Boom goes the dynamite…and long term NFL contract.

That’s right.  The Machine is back with a brand new teabag.  And this one’s going to blow you away (pun intended).  So let’s light this candle and get this party started.

First, happy belated Fourth of July.  The Machine went full ‘Murica over the weekend:  we caught a major league game, drank a wheelbarrow full of beer, and of course, fireworks.  We were a Toby Keith concert away from hitting the ‘Murica cycle.  Yes, we love the Fourth.  To us, it’s the official kickoff of summer.  The days are longer, the beer is colder, baseball is starting to become slightly more relevant, and training camp is right around the corner.  But it’s inevitable that someone will take their love of the Fourth a bit too far, and that leads us to our Tuesday Teabag winner…Jason Pierre-Paul.

Is there anyone that’s having a worse post-Fourth hangover than JPP?  Well, maybe Jared.  Or Donovan.  But JPP’s right up there.  If you haven’t heard, JPP spent his Fourth of July with a U-Haul truck full of fireworks.  What could possibly go wrong?  As it turns out, a lot.  Pierre-Paul allegedly injured himself setting off fireworks, causing severe burns and significant damage to his hand.  The extent of the injury is unknown, some reports say there’s possible nerve damage.  Thanks to social media (and nosy neighbors) we got the play by play.

So this Jason Pierre-Paul thing sounds pretty bad. pic.twitter.com/EVKrqPgzLU

— PastADivingFlores (@_mistermet) July 5, 2015

While JPP’s injury may not be career threatening, it’s certainly going to be career limiting.  This couldn’t possibly come at a worse time for JPP.  The Giants designated him as their franchise player, meaning he would play this year at a (fully guaranteed) price of $14.8 million.  JPP has not signed his franchise contract yet…preferring to hold out while trying to agree to a long term deal.  All franchise players have until July 15 to sign a long term contract with their team.  After that, their only option is to sign their one-year franchise contract.

The Giants reportedly had a multi-year, $60 million contract on the table.  Care to guess what happened to that?  Yup, the Giants have withdrawn that offer, obviously wanting to see the extent of the damage that was caused.

Making matters worse is that JPP had some leverage in his negotiations with the Giants.  He was coming off a very good year, re-establishing himself as a top tier defensive end.  The Giants maybe would have moved up their offer a little, in hopes of him signing a long term deal now…but there’s zero chance of that happening.  Even if he plays up to the level he did last year, this injury will just add to the growing list of injuries…which will further drive down his price if he becomes a free agent.  Now, JPP will have to prove himself even more this year.  And if he has to miss any games because of this, his price tag will continue to drop.

Making matters ever worse is he could stand to lose $14.8 million for this season.  Generally speaking, the franchise contract is fully guaranteed.  So, if JPP were to hurt himself in Week 1 and miss the rest of the season, he would still receive all of his $14.8 million.  There is one, minor exception to that rule…for a non-football related injury.  In that situation, the franchise money is not guaranteed.  The Giants could cut him and not owe him a dime.  FYI, this is why players and the league fight over CBA negotiations.

And that’s what’s most troubling at this point.  While reports say JPP should be fine, he’s (a) still in the hospital, and (b) the Giants medical staff has not been allowed to see him.  Those are not exactly promising signs.  Update:  he’s not fine, in fact, he had his right index finger amputated.

JPP needs to get over himself and get his ass back to NY for some serious damage control.  Is he going to be ridiculed by his teammates and the entire city of New York?  Yes.  Should he be?  Yes.  JPP can certainly dish it, but these next few weeks will determine if he can take it.  He needs to play the part of the embarrassed, humiliated and humbled athlete.  If instead he takes the spoiled child, I’m beyond reproach route (a/k/a the Tom Brady) then he risks severing more than just his finger.

Let this be a lesson to you kids:  wait until after you sign your long term contract before you buy a truckload worth of fireworks.  Also, find a friend to light that shit up.

Enjoy your teabag.

“S” is for Sanctions.

First, happy St. Patrick’s Day!  If there are any typos, it’s not because The Machine’s been drinking since noon.  Second, happy March Madness!  Still studying your bracket to find your upset special (you better pick at least two 12/5 upsets).  While you’re focusing on the teams that are in the tourney, our Tuesday Teabag focuses on one that’s not.

By now you’re well aware of the sanctions the NCAA imposed on Syracuse athletics.  It’s surprising/sad that the football team was involved too.  FYI, if you’re going to cheat, you better at least be good.  And no, winning the Pinstripe Bowl does not count.

Anyway, just recently the NCAA laid the hammer on the Orange.  Jim Boeheim was suspended for 9 games next season (pretty sure he wish that would’ve started sooner so he didn’t have to witness the beatdown against NC State), took away 12 scholarships, and vacated 108 wins, going back to 2004.  Shit, even Otto got banned from the mascot game.  Boom.  Just like that, Boeheim drops from the 2^nd winningest Division I Men’s Basketball Coach to the 6^th (and Bobby Knight beats him again, this time without Keith Smart).

Otto got hosed!

Boeheim’s no stranger to The Machine.  Last year, we gave him a Teabag when his temper tantrum cost SU the game against Duke.  This time, his actions (or non-actions) have cost him even more.  Suspension, an unprecedented amount of wins vacated, and loss of scholarships affecting kids who weren’t even at the school.  Sounds pretty harsh, right?  Well, The Machine says bullshit.  Syracuse fans should be lucky the NCAA allowed them to keep its 2003 National Title.

Sorry, but we’re not buying your lame excuses.  When your best defense is “everyone else is doing it” you’re shit out of luck.  That didn’t work when your parents busted you for smoking, that didn’t work with your high school girlfriend, and it sure as hell doesn’t work here.  [cue Mom or prude high school girlfriend voice]:  “I don’t care if everyone does it, that doesn’t mean it’s right.”  Now shudder that those two voices are similar.

Look, if you told me that 95% of Division I schools violate the rules, I’d say you’re missing a few.  There’s a reason why no current coaches are slamming Boeheim…because they know if the light’s shined on their school they’re screwed.  But that doesn’t mean there are no consequences for getting caught.  In all facets of life where competition is a driving force, people are going to bend break the rules to gain a competitive edge.  Am I right, New England Patriots?

An equally dumb argument is that Boeheim didn’t know what was going on.  Are you kidding me?  Does Boeheim look like the kind of guy that has a loose, laissez faire approach to life?  Sorry, not buying it.  Coaches, by nature, are control freaks.  College coaches even more so, as they’re trying to mold teenagers into professional student athletes.  These guys know every detail of these kids’ lives before they arrive on campus.  They send scouts out all over the country to watch high school games, and spend countless hours recruiting players and convincing their families they should play at their school.  You think that switch turns off once they get to college?

Perhaps the dumbest argument is the one put forth by Dick Vitale.  Dickie V gave an impassioned ridiculous defense of Boeheim, saying he was guilty of one thing:  trust.  Yeah, Boeheim unknowingly hired a bunch of evil doers.  [cue Dickie V voice:]  Come on!  Are you serious?

You have the Director of Basketball Operations (and others) accessing player’s email accounts, pretending to be the players and corresponding directly with professors and turning in assignments on behalf of players.  Then you have Fab Melo.  You know, your star player who can barely speak English.  Don’t you think Boeheim ever thought, “gee, I wonder if Fab’s inability to speak English is hampering his academic success.”  You need to read this Deadspin article to truly appreciate the clusterfuck that went on with Fab.

There’s no way he doesn’t know something’s up.  Giving him the biggest benefit of the doubt, Boeheim is at best willfully ignorant.  But again, that’s no excuse.  You’re the head coach.  The buck stops with you.  Plausible deniability is no defense.

Wait, my players don’t go to class, receive improper benefits, and have their papers written for them? Noooo…

Also, did anyone else find it a little disingenuous that Syracuse issued its self-imposed ban on postseason play during a year when their team sucked?  They didn’t need any ban on postseason play this year because they were never getting into the NCAA tourney.  Can you be more transparent and self-serving?  Syracuse waited for the most opportune time to self-impose its penalty, so it would do the least amount of damage.  And, for the most part, it worked.

Were the penalties a little harsh?  Maybe, but guess what?  They should be.  It’s called deterrence, and sending a message.  Taking away wins from coaches, tarnishing their legacy, hits them right where they feel it most, their ego.  And you need to have penalties that extend into the future (e.g. loss of scholarships).  The penalties must be severe enough so that’s it’s not worth the risk of cheating.  Even then, teams will still do it.  But if all teams were faced with are backward looking fines and penalties, that’s not enough.  And that’s why The Machine thinks maybe the penalties for Syracuse weren’t so bad after all.

The only things affecting next year are Boeheim missing the first 9 fluff games of the season (pretty sure the Cuse can handle Colgate without Jim at the helm) and the loss of scholarships.  [Edit:  the suspension is for the first 9 conference games, so Jim will be on the bench against the Raiders]. That stings, for sure, but the 12 scholarship losses are phased out over 4 years.  It’s certainly not the “death penalty” that Syracuse fans are now calling on other schools to receive.  Importantly, SU is not banned from next year’s postseason, which is key.  Syracuse has one of the best recruiting classes in the country next year, so keeping their postseason eligibility was an absolute must in order to avoid any defections.

And that’s why no one should cry foul about the NCAA sanctions.  Be thankful they stopped where they did.  Did they take away too many games from Boeheim?  Probably.  But that won’t matter when SU’s in the Final Four next year.

Enjoy your teabag.