t make it to The Machine’s Draft Day Party?  Well, that sucks for you. But have no fear: we got your back. “How can I make the Draft better?”, you ask yourself in amazement. By playing The Big Red Sports Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game. It’s fun, it’s easy, guaranteed to impress the ladies, and you can play at home or at your favorite watering hole. Here are the rules:

1. Draft catchphrases.  There are certain phrases you only hear during the Draft. Why?  We don’t know, but we love them. For this reason alone, we give ESPN the slight lean over the NFL Network for your Draft Day coverage. That, and, Kiper. Duh, winning!

The following phrases are worth a shot of beer:

  • S2 Cognition Test (*new for 2023)
  • Arm talent
  • Off-the-field/Character issues
  • Live arm
  • High motor
  • Straight line speed
  • Great Value/Upside
  • Dual threat
  • System quarterback
  • Pocket presence
  • Best player available
  • Intangibles or Measurables
  • War Room
  • New Regime
  • Edge Rusher
  • Gets to the Second Level
  • Quick feet
  • Plays in Space
  • Silky hips
  • Thick frame
  • Plays in the box (hey oh!)
  • Backside protector (hey oh!)
  • Generational talent
  • Hybrid

2.  Videos/references.  Each of these are beer-finishing worthy:

  • Reference to Mel’s hair
  • Any player to lift Goodell off the ground in their onstage Draft embrace
  • First shot of Drew Rosenhaus in his newest client’s living room
  • First player to cry when their name is called
  • Reference to Aaron Rodgers draft day slide
  • Video of Bill Tobin’s infamous “who the hell is Mel Kiper?” interview during the ’94 Draft
  • And this:
This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Johnny-Manziel.gif

3.  On the Clock Chug.  When your team is on the clock, you have to finish a full beer before the pick is called (shot of Jim Beam also acceptable). Note: if your team trades down, they’re on the clock twice, meaning two full beers/beamers. Cowboy up, it’s the Draft!

Basically, if it doesn’t look like this, you’re doing it wrong.

Beer Chug

Or this:

Beer Chug 2

Mock Draft 3.0 (Ginger King)

Happy Draft Eve! Our penultimate mock. Check back tomorrow for our final mock and our Draft Day Drinking Game, the perfect complement to your Draft night experience. Anyway, there are have been some big moves on the draft board, and big trades (welcome Mr. Rodgers to the Jets). Aaron, straight out of his darkness chamber, should have no problem relating to the average Jets fan (an overweight, beer-soaked guy from Long Island who’s perpetually pissed off). Good luck!

And the QB slide begins. There’s always misdirection and smokescreens with the Draft and player analysis. I think some of the time people are tired of writing the same thing, and are looking for ways to spice things up. Or teams will put out information hoping that it will cause a player to fall to them. That could be the case with C.J. Stroud, or people are staring to realize he played quarterback for Ohio St. Quick: name me a successful QB in the NFL from Ohio St. Ever. Terrelle Pryor? Troy Smith? Dwayne Haskins (RIP)? Bobby Hoying? Justin Fields may be the best, and the jury is still very much out on him. Truth is: Ohio St. sucks at producing quarterbacks that can play in the NFL. Perhaps more damning is the release of his S2 Cognition Test score, which was, putting it mildly, underwhelming. That could have teams nervous to invest a high pick. If Indy doesn’t take him at 4, I think he could fall out of the Top 10. Stay tuned.

Some noteworthy changes here. I’m hearing that New England is the floor for Bijan Robinson, especially if JSN is off the board. Also, I think the floor for Anthony Richardson is Seattle. That would be quite the first round for Seattle: restarting the Legion of Boom with Devon Weatherspoon, and drafting the quarterback who I think has the most upside in the Draft.

Welcome Hendon Hooker to the Show! While some qbs are sliding, Hendon is soaring. If Hooker didn’t tear his ACL last year, he would be in the conversation for first overall. We think he’s the most NFL ready quarterback in the Draft. Given the 5th year team option for first round picks, someone should take him at the end of the first round. It makes sense if that someone is Minnesota. He could sit for a year, which would allow him to fully heal from his injury, and allow Kirk Cousins to collapse in the post-season again. Elsewhere, if the Bills don’t pull off a trade for Hopkins, look for them to draft Zay Flowers, a speedy, slot receiver that will finally shut up free up space for Stefon Diggs.

Get some sleep. Big day tomorrow, kids.

Mock Draft 2.0 (Ginger King)

We’re inside one week. Time to get serious. We’ve drank a lot of beer and scrolled Twitter done a lot of research over the past few weeks getting ready for the big show. We’ll be posting updated mocks daily (fingers crossed) so check back to see the latest action.

The Panthers are dialed in on Bryce Young, who has seemed to distanced himself as the number one quarterback in the Draft, despite no games having been played. I think this just comes down to who’s the most NFL ready. I’ll take the guy who plays in the most NFL-style offense. #RollTide. In other news, Houston is screwed. They have to take a quarterback at 2. They cannot wait until 12 and hope one of the top 4 will fall.

Biggest mover is Bijan Robinson. He is soaring up Draft boards. I’m told he will be drafted in the top half of the first round.

Unless they decide to trade up, Tennessee will be biting their fingernails hoping a qb will fall to them at 11. I think the Jets will go back to the OL well. It won’t matter who plays quarterback if there’s no pocket to throw in. I’ve heard a lot of chatter that Detroit is in love with Calijah Kancey. I think the Lions will use both of their picks on defense. Prepare for a lot of kneecaps to be bitten.

Folks are starting to shade the receiving class…I still think 4 will go in the first round. And when you pair that with Michael Mayer and Dalton Kincaid (two pass-catching tight ends) the receiving class is not as bad as people make it out to be. If the Giants miss out on a receiver, their consolation prize should be Emmanuel Forbes, an absolute ball hawk who has speed (4.35/40) and size (6’1″), both of which are lacking in the Giants secondary. If rumors out of Buffalo are true (no, not the baby mama rumors) Buffalo will be set at receiver. I think they will go back to practical football 101, and look to improve the line. Here, it’s the defensive line with Bryan Bresee out of Clemson.

Mock Draft 1.0 (Ginger King)

Alright friends. It’s finally time. The adults are ready to sit at the Draft table. If you recall, our number one pet peeve (besides people clapping when the plane lands – FFS just stop – were you expecting the plane to crash??) is pre-free agency mock drafts. We’ve been saying it for YEARS.

Plain and simple: free agency shapes the draft. You think the Raiders are looking for a qb now that they got Jimmy Dreamboat? (sidenote: we’re still waiting for our free sex for life offer). Teams will first plug holes with existing talent, and then turn to the draft. Anyway, we’ll step off our soapbox and get right to the good stuff.

Four, yes four, qbs will go in the Top 10. Seattle could be in the market for a qb, but adding Christian Gonzalez to that secondary will go a long way to re-establishing the legion of boom. Chicago really lucks out…trading down 8 spots and still getting the guy the would’ve taken #1 overall. Ryan Poles and co. are looking smart. They got an assist from poor driving skills, but they are approaching this draft the right way.

If Paris Johnson falls out of the Top 11, he should not last past the Titans, who need to rebuild that line. Speaking of rebuilding the line, the Jets will take their turn (again) at another first round lineman. After trading away T.J. Hockenson last year, the Lions reload with Michael Mayer, the Draft’s best tight end (and Gronk clone).

The bottom third of the first round is where we’re going to see a run on receivers. There is no clear cut #1 in this year’s draft. That, and the qb run, will push the receivers down some. The Giants would do cartwheels if (and it’s a big if) Quentin Johnston is there at 25. What the Giants need is big-bodied receiver, especially after Kenny Golladay decided he didn’t like to catch anymore. But wait, didn’t the Giants sign a bunch of free agent receivers? Yes, but don’t be fooled…the Giants only have 2 receivers (Wan-Dale Robinson and Darius Slayton) that are signed for more than 2 years. Everyone else is a one year rental.

O’Cyrus Torrence may be our favorite player in the Draft. Seriously, go watch some game tape. He’s an absolute mauler. Loves to initiate contact. Physical and nasty…just like Bills Mafia. He’ll fit right in.

Bijan Robinson may be the toughest one to predict. He could go as high as 8. I don’t think Philly would pass at him at 30, especially after losing Miles Sanders.

BRSM’s Draft Day Drinking Game

Can’t make it to The Machine’s Draft Day Party?  Well, that sucks for you.  But have no fear…we got your back.  “How can I make the Draft better?”, you ask yourself in amazement.  By playing The Big Red Sports Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game.  It’s fun, it’s easy, guaranteed to impress the ladies, and you can play at home or at your favorite watering hole.  Here are the rules:

1. Draft catchphrases.  There are certain phrases you only hear during the Draft.  Why?  We don’t know, but we love them.  For this reason alone, we give ESPN the slight lean over the NFL Network for your Draft Day coverage.  That, and, Kiper.  Duh, winning!

The following phrases are worth a shot of beer:

  • Raw talent
  • Off-the-field/Character issues
  • Live arm
  • High motor
  • Straight line speed
  • Great Value/Upside
  • Dual threat
  • System quarterback
  • Pocket presence
  • Best player available
  • Intangibles or Measurables
  • War Room
  • New Regime
  • Edge Rusher
  • Gets to the Second Level
  • Quick feet
  • Plays in Space
  • Silky hips
  • Thick frame
  • Plays in the box (hey oh!)
  • Backside protector (hey oh!)
  • Generational talent
  • Hybrid

2.  Videos/references.  Each of these are beer-finishing worthy:

  • Reference to Mel’s hair
  • Video of Goodell’s basement
  • Player with matching suit and mask
  • First shot of Drew Rosenhaus in his newest client’s living room
  • First player to cry when their name is called
  • Reference to when Tom Brady was drafted (we’ll also accept Brady’s Combine picture)
  • Reference to Aaron Rodgers draft day slide
  • Video of Bill Tobin’s infamous “who the hell is Mel Kiper?” interview during the ’94 Draft
  • And this:
This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Johnny-Manziel.gif

3.  On the Clock Chug.  When your team is on the clock, you have to finish a full beer before the pick is called (shot of Jim Beam also acceptable). Note: if your team trades down, they’re on the clock twice, meaning two full beers. Cowboy up, it’s the Draft!

Basically, if it doesn’t look like this, you’re doing it wrong.

Beer Chug

Or this:

Beer Chug 2

Mock Draft 3.0 (Ginger King)

Happy Draft Eve! We’re almost there friends! One day away from injecting pure optimism into your fanbase, unless you’re a Browns fan. I probably have another mock (or two) in me before the show begins, so let’s get right to it.

There’s a huge movement for Travon Walker going #1 to the Jags. He’s now the betting favorite to go first overall, which is wild to think of, as this has been a two man race for sometime. I think that speaks more to the fact that there is no clear cut Alpha dog, but rather a solid group of really good players that are close in range and ability. I can easily make a case for 5 people to be the first pick, which I don’t think I’ve ever been able to say before. I can’t see Malik Willis making it past Carolina…and no, I’m not buying the Baker Mayfield rumors. No team is going to trade a meaningful draft pick for him, they’ll just wait until Cleveland releases him.

One thing I am buying: the Kayvon slide. Once thought of as the top pick in the draft, teams are reportedly turned off by his personality and are questioning his commitment to the game. With a fanbase made up of mostly people from Long Island, the Jets care very little about personality. Another thing I’m buying: the Jermaine Johnson rise. Don’t be surprised if he gets drafted ahead of Kayvon.

The first half of the draft will be dominated by the line, both offensive and defensive. The second half will see a run on complimentary pieces; namely corners and receivers. There are two things I know for sure: 1. Never eat at restaurant that serves ranch with chicken wings. 2. The Green Bay Packers will select a receiver. Jameson Williams is one of the hardest people to place in the draft, based on his recent injury (same for Ojabo, too). If some team’s medical staff gives him the all clear, he could go as high as 8.

Here me out, Buffalo. I know you want a receiver or corner, but at this point Burks, Williams, Booth, and McDuffie are gone, and you don’t want to reach. Instead, what you do is re-watch the National Championship game and look for the baddest man on the field. That would be Nakobe Dean. He’s instantly Von Miller’s understudy, and the 1-2-3 punch of Von Miller, Tremaine Edmunds, and Nakobe Dean is scary. It makes all the sense in the world for Detroit to go qb at 32 (as opposed to two picks later at 34 in the second round), as they can lock in the team-controlled 5th year option.

Stay tuned tomorrow folks for my final mock, plus our Draft Day Drinking Game. Cheers!

Mock Draft 2.0 (Ginger King)

What a difference a week makes. Some big changes in the draft board, as teams look to fill voids through free agency. There has been quite the qb carousel. Deshaun, Russ, Matty Ice, and Carson all have new homes. Tom Brady back in Tampa (for now). And poor Baker Mayfield is left sending mix tapes to NFL teams. Baker’s a DUI away from fulfilling his destiny as Johnny Manziel 2.0. Speaking of Johnny Football, he seems to be doing just fine.

Anyway, all this does is drive the market up for this years’ qb class, as 5 teams in the Top 10 could use a new signal caller, with some lurkers farther down. We use the NFL Mock Draft Database for our mock draft needs.

No change at the top. Aidan should go first overall, either to the Jags (or, if you love rumors, Detroit). If the Lions don’t trade up, I could see them taking Malik. They’re a sneaky team that needs a qb…although it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise if you watched Jared Goff at all last season. I know Carolina needs OL help…but if Rhule wants to keep his job, he needs to draft a qb. I’m hearing lots of rumors that Thibodeaux is sliding…I would not be surprised to see him fall out of the Top 10 entirely.

The floor for Sauce is the Vikings, who would be ecstatic if he were there at 12. One name moving up the boards is Jermaine Johnson. If the Texans miss out on Malik, I think they’ll think long and hard about a qb at 13. Jordan Davis makes a ton of sense for Philly…instant succession planning from Fletcher Cox, who’s entering his 10th year in the league.

The Chargers are in a prime position to draft Williams. He doesn’t need to come in right away, and can take time to fully heal from his (Top 10 stealing) injury. Late round offensive lineman are never the sexiest pick, but Penning and Linderbaum are going to makes teams happy. Green Bay has to pick a receiver, or Karen Rodgers is going straight to the manager.

The Bills respond to Miami’s acquisition of Tyreek Hill by drafting Andrew Booth. Booth is arguably the most press-ready corner in the draft, and with Booth and a healthy Tre’Davious White, Buffalo’s secondary would instantly become tops in the league, and they’ll need it, especially when Tom Brady comes back into the AFC East. Free agency is still going to affect the draft. If (read: when) Kansas City trades for James Bradberry, their need to draft secondary help evaporates. One man’s pro-day injury is another team’s treasure, as Detroit could be in a prime position to draft Ojabo, and he, coupled with Malik, could be the offensive and defensive cornerstones for the Lions to build around.

Mock Draft 1.0 (Ginger King)

All the loyal readers of the Big Red Sports Machine are probably shaking their heads right now, saying, “GK, you’ve always told us to avoid the pre-free agency mock draft. I mean, you’ve left us voice messages saying it’s fictionalized, masturbatory garbage, designed only for click bait purposes, and that we’re lesser people for falling for it. Is it time for you to start putting mocks out now?” The answer, loyal reader, is yes. It’s time. America needs all the mock drafts it can get. We need to take our minds off of crippling inflation, soaring gas prices, and World War III, and oh yeah, that pandemic thing. I’m sure all that stuff will work itself out.

However, your point is well taken, and you should take this (and every other mock right now) with a HUGE grain of salt. There are some major pieces still floating around (Deshaun Watson, Amari Cooper, etc.) which will heavily impact the draft. But for now, let’s ignore the hellscape of our world and dive into this mock. We use the NFL Mock Draft Database for our mock draft needs.

This looks like a solid Top 8 for me, with each team getting need and value. With the Jags placing the franchise tag on Cam Robinson (again), that’s a clear signal they’re going defense, and Hutchinson gets the nod over Thibodeaux, based on collegiate production and scheme. At Michigan, he played in a pro-style defense. He is ready to come in and be an instant impact player. The Jags won’t screw up this pick, but will probably screw up his development, which is a very Jag thing to do (looking at you, Trevor).

Book this: Malik Willis will be a Top 10 pick. The question is where. His ceiling starts at 2, and goes no lower than 9. If (read: when) Deshaun Watson gets traded, he’s for sure in play at 3. If not, Carolina has to take him. After the Sam Darnold experience, Matt Rhule needs a QB1 to keep his job.

Giants would love it if Ekwonu is there at 4. Both of their picks should address the line. If you see a mock that has them drafting a receiver or quarterback, stop reading immediately. Daboll and co. are going to build this team the right way, and that starts with the line and outward.

Atlanta taking Wilson at 8 makes too much sense. Anyone want to bet on it?

If Seattle misses out on Malik Wilson, look for them to re-start the Legion of Boom with the best corner in the draft. The Jets are in a great spot with two picks in the Top 10. They could go OL at 4, but there’s good depth at OL, so that allows them to grab Hamilton at 4 and address the line at 10. Washington’s a spot where we could see another qb come off the board, but with Carson Wentz coming back to the NFC East, Washington can address other needs. Philly gets two absolute maulers. Linderbaum is getting devalued because he plays center, but he’s the best offensive lineman in the draft.

The back end of the first round is where we can see some other qbs coming off the board. Corral to New Orleans makes a ton of sense, and I think Pittsburgh is locked in on Pickett and his freakishly small hands. Devin Lloyd, Nakobe Dean, and George Karlaftis are all Top 15 talent, but the OL depth is going to push these guys down.

Whoever draft Jameson Williams is going to get an absolute stud. He would’ve been the top WR taken if he didn’t tear his ACL in the National Championship Game (another reason turf sucks) but he should bounce back to form. It’s worth the risk for the Bills, and when paired with Diggs will give the Bills a one-two combo that harkens back to the Reed/Lofton era.

With Green Bay resigning Karen Rodgers, this pick has to be a receiver. Likewise, the Bengals have to go offensive line, and protect Joe Burrow. Jared Goff is clearly not the long term (or short term) answer in Detroit, so they would be wise to grab Ridder here.