FINAL Mock Draft (Ginger King)

Round 1 TeamPick
1Arizona CardinalsKyler Murray (Oklahoma)QB
2San Francisco 49ers Nick Bosa (OSU)DE
3New York JetsQuinnen Williams
(Alabama)
DL
4Oakland RaidersDevin White (LSU) LB
5Tampa Bay BucsJosh Allen (Kentucky) EDGE
6New York Giants Ed Oliver (Houston) DL
7Jacksonville Jaguars Jawaan Taylor (Florida)OL
8Detroit LionsT.J. Hockenson (Iowa) TE
9Buffalo BillsJonah Williams (Alabama)OL
10Denver BroncosDrew Lock (Missouri)QB
11Cincinnati BengalsBrian Burns (Florida St.) EDGE
12Green Bay PackersAndre Dillard (Wash St.) OL
13Miami DolphinsChristian Wilkins (Clemson) DE
14Atlanta FalconsDevin Bush (Michigan) DL
15Washington 
Redskins
Dwayne Haskins (Ohio St.) QB
16Carolina PanthersMontez Sweat (Miss State) EDGE
17New York GiantsDaniel Jones (Duke)QB
18Minnesota VikingsGarrett Bradbury (N.C. State) OL
19Tennessee TitansCody Ford (Oklahoma) OL
20Pittsburgh SteelersGreedy Williams (LSU) CB
21Seattle SeahawksRashaan Gary (Michigan) DE
22Baltimore RavensClelin Ferrell (Clemson) DE
23Houston TexansErik McCoy (Texas A&M)OL
24Oakland RaidersJosh Jacobs (Alabama)RB
25Philadelphia EaglesMarquise Brown
(Oklahoma)
WR
26Indianapolis ColtsDexter Lawrence
(Clemson)
DL
27Oakland RaidersNoah Fant (Iowa) TE
28L.A. ChargersRock Ya-Sin (Temple)CB
29Seattle SeahawksByron Murphy
(Washington)
CB
30Green Bay PackersJonathon Abram
(Miss St.)
S
31L.A. RamsChris Lindstrom
(Boston College)
OL
32New England 
Patriots
N’Keal Harry (Arizona St.)WR

Final Analysis: Our final mock before the big event. There’s some late banter that Arizona will not take Murray, but I think they have to at this point, especially after the hype video they released last week for the upcoming season where Rosen was included. Unless Rosen has been in on the ruse this whole time, which would make this the Greatest. Smokescreen. Ever. It’s a good thing there will be no cameras on Rosen tonight, because it’s going to be awkward AF – I’m talking Aaron Rodgers green room awkward – once the Cardinals take Murray. Good luck trying to get a first for Rosen, Arizona.

One name that keeps rising is T.J. Hockenson, the do-it-all Tight End from Iowa. There’s rumors a few teams in the Top 10 are enamored with him, including Jacksonville, Detroit, and Buffalo. He would also make a ton of sense in Green Bay. If Detroit gets a little scared about Montez Sweat’s heart condition, they could pull a little bit of a shocker and grab T.J. at 8.

Speaking of Bills Mafia, I think they’re going to do something different for a change and not reach for a need position [cough, J.P. Losman, cough, E.J. Manuel, cough, Leodis McKelvin] and instead let talent be the driver. That would be Jonah Williams, whom I think is the best offensive lineman in the Draft, and also happens to fill a need for Buffalo. The Bills need to protect Josh Allen, on the field and on Twitter. Jonah can at least help with one of those things.

Regarding New York’s real team, I think the Giants will end tonight with a new quarterback on their roster, and I think that quarterback will be Daniel Jones or Josh Rosen. Ideally, the Giants would use both their first round picks on defense (which was and still is their biggest weakness), and then try to get back into the First Round and take Jones (or trade their second round pick for Rosen). But that may be too much of a gamble for the G-Men to take, especially with rumblings that teams ahead of them, like Washington, have Jones on their radar. The Giants would rush the podium if Ed Oliver is still there at 6. Aaron Donald 2.0.

Also, get ready for a bunch of trades tonight. I think there’s some teams that would love to drop back a few spots and collect some additional picks. Don’t be surprised if a team like Washington makes a move to the Top 10 to grab a qb, to get ahead of teams like Denver and Cincy that may be looking at signal callers.

Buckle up, it’s going to be a wild ride tonight!

BRSM’s Draft Day Drinking Game (2019 ed.)

Cheers!

Can’t make it to The Machine’s Draft Day Party?  Well, that sucks for you.  But have no fear…we got your back.  “How can I make the Draft better?”, you ask yourself in amazement.  By playing The Big Red Sports Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game.  It’s fun, it’s easy, guaranteed to impress the ladies, and you can play at home or at your favorite watering hole.  Here are the rules:

1. Draft catchphrases.  There are certain phrases you only hear during the Draft.  Why?  We don’t know, but we love them.  For this reason alone, we give ESPN the slight lean over the NFL Network for your Draft Day coverage.  That, and, Kiper.  Duh, winning!

The following phrases are worth a shot of beer:

  • Raw talent
  • Off-the-field issues
  • Live arm
  • High motor
  • Straight line speed
  • Great Value/Upside
  • Dual threat
  • System quarterback
  • Pocket presence
  • Plays in the box (hey oh!)
  • Best player available
  • Intangibles or Measurables
  • War Room
  • New Regime
  • Edge Rusher
  • Gets to the Second Level
  • Quick feet
  • Plays in Space

New for 2019:

  • Silky hips
  • Thick frame
  • Backside protector (hey oh!)

2.  Videos/references.  Each of these are beer-finishing worthy:

  • Reference to Mel’s hair
  • Player on-stage photo-op with family/entourage of 15+
  • First shot of Drew Rosenhaus in his newest client’s living room
  • First player to cry when their name is called
  • Reference to when Tom Brady was drafted (we’ll also accept Brady’s Combine picture)
  • Reference to Aaron Rodgers draft day slide
  • Video of Brady Quinn in the green room
  • Video of Bill Tobin’s infamous “who the hell is Mel Kiper?” interview during the ’94 Draft
  • And this:

3.  On the Clock Chug.  When your team is on the clock, you have to finish a full beer before the pick is called.  Note:  if your team trades down, they’re on the clock twice, meaning two full beers.  Cowboy up, it’s the Draft!

Basically, if it doesn’t look like this, you’re doing it wrong…..

Beer Chug

Or this:

Beer Chug 2
Party with The Machine!

BRSM Exclusive: NFL Draft Prospect – Tyler Swart, QB, Missouri S&T

Scouting Profile:
Tyler Swart – QB, Missouri S&T Miners
6’4″, 260 lbs
Great Lakes Valley Conference

2018 Stats:  212/331, 2,936 yards, 29 tds, 10 ints
2018 Record:  10-2 (Mineral Water Bowl Champions)
Bowl Game Stats:  13/22, 212 yards, 4 tds, 0 ints, 1 rushing td
School Records: Attempts, Completions, Completion %, Yards, and Touchdowns

Tyler Swart’s been chasing the dream of playing professional football for a long time.  His family moved from New York to Texas (a/k/a the Mecca of High School Football) when Tyler was in high school in order to give him a better opportunity. And the move paid off. After a prolific career at Division II Missouri Science & Tech, where he set several school passing records, and which culminated in a convincing 51-16 win in the Mineral Water Bowl over Minnesota State-Moorhead, Tyler is keeping the dream alive, and working to get to the next level.  But first, he faces his biggest challenge yet:  an interview with the Big Red Sports Machine.  We fired up the Big Red Sports Machine conference call to talk with Tyler about his career and what lies ahead.

Tyler, congrats on an amazing collegiate career.  Talk to us a little about your journey.

Thank you.  I loved it, and wouldn’t change a thing.  I felt that, me personally and as a team, we fought through a lot of adversity.  When I first came to Missouri S&T, the coach that originally recruited me left, and a new coaching staff came in.  I had to work to gain their trust and confidence, which was an unexpected challenge for me and my teammates.  But I enjoyed every minute of it.

What made you pick Missouri S&T?

I had offers from a few schools, some DI and DII programs, but my other passion besides football is engineering, specifically petroleum engineering, and I wanted to find a school that could further both my playing and academic needs, and Missouri S&T was the perfect fit. 

Who would you say your game compares to at the pro level?

Probably Big Ben.  He’s a big guy, but has shown himself to be mobile when needed, very durable and dependable.  I’m kind of built like him—my teammates call me Big Swart—and I’ve watched a lot of tape of him and tried to model my game after him, everything from his footwork to his arm mechanics. 

What are you up to now?

Well, I graduated this past December (with a BA in Petroleum Engineering, minor in Geology), and since then I’m still in Missouri, working out with the team and helping to prepare myself and other teammates to get a shot at the next level.

What’s been the interest level so far?

I was invited to an NFL pro day in Kansas City back in March.  That experience was incredible.  This weekend, I’ll be at a pro day for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers in the CFL.  There’s also some potential in the Arena League and in Europe. 

Basically, you want to keep that dream alive?

Absolutely.  I would love to play in the NFL, but really I just want any opportunity to play and show that I can contribute at a professional level. 

Best of luck to you Tyler.  If you ever want to make zero dollars, you can come work for the Big Red Sports Machine.

[Laughs]  Thanks, guys.  But I think I’ll stick with football and Petroleum Engineering. 

Let’s go to the Tape:

We’ve watched some tape on Tyler, and are impressed.  There are shades of Big Ben in his game.  He’s got good pocket awareness, anticipates the rush, moves well, throws well on the run, and when he sets his feet and has time, can rocket the ball down the field.  Tyler’s favorite throw is the 15-yard out, and it shows on film.  Check out the highlights at 40 seconds and 1:50…those are pro level plays. Tyler’s challenge will be getting the opportunity.  There are surprising number of DII players in the NFL…82 suited up last year, led by Malcolm Butler (West Alabama) and Adam Thielen (Minnesota State).  Of the 82, though, 0 were quarterbacks.  However, the Eagles just signed former DII (and AAF) quarterback Luis Perez last week, which, as Tyler noted, gives hope that the dream is still alive. 

Mock Draft 4.0 (Ginger King)

Round 1 Team Pick
1 Arizona Cardinals Kyler Murray (Oklahoma) QB
2 San Francisco 49ers Nick Bosa (OSU) DE
3 New York Jets Josh Allen (Kentucky) EDGE
4 Oakland Raiders Devin White (LSU) LB
5 Tampa Bay Bucs Montez Sweat (Miss State) EDGE
6 New York Giants Quinnen Williams
(Alabama)
DL
7 Jacksonville Jaguars Jawaan Taylor (Florida) OL
8 Detroit Lions Rashaan Gary (Michigan) DE
9 Buffalo Bills Ed Oliver (Houston) DL
10 Denver Broncos Drew Lock (Missouri) QB
11 Cincinnati Bengals Dwayne Haskins (Ohio St.) QB
12 Green Bay Packers TJ Hockenson (Iowa) TE
13 Miami Dolphins Clelin Ferrell (Clemson) DE
14 Atlanta Falcons Christian Wilkins (Clemson) DL
15 Washington
Redskins
D.K. Metcalf (Ole Miss) WR
16 Carolina Panthers Jonah Williams (Alabama) OL
17 New York Giants Brian Burns (FSU) EDGE
18 Minnesota Vikings Cody Ford (Oklahoma) OL
19 Tennessee Titans Andre Dillard (Wash St.) OL
20 Pittsburgh Steelers AJ Brown (Ole Miss) WR
21 Seattle Seahawks Byron Murphy
(Washington)
CB
22 Baltimore Ravens Devin Bush (Michigan) LB
23 Houston Texans Chris Lindstrom
(Boston College)
OL
24 Oakland Raiders Josh Jacobs (Alabama) RB
25 Philadelphia Eagles Marquise Brown
(Oklahoma)
WR
26 Indianapolis Colts Greedy Williams (LSU) CB
27 Oakland Raiders Dexter Lawrence
(Clemson)
DL
28 L.A. Chargers Daniel Jones (Duke) QB
29 Kansas City Chiefs Parrish Campbell
(Ohio St.)
WR
30 Green Bay Packers Jonathon Abram
(Miss St.)
S
31 L.A. Rams Jeffrey Simmons
(Miss St.)
DL
32 New England
Patriots
Noah Fant (Iowa) TE

Mock Draft 3.0 (Ginger King)

We’re inside 3 weeks!  Time to get excited.  Also, it’s time to fully open the kimono.  Here’s our complete Round 1.    

Round 1 Team Pick
1 Arizona Cardinals Kyler Murray (Oklahoma) QB
2 San Francisco 49ers Nick Bosa (OSU) DE
3 New York Jets Quinnen Williams
(Alabama)
DL
4 Oakland Raiders Josh Allen (Kentucky) EDGE
5 Tampa Bay Bucs Devin White (LSU) LB
6 New York Giants Rashaan Gary (Michigan) DE
7 Jacksonville Jaguars Jawaan Taylor (Florida) OL
8 Detroit Lions Montez Sweat (Miss St.) EDGE
9 Buffalo Bills Andre Dillard (Wash St.) OL
10 Denver Broncos Drew Lock (Missouri) DL
11 Cincinnati Bengals Dwayne Haskins (Ohio St.) QB
12 Green Bay Packers Ed Oliver (Houston) DL
13 Miami Dolphins Clelin Ferrell (Clemson) DL
14 Atlanta Falcons Christian Wilkins
(Clemson)
DL
15 Washington Redskins Greedy Williams (LSU) CB
16 Carolina Panthers Jonah Williams (Alabama) OL
17 New York Giants Daniel Jones (Duke) QB
18 Minnesota Vikings Cody Ford (Oklahoma) OL
19 Tennessee Titans TJ Hockenson (Iowa) TE
20 Pittsburgh Steelers D.K. Metcalf (Ole Miss) WR
21 Seattle Seahawks Byron Murphy
(Washington)
CB
22 Baltimore Ravens Devin Bush (Michigan) LB
23 Houston Texans Chris Lindstrom
(Boston College)
OL
24 Oakland Raiders Dexter Lawrence
(Clemson)
DL
25 Philadelphia Eagles Josh Jacobs (Alabama) RB
26 Indianapolis Colts Brian Burns (FSU) EDGE
27 Oakland Raiders Deandre Baker (Georgia) CB
28 L.A. Chargers Rock Ya-Sin (Temple) CB
29 Kansas City Chiefs Parrish Campbell (Ohio St.) WR
30 Green Bay Packers AJ Brown (Ole Miss) WR
31 L.A. Rams Jeffrey Simmons (Miss St.) DL
32 New England
Patriots
Noah Fant (Iowa) TE
You work out, bro?

Instant Analysis:  One of the hardest people to place in the draft is DK Metcalf.  DK absolutely owned the Combine (4.3 40!, 27 reps at 225!) and he also owns a lot of muscles (see above).  But does any fan base want him?  Despite the monstrous Combine, the tape is inconsistent.  Doesn’t create much separation, more straight line speed than football speed.  Also, his 1.6% body fat, while impressive, seems too low, and could make him too prone to injury.  Remember David Boston?  Notwithstanding, someone’s taking him in the first round, and he could go as high as 9 to the Bills, or 22 to the Ravens.  He makes a lot of sense to the Steelers at 19, who need to reload after losing their entire offense Antonio Brown and Le’Veon Bell.

Elsewhere, Oakland has 3 first round picks, and they use all three to re-tool their defense.  If they end up with Josh Allen, Dexter Lawrence and Deandre Baker, they’ll get three instant starters, and with the signing of Antonio Brown, trading Khalil Mack and Amari Cooper doesn’t look so crazy.  It’s like Chucky has a plan.

And New England gets a happy ending at the end of the first with Noah Fant, who will try to fill the Gronk void…until Gronk comes back mid-season. 

Mock Draft 2.0 (Ginger King)

One week closer, time to update the Mock Draft.  Some new faces (and quarterbacks) in the Top 10.  Here’s the Top half of Round 1.

Round 1 TeamPlayer
1Arizona CardinalsKyler Murray (Oklahoma)QB
2San Francisco 49ersNick Bosa (OSU)DE
3New York JetsQuinnen Williams (Alabama)DL
4Oakland RaidersJosh Allen (Kentucky)Edge
5Tamp Bay BucsDevin White (LSU)LB
6New York GiantsRashaan Gary (Michigan)DE
7Jacksonville JaguarsJawaan Taylor (Florida)OL
8Detroit LionsChristian Wilkins (Clemson)DL
9Buffalo BillsAndre Dillard (Washington)OL
10Denver BroncosDrew Lock (Missouri)QB
11Cincinnati BengalsDevin Bush (Michigan)LB
12Green Bay PackersD.K. Metcalf (Ole Miss)WR
13Miami DolphinsDwayne Haskins (OSU)QB
14Atlanta FalconsEd Oliver (Houston)DL
15Washington RedskinsGreedy Williams (LSU)CB
16Carolina PanthersJonah Williams (Alabama)OL
17New York GiantsMontez Sweat (Miss St.)DE
Latest Mile High Savior.

Instant Analysis:  A new quarterback cracks the Top 10.  Drew Lock is climbing up the draft boards, and some people think he’ll leapfrog Dwayne Haskins.  He seems to be a good fit for Denver, and Elway is high on him…although he was also high on Brock Osweiler…and Paxton Lynch…and Trevor Siemian…and Case Keenum.  Wait, are you saying former players make for lousy front office executives?  Yes, I am.

Mock Draft 1.0 (Ginger King)

[NFL fan, could be you]:  Where the Hell have you guys been?  Aren’t you guys a little late to the draft party?  I’ve seen tons of mock drafts already.  How come you guys haven’t put one out yet?  Kiper already has, like, 20 out.  What’s wrong with you guys? 

[Ginger King]:  While we appreciate the mock draft enthusiasm, note this:  mock drafts before free agency are absolute horseshit.  Don’t believe me?  Look at this tweet:

citing our own Tweets…so meta.

My kids don’t know their street address (or an emergency contact number), but they do know this:  Free agency shapes the draft.  Period.  How many (pre-free agency) mock drafts did you see with Jacksonville taking a quarterback?  All of them.  You think that’s happening now that they just signed Nick Foles and his (allegedly) ginormous trouser snake?  Da Raiders just signed Antonio Brown (and Tyrell Williams).  You think they’re going to draft a receiver with any of their three (3!) first round picks???  [side note: laugh all you want at Gruden and his questionable coaching decisions…but they just acquired the game’s best receiver for a bag of chips, AND have three first round draft picks].  I’m Team Chucky on this. 

And LOL at that Kiper shit.  Our streak of more first round picks right than Kiper (and McShay) is guaranteed to continue.  Book it.

Anyway, here’s my Top 10…just the tip for now…it costs extra to see my full mock (believe me, my full mock is HUGE.  The best.).  Anyway, enjoy St. Patrick’s Day (fucking amateur hour) and make sure to celebrate it the right way (blind drunk).  As soon as Roid Rage gets out of his Leprechaun costume, he’ll post his Top 10. 

Round 1 Team Pick
1 Arizona Cardinals Kyler Murray (Oklahoma) QB
2 San Francisco 49ers Nick Bosa (OSU) DE
3 New York Jets Quinnen Williams (Alabama)DL
4 Oakland Raiders Josh Allen (Kentucky) Edge
5 Tampa Bay Bucs D.K. Metcalf (Ole Miss) WR
6 New York Giants Montez Sweat (Miss State) DE
7 Jacksonville Jaguars Rashaan Gary (Michigan) DE
8 Detroit Lions Christian Wilkins (Clemson) DL
9 Buffalo Bills Jawaan Taylor (Florida) OL
10 Denver Broncos Ed Oliver (Houston) DL
I’m this big!

Instant Analysis:  If you were to ask me one week ago, I would have told you the Kyler Murray to Arizona talk was a total smokescreen.  Now…call me naïve…but I’m totally buying this.  Sure, Arizona traded up in last year’s draft to get their quarterback of the future in Josh Rosen…but that was soooo last year.  New Coach new quarterback.  Simply put:  Kyler’s Kliff Kingbury’s guy, and if we know anything about Kliff Kingsbury, it’s that he picks the right partners.

Good eye for talent.

San Francisco should take about 1 second to get to the podium, as Nick Bosa is an absolute no brainer.  I also think Quinnen Williams and Josh Allen are no brainers as well.  Things will get interesting at 5.  Tampa could go in a number of directions, but this is Jameis’ last stand, and pairing D.K. with Mike Evans would be a solid 1-2 punch (or at least enough cover for the front office to draft Tua next year). 

Speaking of a number of directions, the Giants are at 6 and everyone is screaming qb.  However, David Gettelman has a plan, and that plan involves re-building with a 38-year-old quarterback.  This pick (and their other first round pick) will be defense, as the Giants finally remember a long-forgotten football mantra:  Defense (and Saquon Barkley) wins championships.  I also think the Giants will trade for Josh Rosen.  His price will only go down the closer you get to the Draft, so hold tight G-Men.

Rounding out the rest of the Top 10, the Bills luck out by the run on defensive players and grab the best tackle in the draft with Jawaan Taylor.

Also, this Top 10 assumes no trades.  No way that’s going to happen.  If Dwayne Haskins slips past the Giants, there’s a good chance a qb needy team like Miami or Washington sneak in to the Top 10. 

Why the Patriots will win the Super Bowl

Let’s get it on!

Hi friends.  We’re back at it with full Super Bowl coverage.  Roid Rage will try to explain to you why the Rams will win the Super Bowl (you know, the team that doesn’t even belong there and has Todd Gurley at 60% health).  Good luck with that.  I don’t care how hot Sean McVay’s girlfriend is (which, for the record, is really hot), not even that will stop me from going with what we all know, whether we want to admit it:  the New England Patriots will win the Super Bowl.

But Ginger King, isn’t this a departure from your normal, anti-everything New England (except chowder, that shit’s delicious).  Yes, but I forgot to tell you my New Year’s resolution:

Embrace Evil.

Evil begets evil

Yes.  With Sith blood flowing freely through my veins, I can finally recognize and appreciate the greatness of the best football dynasty of all time.  It’s an unprecedented level of success.  Since the turn of the century, the Patriots have won the AFC East 16 times (including 10 in a row) with 5 Super Bowls.  All with the same Coach, same quarterback, and same plug and play receivers and cornerbacks.

I’m even moved by Tom Brady’s hype video:

View this post on Instagram

If you happen to be lucky…

A post shared by Tom Brady (@tombrady) on

The Patriots have been so good, for so long, that they need to invent their own problems.  TB12, Deflategate, awkwardly long mouth to mouth kisses with your children…the Patriots are that bored that they need to make shit up.  And here’s the latest:  that they’re the underdog.

Hands of an underdog.

Seriously.  Is anyone buying this?  Vegas was, for a hot second, when the Patriots were underdogs to Kansas City, you know, the new, high scoring team with a hot shot young quarterback (sound familiar?).  Well, that didn’t last long, and it didn’t take long for the Patriots to acknowledge it either.  The New England smugness was in full effect, just minutes after the AFC Championship Game.

And why were the Patriots thought of as underdogs, you ask?  Because [putting tinfoil hat on] they manufactured that message, too.  Yes, with a somewhat pedestrian regular season (by Patriot standards), the Patriots crafted this story line that they’re the underdogs.  That they don’t have the firepower they used to.  A muted Gronk.  That they’re too old, and a shell of their former selves.  Well, don’t believe it for a second.  Let’s break this down, shall we.

They don’t have the firepower they used to.

FALSE.  In fact, they have more firepower this year than last year.  Two words:  Julian Edleman.  Julian may not be thought of as one of the best receivers in the league, but that’s only because you’re not thinking hard enough.  Come playoff time, his numbers are HOF worthy.  Edleman is second in all-time playoff receptions (behind Jerry Rice) and only needs 45 yards to be second in all-time receiving yards (again, behind Jerry Rice).  And he didn’t play in the Super Bowl last year, as he was out with a knee injury.  With a healthy Edleman, Brady has his do everything receiver back.  And you heard it hear first:  Edleman will throw a touchdown pass.  We’re calling this the Patriot Special (suck it, Philly).

Muted Gronk

FALSE.  Sure, our favorite meathead/future Celebrity Big Brother had a career low 3 tds, a depressing 47 receptions, and oftentimes looked slow and broken down this season (check out the Miami Miracle and you’ll see what I mean).  But when it mattered, Gronk delivered.  Gronk went 6/79 against Kansas City.  Not spectacular, but he came through in the clutch.  On their game-winning overtime drive, 3rd and 10, Brady went to Gronk, who delivered on a 15-yard reception.  That was Brady’s last pass of the game.  And get this:  Gronk was targeted a team high (and season high) 11 times.  Translation:  Gronk’s Tide pod and Monster fueled body still has some gas in the tank.  And it comes at the right time, against the right team.

Chest bumps for everyone!

As tough as the Rams D is, they are vulnerable to tight ends.  During their Week 11 game against Kansas City, Travis Kelce went 10/127/1, with a team high 15 targets.  Gronk will present the same type of matchup dilemma.  It’s a matchup the Patriots will exploit, and Gronk should flourish, especially when lined out wide against a db.  Look for Gronk to lead the Patriots in targets (and fist bumps).

Too Old

FALSE.  This one’s hilarious.  The Patriots suffer from late 90’s/early 00’s Yankees syndrome (don’t say that in Boston, btw).  They’ve been so good, for so long, with such an obnoxious fucking fanbase, that everyone can’t wait for the next best thing to come along.  And that shiny new toy is the Rams…the new team in a new city with the youngest head coach in the NFL.  Sean McVay just turned 33 on Thursday (son of a bitch).  Bill Belichick is literally twice his age.  Jared Goff.  Todd Gurley.  Aaron Donald.  The next dynasty, generation of studs, best hope to beat the Patriots.

Yes, the millennials are here and, unlike every other scenario involving millennials, the whole country is rooting for them.  All of a sudden, the game has passed by the old ball coach.  The hoodie is old news.  Brady’s lost it.  Gronk’s lost it.  The dynasty is over.  Correction;  the dynasty is almost over.  Like Bobby Bacala, Sr. in the Sopranos, Belichick’s got one more hit in him.  One more trick up his sleeve.  They’re just that good.  Look for Bellichick to out-McVay, McVay, and call the games first trick play (e.g., fake fg/punt, trick play).

Think about the head to head comparisons.

Coaching:  Patriots

Quarterback:  Patriots

Receivers:  Patriots

Running Backs:  Push, although I can make a pretty good case this too should be the Patriots.  Sorry, but there’s no way Todd Gurley is at 100% and the Rams’ offensive strategy is to lean on CJ Anderson.  Not buying it.  Gurley had 4 carries for 10 yards against the Saints.  The Rams had 1 rushing touchdown against the Saints, and only 4 rushing touchdowns in the playoffs.  Contrast that with the Patriots, who have had 8 rushing touchdowns in the playoffs, led by rookie stud Sony Michel, who has had 5 rushing touchdowns…more than the entire Rams.

Defense:  Rams, but it’s a lot closer than you think.  The Rams are 31st –that’s right, second to last in the league – at points allowed per game, giving up over 32 points a game.  The Rams and Patriots are tied with 18 interceptions each, and the Patriots have caused more fumbles.  Sure, I’m cherry picking stats to make my case, (let’s not look at sacks or Aaron Donald, ok) but everyone’s acting like this Rams D is the second coming of the ’85 Bears.  Puh-lease.  Not even close.  And while there’s only ever been one ejection in Super Bowl history, look for hot head and dick-stomper Ndamakung Suh to double that total.

Apologies to everyone west of Massachusetts, but come Super Bowl Sunday, evil will prevail.  Evil will also cover the spread, as I love the Patriots at -2.5.  Sorry Rams, your fickle fanbase will soon go back to surfing and LeBron, and will forget that there’s even a team in LA, let alone two.  And Tom Brady will hoist his 6th Super Bowl trophy and go back home to his supermodel wife.  Evil is good.

Patriots:  34, Rams 28

Book the parade.

2018 Fantasy Football Rankings – QB

GOAT*
*except against NFC East in the Super Bowl

Rank Player Team
1 Aaron Rodgers GB
2 Tom Brady NE
3 Drew Brees NO
4 Russell Wilson SEA
5 Mathew Stafford DET
6 Deshaun Watson HOU
7 Andrew Luck IND
8 Matt Ryan ATL
9 Phillip Rivers LAC
10 Cam Newton CAR
11 Kirk Cousins MIN
12 Ben Roethlisberger PIT
13 Carson Wentz PHI
14 Jared Goff LAR
15 Eli Manning NYG
16 Jimmy Garropolo SF
17 Marcus Mariota TEN
18 Derek Carr OAK
19 Dak Prescott DAL
20 Patrick Mahomes KC
21 Andy Dalton CIN
22 Alex Smith WAS
23 Case Keenum DEN
24 Ryan Tannehill MIA
25 Blake Bortles JAC
26 Sam Darnold NYJ
27 Sam Bradford ARI
28 Tyrod Taylor CLE
29 Mitchell Trubisky CHI
30 Joe Flacco BAL
31 Josh Allen BUF
32 Jamies Winston TB

2018 Fantasy Football Rankings – RB

Rank Player Team
1 Le’Veon Bell PIT
2 Todd Gurley LAR
3 Ezekiel Elliott DAL
4 David Johnson ARI
5 Saquon Barkley NYG
6 Alvin Kamara NO
7 Kareem Hunt KC
8 Melvin Gordon LAC
9 Leonard Fournette JAC
10 Devonta Freeman ATL
11 Christian McCaffrey CAR
12 Dalvin Cook MIN
13 LeSean McCoy BUF
14 Joe Mixon CIN
15 Jordan Howard CHI
16 Derrick Henry TEN
17 Jay Ajayi PHI
18 Marshawn Lynch OAK
19 Mark Ingram NO
20 Jerrick McKinnon SF
21 Lamar Miller HOU
22 Jamaal Williams GB
23 Rashaad Penny SEA
24 Dion Lewis TEN
25 Carlos Hyde CLE
26 Tevin Coleman ATL
27 Chris Carson SEA
28 Alex Collins BAL
29 Royce Freeman DEN
30 Kenyan Drake MIA
31 Corey Coleman PHI
32 Gio Bernard CIN
33 Isaiah Crowell NYJ
34 James White NE
35 LeGarrette Blount DET
36 Sony Michel NE
37 Marlon Mack IND
38 Devontae Booker DEN
39 Theo Riddick DET
40 Latavius Murray MIN
41 Ronald Jones TB
42 Chris Thompson WAS
43 Ty Montgomery GB
44 Duke Johnson CLE
45 Rex Burkhead NE
46 C.J. Anderson CAR
47 Rob Kelley WAS
48 Darren Sproles PHI
49 Doug Martin OAK
50 Jonathon Stewart NYG