BRSM’s Draft Day Drinking Game (2019 ed.)

Cheers!

Can’t make it to The Machine’s Draft Day Party?  Well, that sucks for you.  But have no fear…we got your back.  “How can I make the Draft better?”, you ask yourself in amazement.  By playing The Big Red Sports Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game.  It’s fun, it’s easy, guaranteed to impress the ladies, and you can play at home or at your favorite watering hole.  Here are the rules:

1. Draft catchphrases.  There are certain phrases you only hear during the Draft.  Why?  We don’t know, but we love them.  For this reason alone, we give ESPN the slight lean over the NFL Network for your Draft Day coverage.  That, and, Kiper.  Duh, winning!

The following phrases are worth a shot of beer:

  • Raw talent
  • Off-the-field issues
  • Live arm
  • High motor
  • Straight line speed
  • Great Value/Upside
  • Dual threat
  • System quarterback
  • Pocket presence
  • Plays in the box (hey oh!)
  • Best player available
  • Intangibles or Measurables
  • War Room
  • New Regime
  • Edge Rusher
  • Gets to the Second Level
  • Quick feet
  • Plays in Space

New for 2019:

  • Silky hips
  • Thick frame
  • Backside protector (hey oh!)

2.  Videos/references.  Each of these are beer-finishing worthy:

  • Reference to Mel’s hair
  • Player on-stage photo-op with family/entourage of 15+
  • First shot of Drew Rosenhaus in his newest client’s living room
  • First player to cry when their name is called
  • Reference to when Tom Brady was drafted (we’ll also accept Brady’s Combine picture)
  • Reference to Aaron Rodgers draft day slide
  • Video of Brady Quinn in the green room
  • Video of Bill Tobin’s infamous “who the hell is Mel Kiper?” interview during the ’94 Draft
  • And this:

3.  On the Clock Chug.  When your team is on the clock, you have to finish a full beer before the pick is called.  Note:  if your team trades down, they’re on the clock twice, meaning two full beers.  Cowboy up, it’s the Draft!

Basically, if it doesn’t look like this, you’re doing it wrong…..

Beer Chug

Or this:

Beer Chug 2
Party with The Machine!

BRSM Exclusive: NFL Draft Prospect – Tyler Swart, QB, Missouri S&T

Scouting Profile:
Tyler Swart – QB, Missouri S&T Miners
6’4″, 260 lbs
Great Lakes Valley Conference

2018 Stats:  212/331, 2,936 yards, 29 tds, 10 ints
2018 Record:  10-2 (Mineral Water Bowl Champions)
Bowl Game Stats:  13/22, 212 yards, 4 tds, 0 ints, 1 rushing td
School Records: Attempts, Completions, Completion %, Yards, and Touchdowns

Tyler Swart’s been chasing the dream of playing professional football for a long time.  His family moved from New York to Texas (a/k/a the Mecca of High School Football) when Tyler was in high school in order to give him a better opportunity. And the move paid off. After a prolific career at Division II Missouri Science & Tech, where he set several school passing records, and which culminated in a convincing 51-16 win in the Mineral Water Bowl over Minnesota State-Moorhead, Tyler is keeping the dream alive, and working to get to the next level.  But first, he faces his biggest challenge yet:  an interview with the Big Red Sports Machine.  We fired up the Big Red Sports Machine conference call to talk with Tyler about his career and what lies ahead.

Tyler, congrats on an amazing collegiate career.  Talk to us a little about your journey.

Thank you.  I loved it, and wouldn’t change a thing.  I felt that, me personally and as a team, we fought through a lot of adversity.  When I first came to Missouri S&T, the coach that originally recruited me left, and a new coaching staff came in.  I had to work to gain their trust and confidence, which was an unexpected challenge for me and my teammates.  But I enjoyed every minute of it.

What made you pick Missouri S&T?

I had offers from a few schools, some DI and DII programs, but my other passion besides football is engineering, specifically petroleum engineering, and I wanted to find a school that could further both my playing and academic needs, and Missouri S&T was the perfect fit. 

Who would you say your game compares to at the pro level?

Probably Big Ben.  He’s a big guy, but has shown himself to be mobile when needed, very durable and dependable.  I’m kind of built like him—my teammates call me Big Swart—and I’ve watched a lot of tape of him and tried to model my game after him, everything from his footwork to his arm mechanics. 

What are you up to now?

Well, I graduated this past December (with a BA in Petroleum Engineering, minor in Geology), and since then I’m still in Missouri, working out with the team and helping to prepare myself and other teammates to get a shot at the next level.

What’s been the interest level so far?

I was invited to an NFL pro day in Kansas City back in March.  That experience was incredible.  This weekend, I’ll be at a pro day for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers in the CFL.  There’s also some potential in the Arena League and in Europe. 

Basically, you want to keep that dream alive?

Absolutely.  I would love to play in the NFL, but really I just want any opportunity to play and show that I can contribute at a professional level. 

Best of luck to you Tyler.  If you ever want to make zero dollars, you can come work for the Big Red Sports Machine.

[Laughs]  Thanks, guys.  But I think I’ll stick with football and Petroleum Engineering. 

Let’s go to the Tape:

We’ve watched some tape on Tyler, and are impressed.  There are shades of Big Ben in his game.  He’s got good pocket awareness, anticipates the rush, moves well, throws well on the run, and when he sets his feet and has time, can rocket the ball down the field.  Tyler’s favorite throw is the 15-yard out, and it shows on film.  Check out the highlights at 40 seconds and 1:50…those are pro level plays. Tyler’s challenge will be getting the opportunity.  There are surprising number of DII players in the NFL…82 suited up last year, led by Malcolm Butler (West Alabama) and Adam Thielen (Minnesota State).  Of the 82, though, 0 were quarterbacks.  However, the Eagles just signed former DII (and AAF) quarterback Luis Perez last week, which, as Tyler noted, gives hope that the dream is still alive. 

Mock Draft 2.0 (Roid Rage)

Round 1 Team Pick
1 Arizona Cardinals Kyler Murray (Oklahoma) QB
2 San Francisco 49ers Nick Bosa (OSU) EDGE
3 New York Jets Quinnen Williams
(Alabama)
DL
4 Oakland Raiders Josh Allen (Kentucky) EDGE
5 Tampa Bay Bucs Ed Oliver (Houston) DL
6 New York Giants Dwayne Haskins (Ohio St.) QB
7 Jacksonville Jaguars Jawaan Taylor (Florida) OL
8 Detroit Lions TJ Hockenson (Iowa) TE
9 Buffalo Bills Jonah Williams (Alabama) OL
10 Denver Broncos Devin White (LSU) LB
11 Cincinnati Bengals Devin Bush (Michigan) LB
12 Green Bay Packers Andre Dillard (Wash St.) OL
13 Miami Dolphins Christian Wilkins
(Clemson)
DL
14 Atlanta Falcons Montez Sweat (Miss St.) EDGE
15 Washington Redskins D.K. Metcalf (Ole Miss) WR
16 Carolina Panthers Byron Murphy
(Washington)
CB
17 New York Giants Rashan Gary (Michigan) EDGE
18 Minnesota Vikings Cody Ford (Oklahoma) OL
19 Tennessee Titans Brian Burns (FSU) EDGE
20 Pittsburgh Steelers Clelin Ferrell (Clemson) EDGE
21 Seattle Seahawks Garrett Bradbury (NC State)
OL
22 Baltimore Ravens Marquise Brown (Oklahoma) WR
23 Houston Texans Noah Fant (Iowa) TE
24 Oakland Raiders Josh Jacobs (Alabama) RB
25 Philadelphia Eagles Greedy Williams (LSU) CB
26 Indianapolis Colts Jerry Tillery (Notre Dame) DL
27 Oakland Raiders Drew Lock (Missouri) QB
28 L.A. Chargers N’Keal Harry (ASU) WR
29 Kansas City Chiefs Dalton Risner (Kansas State) OL
30 Green Bay Packers Chauncey Gardner-Johnson (Florida) S
31 L.A. Rams Dexter Lawrence
(Clemson)
DL
32 New England
Patriots
Chase Winovich (Michigan) EDGE

Mock Draft 3.0 (Ginger King)

We’re inside 3 weeks!  Time to get excited.  Also, it’s time to fully open the kimono.  Here’s our complete Round 1.    

Round 1 Team Pick
1 Arizona Cardinals Kyler Murray (Oklahoma) QB
2 San Francisco 49ers Nick Bosa (OSU) DE
3 New York Jets Quinnen Williams
(Alabama)
DL
4 Oakland Raiders Josh Allen (Kentucky) EDGE
5 Tampa Bay Bucs Devin White (LSU) LB
6 New York Giants Rashaan Gary (Michigan) DE
7 Jacksonville Jaguars Jawaan Taylor (Florida) OL
8 Detroit Lions Montez Sweat (Miss St.) EDGE
9 Buffalo Bills Andre Dillard (Wash St.) OL
10 Denver Broncos Drew Lock (Missouri) DL
11 Cincinnati Bengals Dwayne Haskins (Ohio St.) QB
12 Green Bay Packers Ed Oliver (Houston) DL
13 Miami Dolphins Clelin Ferrell (Clemson) DL
14 Atlanta Falcons Christian Wilkins
(Clemson)
DL
15 Washington Redskins Greedy Williams (LSU) CB
16 Carolina Panthers Jonah Williams (Alabama) OL
17 New York Giants Daniel Jones (Duke) QB
18 Minnesota Vikings Cody Ford (Oklahoma) OL
19 Tennessee Titans TJ Hockenson (Iowa) TE
20 Pittsburgh Steelers D.K. Metcalf (Ole Miss) WR
21 Seattle Seahawks Byron Murphy
(Washington)
CB
22 Baltimore Ravens Devin Bush (Michigan) LB
23 Houston Texans Chris Lindstrom
(Boston College)
OL
24 Oakland Raiders Dexter Lawrence
(Clemson)
DL
25 Philadelphia Eagles Josh Jacobs (Alabama) RB
26 Indianapolis Colts Brian Burns (FSU) EDGE
27 Oakland Raiders Deandre Baker (Georgia) CB
28 L.A. Chargers Rock Ya-Sin (Temple) CB
29 Kansas City Chiefs Parrish Campbell (Ohio St.) WR
30 Green Bay Packers AJ Brown (Ole Miss) WR
31 L.A. Rams Jeffrey Simmons (Miss St.) DL
32 New England
Patriots
Noah Fant (Iowa) TE
You work out, bro?

Instant Analysis:  One of the hardest people to place in the draft is DK Metcalf.  DK absolutely owned the Combine (4.3 40!, 27 reps at 225!) and he also owns a lot of muscles (see above).  But does any fan base want him?  Despite the monstrous Combine, the tape is inconsistent.  Doesn’t create much separation, more straight line speed than football speed.  Also, his 1.6% body fat, while impressive, seems too low, and could make him too prone to injury.  Remember David Boston?  Notwithstanding, someone’s taking him in the first round, and he could go as high as 9 to the Bills, or 22 to the Ravens.  He makes a lot of sense to the Steelers at 19, who need to reload after losing their entire offense Antonio Brown and Le’Veon Bell.

Elsewhere, Oakland has 3 first round picks, and they use all three to re-tool their defense.  If they end up with Josh Allen, Dexter Lawrence and Deandre Baker, they’ll get three instant starters, and with the signing of Antonio Brown, trading Khalil Mack and Amari Cooper doesn’t look so crazy.  It’s like Chucky has a plan.

And New England gets a happy ending at the end of the first with Noah Fant, who will try to fill the Gronk void…until Gronk comes back mid-season. 

Mock Draft 1.0 (Roid Rage)

Mock Draft Szn! In less than 3 weeks this mock (and all of the others) will look sillier than Greg Schiano’s latest coaching stint with the Pats. Onto the (projected) madness…..

Round 1 TeamPlayer
1Arizona CardinalsKyler Murray (Oklahoma)QB
2San Francisco 49ersNick Bosa (OSU)DE
3New York Jets Josh Allen (Kentucky)
Edge
4Oakland RaidersQuinnen Williams (Alabama)DL
5Tamp Bay BucsDevin White (LSU)LB
6New York GiantsJawaan Taylor (Florida) OL
7Jacksonville JaguarsT.J. Hockenson (Iowa)TE
8Detroit LionsEd Oliver (Houston)DL
9Buffalo BillsMontez Sweat (Miss St)Edge
10Denver BroncosDwayne Haskins (OSU)QB
11Cincinnati BengalsRashan Gary (Michigan)Edge
12Green Bay PackersJohan Willliams (Alabama)OL
13Miami DolphinsDrew Lock (Missouri)QB
14Atlanta FalconsByron Murphy (Washington)CB
15Washington RedskinsGreedy Williams (LSU)CB
16Carolina PanthersD.K. Metcalf (Ole Miss)WR
17New York GiantsBrian Burns (FSU)Edge

Wait, so Kliff Kingsbury is calling the shots in Arizona now? The same Kliff Kingsbury that was fired by Texas Tech in November? The same Kliff Kingsbury whom was unable to turn college Patrick Mahomes into a household name?! You’re letting this douchebag call the shots? Good luck with that Arizona; we’ll be mocking you in the Top 5 for years to come.

Round 1 TeamPlayer
18Minnesota VikingsAndre Dillard (Wash St)OL
19Tennessee TitansChristian Wilkins (Clemson)DL
20
Pittsburgh SteelersDevin Bush (Michigan)
LB
21Seattle Seahawks
Noah Fant (Iowa)TE
22Baltimore RavensHakeem Butler (Iowa St)WR
23Houston TexansDalton Risner (Kansas St) OL
24Oakland RaidersClelin Ferrell (Clemson)Edge
25Philadelphia Eagles
Joshua Jacobs (Alabama)RB
26Indianapolis ColtsGarrett Bradbury (NC St)OL
27
Oakland RaidersAmani Oruwariye (Penn St)CB
28LA ChargersA.J. Brown (Ole Miss)WR
29Kansas City ChiefsCody Ford (Oklahoma)OL
30Green Bay PackersK’Neal Harry (Arizona St)WR
31LA RamsJeffrey Simmons (Miss St)DL
32New England Patriots
Chase Winovich (Michigan)Edge
Round 2
33Arizona Cardinals
Chris Lindstrom (BC)OL

Then again…

Good eye for talent.

Mock Draft 2.0 (Ginger King)

One week closer, time to update the Mock Draft.  Some new faces (and quarterbacks) in the Top 10.  Here’s the Top half of Round 1.

Round 1 TeamPlayer
1Arizona CardinalsKyler Murray (Oklahoma)QB
2San Francisco 49ersNick Bosa (OSU)DE
3New York JetsQuinnen Williams (Alabama)DL
4Oakland RaidersJosh Allen (Kentucky)Edge
5Tamp Bay BucsDevin White (LSU)LB
6New York GiantsRashaan Gary (Michigan)DE
7Jacksonville JaguarsJawaan Taylor (Florida)OL
8Detroit LionsChristian Wilkins (Clemson)DL
9Buffalo BillsAndre Dillard (Washington)OL
10Denver BroncosDrew Lock (Missouri)QB
11Cincinnati BengalsDevin Bush (Michigan)LB
12Green Bay PackersD.K. Metcalf (Ole Miss)WR
13Miami DolphinsDwayne Haskins (OSU)QB
14Atlanta FalconsEd Oliver (Houston)DL
15Washington RedskinsGreedy Williams (LSU)CB
16Carolina PanthersJonah Williams (Alabama)OL
17New York GiantsMontez Sweat (Miss St.)DE
Latest Mile High Savior.

Instant Analysis:  A new quarterback cracks the Top 10.  Drew Lock is climbing up the draft boards, and some people think he’ll leapfrog Dwayne Haskins.  He seems to be a good fit for Denver, and Elway is high on him…although he was also high on Brock Osweiler…and Paxton Lynch…and Trevor Siemian…and Case Keenum.  Wait, are you saying former players make for lousy front office executives?  Yes, I am.

Mock Draft 1.0 (Ginger King)

[NFL fan, could be you]:  Where the Hell have you guys been?  Aren’t you guys a little late to the draft party?  I’ve seen tons of mock drafts already.  How come you guys haven’t put one out yet?  Kiper already has, like, 20 out.  What’s wrong with you guys? 

[Ginger King]:  While we appreciate the mock draft enthusiasm, note this:  mock drafts before free agency are absolute horseshit.  Don’t believe me?  Look at this tweet:

citing our own Tweets…so meta.

My kids don’t know their street address (or an emergency contact number), but they do know this:  Free agency shapes the draft.  Period.  How many (pre-free agency) mock drafts did you see with Jacksonville taking a quarterback?  All of them.  You think that’s happening now that they just signed Nick Foles and his (allegedly) ginormous trouser snake?  Da Raiders just signed Antonio Brown (and Tyrell Williams).  You think they’re going to draft a receiver with any of their three (3!) first round picks???  [side note: laugh all you want at Gruden and his questionable coaching decisions…but they just acquired the game’s best receiver for a bag of chips, AND have three first round draft picks].  I’m Team Chucky on this. 

And LOL at that Kiper shit.  Our streak of more first round picks right than Kiper (and McShay) is guaranteed to continue.  Book it.

Anyway, here’s my Top 10…just the tip for now…it costs extra to see my full mock (believe me, my full mock is HUGE.  The best.).  Anyway, enjoy St. Patrick’s Day (fucking amateur hour) and make sure to celebrate it the right way (blind drunk).  As soon as Roid Rage gets out of his Leprechaun costume, he’ll post his Top 10. 

Round 1 Team Pick
1 Arizona Cardinals Kyler Murray (Oklahoma) QB
2 San Francisco 49ers Nick Bosa (OSU) DE
3 New York Jets Quinnen Williams (Alabama)DL
4 Oakland Raiders Josh Allen (Kentucky) Edge
5 Tampa Bay Bucs D.K. Metcalf (Ole Miss) WR
6 New York Giants Montez Sweat (Miss State) DE
7 Jacksonville Jaguars Rashaan Gary (Michigan) DE
8 Detroit Lions Christian Wilkins (Clemson) DL
9 Buffalo Bills Jawaan Taylor (Florida) OL
10 Denver Broncos Ed Oliver (Houston) DL
I’m this big!

Instant Analysis:  If you were to ask me one week ago, I would have told you the Kyler Murray to Arizona talk was a total smokescreen.  Now…call me naïve…but I’m totally buying this.  Sure, Arizona traded up in last year’s draft to get their quarterback of the future in Josh Rosen…but that was soooo last year.  New Coach new quarterback.  Simply put:  Kyler’s Kliff Kingbury’s guy, and if we know anything about Kliff Kingsbury, it’s that he picks the right partners.

Good eye for talent.

San Francisco should take about 1 second to get to the podium, as Nick Bosa is an absolute no brainer.  I also think Quinnen Williams and Josh Allen are no brainers as well.  Things will get interesting at 5.  Tampa could go in a number of directions, but this is Jameis’ last stand, and pairing D.K. with Mike Evans would be a solid 1-2 punch (or at least enough cover for the front office to draft Tua next year). 

Speaking of a number of directions, the Giants are at 6 and everyone is screaming qb.  However, David Gettelman has a plan, and that plan involves re-building with a 38-year-old quarterback.  This pick (and their other first round pick) will be defense, as the Giants finally remember a long-forgotten football mantra:  Defense (and Saquon Barkley) wins championships.  I also think the Giants will trade for Josh Rosen.  His price will only go down the closer you get to the Draft, so hold tight G-Men.

Rounding out the rest of the Top 10, the Bills luck out by the run on defensive players and grab the best tackle in the draft with Jawaan Taylor.

Also, this Top 10 assumes no trades.  No way that’s going to happen.  If Dwayne Haskins slips past the Giants, there’s a good chance a qb needy team like Miami or Washington sneak in to the Top 10. 

Mock Draft FINAL (Roid Rage)

Check out Ginger Kings Final Mock Draft and the unofficial (but officially awesome) Big Red Sports Machine Draft Day Drinking Game Rules here.

Let’s get it on!

And now…..

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 Cleveland Browns Baker Mayfield (Oklahoma) QB
2 New York Giants Bradley Chubb (NC State) DE
3 New York Jets Sam Darnold (USC) QB
4 Cleveland Browns Denzel Ward (OSU) CB
5 Denver Broncos Josh Rosen (UCLA) QB
6 Indianapolis Colts Saquon Barkley (PSU) RB
7 Tampa Bay Bucs Quenton Nelson (Notre Dame) OL
8 Chicago Bears Roquan Smith (Georgia) LB
9 San Francisco 49ers Mike McGlinchey (Notre Dame) OL
10 Oakland Raiders Vita Vea (Washington) DT
11 Miami Dolphins Tremaine Edmunds (VA Tech) LB
12 Buffalo Bills Derwin James (FSU) S
13 Washington Redskins Da’Ron Payne (Alabama) DL
14 Green Bay Packers Minkah Fitzpatrick (Alabama) CB
15 Arizona Cardinals Josh Allen (Wyoming) QB
16 Baltimore Ravens Harold Landry (BC) LB
17 Los Angeles Chargers James Daniels (Iowa) OL
18 Seattle Seahawks Josh Jackson (Iowa) CB
19 Dallas Cowboys DJ Moore (Maryland) WR
20 Detroit Lions Leighton Vander Esch (Boise St) LB
21 Cincinnati Bengals Isaiah Wynn (Georgia) OL
22 Buffalo Bills Marcus Davenport (Texas-SA) DE
23 New England Patriots Taven Bryan (Florida) DL
24 Carolina Panthers Frank Ragnow (Arkansas) OL
25 Tennessee Titans Jaire Alexander (Louisville) CB
26 Atlanta Falcons Kolton Miller (UCLA) OL
27 New Orleans Saints Mike Gesicki (PSU) TE
28 Pittsburgh Steelers Rashaan Evans (Alabama) LB
29 Jacksonville Jaguars Mason Rudolph (Oklahoma St) QB
30 Minnesota Vikings Connor Williams (Texas) OL
31 New England Patriots Lamar Jackson (Louisville) QB
32 Philadelphia Eagles Calvin Ridley (Alabama) WR

Instant Analysis: None needed! Get some!

 

 

The Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game (2018 ed.)

Cheers!Can’t make it to The Machine’s Draft Day Party?  Well, that sucks for you.  But have no fear…we got your back.  “How can I make the Draft better?”, you ask yourself in amazement.  By playing The Big Red Sports Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game.  It’s fun, it’s easy, guaranteed to impress the ladies, and you can play at home or at your favorite watering hole.  Here are the rules:

1.  Draft catchphrases.  There are certain phrases you only hear during the Draft.  Why?  We don’t know, but we love them.  For this reason alone, we give ESPN the slight lean over the NFL Network for your draft day coverage.  That, and, Kiper.  Duh, winning!

The following phrases are worth a shot of beer:

  • Raw talent
  • Off-the-field/character issues
  • Live arm
  • High motor
  • Straight line speed
  • Great Value/Upside
  • Dual threat
  • System quarterback
  • Pocket presence
  • Plays in the box (hey oh!)
  • Best player available
  • Intangibles or Measurables
  • War Room
  • New Regime
  • Read-Option
  • Edge Rusher
  • Gets to the Second Level
  • Quick feet
  • Plays in Space

New for 2018:

  • Fluid hips
  • Thick frame
  • Backside protector (hey oh!)

2.  Videos/references.  Each of these are beer-finishing worthy:

  • Reference to Mel’s hair
  • Player on-stage photo-op with family/entourage of 15+
  • Reference to Cleveland Browns front office ineptitude
  • First shot of Drew Rosenhaus in his newest client’s living room
  • First player to cry when their name is called
  • Reference to when Tom Brady was drafted (we’ll also accept Brady’s Combine picture)
  • Reference to Aaron Rodgers draft day slide
  • Video of Brady Quinn in the green room
  • Video of Bill Tobin’s infamous “who the hell is Mel Kiper?” interview during the ’94 Draft
  • And this:

3.  On the Clock Chug.  When your team is on the clock, you have to finish a full beer before the pick is called.  Note:  if your team trades down, they’re on the clock twice, meaning that’s two full beers.  Cowboy up, it’s the Draft!

Basically, if it doesn’t look like this, you’re doing it wrong…..

Beer Chug

Or this:

Beer Chug 2

Mock Draft FINAL (Ginger King)

Let’s get it on!

Round 1 Team Pick Position
1 Cleveland Browns Sam Darnold (USC) QB
2 New York Giants Saquon Barkley (PSU) RB
3 New York Jets Baker Mayfield (Oklahoma) QB
4 Cleveland Browns Bradley Chubb (NC State) DE
5 Denver Broncos Quenton Nelson (Notre Dame) OL
6 Indianapolis Colts Minkah Fitzpatrick (Alabama) CB
7 Tampa Bay Bucs Derwin James (FSU) S
8 Chicago Bears Roquan Smith (Georgia) LB
9 San Francisco 49ers Mike McGlinchy (Notre Dame) OL
10 Oakland Raiders Vita Vea (Washington) DT
11 Miami Dolphins Tremaine Edmunds (VA Tech) LB
12 Buffalo Bills Josh Allen (Wyoming) QB
13 Washington Redskins Da’Ron Payne (Alabama) DT
14 Green Bay Packers Calvin Ridley (Alabama) WR
15 Arizona Cardinals Josh Rosen (UCLA) QB
16 Baltimore Ravens D.J. Moore (Maryland) WR
17 Los Angeles Chargers Josh Jackson (Iowa) CB
18 Seattle Seahawks Denzel Ward (OSU) CB
19 Dallas Cowboys Courtland Sutton (SMU) WR
20 Detroit Lions Harold Landry (Boston College) DE
21 Cincinnati Bengals Frank Ragnow (Arkansas) OL
22 Buffalo Bills Marcus Davenport (UTSA) DE
23 New England Patriots Leighton Vander Esch (Boise St.) LB
24 Carolina Panthers James Daniels (Iowa) OL
25 Tennessee Titans Billy Price (OSU) OL
26 Atlanta Falcons Isaiah Wynn (Georgia) OL
27 New Orleans Saints Lamar Jackson (Louisville) QB
28 Pittsburgh Steelers Rashaan Evans (Alabama) LB
29 Jacksonville Jaguars Jaire Alexander (Louisville) CB
30 Minnesota Vikings Will Hernandez (UTEP) OL
31 New England Patriots Christian Kirk (Texas A&M) WR
32 Philadelphia Eagles Mike Hughes (UCF) CB

Instant Analysis:  Alright, alright, alright.  My final mock draft.  Changes galore.  A lot of noise about Baker to Cleveland at #1, but I just don’t buy it.  This has smokescreen written all over it, trying to get the Jets to trade up for Broadway Baker.  If Cleveland stays put, this pick has to be Darnold.  He’s the most complete package of all the quarterbacks in the Draft.  Maybe Roid Rage will have the balls to go with Baker (he’s still living off his fame of DHB at 7) but my money’s on the Browns picking the surest thing.

While I think the Browns will use smart money, I don’t think the Giants will.  Smart money says take Bradley Chubb, shore up your defense, and then take a running back in the second or third round.  However, I think the Giants are going all-in.  By that, I mean give Eli Manning the last remaining offensive piece for one more run (let’s be honest, Eli’s got 2 at least two years left, he’s 37 people, that’s not old (neither is 39, btw)).  Gettleman wants a gold jacket player…that’s Saquon.  Yes, yes, I know, you can find great value at running back in later rounds.  Le’Veon Bell (2nd Round), Shady McCoy (2nd Round), Alvin Kamara (3rd Round), and last year’s leading rusher, Kareem Hunt (3rd Round).  However, there’s also Todd Gurley, Ezekiel Elliott, and Leonard Fournette, all picked in the Top 10 and all of whom instantly elevated their team to the playoffs.  Yes, you could take Chubb, and then hope that Sony Michelle or Derrius Guice are there in Round 2.  But fuck it, throw caution (reason and logic) to the wind and roll them dice!

Can you imagine???

Elsewhere, both Josh Rosen and Josh Allen slip out of the Top 10, but not too far.  Bills Mafia will have no problems with Josh’s tweets, and will welcome him with open, drunken, arms.  Also, if the Bills can get Davenport at 22, that would be an ideal first round.  I think Arizona is as far as Josh Rosen will fall.  My concerns with him are less his millennial outlook on life (read: spoiled brat hated by his peers) and more about his injury history.  Two concussions in a year and shoulder surgery.  That’s what’s going to make him fall.

Wait, you mean people will hold you accountable for things you say online? I’ll be right back…

Ok folks, that’s it from me.  Time to go to my war room dive bar and get ready with some game tape chicken wings and Coors Light.  We’re hours away from the biggest (non-sporting) sporting event of the year!  We’ve been so geeked up about the actual draft, we forgot to even mention that it’s in Dallas!  You know Jerrah will spare no expense…at the very least expect a Rhinestone stage and (multiple) Elvis impersonators.