The Machine’s Draft Party – Join Us!

CheersWe’re two days away from the Draft, and the excitement is mounting!  What’s better than reading our mocks and visiting our site every day?  How about your chance to party with The Big Red Sports Machine during the Draft?  Think you can out Draft us?  Think you can out drink us?  Want Roid Rage to autograph your chest?  Well here’s your chance.

Draft 2014When:  Thursday, May 8, 2014 (note: if you didn’t know this was the date of the Draft, do not show up).

Time:  8:00 pm to ???

Where:  Wintonaire, 628 Winton Road, Rochester, NY (b/t Browncroft and Merchants)

This is your chance to Draft with the pros.  We’ll have drink specials, Machine-swag you can win, chicken wings, and much, much more!  It’s not confirmed yet, but Kate Upton will be making an appearance.  Other special guests include our degenerate friends and whatever cougar hits on Roid Rage.  You won’t want to miss that!

I get all my Draft info from The Big Red Sports Machine.

I get all my Draft info from The Big Red Sports Machine.

The Myth of the First Round Quarterback

Draft 2014

As the Draft approaches, The Machine smiles with delight.  Each year, the slate is wiped clean, each team is reborn, and the Draft begins the process of building your team into the next NFL powerhouse.  Hell, it’s even a good time to be a Jets fan.  It’s also a great time to test your knowledge of your team, and see how your mock matches up to the “experts”.

One common theme each year is that teams at the top of the Draft need to grab that franchise quarterback.  “New regime, new quarterback” is often thrown around.  But is that really true nowadays?  Is spending a first round pick on a quarterback a must?  Recent history would tell us otherwise.  Let’s look at The Machine’s uber-fancy chart of the last two years of playoffs teams, and where these quarterbacks were drafted.

2013

Team QB Round (pick)
Broncos Peyton Manning 1st (1)
Indy Andrew Luck 1st (1)
Carolina Can Newton 1st (1)
Kansas City Alex Smith 1st (1)
San Diego Philip Rivers 1st (4)
Green Bay Aaron Rodgers 1st (24)
New Orleans Drew Brees 2nd (32)
Cincinnati Andy Dalton 2nd (35)
San Fran Colin Kaepernick 2nd (36)
Philly Nick Foles 3rd (88)
Seahawks Russell Wilson 3rd (75)
Patriots Tom Brady 6th (199)

 

2012

Team QB Round (pick)
Broncos Peyton Manning 1st (1)
Indy Andrew Luck 1st (1)
Washington RGIII 1st (2)
Atlanta Matt Ryan 1st (3)
Baltimore Joe Flacco 1st (18)
Green Bay Aaron Rodgers 1st (24)
Cincinnati Andy Dalton 2nd (35)
San Fran Colin Kaepernick 2nd (36)
Seattle Russell Wilson 3rd (75)
Houston Matt Schaub 3rd (90)
Minnesota Joe Webb 6th (199)
Patriots Tom Brady 6th (199)

Over the last two years, having a first round QB gives you a 50% chance of making the playoffs.  That’s it.  Not really overwhelming odds, about the same odds The Machine has to date Kate Upton.  Obviously, much more goes into making the playoffs than having a first round quarterback…but that’s exactly our point.

Yeah, a 50% seems right.

Yeah, a 50% chance seems right.

Football is the ultimate team sport, and teams should be focused on building a balanced team, and valuing team positions (OL, DL, Secondary) over individual skill positions (QB, RB, WR).  Look no further than the reigning Super Bowl Champions, the Seattle Seahawks.  Seattle’s rise to Super Bowl Champion did not come on the arm of a first round QB or the hands of a legit #1 WR.  Instead, Seattle had a dominant offensive line that made Marshawn Lynch (a Buffalo Bills reject) a Top 5 RB, and gave Russell Wilson the time to throw to a collection of no name WRs.  And we all know about their punishing defense.

Also, of the QBs that were taken in the first round, the majority of them were taken #1 overall (Peyton, Cam, Andrew Luck).  These players were known to be can’t miss, franchise QBs.

So what does that tell us?  Unless there’s a can’t miss talent at QB, you’re better off addressing other needs, and waiting to draft a QB later.

Is anyone falling faster than Teddy?

Is anyone falling faster than Teddy?

Face of the franchise?  Another good decision by Johnny Football.

Face of the franchise? Another good decision by Johnny Football.

Now let’s apply that concept to this years’ Draft.  There are a lot of QB needy teams, including Houston, Jacksonville, Cleveland, Oakland, and Minnesota, all of whom have Top 10 picks in the Draft.  Here’s the list of the Top QBs:  Blake Bortles, Johnny Manziel, and Teddy Bridgewater.  None of these guys have the same pedigree or ranking as Peyton, Cam, or Andrew Luck, or even RGIII or Matt Ryan.  Simply put:  while some (or all) may turn into great QBs, you certainly can’t call any of them a can’t miss prospect.

What that has resulted in is a couple of things.  One, teams at the top of the first round are thinking twice about drafting a QB in the first.  Teddy Bridgewater, the consensus #1 pick three months ago, is now falling out of the first round…Johnny Football is also dropping.  Two, teams are looking at the next group of Quarterbacks in the class.

Jimmy's leading the Day 2 charge of QBs.

Jimmy’s leading the Day 2 charge of QBs.

Indeed, the focus has been shifted to the second and third rounds, and the buzz is now over guys like Derek Carr, Jimmy Garropolo, Tom Savage, Zack Mettenberger, and AJ McCarron.  People are looking for the next Russell Wilson, or Colin Kaepernick.  Logan Thomas and Tajh Boyd are also getting some attention.

 

Could this be the best QB in the Draft?

Could this be the best QB in the Draft?

Point is:  you don’t need a first round QB to have success in the NFL.  Don’t buy into the myth that you “need” to draft one in the first round.  The best QB in the Draft could be sitting there on Day 2.

Tuesday Teabag, April 29, 2014 – Donald Sterling

I got 99 problems...nope, now you got 100.

I got 99 problems…nope, now you got 100.

Come on, guys.  This one’s a no brainer.  Nice try Michael Pineda for your Pine Tar Neck trick…but oh no, this Teabag’s all Donald’s.  For those of you who need a refresher, our friends at Deadspin have the audio queued up for your listening pleasure.  It’s worth a listen. On the one hand, The Machine’s not surprised when anyone over the age of 60 makes a racist comment.  Being old is no excuse, but when you hear “80-year-old white guy doesn’t like the blacks”; it’s abhorrent, but not necessarily surprising.  However, when said 80 year old white guy happens to be the owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, well now you got a story.

Who would've thought this wouldn't last?

Who would’ve thought this wouldn’t last?

Donald was (can we stop using the word allegedly now?) recorded by his (now ex) girlfriend, essentially telling her to stop bringing black people to Clippers games and stop openly associated with them.  Huh?  How can someone who’s a multi-millionaire, a successful business owner, the owner of a professional sports team (whose players are predominantly minorities) and who received a lifetime achievement award from the NAACP, hold such bigoted views?  Why is he sharing said views with his (several) decades younger, mixed-race girlfriend?  How does one get a (several) decades younger mixed-race girlfriend?  Did he think that was going to end well? Answer to the above questions:  Money. Money can cure all evils (correction:  now that he’s banned for life from the NBA, money can cure most evils).

You see, here’s the thing about Donald Sterling:  his history of racism, sexual harassment, and general douch-bagedness is well documented.  Like here.  And here.  And here.  And here.  When he received the NAACP Lifetime Achievement Award in 2009, he paid a record $2.725 million to settle a housing discrimination lawsuit, where there were some pretty compelling allegations that he discriminated against minorities, particularly black families.  Why, and how, did he receive a Lifetime Achievement Award from the NAACP?  We believe the answer is also set forth above.  (Note to NAACP:  perhaps you should change your nominating criteria…just sayin’). But society simply could not tolerate this latest go-around.  Because of the audio evidence, and not some settlement agreement where the parties deny any liability but then pay a shit-ton of money, the NBA was forced had to act.  They simply could not turn another blind eye.  And there’s something about comeuppance for an Octogenarian that bangs models that just sits right with us.

Another question:  Does Donald give a shit?  He’s still rich as hell, and, if when the NBA forces him to sell the Clippers, he’ll make even more money.  And, he’ll still be able to find a (several) decades younger, hot girl to bang.  So, on that level, probably not.  But, for losing corporate sponsors, coupled with total public humiliation and disgrace, probably so.  A man who’s use to buying his way out of trouble can no longer do so.  That’s what The Machine thinks will kill him the most. Anyway, the NBA brought down the hammer on the Donald.  A lifetime ban.  That’s a steep price for one’s views.  But really, how long is that?  Dude’s 80.  And, let’s not fool ourselves to thinking this is over.  Do you think that Sterling’s going to go away quietly?  Do you think he’s afraid of protracted litigation?  If he’s smart, he just goes away.  But, if the last few days have told you anything, doing the right thing doesn’t exactly come natural to him.

Do you think he thinks he’s not a racist because he bangs minorities?  Do you think Thomas Jefferson thought that too?  Yeah, we just went there.

Our final thoughts:  As with most controversies, The Machine hates both extremes, and it’s no different here.   To the freedom of speech, First Amendment idiots (who are presumably Tea Partiers): shut up.  This has absolutely nothing to do with the First Amendment, and if you can’t understand why, well then you are hopeless.  And, for the record, even if it did involve the First Amendment, the First Amendment, and all the other freedoms enjoyed in the Bill of Rights, are not absolute.  Try yelling “bomb” in an airport and then assert your First Amendment Rights.

Also, for the people (mainly liberal media) crying that this should have been done sooner, shut up.  Where were you in 2009 when Sterling was honored by the NAACP?  Where was your outrage?  How come only now it’s obvious?  And give credit to Commissioner Silver for the action he took.  He didn’t have to impose this type of sanction.  He had a wide range of discretion.  He chose to impose the most extreme measure, a $2.5 million dollar fine (the highest allowed under NBA rules) and a lifetime ban.  This is quick, decisive, and just action for a man who’s been on the job for three months (well-played, David Stern). One thing we all can agree on:  the NBA, and aspiring models in Hollywood, are better off without Donald Sterling.

Enjoy your teabag.

Mock 3.0 (April 19, 2014)

Alright, we’re 3 weeks from the Draft, and things are really starting to change.  The question to answer now:  how far will Teddy Bridgewater fall?  Not if…but how far.  That’s right, the consensus #1 overall pick for the past 6 months is now sliding out of the Top 10, and possibly the first round.  Seriously, how do you have a bad pro day?  Anyway, let’s get to it.

Mock 3.0 (1 of 5)No changes for the top 2 picks, as it looks like Jadaveon is a lock to go #1.  Unless St. Louis trades out of the #2 pick (which I’d peg at 50/50) Sammy Watkins looks like their pick…not bad, considering Sammy’s drawing comparisons as a fast Larry Fitzgerald.  Big change comes at #3, as the QB-needy Jaguars will shun a QB and go with Kahlil Mack.  Why?  The Jags are more than just a QB-needy team…they are a [insert position]-needy team.  Plus, is there a QB worth the #3 pick in this draft?  The Jags have reached for a QB before (see Gabbert, Blaine) and you don’t want to reach at 3.  Likewise, the QB-needed Browns will also forgo a QB.  I think the Browns believe in Brian Hoyer just enough to give him a chance.  Da Raiders picking Robinson is a really smart pick, which is probably why they won’t do it.

Mock 3.0 (2 of 5)

Alright, the first QB goes off the Board at #8, as the Vikings take UCF stud Blake Bortles.  Blake seems to have risen to the top of the QB class.  He’s got prototypical size, and no baggage.  He’s the safe pick.  Mathews is thought of in many circles as the best OL in the Draft, and would come at a steal for Tampa at 7.  The Bills, missing out on Robinson and Mathews, go to their next need, and provide EJ Manual with a legit receiving threat in Eric Ebron (think Vernon Davis minus the diva).  Roid Rage has a mild hard-on just thinking about Manual to Ebron.

Mock 3.0 (3 of 5)

And the Johnny Football/Teddy Bridgwater fall begins.  Note:  if one (or both) get past Tennessee at 11, it’s going to be a long wait).  The G-Men stick with Lewan at 12, the question is whether he’ll be there (please be there).  I think St. Louis will go Offense/Offense with their first round picks, giving Sam Bradford no excuse (until his inevitable Week 6 separated shoulder).  Defense should dominate the middle round of this draft.  Chicago would love it if Donald were still around, but if not, hybrid-stud Anthony Barr should fit perfectly in their defense.

Mock 3.0 (4 of 5)

Finally, Johnny Football finds a home in Arizona…but Teddy still sweats it out in the green room.  Justin Gilbert provides great value for Miami at #19.  The run on WR also begins…Philly would be wise to replace Desean Jackson with Marqise Lee (but wait, he’s from SoCal, aren’t they all gang bangerz???).

Mock 3.0 (5 of 5)

Wait…Teddy falls out of the first round???  It’s looking that way.  Roid Rage has him at #5…but he’s a whore for QBs, and also thinks Derek Carr could find his into the first round.  There’s a shot of beamer on that one, son!  New England jumps out at me as a team that would love to trade out of the first round and let someone jump back in to the first and maybe grab Teddy.  There’s a lot of depth to this draft, and many big names still left.

Mock Draft 3.0 (April 16, 2014)

We are a mere 3 weeks away from the eve of the 79th Annual NFL Players Selection Meeting (that’s the official name….Wikipedia bitches!)  This draft is going to have quite a few fireworks, particularly in the Top Ten.  There are a few blue chip studs that every team would like to roster (don’t buy the Jadeveon Clowney has never worked a hard day in his life reports one bit).  On the flip side, this draft is extremely deep.  There are terrific prospects to be had in the middle rounds.  There will be some teams that are aggressive and go get “their guy”; while others try their damndest to trade down and stockpile picks (here is looking at you, Hoodie).  Enough chit-chat, on to the picks…..Rev3_1-3

 Clowney would have been the hands down No. 1 pick in last years draft.  There isn’t a QB prospect worthy enough to pass on this guy.  As I stated above, I’m not buying into these made up negative claims about his work ethic; at the same time I’m not going to enshrine him in Canton before he even plays.

Sammy Watkins is a stud.  He dominated SEC competition at age 18.  If the Rams can’t pull off a trade, he should be the pick.  Picks 2 and 3 are up for grabs in terms of trading up.  In this scenario I have Atlanta trading up to the 3-hole to grab Mack.

Rev3_4-10

Four picks in and I have two pass-rushers and two pass-catchers.  This is where the draft gets really interesting as the Jags, Browns, Raiders, and Vikings are QB-desperate (you could even make an argument for the Bucs as well).  Who starts the QB run?  How highly do teams covet these QBs?  Can they be had later in the first round?  Second round?  In my mock the Raiders get first crack.  I’ll let Teddy’s film speak for itself and try to erase his horrific pro-day from my memory (a few more huffs ought to do it).  Bridgewater gives them a chance.  He’ll have the opportunity to learn (how not to throw pick-6’s) from Matt Schaub.  Again, I have Atlanta and Jacksonville swapping picks in the first, so Bortles is a Jaguar in this scenario.  Sure, Gus Bradley would love to have Clowney or Mack on his defense, but this has got to be the most QB-needy franchise in the league.  Ebron and Donald continue to rise up my mock drafts (I had them at 23 and 25, respectively in Mock 2.0).  Ebron is a big-bodied, athletic mismatch.  It gives the Bucs a second option in the passing game after Vincent Jackson.  Minnesota is a complete wildcard.  I think they’d jump at the chance to draft Bortles and I think Norv Turner probably has a mild hard-on for Carr.  But is 8 overall too high for David’s kid brother?  I think so.  Then again: Matt Cassel, Christian Ponder.  Barf!  Mike Zimmer is a no nonsense, old school, defensive minded coach.  He grabs the disruptive interior force in Donald.  For the record, I think Jake Matthews and Greg Robinson are better prospects than any of the guys drafted last year (and there were 4 OTs drafted in the first 11 picks last year); so for the Bills and Lions to get them at 9 and 10 is great value.

Rev3_11-16

Johnny Football ladies and gentlemen!  Whizz knows as well as anyone that you have to have a QB to win in this league.  Ginger keeps harping on the fact that if the Giants can protect Eli they will basically win the Super Bowl.  Fine.  Enter Taylor Lewan.  St. Louis grabs Watkins and Clinton-Dix.  Their roster is loaded with talent (thank you Dan Synder).  Will there be a QB with more pressure to succeed this season than Sam Bradford?  Chicago and Dallas are both searching for able-bodied defensive linemen; which means Jerry will probably end up draft a Guard.

Rev3_17-23

 There are some serious playmakers available in the second half of the first round.  I love the player-team pairs for this group of picks.

Rev3_24-32

I really think you’ll see Derek Carr go somewhere in this range. I know I keep harping on the depth of this class, but for a good reason, check out these notable missing prospects: Jace Aramo, David Yankey, Brandon Cooks, Ryan Shazier, Jordan Matthews, Stephon Tuitt, Cyrus Kouandjio.

Meet the best football player in Buffalo - including anyone on the Bills!

The Man!

Mock Draft 2.0

We’re almost one month away from the Draft (can you feel the excitement?!?).  Free agency is coming to a close, and draft boards are starting to take form.  You’ll notice some big changes from my Mock 1.0, due mainly to free agency and Roid Rage’s constant nagging that no RBs will be drafted in the first round.   

Anyway, on to the picks.  And thanks to our boys at KFFL for putting together the Draft Machine…we highly recommend you head over there and put one together.

KFFL Mock 2.0 (pt. 1 of 2)

Analysis:  For now, I got Jadaveon at #1.  He should be the #1 pick…but there are rumbllings Houston’s going to pick a QB.  Sorry, but there is no consensus #1 QB.  There is no Peyton Manning, Andrew Luck, or Cam Newton in this Draft.  You cannot reach with the number one pick, when you do, bad things happen (see Russel, JaMarcus).  Also, Sammy Watkins has flies up the board to #2, and if St. Louis can then grab a tackle #13, Sam Bradford will be the happiest man in the NFL.  Not sure about 3 QBs in the Top 10…I really think one of them will slip out of the Top 10.  Buffalo would be estatic if Mathews falls to them at #9.  G-Men will give a long hard look at Mike Evans and Eric Ebron…but if Lewan is sitting there, protecting Eli wins out. 

Ok, on to the second half:

KFFL Mock 2.0 (pt. 2 of 2)

Analysis:  Cowboys have to go DL, and would love it if Aaron Donald were still on the Board, but Timmy Jernigan isn’t a bad consolation prize.  Green Bay would bull rush the podium if Ebron falls to them…ditto with Philadelphia as Marquise Lee fits perfectly in Chip Kelly’s offense (and has no known gang affiliations).  If Cleveland goes QB at #4, they will have to go WR at #26 to give their newest bust savior a weapon to throw to.

Roid Rage sufficiently bullied me into having no RBs in the first round, but I’ll wager a shot of Beamer that one sneaks in.  Thank God we’ll have a Mock 3.0 next week.

Mock Draft 2.0

With free agency signings winding down and the misinformation machine in overdrive, we’re entering the final stretch of Mock Draft Season!  Below is my latest Round One Mock Draft put together using KFFL’s Mock Draft Machine.  In the category of Awesome-ways-to-kill-work-productivity goes, this is at the top of the list!  I highly recommend.

On to the picks………….

Thank you, KFFL!

Thank you, KFFL!

Analysis:  I know I’m not the only one that has had Clowney penciled in as the top pick for over a year now.  He is special.  It would take a QB prospect the likes of Andrew Luck for me to bypass Clowney.  In a league predicated on match-ups, Clowney and Watt on the same defensive front is borderline criminal!

I’ve got a combined 6 DL and LBs in the first half of this class.  That speaks not only to the depth of the position, but the premium placed on disruptive defenders.

Ultimately I think Mike Evans goes in the Top 10.  6’5″ – 231 lbs.  with 4.5s speed just doesn’t grow on trees.  The WR depth in this class is incredible.  There are going to be WR bargains to be had in the 2nd and 3rd round.

Round 1, Part 2 (Mock 2.0)

Ozzie Newsome and Ted Thompson continue doing what they always do: patiently wait for a super talent player to fall to them. Gilbert is in a dead heat with Dennard to be the first CB drafted this year.  He is a good get at 17.

Derek “you have to believe me, I’m way better than my brother” Carr makes it 4 QBs in the first round.

Like I said when I was shitting all over Ginger’s Mock 1.0, I’ll take the under on RB’s going in the first round this year.  And that’s not necessarily a knock on Hyde or Mason, both of whom I personally enjoy watching and think will be big time contributors at the NFL level, but more of a statement on the environment of the league today.  It’s a passing-first (second, and third) league.  QB, Pass-rusher, CB, OL and WR are much more valuable than running backs.  The Texans and Vikings have had the most productive running backs in the league for a few years in Arian Foster and Adrian Peterson, and they are both picking in the Top 10.

I'll take this guy and you can have the guy that has a good "work ethic"

I’ll take this guy and you can have the guy that has a good “work ethic”

Tuesday Teabag, March 25, 2014 – Freshmen Phenoms

How busted is your bracket?  Better or worse than your freshman year slumpbuster?  Sadly, The Machine did not win the Billion Dollar Bracket Challenge (note: turns out that is not an acceptable retirement strategy). 

Anyway, if your bracket is totally toast, it’s likely due to the efforts of the following players, all of whom were highly recruited one-and-done “student” athletes.  Let’s see how these freshmen phenoms fared in the NCAA Tournament.

Who knew Jabari's number would coincide with Duke's exit from the NCAA Tournament?

Who knew Jabari’s number would coincide with Duke’s exit from the NCAA Tournament?

Jabari Parker – Duke

Perhaps the most highly sought after freshman, Jabari was supposed to lead perennial powerhouse Duke back to the promise land…or, at least to the second round.  The third seeded Blue Devils had a matchup with the fourteenth seeded Mercer Bears.  Quick:  what state is Mercer located in?  No peeking…answer:  Georgia.  Duke essentially had a home game, as the game was played in Raleigh, NC. 

Anyway, Jabari was a complete dud.  He ended the game with 14 pts., 7 rebounds, and 0 assists, all lower than his 19/9/1 regular season average.  He was also 0-3 from 3 point range, and just looked lost on the court. 

If he had played up to half of his potential, Duke would have cruised.  Instead, the Atlantic Sun Conference Champions took over the second half, and ended up winning by 7. 

Please don't leave.

Please don’t leave.

Tyler Ennis – Syracuse

Is there a team player more frustrating to watch than Syracuse Tyler Ennis?  At times, Ennis looked like a league veteran…cool, calm under pressure, and came up big in the clutch. 

Who could forget this one:

https://

But what a dismal end to the season:  Syracuse finished 2-4 down the stretch, got bounced in the ACC Tournament early, and limped into the NCAA Tourney.  Then, just as Cuse Nation was in the gutter, they absolutely roll Western Michigan in the first Round, winning by 24.  So spirits were lifted, and spirits were lifted even higher when 11th-seeded Dayton bounced Ohio St.  Now, SU fans saw a clear path back to the final four, and nothing was going to stop this once 25-0 juggernaut.

However, what was supposed to be a cruise control victory for Syracuse turned into a nightmare, and Ennis certainly didn’t help.  While he had a team high 19 pts., he chucked up 21 shots, and was 33% from the field.  Also, he was 0-5 from three.  And, perhaps most damning, he had a shot at the buzzer for the win…a shot that, one month ago, no one would question him taking.

In fairness to Ennis, Boeheim (as The Machine noted) deserves much of the blame for his teams’ collapse.  Clearly, getting ejected losing the game for them against Duke really fired up his squad.

As good as gone.

As good as gone.

Andrew Wiggins – Kansas

Last but not least, Kansas stud Andrew Wiggins.  The Number 2 seeded Jayhawks suffered an embarrassing loss to 10th-seed Stanford on Sunday, and Wiggins was much to blame, shooting a dismal 1-6.  Wiggins, who averaged over 17 points per game during the regular season, finished Sunday with 4 points, 4 rebounds, 1 assist, and 4 turnovers. 

The sad thing is, as awful as these three played…all will be forgotten come the NBA Draft, as all three will be Top 10 picks.  The Machine’s down with one and done athletes…provided they shine on the biggest stage (see Rose, Derrick; see also Anthony, Carmelo).  But when your freshman phenom bombs, they shouldn’t then be rewarded by a lucrative NBA contract.  We hope these three come back for another year, but the chances of that are slim.  Wiggins is gone for sure, probably Ennis too [update:  dammit].  The only one that may waiver is Parker. 

You would think that, after collectively choking in the tourney, that all three would want to come back and give it one more try.  You’d think they’d have that competitive edge and devotion to their alma mater, to want to win.  However, that’s the problem with the one-and-dones.  There is no allegiance or loyalty to the school…the school (and their fan base) are nothing more than an obligatory stop.  To them, you are their slumpbuster.

Enjoy your teabag.

Mock Draft 1.1

Draft 2014If you have been preparing and/or studying mock drafts prior to March 11, 2014, The Machine’s here to tell you’ve wasted your time (do you hear us McShay and Kiper?).  Why?  Because mocking before free agency starts is worthless.  Teams will first fill their needs through free agency, then the Draft.  Need proof?  Check how many pre-March 11 drafts had the Patriots taking a corner.  Almost all of them.  Now that Revis Island is heading to Foxboro, do you think the Pats will address that in the first round?  Same with Detroit.  Everyone had them taking a WR, but now that they have Golden Tate to play opposite Megatron, they will also fill other needs.

But we digress.  Anyway, here is The Machine’s first official mock draft of 2014.  We will be updating as free agency continues and pro-days are held, so check back for the latest updates in our award-winning Drafts.

Update [3/19/2014]: Can you imagine a world ruled by gingers? Scary thought, right?  It would probably look something like this:

Houston, we have a problem.....(and it's not who to take first overall)

Houston, we have a problem…..(and it’s not who to take first overall)

A ginger-only mock draft is almost as frightening!  That’s why Roid Rage is here to add a bit of sanity to this mock draft.  I’ll play the Lone Ranger to GK’s Tonto!  Saddle up…..

Pick/Team Ginger King Roid Rage
1. Houston Jadeveon Clowney (DE, South Carolina): QB is tempting (and a need), but is there a QB worthy of begin #1 overall?  No doubt Jadeveon is the best athlete in the draft.  There’s also no doubt defense wins championships (see Seahawks, Seattle).  In the end, Houston cannot pass up the once in a generation DE. Jadeveon Clowney (DE, South Carolina):  We’re in agreement with the first pick.  Pairing Clowney with JJ Watt is a match up nightmare for every offense in the league.  If not Clowney, then Bortles.
2. St. Louis Jake Mathews (OT, Texas A&M):
St. Louis is in a prime spot to trade this pick (we’d be surprised if they didn’t).  They have two first round picks (thanks to the steal of a trade they made with Washington).  Apparently, St. Louis is looking to give Sam Bradford one more shot at being “the guy.”  If they stay put, Jake Mathews is a safe pick that will provide instant protection for Sam.
Greg Robinson (OT, Auburn): While I agree with Ginger that OL is a priority, I prefer the upside that Greg Robinson offers.  Much like the 2010 Draft, when (pre-draft) everyone had Russell Okung as the “top tackle” only to see the “higher upside” Razorback Williams go 4th overall, two spots ahead of Russell.
3. Jacksonville Teddy Bridgewater (QB, Louisville): The Jags are in a familiar spot, with their sixth consecutive Top 10 pick.  The Blaine Gabbert Experience has ended, and QB is the most pressing need.  Question is: which one?  My money’s on the one that’s the most NFL ready.  And that’s Teddy Bridgewater.  Blake Bortles (QB, UCF):  Gus Bradley will be pounding on the table for Clowney (should he fall) or Khalil Mack (should he fall).  But given the state of the franchise, QB has to be the pick.  Bortles has the size, arm talent, awareness and willingness to hang in the pocket to be cornerstone pick.  Plus, Lindsey Duke!  God. Damn.
4. Cleveland Johnny Manziel (QB, Texas A&M): Cleveland’s in the same boat in Jacksonville (as if Cleveland needed another reason to be depressed).  The Brandon Weeden Experience is over, and this organization needs a spark.  Who better than man-whore Johnny Football?  Johnny Manziel (QB, Texas A&M): I actually like Brian Hoyer, but his largest support (Mike Lombardi) was chased out of town along with the rest of the coaching staff and front office.  Johnny Football makes this franchise relevant.  Welcome to Cleveland.
 

Show me the money!

Show me the money!

5. Oakland Sammy Watkins (WR, Clemson):
Sammy Watkins stock continues to rise.  Mark my words:  he’s going to be a Top 5 pick.  I could really make an argument for St. Louis taking him #2.  But if he’s here at 5, Da Raiders will not be able to pass him up.  The ghost of Al Davis lives on. 
Sammy Watkins (WR, Clemson):  Ginger has been on this kids bandwagon since his high school days; mainly because he has a thing for high school boys, but also because Watkins is a freak!  He’ll have a tough time developing into a #1 WR, but that has everything to do with Oakland and nothing to do with Sammy.  This pick is Al Davis approved.
6. Atlanta Anthony Barr (DE, UCLA): Atlanta must go defense here.  They were exposed last year…big time.  Christ, Geno Smith led a game winning drive against them.  They need to get younger quick.  Khalil Mack is tempting, but their bigger need as at the ends.  Khalil Mack (LB, Buffalo): Mack is the superior prospect to Barr.  Hell, you can debate the merits of Mack with Clowney if you’d like.  UB’s finest!
7. Tampa Bay Khalil Mack (LB, Buffalo):
If Mack is still on the board, Tampa takes about 3 seconds to make this pick.  Hitler Youth Man of the Year Greg Schiano is gone, as is Darrelle Revis (we told you that trade was awful).  Anyway, Mack will remind everyone of Derrick Brooks, and will instantly become the leader on defense.
Teddy Bridgewater (QB, Louisville): This pick seems weird, right?  But this could be the perfect landing spot for both player and team.  The Bucs can role with Josh McCown as the steady veteran and give bridgewater a year of grooming (and weight training).  Or, a dark horse (Tennessee, Arizona, KC) could move in front of the Vikings to grab perhaps the best QB of this class.
 

Meet the best football player in Buffalo - including anyone on the Bills!

Meet the best football player in Buffalo – including anyone on the Bills!

8. Minnesota Blake Bortles (QB, UCF): Resigning Matt Cassel is not the long term answer, but he does give the Vikings time to bring someone in to groom.  The man would be Blake Bortles.  He has the prototypical size for a QB, and the hottest girlfriend in the Draft. Ha Ha Clinton-Dix (S, Alabama): Last years draft proved that Rick Spielman is a slave to his board.  He’ll take the best player available, either Clinton-Dix or Anthony Barr.  Don’t be surprised to see HHCD go this high.  Playmaking safetys with good range are highly valuable in today’s league.  Mar Barron went #7 overall in 2012.  The Saints just gave Jarius Byrd $50 million.
9. Buffalo Greg Robinson (OT, Auburn):
Robinson is giving Mathews a run for his money as the top offensive lineman.  As the Draft gets closer, it’s very likely that Robinson will be gone by now.  But Buffalo could sure use an upgrade on the line. 
Jake Mathews (OT, Texas A&M): The Bills land a stud OT in my mock too.  Matthews paired with Cordy Glenn should provide the Bills with stud bookend tackles for the next decade.  Although the Bills probably won’t pay either when their rookie deals expire.
 
10. Detroit Justin Gilbert (CB, Oklahoma St): The Lions need a shutdown corner.  This is a perfect need/value pick, as Gilbert is the consensus top corner in the Draft. Darqueze Dennard (CB, Michigan St.): Not only do we differ on the top OT, but also the top rated corner.  Dennard’s game tape is too impressive; he’ll be the first corner taken this year.
11. Tennessee Timmy Jernigan (NT, Florida St.):
If one of the Top 3 QBs slide, the Titans will think long and hard about ending the Jake Locker Experience.  Shoring up the interior of the defense isn’t a bad consolation prize, as Jernigan is a beast.
Justin Gilbert (CB, Oklahoma St): And the Cornerback run is on!  This CB class is deep, so it could come down to the type of scheme the team plays on running.  Gilbert has the make-up of a number one corner.  The Titans just happen to need one of those!
12. NYG Taylor Lewan (OT, Michigan):
Lewan really raised his stock with his solid performance at the Combine.  The guy’s a mauler, and is the definition of a “play through the whistle” player.  Sure, he’s Richie Incognito 2.0, but the G-Men need to get mean and nasty on the line.  Defensive line is also a need (after losing Tuck in free agency) but the Giant’s recipe for success is clear:  Protect Eli = win.  Don’t protect Eli = lose.  Sometimes, it is that simple.
Anthony Barr (DE, UCLA):
Sorry Eli, but Jerry Reese won’t be able to help himself.  First-round DE’s are this thing.
 

Jesus, he really is Richie 2.0

Jesus, he really is Richie 2.0

13. St. Louis Eric Ebron (TE, North Carolina) Mike Evans (WR, Texas A&M)
14. Chicago Aaron Donald (DT, Pittsburgh) Louis Nix (DT, Notre Dame)
15. Pittsburgh Ha Ha Clinton-Dix (S, Alabama) CJ Mosley (LB, Alabama)
16. Dallas Marquise Lee (WR, USC) Dominique Easley (DT, Florida)
17. Baltimore CJ Mosley (LB, Alabama) Aaron Donald (DT, Pittsburgh)
18. NYJ Mike Evans (WR, Texas A&M) Eric Ebron (TE, North Carolina)
19. Miami Zach Martin (OT, Notre Dame) Taylor Lewan (OT, Michigan):
20. Arizona Darqueze Dennard (CB, Michigan St.) Timmy Jernigan (NT, Florida St.):
21. Green Bay Jace Amaro (TE, Texas Tech) Ryan Shazier (LB, Ohio State)
22. Philadelphia Calvin Pryor (FS, Louisville) Dee Ford (DE, Auburn)
23. Kansas City Brandon Cooks (WR, Oregon St.) Odell Beckham (WR, LSU)
24. Cincinnati Bradley Roby (CB, Ohio St.) Jason Verrett (CB, TCU)
25. San Diego Louis Nix (DT, Notre Dame) Zach Martin (OL, Notre Dame)
26. Cleveland Tre Mason (RB, Auburn) Ra’shede Hageman (DT, Minnesota)
27. New Orleans Vic Beasley (DE, Clemson) Brandon Cooks (WR, Oregon St.)
28. Carolina Odell Beckham (WR, LSU) Jace Amaro (TE, Texas Tech)
29. New England Kony Ealy (DE, Missouri) Kelvin Benjamin (WR, Florida St.)
30. San Francisco Carlos Hyde (RB, Ohio St.) Will Sutton (DT, Arizona)
31. Denver Ryan Shazier (LB, Ohio St.) Bradley Roby (CB, Ohio St.)
32. Seattle Kelvin Benjamin (WR, Florida St.) Marquise Lee (WR, USC)

 

Tuesday Teabag, February 25, 2014 – Jim Boeheim

Here comes the crazy!

Here comes the crazy!

A clear cut winner this week, as Syracuse Orange Coach Jim Boeheim takes top honors for his antics in coaching with passion costing his team the game Saturday night against Duke.  To set the scene:  Cuse with the ball, down 2, 15 seconds left, looking to go 2-0 against Duke on the year and seeking to avenge their first (and embarrassing) loss at home to Boston College.  Then see what happens:

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Now, was this a bad call?  Of course.  It should have been a block.  Basket should have counted and CJ should have gone to the line to give Cuse the lead.  Instead, Boeheim gets a double T, gets ejected, Duke shoots 4 free throws, and they win by 6. 

Make no mistake about it:  Jim Boeheim cost them the game.  Blame the refs all you want (SU fans), but the real fault lies with the Coach.  It was idiotic for many reasons, but worst of all:  Syracuse still had a chance to win the game.  Even with the bad call, Cuse was still only down 2 with 10.4 seconds left.  If you’ve watched any SU basketball at all this year, you know they have a knack of pulling out close games (those Cardiac Cuse t-shirts are selling like hotcakes at Wegmans).  Also, Duke was shaky from the line.  They missed 10 free throws, so it’s no gimme that they would make both free throws if they got the ball back…that’s assuming SU doesn’t force a turnover.  Point is:  with 10.4 seconds to go, the game was far from over.

Who's bad???

Who’s bad???

But Boeheim didn’t give his team a chance.  He gave up on them, and in so doing, showed his true character, which, if you haven’t figured it out by now, is a ornery, volatile, take my ball and go home old man.  On the plus side, it gave those creative internet photoshop kids a field day.

Surprisingly though, many Cuse fans The Machine spoke with gave Boeheim a pass.  “He showed his players he’s got their back.” they said. “He’s a passionate coach who wears his heart on his sleeve.” they said.  “He wouldn’t do that if it was an elimination game.”  Well, The Machine’s here to call you out for your blatant homerism.

Why should Boeheim get a pass???  If CJ Fair blew up and got ejected, do you think people would be running to his defense, saying he plays with passion?  No, he would’ve been vilified for acting like a selfish, me-first athlete who can’t control his emotions.  Why should we treat Boeheim any different?  If anything, it’s more excusable for a college player—you know, the teenager/early 20 something year old “student”—to flip out after a call like that.  But not the seasoned, championship-winning coach.  The coach is supposed to have perspective, to understand the bigger picture.  To rally his team when faced with adversity.  Well, Boeheim did the exact opposite:  he gave up, and giving him a pass because he’s the coach is—as he repeatedly reminded the ref at midcourt—bullshit.

Also, his antics overshadowed what is quickly becoming the next great college basketball rivalry.  This was Syracuse’s first trip to Cameron Indoor Stadium.  With Syracuse in the ACC, these two teams will play each other twice a year (and likely three times if you include their inevitable matchup in the ACC Championship Game [sidebar:  yes, it will be weird to see SU play in a conference tournament that’s not at MSG, but we digress].

Anyway, when SU and Duke played in Syracuse three weeks ago, it was an epic matchup.  A record-setting crowd in the Dome, 35,000+ screaming fans, and the game did not disappoint.  Rasheed Sulaimon for Duke hit a game-tying three at the buzzer, but Syracuse was able to hold on and pull out a two point victory in overtime.  Now, that game also had a late game controversial call.  With Duke down 1, 12 seconds left in regulation, Rodney Hood went up for a dunk and Rakeem Christmas fouled blocked the shot.  Many people thought a foul should’ve been called.  We’re guessing Coach K thought a foul should’ve been called.  But there’s the difference between Coach K and Coach Boeheim:  Coach K controlled his emotions, and gave his team a chance to win. 

For that reason alone, Coach K will always get the nod as the better coach…not to mention the more wins and national championships. 

But wait, says the passionate, blindly loyal SU fan, Coach Boeheim was bringing his team together, taking the pressure off them, and getting them ready for the NCAA tourney.  First, how metta of you.  Second, really?  How did SU perform in its next game against Maryland on Monday night?  SU barely won against a Maryland team with 13 losses that they should have easily beat.  Not really the rallying cry now, is it?  More telling, let’s here from CJ Fair, SU’s star player on his thoughts on his Coach: 

Leave it to your players to understand the big picture.

Leave it to your players to understand the big picture.

Exactly, give your team the chance to win.  Instead, Coach Boeheim proved to the world he’s nothing more than a poor man’s Bobby Knight.  At least learn how to take your jacket off or throw something.

Enjoy your teabag.