FINAL MOCK DRAFT (GINGER KING)
Reply
BRSM’s Draft Day Drinking Game
Can’t make it to The Machine’s Draft Day Party? Well, that sucks for you. But have no fear: we got your back. “How can I make the Draft better?”, you ask yourself in amazement. By playing The Big Red Sports Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game. It’s fun, it’s easy, guaranteed to impress the ladies, and you can play at home or at your favorite watering hole. Here are the rules:
1. Draft catchphrases. There are certain phrases you only hear during the Draft. Why? We don’t know, but we love them. For this reason alone, we give ESPN the slight lean over the NFL Network for your Draft Day coverage. That, and, Kiper. Duh, winning!
The following phrases are worth a shot of beer:
- S2 Cognition Test (*new for 2023)
- Arm talent
- Off-the-field/Character issues
- Live arm
- High motor
- Straight line speed
- Great Value/Upside
- Dual threat
- System quarterback
- Pocket presence
- Best player available
- Intangibles or Measurables
- War Room
- New Regime
- Edge Rusher
- Gets to the Second Level
- Quick feet
- Plays in Space
- Silky hips
- Thick frame
- Plays in the box (hey oh!)
- Backside protector (hey oh!)
- Generational talent
- Hybrid
2. Videos/references. Each of these are beer-finishing worthy:
- Reference to Mel’s hair
- Any player to lift Goodell off the ground in their onstage Draft embrace
- First shot of Drew Rosenhaus in his newest client’s living room
- First player to cry when their name is called
- Reference to Aaron Rodgers draft day slide
- Video of Bill Tobin’s infamous “who the hell is Mel Kiper?” interview during the ’94 Draft
- And this:
3. On the Clock Chug. When your team is on the clock, you have to finish a full beer before the pick is called (shot of Jim Beam also acceptable). Note: if your team trades down, they’re on the clock twice, meaning two full beers/beamers. Cowboy up, it’s the Draft!
Basically, if it doesn’t look like this, you’re doing it wrong.
Or this:
Mock Draft 3.0 (Ginger King)
Happy Draft Eve! Our penultimate mock. Check back tomorrow for our final mock and our Draft Day Drinking Game, the perfect complement to your Draft night experience. Anyway, there are have been some big moves on the draft board, and big trades (welcome Mr. Rodgers to the Jets). Aaron, straight out of his darkness chamber, should have no problem relating to the average Jets fan (an overweight, beer-soaked guy from Long Island who’s perpetually pissed off). Good luck!
And the QB slide begins. There’s always misdirection and smokescreens with the Draft and player analysis. I think some of the time people are tired of writing the same thing, and are looking for ways to spice things up. Or teams will put out information hoping that it will cause a player to fall to them. That could be the case with C.J. Stroud, or people are staring to realize he played quarterback for Ohio St. Quick: name me a successful QB in the NFL from Ohio St. Ever. Terrelle Pryor? Troy Smith? Dwayne Haskins (RIP)? Bobby Hoying? Justin Fields may be the best, and the jury is still very much out on him. Truth is: Ohio St. sucks at producing quarterbacks that can play in the NFL. Perhaps more damning is the release of his S2 Cognition Test score, which was, putting it mildly, underwhelming. That could have teams nervous to invest a high pick. If Indy doesn’t take him at 4, I think he could fall out of the Top 10. Stay tuned.
Some noteworthy changes here. I’m hearing that New England is the floor for Bijan Robinson, especially if JSN is off the board. Also, I think the floor for Anthony Richardson is Seattle. That would be quite the first round for Seattle: restarting the Legion of Boom with Devon Weatherspoon, and drafting the quarterback who I think has the most upside in the Draft.
Welcome Hendon Hooker to the Show! While some qbs are sliding, Hendon is soaring. If Hooker didn’t tear his ACL last year, he would be in the conversation for first overall. We think he’s the most NFL ready quarterback in the Draft. Given the 5th year team option for first round picks, someone should take him at the end of the first round. It makes sense if that someone is Minnesota. He could sit for a year, which would allow him to fully heal from his injury, and allow Kirk Cousins to collapse in the post-season again. Elsewhere, if the Bills don’t pull off a trade for Hopkins, look for them to draft Zay Flowers, a speedy, slot receiver that will finally shut up free up space for Stefon Diggs.
Get some sleep. Big day tomorrow, kids.
Mock Draft 2.0 (Ginger King)
We’re inside one week. Time to get serious. We’ve drank a lot of beer and scrolled Twitter done a lot of research over the past few weeks getting ready for the big show. We’ll be posting updated mocks daily (fingers crossed) so check back to see the latest action.
The Panthers are dialed in on Bryce Young, who has seemed to distanced himself as the number one quarterback in the Draft, despite no games having been played. I think this just comes down to who’s the most NFL ready. I’ll take the guy who plays in the most NFL-style offense. #RollTide. In other news, Houston is screwed. They have to take a quarterback at 2. They cannot wait until 12 and hope one of the top 4 will fall.
Biggest mover is Bijan Robinson. He is soaring up Draft boards. I’m told he will be drafted in the top half of the first round.
Unless they decide to trade up, Tennessee will be biting their fingernails hoping a qb will fall to them at 11. I think the Jets will go back to the OL well. It won’t matter who plays quarterback if there’s no pocket to throw in. I’ve heard a lot of chatter that Detroit is in love with Calijah Kancey. I think the Lions will use both of their picks on defense. Prepare for a lot of kneecaps to be bitten.
Folks are starting to shade the receiving class…I still think 4 will go in the first round. And when you pair that with Michael Mayer and Dalton Kincaid (two pass-catching tight ends) the receiving class is not as bad as people make it out to be. If the Giants miss out on a receiver, their consolation prize should be Emmanuel Forbes, an absolute ball hawk who has speed (4.35/40) and size (6’1″), both of which are lacking in the Giants secondary. If rumors out of Buffalo are true (no, not the baby mama rumors) Buffalo will be set at receiver. I think they will go back to practical football 101, and look to improve the line. Here, it’s the defensive line with Bryan Bresee out of Clemson.
Mock Draft 1.0 (Ginger King)
Alright friends. It’s finally time. The adults are ready to sit at the Draft table. If you recall, our number one pet peeve (besides people clapping when the plane lands – FFS just stop – were you expecting the plane to crash??) is pre-free agency mock drafts. We’ve been saying it for YEARS.
Plain and simple: free agency shapes the draft. You think the Raiders are looking for a qb now that they got Jimmy Dreamboat? (sidenote: we’re still waiting for our free sex for life offer). Teams will first plug holes with existing talent, and then turn to the draft. Anyway, we’ll step off our soapbox and get right to the good stuff.
Four, yes four, qbs will go in the Top 10. Seattle could be in the market for a qb, but adding Christian Gonzalez to that secondary will go a long way to re-establishing the legion of boom. Chicago really lucks out…trading down 8 spots and still getting the guy the would’ve taken #1 overall. Ryan Poles and co. are looking smart. They got an assist from poor driving skills, but they are approaching this draft the right way.
If Paris Johnson falls out of the Top 11, he should not last past the Titans, who need to rebuild that line. Speaking of rebuilding the line, the Jets will take their turn (again) at another first round lineman. After trading away T.J. Hockenson last year, the Lions reload with Michael Mayer, the Draft’s best tight end (and Gronk clone).
The bottom third of the first round is where we’re going to see a run on receivers. There is no clear cut #1 in this year’s draft. That, and the qb run, will push the receivers down some. The Giants would do cartwheels if (and it’s a big if) Quentin Johnston is there at 25. What the Giants need is big-bodied receiver, especially after Kenny Golladay decided he didn’t like to catch anymore. But wait, didn’t the Giants sign a bunch of free agent receivers? Yes, but don’t be fooled…the Giants only have 2 receivers (Wan-Dale Robinson and Darius Slayton) that are signed for more than 2 years. Everyone else is a one year rental.
O’Cyrus Torrence may be our favorite player in the Draft. Seriously, go watch some game tape. He’s an absolute mauler. Loves to initiate contact. Physical and nasty…just like Bills Mafia. He’ll fit right in.
Bijan Robinson may be the toughest one to predict. He could go as high as 8. I don’t think Philly would pass at him at 30, especially after losing Miles Sanders.
FINAL Mock Draft (Roid Rage)
Get it!
BRSM’s Draft Day Drinking Game
Can’t make it to The Machine’s Draft Day Party? Well, that sucks for you. But have no fear…we got your back. “How can I make the Draft better?”, you ask yourself in amazement. By playing The Big Red Sports Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game. It’s fun, it’s easy, guaranteed to impress the ladies, and you can play at home or at your favorite watering hole. Here are the rules:
1. Draft catchphrases. There are certain phrases you only hear during the Draft. Why? We don’t know, but we love them. For this reason alone, we give ESPN the slight lean over the NFL Network for your Draft Day coverage. That, and, Kiper. Duh, winning!
The following phrases are worth a shot of beer:
- Raw talent
- Off-the-field/Character issues
- Live arm
- High motor
- Straight line speed
- Great Value/Upside
- Dual threat
- System quarterback
- Pocket presence
- Best player available
- Intangibles or Measurables
- War Room
- New Regime
- Edge Rusher
- Gets to the Second Level
- Quick feet
- Plays in Space
- Silky hips
- Thick frame
- Plays in the box (hey oh!)
- Backside protector (hey oh!)
- Generational talent
- Hybrid
2. Videos/references. Each of these are beer-finishing worthy:
- Reference to Mel’s hair
- Video of Goodell’s basement
- Player with matching suit and mask
- First shot of Drew Rosenhaus in his newest client’s living room
- First player to cry when their name is called
- Reference to when Tom Brady was drafted (we’ll also accept Brady’s Combine picture)
- Reference to Aaron Rodgers draft day slide
- Video of Bill Tobin’s infamous “who the hell is Mel Kiper?” interview during the ’94 Draft
- And this:
3. On the Clock Chug. When your team is on the clock, you have to finish a full beer before the pick is called (shot of Jim Beam also acceptable). Note: if your team trades down, they’re on the clock twice, meaning two full beers. Cowboy up, it’s the Draft!
Basically, if it doesn’t look like this, you’re doing it wrong.
Or this:
FINAL MOCK DRAFT (Ginger King)
No time for discussion. Dig in!
Mock Draft 2.0 (Roid Rage)
Yes, only Version 2.0…we’re only 5+ hours from the draft, plenty of time for last-minute adjustments and/or inflammatory social media posts/pictures aimed at dropping prospect grades. So, for now…
I guess we’ll hold serve with Walker, the betting favorite, to be selected by the Jags. The Texans draft protection for Davis Mills and whomever the selected #1 in next years draft. I can’t buy the Thibodeaux slide. He’s a solid player/prospect at a premium position and fills an enormous need for Gang Green. I think the Panthers would love to trade down a few spots, grab a second round pick (they don’t have a second or third round pick this year…. there’s a reason bad teams stay bad) and still pick one of the QBs. If they thought Mayfield or Jimmy-G were an upgrade to Darnold they’d already have made the move. They should be able to find an upgrade to OL on Day 3 (but there definitely isn’t a plug and play QB available that late). Derrick Stingley is my top corner and I’m sticking to it!
Really wasn’t expecting a Charles Cross slide, as I think he could could make a ton of sense for the Giant or Panthers, but that’s just how the board fell. Saints get a gift.
There are a ton of quality WR’s in this draft. Given the market recent that occurred this offseason, it makes sense to get cost controlled help at the position. Dallas quietly has a ton of needs (OL, DL, WR)…gotta love watching Jerry drive that franchise into the ground. Crash and burn.
The Bills prepare for life after Jordan Poyer (and Rachel Bush!). I don’t buy the Breece Hall love. Cine will player a joker role on defense this year, while taking a starting safety job in 2023.
This entire draft will be wild, but picks 24-32 will be all over the place. The Lions take advantage of the 5th year option and potential draft the best QB in this class. Low risk, high reward at pick 32.
Mock Draft 3.0 (Ginger King)
Happy Draft Eve! We’re almost there friends! One day away from injecting pure optimism into your fanbase, unless you’re a Browns fan. I probably have another mock (or two) in me before the show begins, so let’s get right to it.
There’s a huge movement for Travon Walker going #1 to the Jags. He’s now the betting favorite to go first overall, which is wild to think of, as this has been a two man race for sometime. I think that speaks more to the fact that there is no clear cut Alpha dog, but rather a solid group of really good players that are close in range and ability. I can easily make a case for 5 people to be the first pick, which I don’t think I’ve ever been able to say before. I can’t see Malik Willis making it past Carolina…and no, I’m not buying the Baker Mayfield rumors. No team is going to trade a meaningful draft pick for him, they’ll just wait until Cleveland releases him.
One thing I am buying: the Kayvon slide. Once thought of as the top pick in the draft, teams are reportedly turned off by his personality and are questioning his commitment to the game. With a fanbase made up of mostly people from Long Island, the Jets care very little about personality. Another thing I’m buying: the Jermaine Johnson rise. Don’t be surprised if he gets drafted ahead of Kayvon.
The first half of the draft will be dominated by the line, both offensive and defensive. The second half will see a run on complimentary pieces; namely corners and receivers. There are two things I know for sure: 1. Never eat at restaurant that serves ranch with chicken wings. 2. The Green Bay Packers will select a receiver. Jameson Williams is one of the hardest people to place in the draft, based on his recent injury (same for Ojabo, too). If some team’s medical staff gives him the all clear, he could go as high as 8.
Here me out, Buffalo. I know you want a receiver or corner, but at this point Burks, Williams, Booth, and McDuffie are gone, and you don’t want to reach. Instead, what you do is re-watch the National Championship game and look for the baddest man on the field. That would be Nakobe Dean. He’s instantly Von Miller’s understudy, and the 1-2-3 punch of Von Miller, Tremaine Edmunds, and Nakobe Dean is scary. It makes all the sense in the world for Detroit to go qb at 32 (as opposed to two picks later at 34 in the second round), as they can lock in the team-controlled 5th year option.
Stay tuned tomorrow folks for my final mock, plus our Draft Day Drinking Game. Cheers!