Week 2 – Waiver Wire Pickups

Fantasy FootballWeek 1’s in the books, and already, things are getting crazy.  Key injuries (Dez) and busts (CJ Anderson) may already be affecting your team.   Time to throw in the towel?  Ginger, please!  Fantasy championships are won by savvy waiver wire pickups.  And, depending on how hung over we are, we’ll hook you up with weekly waiver wire grabs.  Now, on to the show.

Tyrod Taylor, QB, Buffalo (% owned in Yahoo! league, 13%)

If he beats the Pats today, they will build a statute for him and he'll become Mayor of Buffalo

If he beats the Pats today, they will build a statute for him and he’ll become Mayor of Buffalo

This weird thing happens every year in Buffalo.  Stop me if you’ve heard this before. Bills start out hot (“this is our Year!” mutters a drunk Buffalonian from beneath a pile of wings).  Last year’s failures are forgotten.  Bills have a big statement win (in September).  Chris Berman trots out his “Nobody circles the wagons” shtick.  The whole City gets filled with excitement…and then [note: Bills fans stop reading] the Bills go 2-6 down the stretch and New England wins the AFC East.  Seriously, this happens every year.

BUT, according to Roid Rage, this year it’s different.  This year really is THE YEAR.  He has the excitement and innocence of a puppy…I just don’t have the heart to break his spirit (and I’m certainly not going to stand in the way of his Rex Ryan back tat).

Having said that, we like what we’ve seen from Tyrod.  He was solid last week against the Colts, throwing for nearly 200 yards with a touchdown and 0 ints.  He also added 41 rushing yards.  You know Rex will be fired up to play the Pats at home.  That means plenty of gimmick plays for Tyrod (yes, the read option is a gimmick).  There are points to be had against the Pats secondary…who gave up over 350 yards to Big Ben last week.  We like Tyrod to lead the team in rushing, and lead the Bills to the Super Bowl (edited by Roid Rage).  If anything, he’s worth a spot on your bench ahead of guys like Joe Flacco and Andy Dalton.

Lance Dunbar, RB, Dallas (17%)

Forget Terrance, Lance will be the main benefactor with Dez out.

Forget Terrance, Lance will be the main benefactor with Dez out.

Yes, yes, yes, we know, Terrance Williams was the biggest pick up of the week, with Dez out for 4-6 weeks.  But don’t overlook Lance.  In fact, you should pick him up right now, because that 17% is going to change quickly.  Care to guess who led the Cowboys in receptions and yards last week, even with Dez in the game?  Lance, who was targeted 8 times, caught all 8 balls for 70.  A no brainer pickup, especially in a PPR league.

David Johnson, RB, Arizona (32%)

You're up, rookie!

You’re up, rookie!

The pride of Northern Iowa, rookie running back David Johnson is in a prime position to see plenty of action.  With oft-injured Andre Ellington injured again, Johnson will slide right in to split carries with Chris Johnson, who is days away from being on the wrong side of 30.  David only caught one ball last week, but he made the most of it, taking it to the house for a 55 yard touchdown.  He’ll get more chances to shine in the upcoming weeks.  Low risk, high reward pickup, especially in PPR leagues.

Larry Donnell, TE, NYG (39%)

Safe. Boring. Money.

Safe. Boring. Money.

Larry’s problem (for now) is that he’s splitting time with Daniel Fells.  He will win that battle, and become Eli’s main safety valve.  Larry burst onto the scene last year with 63 receptions, good for a tie for 9th place among TE.  We like him to finish in the Top 10 again in this year, not bad for only being owned in 39% of leagues.

Go Bills!

Go Bills!

WEEK 2 PICKS / LOCKS / SURVIVOR

ALWAYS. BE. CLOSING.

ALWAYS. BE. CLOSING.

The PICKS
Roid Rage Ginger King Dr. Mike Big Daddy Vegas Vinny
11-4-1 11-4-1 6-9-1 8-7-1 9-6-1
KC DEN KC KC KC
CAR CAR HOU CAR CAR
TB NO NO NO NO
SF PIT SF SF SF
MIN DET DET MIN DET
NE NE BUF NE BUF
ARZ ARZ ARZ ARZ ARZ
CLE TEN TEN TEN TEN
CIN SD SD SD CIN
STL STL STL STL STL
ATL ATL NYG NYG ATL
BAL BAL BAL BAL BAL
MIA MIA MIA MIA MIA
PHI DAL DAL DAL DAL
SEA SEA GB GB GB
NYJ INDY NYJ INDY INDY
Lock-it-up-of-the-Week
Roid Rage Ginger King Dr. Mike Big Daddy Vegas Vinny
1-1-0 1-0-0 1-0-0 0-1-0 0-1-0
KC PIT ARZ MIA STL
Survivor Pool Pick
Roid Rage Ginger King Dr. Mike Big Daddy Vegas Vinny
ARZ NO **DEAD** NO NO

THE ODDS

2015 WK 2 odds

footballlocks.com

Week 2 TNF Staff Picks

The LINE:  DENVER @ KANSAS CITY (-3)

The PICKS
Roid Rage Ginger King Dr. Mike Big Daddy Vegas Vinny
*11-4-1 *11-4-1 *6-9-1 *8-7-1 *9-6-1
KC DEN KC KC KC

Roid Rage is doubling-down on the Chiefs and picking them as his ‘Lock-it-up-of-the-Week’

Week 1 Scorecard

WEEK 1 PICKS / LOCKS / SURVIVOR

NFL Kickoff

Odds courtesy of footballlocks.com

Odds courtesy of footballlocks.com

The PICKS
Roid Rage Ginger King Dr. Mike Big Daddy Vegas Vinny
*0-0-0 *0-0-0 *0-0-0 *0-0-0 *0-0-0
*0-0-0 *0-0-0 *0-0-0 *0-0-0 *0-0-0
NE PITT NE NE NE
GB  GB CHIC GB GB
KC  KC KC KC HOU
NYJ  NYJ NYJ NYJ NYJ
BUF  BUF INDY INDY INDY
MIA  MIA MIA MIA MIA
JAX  JAX JAX JAX CAR
STL  SEA SEA SEA SEA
ARZ  ARZ NO ARZ ARZ
SD  SD DET SD DET
TENN  TENN TB TB TENN
CIN  CIN CIN OAK CIN
BAL  DEN BAL BAL DEN
DAL  NYG NYG NYG DAL
PHI  PHI ATL ATL ATL
SF  MIN MIN MIN MIN
Lock-it-up-of-the-Week
Roid Rage Ginger King Dr. Mike Big Daddy Vegas Vinny
*0-0-0 *0-0-0 *0-0-0 *0-0-0 *0-0-0
*0-0-0 *0-0-0 *0-0-0 *0-0-0 *0-0-0
KC  DEN MIA OAK HOU
Survivor Pool Pick
Roid Rage Ginger King Dr. Mike Big Daddy Vegas Vinny
GB  GB SEA GB ARZ

Week 1 TNF Staff Picks

Football is back!  The road to the Big Red Sports Machine Against the Spread Pick’em Challenge….uh, and Super Bowl 50….starts now!

sb50

WEEK 1 TNF
Favorite Spread Underdog
 at New England 7 Pittsburgh

NE: Roidrage, Vegas Vinny, Big Daddy, Dr. Mike

Pitt: Ginger King

Your 53-Man Roster Deadline Fantasy Football Ranking Update….

….because: BIG RED SPORTS MACHINE!! That’s why!

Pretty, pretty, pretty good!

Pretty, pretty, pretty good!

2015 Rankings: Quarterbacks
Composite Rage Ginger
1 Aaron Rodgers 1 1
2 Andrew Luck 2 2
3 Peyton Manning 3 3
4 Drew Brees 4 4
5 Tom Brady 6 5
6 Russell Wilson 7 6
7 Ben Roethlisberger 5 10
8 Matt Ryan 8 8
9 Matthew Stafford 11 7
10 Tony Romo 9 12
11 Eli Manning 12 9
12 Cam Newton 10 13
13 Philip Rivers 15 11
14 Ryan Tannehill 14 14
15 Colin Kaepernick 13 17
16 Jay Cutler 16 15
17 Andy Dalton 17 16
18 Carson Palmer 18 19
19 Joe Flacco 19 18
20 Alex Smith 20 20
21 Teddy Bridgewater 23 22
22 Nick Foles 25 21
23 Sam Bradford 21 25
24 Tyrod Taylor 22 29
25 Blake Bortles 24 28
26 Derek Carr 29 23
27 Marcus Mariota 27 27
28 Robert Griffin III 31 24
29 Johnny Manziel 30 26
30 Ryan Fitzpactrick 26 30
31 Jameis Winston 28 31

League winner

League winner

2015 Rankings: Running Backs
Composite Rage Ginger
1 Jamaal Charles 1 1
2 Le’Veon Bell 2 2
3 Marshawn Lynch 4 4
4 Eddie Lacy 3 5
5 Adrian Peterson 6 3
6 C.J. Anderson 5 7
7 DeMarco Murray 8 6
8 Matt Forte 7 8
9 Jeremy Hill 9 11
10 LeSean McCoy 11 9
11 Justin Forsett 10 10
12 Latavius Murray 15 12
13 Mark Ingram 13 14
14 Melvin Gordon 14 16
15 Lamar Miller 12 20
16 Andre Ellington 20 13
17 Alfred Morris 16 17
18 Carlos Hyde 17 18
19 Joseph Randle 18 19
20 Frank Gore 29 15
21 C.J. Spiller 21 23
22 Jonathan Stewart 19 28
23 Ameer Abdullah 24 24
24 Shane Vereen 28 21
25 T.J. Yeldon 23 27
26 Giovani Bernard 25 25
27 Rashad Jennings 31 22
28 Christopher Ivory 22 32
29 Ryan Mathews 26 29
30 Doug Martin 30 26
31 Joique Bell 27 35
32 Todd Gurley 32 31
33 LeGarrette Blount 33 33
34 Arian Foster 40 30
35 Danny Woodhead 37 34
36 Devonta Freeman 34 38
37 Tre Mason 39 36
38 Tevin Coleman 35 42
39 Alfred Blue 38 40
40 Bishop Sankey 36 42
41 Isaiah Crowell 42 39
42 Andre Williams 44 41
43 David Cobb 41 46
44 Reggie Bush 50 37
45 Duke Johnson 43 47
46 Roy Helu 46 45
47 Knile Davis 49 43
48 Charles Sims 45 50
49 DeAngelo Williams 53 44
50 David Johnson 47 51
51 Fred Jackson 51 48
52 Chris Polk 48 55
53 Darren McFadden 56 49
54 Jay Ajayi 55 54
55 Daniel Herron 52 57
56 Jonas Gray 54 56
57 Darren Sproles 57 53
58 James White 58 52
59 Jeremy Langford 59 58

'nuke

‘nuke

2015 Rankings: Wide Receivers
Composite Rage Ginger
1 Antonio Brown 1 1
2 Demaryius Thomas 2 4
3 Odell Beckham Jr. 3 2
4 Dez Bryant 4 3
5 Julio Jones 5 5
6 Calvin Johnson 6 6
7 A.J. Green 7 7
8 Alshon Jeffery 8 8
9 Mike Evans 9 12
10 Randall Cobb 10 11
11 DeAndre Hopkins 11 10
12 Ty Hilton 12 9
13 Brandin Cooks 13 14
14 Jordan Matthews 14 16
15 Emmanuel Sanders 15 13
16 Golden Tate 16 20
17 DeSean Jackson 17 22
18 Sammy Watkins 18 19
19 Keenan Allen 19 18
20 Allen Robinson 20 35
21 Brandon Marshall 21 23
22 Julian Edelman 22 27
23 Steve Smith 23 26
24 Eric Decker 24 31
25 Amari Cooper 25 17
26 Andre Johnson 26 15
27 Martavis Bryant 27 21
28 Roddy White 28 29
29 Jeremy Maclin 29 25
30 Vincent Jackson 30 28
31 Larry Fitzgerald 31 33
32 Torrey Smith 32 39
33 Charles Johnson 33 38
34 Kendall Wright 34 49
35 Nelson Agholor 35 44
36 Brandon LaFell 36 30
37 John Brown 37 34
38 Pierre Garcon 38 40
39 Eddie Royal 39 50
40 Davante Adams 40 51
41 Mike Wallace 41 24
42 Anquan Boldin 42 37
43 Marques Colston 43 41
44 Breshad Perriman 44 47
45 Terrance Williams 45 52
46 Jarvis Landry 46 32
47 Victor Cruz 47 36
48 Michael Floyd 48 43
49 Kenny Stills 49 42
50 Marvin Jones 50 53
51 Steve Johnson 51 48
52 Percy Harvin 52 54
53 Devante Parker 53 56
54 Donte Moncrief 54 55
55 Rueben Randle 55 45
56 Dwayne Bowe 56 57
57 Brian Quick 57 46
58 Kevin White 58 58

Safe. Boring. Money.

Safe. Boring. Money.

2015 Rankings: Tight Ends
Composite Rage Ginger
1 Rob Gronkowski 1 1
2 Jimmy Graham 2 3
3 Travis Kelce 3 2
4 Greg Olsen 4 6
5 Martellus Bennett 7 4
6 Jason Witten 6 7
7 Julius Thomas 5 8
8 Tyler Eifert 8 12
9 Zach Ertz 12 9
10 Delanie Walker 11 11
11 Jordan Cameron 18 5
12 Kyle Rudolph 13 10
13 Owen Daniels 9 17
14 Austin Seferian-Jenkins 14 15
15 Dwayne Allen 15 14
16 Larry Donnell 17 13
17 Josh Hill 10 23
18 Jordan Reed 16 20
19 Heath Miller 21 16
20 Ladarius Green 19 19
21 Antonio Gates 24 18
22 Charles Clay 20 22
23 Vernon Davis 23 21
24 Eric Ebron 22 25
25 Coby Fleener 25 24
26 Benjamin Watson 26 27
27 Jacob Tamme 27 26
28 Mychal Rivera 28 28
29 Rob Housler 29 29
30 Richard Rodgers 30 30
2015 Rankings: Defense & Special Teams
Composite Rage Ginger
1 Seattle Seahawks 1 1
2 Buffalo Bills 2 3
3 St. Louis Rams 3 4
4 Houston Texans 5 2
5 Arizona Cardinals 4 5
6 Kansas City Chiefs 6 8
7 Denver Broncos 9 6
8 Carolina Panthers 10 9
9 New England Patriots 13 7
10 Baltimore Ravens 7 14
11 Cincinnati Bengals 11 12
12 San Francisco 49ers 14 11
13 Green Bay Packers 12 13
14 Pittsburgh Steelers 18 10
15 New York Jets 8 21
16 Philadelphia Eagles 17 16
17 Chicago Bears 19 15
18 Detroit Lions 16 18
19 Miami Dolphins 15 22
20 New Orleans Saints 23 17
21 New York Giants 22 19
22 Tampa Bay Buccaneers 24 20
23 Cleveland Browns 20 24
24 Tennessee Titans 21 26
25 Indianapolis Colts 25 23
26 Washington Redskins 26 25
27 Jacksonville Jaguars 27 27

Tuesday Teabag, July 7, 2015 – Jason Pierre-Paul

JPP

Boom goes the dynamite…and long term NFL contract.

That’s right.  The Machine is back with a brand new teabag.  And this one’s going to blow you away (pun intended).  So let’s light this candle and get this party started.

First, happy belated Fourth of July.  The Machine went full ‘Murica over the weekend:  we caught a major league game, drank a wheelbarrow full of beer, and of course, fireworks.  We were a Toby Keith concert away from hitting the ‘Murica cycle.  Yes, we love the Fourth.  To us, it’s the official kickoff of summer.  The days are longer, the beer is colder, baseball is starting to become slightly more relevant, and training camp is right around the corner.  But it’s inevitable that someone will take their love of the Fourth a bit too far, and that leads us to our Tuesday Teabag winner…Jason Pierre-Paul.

Is there anyone that’s having a worse post-Fourth hangover than JPP?  Well, maybe Jared.  Or Donovan.  But JPP’s right up there.  If you haven’t heard, JPP spent his Fourth of July with a U-Haul truck full of fireworks.  What could possibly go wrong?  As it turns out, a lot.  Pierre-Paul allegedly injured himself setting off fireworks, causing severe burns and significant damage to his hand.  The extent of the injury is unknown, some reports say there’s possible nerve damage.  Thanks to social media (and nosy neighbors) we got the play by play.

JPP Tweet

While JPP’s injury may not be career threatening, it’s certainly going to be career limiting.  This couldn’t possibly come at a worse time for JPP.  The Giants designated him as their franchise player, meaning he would play this year at a (fully guaranteed) price of $14.8 million.  JPP has not signed his franchise contract yet…preferring to hold out while trying to agree to a long term deal.  All franchise players have until July 15 to sign a long term contract with their team.  After that, their only option is to sign their one-year franchise contract.

The Giants reportedly had a multi-year, $60 million contract on the table.  Care to guess what happened to that?  Yup, the Giants have withdrawn that offer, obviously wanting to see the extent of the damage that was caused.

Making matters worse is that JPP had some leverage in his negotiations with the Giants.  He was coming off a very good year, re-establishing himself as a top tier defensive end.  The Giants maybe would have moved up their offer a little, in hopes of him signing a long term deal now…but there’s zero chance of that happening.  Even if he plays up to the level he did last year, this injury will just add to the growing list of injuries…which will further drive down his price if he becomes a free agent.  Now, JPP will have to prove himself even more this year.  And if he has to miss any games because of this, his price tag will continue to drop.

Making matters ever worse is he could stand to lose $14.8 million for this season.  Generally speaking, the franchise contract is fully guaranteed.  So, if JPP were to hurt himself in Week 1 and miss the rest of the season, he would still receive all of his $14.8 million.  There is one, minor exception to that rule…for a non-football related injury.  In that situation, the franchise money is not guaranteed.  The Giants could cut him and not owe him a dime.  FYI, this is why players and the league fight over CBA negotiations.

And that’s what’s most troubling at this point.  While reports say JPP should be fine, he’s (a) still in the hospital, and (b) the Giants medical staff has not been allowed to see him.  Those are not exactly promising signs.  Update:  he’s not fine, in fact, he had his right index finger amputated.

Burning Money 2

JPP needs to get over himself and get his ass back to NY for some serious damage control.  Is he going to be ridiculed by his teammates and the entire city of New York?  Yes.  Should he be?  Yes.  JPP can certainly dish it, but these next few weeks will determine if he can take it.  He needs to play the part of the embarrassed, humiliated and humbled athlete.  If instead he takes the spoiled child, I’m beyond reproach route (a/k/a the Tom Brady) then he risks severing more than just his finger.

Let this be a lesson to you kids:  wait until after you sign your long term contract before you buy a truckload worth of fireworks.  Also, find a friend to light that shit up.

Enjoy your teabag.

2015 NFL Mock Draft (Roid Rage’s FINAL)

2015 NFL Draft

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 Buccaneers J. Winston (FSU) QB
2 Titans M. Mariota (Oregon) QB
3 Jaguars D. Fowler Jr. (Florida) EDGE
4 Raiders L. Williams (USC) DL
5 Redskins A. Cooper (Alabama) WR
6 Jets V. Beasley (Clemson) EDGE
7 Bears B. Scherff (Iowa) OL
8 Falcons A. Dupree (Kentucky) EDGE
9 Giants A. Peat (Stanford) OL
10 Rams K. White (WVU) WR
11 Vikings K. Johnson (WF) CB
12 Browns D. Parker (Louisville) WR
13 Saints A. Armstead (Oregon) DE
14 Dolphins T. Gurley (Georgia) RB
15 49ers T. Waynes (MSU) CB
16 Texans D. Green-Beckham (Mizz) WR
17 Chargers M. Gordon (Wisconsin) RB
18 Chiefs B. Jones (UConn) CB
19 Browns D. Shelton (Washington) NT
20 Eagles  J. Fisher (Oregon) OL
21 Bengals M. Peters (Washington) CB
22 Steelers R. Gregory (Nebraska) EDGE
23 Lions M. Brown (Texas) DT
24 Cardinals TJ. Clemmings (Pittsburgh) OT
25 Panthers E. Flowers (Miami) OT
26 Ravens J. Strong (ASU) WR
27 Cowboys J. Collins (LSU) CB
28 Broncos D. Randall (ASU) FS
29 Colts C. Erving (FSU) C
30 Packers E. Rowe (Utah) DB
31 Saints N. Agholor (USC) WR
32 Patriots B. Perriman (UCF) WR

Final thoughts: Buckle. Up.  The First Round of the 2015 NFL Draft is going to be a wild ride!  I can’t remember a draft with this many “wild card” prospects.  Earlier this week I mocked Shane Ray and La’el Collins at 11 and 12, respectively.  Now, given the cloud of uncertainty around each player, I have them dropping completely out of the first round.  In today’s NFL teams are putting more and more stock into the “off-the-field” behavior.  Although, talent trumps all things, so it wouldn’t be a surprise if a team in the second half of the round (Dallas, Baltimore) takes a flier.

The Raiders get the top player in the draft for the second year in a row.

Like Ginger’s Final Mock, I too have 7 WRs going in the first, and wouldn’t be surprised if another one or two sneak in.  I’ve also got 7 defensive backs in the first round, and that doesn’t include Landon Collins.

A few player/team fits that I really like (outside of the top-5) include: Arik Armstead/Saints, Byron Jones/Chiefs and Eric Flowers/Panthers.

Pour a cold one (or two….or ten) and enjoy the Draft!

2015 NFL Mock Draft (Ginger King FINAL)

2015 NFL DraftHere it is friends, my final mock.  Enjoy.

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 Buccaneers Jameis Winston (FSU) QB
2 Titans Marcus Mariota (Oregon) QB
3 Jaguars Dante Fowler (Florida) EDGE
4 Raiders Leonard Williams (USC) DL
5 Redskins Kevin White (WVU) WR
6 Jets Amari Cooper (Alabama) WR
7 Bears Brandon Scherff (Iowa) OL
8 Falcons Alvin Dupree (Kentucky) EDGE
9 Giants Trae Waynes (MSU) CB
10 Rams Devante Parker (Louisville) WR
11 Vikings Todd Gurley (Georgia) RB
12 Browns Danny Shelton (Washington) DT
13 Saints Vic Beasley (Clemson) EDGE
14 Dolphins Kevin Johnson (Wake Forest) CB
15 49ers Arik Armstead (Oregon) DE
16 Texans Nelson Agholor (USC) WR
17 Chargers Ereck Flowers (Miami) OL
18 Chiefs Cameron Erving (FSU) OL
19 Browns D.J. Humphries (Florida) OL
20 Eagles Jaelen Strong (ASU) WR
21 Bengals Dorial Green-Beckham (OU) WR
22 Steelers Jalen Collins (LSU) CB
23 Lions Malcolm Brown (Texas) DT
24 Cardinals Shane Ray (Missouri) EDGE
25 Panthers Andrus Peat (Stanford) OL
26 Ravens Melvin Gordon (Wisconsin) RB
27 Cowboys Marcus Peters (Washington) CB
28 Broncos Eric Kendricks (UCLA) LB
29 Colts Byron Jones (UCONN) CB
30 Packers Bernardrick McKinney (MISS ST.) LB
31 Saints Breshad Perriman (UCF) WR
32 Patriots Randy Gregory (Nebraska) DE

Final Thoughts:  Lots of risers and fallers.  Guys that were Top 10 locks a few weeks ago have fallen to the late first round (Vic Beasley, Shane Ray, Randy Gregory) and some have completely dropped out (Landon Collins, La’el Collins).  For La’el, having to leave the Draft to be questioned in the death of your pregnant ex-girlfriend means you don’t get drafted tonight.  Great value in the 2nd though.

I do think someone will make a trade with Tennessee at 2 to take Mariota.  San Diego makes a lot of sense (especially for a franchise looking to rebuild in L.A.) but Philly and Cleveland are making a real push.  Don’t count Chip Kelly out of this.

For some rises, Kevin Johnson is making a real push to be the first corner off the board.  He is flying up draft boards, and now seems like a lock in the Top 15.  Speaking of corners, the Giants surprise many and grab Trae Waynes.  Reese wants an impact player at #9, and for that reason, I think the Giants will wait to find an offensive lineman in the later rounds (here’s looking at you, Ali Marpet).

A big riser is Todd Gurley.  As teams are getting more and more comfortable with his medical checkup, he is continuing to climb up draft boards.  He makes perfect sense for the Vikings, who (assuming they don’t trade AP) can slowly bring Gurley into the mix.

Receivers should be the story of the night.  At least 5, and as many as 9, could go in the first round.  I’m right in the middle with 7.

Get ready for lots of trades and plenty of action.  We’ll be live tweeting the whole night from The Machine’s Draft Day Party.  And, don’t forget to play our Draft Party Drinking Game.  Guaranteed to enhance your Draft Day experience!

The Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game

Cheers!Can’t make it to The Machine’s Draft Day Party?  Well, that sucks for you.  But have no fear…we got your back with our play at home game.  How can you make the Draft better, you ask in amazement?  By playing The Big Red Sports Machine’s Draft Drinking Game.  It’s fun, it’s easy, guaranteed to impress the ladies, and you can play along at home or at your favorite watering hole.  Here are the rules:

1.  Draft catchphrases.  There are certain phrases you only hear during the Draft.  Why?  We don’t know, but we love them.  For this reason alone, we give ESPN the slight lean over the NFL Network for your draft day coverage.  That, and, Kiper.  Duh, winning!

The following phrases are worth a shot of beer:

  • Raw talent
  • Off-the-field or character issues
  • Live arm
  • High motor
  • Straight line speed
  • Great Value
  • Upside
  • Best player available
  • Intangibles or Measurables
  • Trade Down
  • War Room
  • New Regime
  • Read-Option
  • Edge Rusher
  • Gets to the Second Level
  • Quick feet
  • Plays in Space
  • Chip Kelly Guy (*new for 2015)

2.  Videos/references.  Each of these are beer-finishing worthy:

  • Reference to Mel’s hair
  • Player on-stage photo-op with family/entourage of 15+
  • Reference to Cleveland Browns front office ineptitude (cough, Trent Richardson, cough, Brandon Weedon, cough, Johnny Manziel)
  • First shot of Drew Rosenhaus in his newest client’s living room
  • First player to cry when their name is called
  • Reference to when Tom Brady was drafted (we’ll also accept Brady’s Combine picture)
  • Reference to Aaron Rodgers draft day slide
  • Video of Brady Quinn in the green room
  • Video of Bill Tobin’s infamous “who the hell is Mel Kiper?” interview during the ’94 Draft

3.  On the Clock Chug.  When your team is on the clock, you have to finish a full beer before the pick is called.  Note:  if your team trades down, they’re on the clock twice, meaning that’s two full beers.  Cowboy up, it’s the Draft!

Basically, if it doesn’t look like this than you’re probably doing it wrong…..

Beer Chug

Or this:

Beer Chug 2