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The Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game
The Machine’s Draft Drink-a-thon! Happy Drafting!
Can’t make it to The Machine’s Draft Party? Well, that sucks for you. But have no fear…we got your back with our play at home game. How can you make the Draft better, you ask in amazement? By playing The Big Red Sports Machine’s Draft Drink-a-thon. It’s fun, it’s easy, it’s guaranteed to impress the ladies, and you can play along at home or at your favorite watering hole. Here are the rules:
1. Draft catchphrases. There are certain phrases you only hear during the Draft. Why? We don’t know, but we love them. For this reason alone, we give ESPN the slight lean over the NFL Network for your draft day coverage. That, and, Kiper. Duh, winning!
The following phrases are worth a shot of beer:
- Raw talent
- Off-the-field or character issues
- Live arm
- High motor
- Straight line speed
- Great Value
- Upside
- Best player available
- Intangibles or Measurables
- Trade Down
- War Room
- New Regime
- Read-Option
- Edge Rusher
- Gets to the Second Level
- Quick feet
- Plays in Space
- Johnny Football (*new for 2014)
2. Videos/references. Each of these are beer-finishing worthy:
- Video of Jadaveon Clowney knocking that dude’s helmet off
- References to Johnny Manziel’s height or off-field issues
- Reference to Mel’s hair
- Player on-stage photo-op with family/entourage of 15+
- First player to cry when their name is called
- Reference to when Tom Brady was drafted (we’ll also accept Brady’s Combine picture)
- Reference to Aaron Rodgers draft day slide
- Video of Brady Quinn in the green room
- Video of Bill Tobin’s infamous “who the hell is Mel Kiper?” interview during the ’94 Draft
3. On the Clock Chug. When your team is on the clock, you have to finish a full beer before the pick is called. Note: if your team trades down, they’re on the clock twice, meaning that’s two full beers. Cowboy up, it’s the Draft!
Basically, if it doesn’t look like this than you’re probably doing it wrong…..
Or this:
That’s it. Three simple rules to make sure you maximize your Draft Day (weekend) experience. Cheers!
The 2014 ‘What if’ Mock Draft…
Can you feel the excitement?! We are a mere two days away from the NFL Draft. Draft parties are finalized, Big-Boards are coming together, smoke screens are thicker than Andy Reid’s mid-section, and Mock Drafts are all looking….the same, 1) Jadeveon Clowney 2) Greg Robinson……blah, blah, blah. But the reason we are all tuning in Thursday (thru Saturday) is because the draft never falls the way any of us expect (NFL GM’s included). You never know where drama will unfold, but it does every year. Be it Aaron Rodgers free fall in 2005, Mario Williams going over Reggie Bush (and Vince Young) in 2006, or the Patriots trading up to make Jerod Mayo a Top 10 pick in 2008. It’s reality television that pits your teams front office against the rest of the league. I’ll have plenty of time to unvail my “real” mock draft, but for now I’m going the contrarian approach and asking some hypothetical questions along the way. (Big shout out to KFFL for their Mock Draft Machine).
What if the Texans aren’t sold on Clowney and view Mack as every bit the athlete and prospect. If so, and if he is a better scheme fit than why not make it back-to-back #1 overall picks for the MAC?! Move over SEC, there is a new powerhouse in NCAA Football.
What if the Jaguars are sick of “playing it safe”? What if this year they play to win…now! Johnny Football gives this team instant star power in a way few prospects can. How many seats does Wembley Stadium hold?
What if Mike Evans is the first WR off the board? It might send #TwitterMock into a tizzy, but it wouldn’t shock The Machine. People only want to focus on Evans height and wing span, which are spectacularly awesome, but fail to mention how great of an athlete this kid is. Go look at his Combine numbers, they are off the chart. He is a height/weight/speed freak built to play receiver in todays NFL.
What if the Falcons don’t do any wheeling-and-dealing and land the top OT?
What if Tampa Bay doesn’t believe in the Myth of the First Round Quarterback and feel like this is their only chance at landing a Franchise QB prospect?
What if the Vikings and Bills aren’t bullshitting about their affinity for Donald and Ebron, respectively? Will they put their money where their mouth is and bypass an elite OT prospect in Mathews to get “their guy”?
What if the G-men are content with their offseason offensive line make-over and instead give Eli another weapon? There hasn’t been a shortage of people willing to throw Rueben Randle under the bus this offseason.
What if the Bears and Steelers swap notes on defensive backs this year because both teams are in desperate need of secondary help?
What if WR’s::2014 1st Round as OT’s::2013 1st Round?
What if Miami does something crazy like actually get value with a draft pick?
What if Teddy Bridgewater is as good as we all thought he was 6 months ago? This would allow the Chiefs to let Alex Smith walk after this year. If the Packers can draft Aaron Rodgers with Brett Favre on the roster than this pick not might not be as far-fetched as you might think.
What if Easley, Roby and Matthews turn out to be the best DL, CB, and WR of this draft class? The rich get richer.
And finally, what if Kate Upton does show up the The Official Big Red Sports Machine 2014 Draft Party?
I get all my Draft info from The Big Red Sports Machine.
The Machine’s Draft Party – Join Us!
We’re two days away from the Draft, and the excitement is mounting! What’s better than reading our mocks and visiting our site every day? How about your chance to party with The Big Red Sports Machine during the Draft? Think you can out Draft us? Think you can out drink us? Want Roid Rage to autograph your chest? Well here’s your chance.
When: Thursday, May 8, 2014 (note: if you didn’t know this was the date of the Draft, do not show up).
Time: 8:00 pm to ???
Where: Wintonaire, 628 Winton Road, Rochester, NY (b/t Browncroft and Merchants)
This is your chance to Draft with the pros. We’ll have drink specials, Machine-swag you can win, chicken wings, and much, much more! It’s not confirmed yet, but Kate Upton will be making an appearance. Other special guests include our degenerate friends and whatever cougar hits on Roid Rage. You won’t want to miss that!
I get all my Draft info from The Big Red Sports Machine.
Super Bowl 48 Picks!
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| Date & Time | Favorite | Spread | Underdog | ||||||||||||||||
| 2/2 6:30 ET | Denver | -2.0 | Seattle | ||||||||||||||||
| THE PICKS | |||||||||||||||||||
| Roid Rage | Ginger King | Dr. Mike | Vegas Vinny | ||||||||||||||||
| W | L | T | W | L | T | W | L | T | W | L | T | ||||||||
| 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | ||||||||
| SEA | DEN | DEN | DEN | ||||||||||||||||
Super Bowl 48 Podcast!
The boys at the Big Red Sports Machine breakdown the big game, give their picks and rant about media day. Richard Sherman gives it a 9 out of 10, what do you think?……
Conference Championship Sunday! [Spoiler Alert: Take the points]
This is the best Sunday of football. Hell, it’s probably the best Sunday of the year! Four teams vying for a shot to play in the Super Bowl. You couldn’t have scripted it better this year as there are a thousand fascinating storylines. But it basically boils down to this:
Brady v. Manning. Kaepernick v. Wilson
New England at Denver (-5.5)
The line on this game hasn’t sit well with me…..or the public, as 81% of the money has come in on NE….all week. Belichick and Brady in an outdoor AFC conference championship against an opponet they are all to familiar with and already beat once this year and you’re spotting them a TD?!
The Week 12 matchup between these two teams….which saw NE win on an overtime field goal…seems like an eon ago. Since then, Von Miller blew out his knee, pot became legal in Colorado and Peyton Manning and Papa John built a DeLorean! That game was one of the wackiest all year. The Broncos stormed out to 24-0 halftime lead. Game-flow combined with a Patriots defensive scheme that dared Denver to run the ball resulted in Knowshon Moreno toting the ball 37 times for 224 yards and 1 rushing TD. We won’t see that kind of workload again. I also doubt we’ll see Manning throw for less than 150 yards, Demaryius Thomas and Wes Welker held to 4 catches each or Eric Decker held to 1 catch.
Don’t choke on your pizza!
New England has changed their identity a bit since then too. They’ve featured a balanced offense, with a power-running attack lead by LeGarrette Blount….with a name like that, nevermind. Julian Edlemen and Danny Amendola are nightmare matchups for most slot corners. New England won’t have a problem moving the ball on Denver’s defense. I’d expect the Patriots to follow San Diego’s Week 14 blueprint (the same blueprint San Diego couldn’t follow last week) of ball control, time-of-possession offense while trying to rattle Manning with pressure on defense. Easier said than done.
This game will truly be chess match and could really loom large in defining the Brady-Manning Rivalry.
When the dust settles, I really think Denver has much more firepower than New England. I think Denver wins, but there is no way I’m beating against Brady and Belichick, I’ll gladly take the points.
Prediction: Denver 31, NE 26
San Francisco @ Seattle (-3.5)
The first game is going to look like a hugfest compared to this game. The coaches hate each other, the fans hate each other and the players really hate each other. I can’t wait for the glorious Anquan Bolden- Richard Sherman matchup. Bolden absolutely bullied and abused the Carolina secondary last week which really set the tone for that entire game. He actually lost mind a few times and should have been flagged for head-butting on at least one occasion. He’d better keep his cool because it wouldn’t surprise me if the ref’s paid extra attention to him this week.
These teams split their games against each other this year, with the home team winning each game. If I have to listen to somebody tell me that the fans caused a mini-earthquake on the Beastmode run against the Saint a few years back I’m going to vomit. Sure, it’s loud. And it’s a tough place to play but the Niners aren’t going to be rattled. They are far more dynamic on offense than the Seahawks. The Niners should be adopting a Greg Williamesque mantra when it comes to beating Seattle: “Kill the Beastmode and the body will follow”.
I’ll gladly take Kaepernick + Harbaugh + 3.5.
Prediction: 49ers 19, Seattle 17
Wildcard Staff Picks ATS
| REGULAR SEASON RESULTS | |||||||||||||||||||
| Roid Rage | Ginger King | Dr. Mike | Vegas Vinny | ||||||||||||||||
| W | L | T | W | L | T | W | L | T | W | L | T | ||||||||
| 131 | 117 | 8 | 135 | 113 | 8 | 132 | 116 | 8 | 121 | 127 | 8 | ||||||||
| LOTW Record | 10 | 8 | 0 | 8 | 10 | 0 | 7 | 11 | 0 | 11 | 6 | 1 | |||||||
| WILD CARD | |||||||||||||||||||
| THE GAMES | |||||||||||||||||||
| Date & Time | Favorite | Spread | Underdog | ||||||||||||||||
| 1/04 4:35 ET | At Indianapolis | -1 | Kansas City | ||||||||||||||||
| 1/04 8:10 ET | At Philadelphia | -2.5 | New Orleans | ||||||||||||||||
| 1/05 1:05 ET | At Cincinnati | -7 | San Diego | ||||||||||||||||
| 1/05 4:40 ET | San Francisco | -3 | At Green Bay | ||||||||||||||||
| THE PICKS | |||||||||||||||||||
| Roid Rage | Ginger King | Dr. Mike | Vegas Vinny | ||||||||||||||||
| KC | INDY | INDY | KC | ||||||||||||||||
| NO | NO | NO | NO | ||||||||||||||||
| CIN | CIN | SD | CIN | ||||||||||||||||
| SF | GB | GB | GB | ||||||||||||||||
Straight Cash Homie!
Wildcard Matchup Podcast
2014 – Year of The Machine
While most of you are nursing (or soon to be nursing) your New Year’s Day hangover, The Machine has been busy breaking down playoff matchups, putting together our first mock of the year, and working on all kinds of new things for 2014.
Stay tuned for more of the stuff you love, from the guys you love more.