Happy 2013!!!

The Machine has finally sobered up from one hell of New Year’s Eve bender…and we’re ready to ring in 2013 (suck it, Mayans)!

Get ready for more of what you love…more teabags, more sports, and, something that gives The Machine a raging hard on, the NFL Draft (113 days and counting)!!!

Week 17 Staff Picks – ATS

Games Roid Rage Ginger King Results
Last week (Year to date):
8-6-2 (70-59-5)
7-7-2 (70-59-5)
NYJ @ Buffalo (-3.5) Buffalo  Buffalo
Carolina @ New Orleans (-4.5) Carolina  New Orleans
Cleveland @ Pittsburgh (N/A) Pittsburgh  Pittsburgh
Tampa Bay @ Atlanta (-3.5) Tampa Bay  Tampa Bay
Chicago (-3) @ Detroit Chicago  Detroit
Philadelphia @ NYG (-6.5) NYG  NYG
Jacksonville @ Tennessee (-4) Jacksonville  Tennessee
Baltimore @ Cincinnati (-2.5) Cincy  Cincy
Houston (-7) @ Indianapolis Houston  Indy
Green Bay (-3.5) @ Minnesota Green Bay  Green Bay
Kansas City @ Denver (-16) KC  KC
Oakland @ San Diego (-10.5) San Diego  San Diego
Arizona @ San Francisco (-17.5) Arizona  Arizona
St. Louis @ Seattle (-10.5) St. Louis  St. Louis
Miami @ New England (-10) NE  NE
Dallas @ Washington (-3.5) Washington  Washington
Lock & Load!
RR:  Washington (-3.5), San Diego (-10.5), Chicago (-3)
GK: KC (+16), Arizona (+17.5), Indy (+7)

Week 16 – Sleepers

It’s Championship Week (for most self-respecting fantasy leagues)! Fortunately, even the best teams in the NFL have something to play for this week, the same can’t be said for next week (see: Atlanta Falcons), so you should be getting max effort (hopefully).

I know this repeatative, but we can’t stress it enough: Don’t get too cute! Roll with the squad that got you this far.  Dez Bryant last week is a perfect example of this.  There were questions surrounding his bum finger, even reports of the Cowboys shutting him down for the season.  But when word came down that he was suiting up last week that was your sign to plug him in.  He has been an absolute beast the second half of the season and didn’t disappoint last week with a nice 4/59/1 line.  The point is, we’d rather roll with Dez and his big game potential than a shaky option like M. Floyd (2/39 last week fyi).

But if you’re in a jam, have no fear, The Machine is here!  Now pay attention, last week we pimped D. Pitta to the tune of 7/125/2! This week we like…..

1. Washington Def (17%Y!) – They easily have Top 10 potential playing a Philadelphia team that can’t run, can’t pass and more importantly have thrown in the towel.  Washington’s secondary is abysmal, but it won’t matter.  We like their chances to score a TD in this one.

2. Sam Bradford, QB STL (26%Y!) – He is certainly a hard guy to trust.  The Machine wonders if the Rams regret not drafting RG3…..because they should!  But given the match-up, Bradford could deliver a respectable stat line for you this week.  If you’re in a jam, roll with the former No. 1 overall pick (over the likes of Cutler, Flacco, Rivers, etc.)

3. Brandon Gibson, WR STL (18%Y!) – Well, somebody has to catch all those Sam Bradford catches, right?!  Sure, it makes us a little queasy recommending to Rams this week, but he’s developed nice chemistry with Bradford the last couple of weeks (12/176/2) and TB is a mess right now.  5/75 with a score perhaps isn’t out of the question.

4. Ronnie Brown, RB SD (9%Y!) – All apologies if you have to start Ronnie freaking Brown this week!  But with Ryan Matthews out you could do worse.  A little more appealing in a PPR format……don’t expect more than 50 total yards, and 3-4 catches. 

Others who could come through: Mike Tolbert, RB (7%Y!), Ben Watson, TE (4%Y!), Mike Goodson (4%Y!), Rod Streater (4%Y!).

Just Win, Baby!

Week 16 Staff Picks – ATS

Games Roid Rage Ginger King Results
Last week (Year to date):
11-5-0 (62-53-3)
9-7 (63-52-3)
 
Atlanta (-4) @ Detroit Atlanta  Atlanta  Atlanta by 13
San Diego @ NYJ (-1) San Diego  San Diego  SD by 10
Minnesota @ Houston (-9) Houston  Minnesota  Minny by 17
STL @ Tampa Bay (-3) St. Louis  St. Louis  STL by 15
New Orleans @ Dallas (-1) New Orleans  Dallas  NO by 3
Washington (-7) @ Philadelphia Washington  Philadelphia  Wash by 7
Indianapolis (-7) @ Kansas City Indy  Indy  Indy by 7
New England (-14.5) @ Jacksonville Jacksonville  New England  NE by 7
Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh (-3.5) Cincy  Cincy  Cincy by 3
Buffalo @ Miami (-4.5) Buffalo  Miami  Miami by 14
Oakland @ Carolina (-9.5) Carolina  Oakland  Carolina by 11
Tennessee @ Green Bay (-13) GB  Tennessee  GB by 48
Cleveland @ Denver (-13.5) Cleveland  Cleveland  Denver by 22
NYG (-1) @ Baltimore NYG  NYG  Baltimore by 19
Chicago (-5.5) @ Arizona Chicago  Chicago  Chicago by 15
San Francisco @ Seattle (PK) SF  Seattle  Seattle by 29
 
Lock & Load!
RR: NYG (-1), Buffalo (4.5), Chicago (-5.5)
GK: San Diego (+1), NYG (-1), Minnesota (+9)

Week 15 – Sleepers

If you’re reading this it probably means you’re deep into a playoff run, congratulations!  The best piece of advice The Machine can give you when in comes to setting your playoff roster is this: Don’t Get Too Cute!  Roll with the studs and productive players that have gotten you to this point!  For your marginal players/ borderline guys, check out the match-ups and recent history.

If you’re in a bind (RG3, Dez owners….watch for the inactive reports in both cases) then here are a few plug-and-plays that could help you reach the promised land…..

1. David Wilson, RB NYG (67%Y!) – Sure, a 67% owned player is hardly a “sleeper”, but in fairness Wilsons ownership has spiked 39% this week based on his monster showing against the Saints.  Further, Ahmad Bradshaw has been ruled out this week, clearing the path for an increased workload for Wilson.  Wilson has elite quickness and speed, which more than makes up for his penchant for fumbling.  The Giants simply can’t keep this guy off the field anymore; he can take it to the house on any given play.  Backflips…err…gangnam style dances should be a plenty this weekend!  If you are in one of those 33% leagues that he is still available, or if you are questioning whether or not to start him, hesitate no longer! 

2. Brandon Weeden, QB CLE (13%Y!) – If you’re an RG3 owner (has taken zero 1st team reps and could be seriously limited with a sprained MCL) then maybe you want to downgrade (just a bit) to this fellow rookie.  He is certainly a hard guy to trust (hence his 13% ownership) considering the ideal Cleveland game plan is to run the ball 80 times a game, however the matchup this week is tasty.  Washington’s secondary is atrocious!  They are almost a lock to give up 250+ yards passing.  Plus, Josh Gordon has developed into the player the Browns were hoping Greg Little would become, a legitimate No. 1 WR.  We put Weeden in that Phil Rivers – Joe Flacco – Carson Palmer range; so while he isn’t going to win you a fantasy championship, he won’t kill your chances this week.  We recommend Weeden with a shot of Jack followed up by a frost brewed Coors Light…..(or 12)!  Enjoy!

3.  Nate Washington, WR Tenn (51%Y!) – Washington has had a forgettable season this year, registering only 39 catches for 648 yards and 4 scores.  In many ways, Washington epitomizes that Titans offense this year: awful!  Drafted as a WR3, fantasy owners have been largely disappointed and have rightfully either benched Nate or dropped him altogether.  If you’ve hung on, and are in deep shit at WR and/or FLEX this week, your patience might just be rewarded.  The thought process behind this one is simple.  A. Cromartie (insert Christmas shopping joke here) has been balling this season; his efforts are largely overshadowed by the train wreck that is the New York Jets.  Cromartie should be matched up on the surging Kenny Britt for this MNF tilt, leaving Washington to prey on the rest of the NYJ secondary.  He has shown nice rapport with Locker in the past, so hopefully these to get on the same page this week.  This move wreaks of desperation so sure, but it might not be as crazy of an idea as it sounds.

4. Dennis Pitta, TE BAL (30%Y!) – I’m not afraid to admit this is merely a “gut pick”.  But I’d be surprised if Pitta doesn’t at least match his production (5/46/1) of last week.  Take that as you may.

Others to consider: Dallas Clark, TE TB (25%Y!), Miami DEF (41%Y!), Danny Woodhead RB NE (34%Y!)

Week 15 Staff Picks – ATS

Games Roid Rage Ginger King Results
Last week (Year to date):
6-8-1 (51-48-3)
8-6-1 (54-45-3)
 
Cincinati (-4.5) @ Philadelphia Cincy  Cincy  Cincy by 21
NYG @ Atlanta (PK)  NYG  NYG  Atlanta by 34
Tampa Bay @ New Orleans (-3.5)  TB  TB  Saints by 41
Indianapolis @ Houston (-9.5)  Houston  Indy  Houston by 12
Denver (-2.5) @Baltimore  Denver  Denver  Denver by 17
Jacksonville @ Miami (-7)  Miami  Miami  Miami by 21
Washington (-1) @ Cleveland  Cleveland  Washington  Wash by 17
Minnesota @ St. Louis (-1.5)  Minny  Minnesota  Minn by 14
Green Bay (-3) @ Chicago  GB  GB  GB by 8
Seattle (-5.5) @ Buffalo  Seattle  Seattle  Seattle by 33
Carolina @ San Diego (-3)  Carolina  San Diego  Carolina by 24
Detroit (-6) @ Arizona  Arizona  Detroit  Zona by 28
Pittsburgh (-1) @ Dallas  Pitt  Pitt  Dallas by 3
Kansas City @ Oakland (-3)  KC  Oakland  Oakland by 15
San Francisco @ New England (-5)  SF  NE  SF by 7
NYJ @ Tennessee (-1)  Tennessee  Tennessee  Tenn by 4
 
Lock & Load!
RR: Denver (-2.5), Carolina (+3), TB (+3.5)
GK: Denver (-2.5), Seattle (-5.5), NYG (PK)

Week 14 – Sleepers

Ah, we’ve finally made it: the fantasy football playoffs are upon us!  Gone are the weeks of playing the scab team, the injury-ridden hot mess teams, and the teams that never really had a chance.  If you’ve made it this far chances are your team is pretty solid, and you probably don’t have much need to roll with a 14% owned waiver wire WR.  However, chances are that your opponent has a pretty good squad too, so you’ve got to ensure you give yourself an edge at all positions.  In that spirit, this weeks sleepers are composed of kickers, defenses and guys that you could plug into a flex spot if need be:

1. Cincinnati DEF (50% Y!) – Opponent: Dallas – The Bengals defense has really come on of late, registering 4 sacks in each of the last 4 games.  While Paul Brown Stadium isn’t exactly the most rocking of stadiums, the Bengals should have a strong showing as they battle for a playoff spot and take on a “marquee” opponent.  The Cowboys offensive line is a joke; Doug Free can’t get out of his own way and holds on literally every play (leads the league in offensive penalties).  This glaring deficiency as only highlighted Tony Romo’s careless with the football and suspect decision-making.  Bottom line, Romo is always a safe bet for a turnover or two.  The Bengals have zero defensive TD’s and only 1 special teams TD return this year, so they could be due.

2. Buffalo DEF – (27%Y!) Opponent: St. Louis Rams – The Bills defense should matchup well to the St. Louis offense in this contest.  Like the Bengals above, the Bills defense has come on lately, led by Mario Williams who has 5 sacks in his last 3 games and now has more sacks on the season (9.5) than Clay Matthews, Julius Peppers and JPP.  If the Bills can contain the Rams running game then the secondary could make some big plays.  The Bills also have weapons at KR/PR.

3. Greg Zuerlein, K (31%Y!) – Since when to kickers get nicknames?  Well I guess when you are popping the net at 50+ yards out you deserve to be called “Greg-the-Leg” or, better yet, Leg-a-tron!  While he has been wildly inconsistent in terms of fantasy scoring, there is no denying Zuerlein’s abilities to drop 50 yard bombs in the course of a game.  This is more a play-to-win (isn’t that the point) play, because while he could come up small, he has the ability to lead all kickers in weekly scoring.

4. Donny Avery, WR (29%Y!) – Sure, he is playing third fiddle to Reggie Wayne and TY Hilton, but Avery had 14 targets.  With that kind of action he won’t kill you at the flex; and offers some big play potential.  Andrew Luck is slinging the rock as well as anyone right now, and we don’t foresee the Titans being the ones to slow him down.

5. Martellus Bennett, TE (56%Y!) –  Has seem to rekindled some of his early season mojo with Brother Eli, netting 8 catches for 126 yards and a TD in his last two games.  The Saints have struggled all season against TE’s.  But in fairness the Saints have struggled all season against QB’s, RB’s and WR’s too.  This game could/should go the way of a shootout, so Marty could register a decent number of looks.  A stat line similar to last weeks 5/80/1 doesn’t seem out of reach at all.

Week 13 – Sleepers

In a business where you are only as good as your last pick, The Machine is on fire!  T.Y. Hilton and Colin Kaepernick exploded last week; if you needed them in a pinch last week they more than delivered.  And in C-Kaps case he could be a huge asset during the fantasy playoff push with tasty matchups on the schedule (St. Louis, Miami, New England, Seattle).

The Machine likes these players chances to come through for you this week….

1. Rashad Jennings, RB (58%Y!)  – It looks like a typical December Sunday morning in Western New York as arctic winds and ominous rain clouds move in over the despondent and hopeless fan base. While the Bills have tighten their defence in the last month or so, they are still a mess.  Jennings, who showed absolutely nothing while filling in for MJD (subsequently losing his job to Jalen Parmele) gets a second shot at redemption. He should be able to muster 85 total yards and a score in a game that should feature the run.  A solid flex and low-end option.

2. Russell Wilson, QB (22%Y!) – A rookie QB, playing on the road,  two time zones from home against a top 3 defense.  It doesn’t add up right? Wrong!  The Bears are going to focus their attention on BeastMode, leaving some opportunities on the back-end for the passing game.  The thing you have to like about the undersized Wilson is that he is a gamer.  He has some mobility so he could move the chains a couple of times with his legs.  Plus, if this game gets out of hand there will be a chance for GTP.  Certainly not someone you can rely on, but he could be a sneaky play this week.  Proceed with caution.

3. Brandon LaFell, WR (29%Y!) – The Machine was a big time believer in the Carolina passing attack heading into this season (hey, we don’t get them right all the time).  Cam Newton and offensive coordinator Rob Chudzinski simply haven’t made the necessary adjustments for this offense to take the next step.  That said, there has been a shift of philosophy in Carolina, with the firing of GM Marty Hurney (that’s what you get for drafting Jimmy Clausen!) and demotion of DeAngelo Williams.  The changes and decisions made behind the scenes have resulted in a more wide open offensive attack; with LaFell being a beneficiary, with a combined line of 8/167/2 in his last two games.  LaFell has a great shot of scoring his third TD in as many weeks, as the Panthers take on the Belcher-less Chiefs (too soon?!).

4. Mario Manningham, WR (22%Y!) – Two words: Colin Kapernick.  This offense has a completely new identity and philosophy with the gifted young QB under center.  While it’s hard to figure the niners from week-to-week (see Vernon Davis’s zero catches last week), Manningham has shown decent rapport with C-Kap.  He is a high WR4, low WR3 option this week.

Others to consider: Chad Henne, QB (12%Y!), Micheal Floyd, WR (5%Y!), Marty Bennett, TE (51%Y!), Dallas Clark, TE (22%Y!)

Week 12 – Sleepers

Alright, we’ll get right to it.  Here are you Week 12 Sleepers.

  1. T.Y. Hilton, WR (42%, Y!).  T.Y. has a great match up against a very giving Bills secondary.  T.Y. has quietly put together a solid rookie season thus far (30/455/4), has established good rapport with fellow rookie Andrew Luck, and should get plenty of looks in the slot today.
  2. Brandon Gibson, WR (15%, Y!).  With Danny Amendola out (again), Gibson should see plenty of targets.  St. Louis should come out of the gate throwing against Arizona.  Gibson’s coming off of a 2 TD performance last week, and is still available in 85% of leagues.  Plug him in as a solid WR3 or Flex.
  3. Colin Kaepernick, QB (33%, Y!).  Jim Harbough’s clearly not a “dance with the girl you came with” kind of guy, as he just dumped Alex Smith in favor of the younger, hotter Kaepernick.  Can’t blame you there, coach.  Colin should explode vs. the porous Saints secondary.  Also, look for him to get some bonus points as a dual threat QB via the run (yes, we’re calling a rushing TD).  Hey, dumping Smith may backfire for the Niners, but who gives a shit.  All you care about is getting into your fantasy playoffs.
  4. Charlie Batch, QB (1%, Y!).  Look, if you’re starting Charlie Batch, your team likely has a lot of problems.  There’s a reason he’s available in 99% of leagues.  But, The Machine’s all about finding that diamond in the rough, and Charlie could be of some use today.  Sure, we thought he retired ten years ago, but that just means he’s well rested.  Playing against the Browns, he should be able to dink and dunk his way to 200 yards, plus a touch or two.  If you win with Batch as your QB, think of all the shit you can talk.

Week 11 – Sleepers

It’s hard to believe Week 11 is already upon us.  This is the home stretch as NFL teams and, as equally important, your fantasy team make a run for the playoffs.  Making the right lineup decision, waiver wire add, and final trade negotiation (trade deadlines are typically this week or next) are more critical than ever.  Like a lost soul, you’ve found your way to fantasy salvation as The Machine is here to guide you through the treturous final weeks of the regular season.

Last week in this article we pimped the likes of Jake Locker (122 pass yards, 2 pass TDs, 36 rushing yards ~ 20 fantasy points…..a rather efficient day for Jake, considering he only completed 9 passes), Scott Chandler (5/65/1 ~ 17.5 fp), Danario Alexander (5/134/1 ~ 29 fp).  On the flip side we also threw our trust behind Ryan Tannehill (217/0/3 ~2.5 fp), Taiwan Jones (2.3 fp) and Ryan Broyles (1.6 fp).  We’re not going to hit on all of these pick, obviously, but that is kind of the point.  In most instances we’re identifying guys that are still available on the waiver wire in most competitive leagues (there is a reason they are sitting on the waiver wire) and have a chance to make a difference in a spot start, bye week filler, or desperation flex play.  With that, here are a few candidates that could make the week 11 highlight reels:

1. Oakland Receivers – Poor Carson Palmer, the guy just can’t catch a break.  His NFL career is defined by a gruesome knee injury sandwiched between stints of playing quarterback for the hapless Bengals and Raiders. Palmer has been slinging it all over the field with a great deal of success.  In his last five he is averaging 328 passing yards and 2 TDs.  Part of that box score success rests on the Oaklands inability to slow any one down.  And with the Drew Brees and the surging Saints coming to town expect boatloads of points and yardage via the passing game; this is the highest over/under of the week at 55.  Brandon Myers, TE (38% Y!) has been cleared off last weeks concussion and should be ready to roll as Palmers relief valve.  Rod Streater, WR (1% Y!) might see some playing time if DHB’s hammy acts up during pre-game warm-ups.  Chances are Marcel Reece, RB (63% Y!) isn;t available in your league, but if he is pick him up and start him with confidence this week.

2. Ronnie Brown, RB (12% Y!) – Browns inclusion on this list is based soley on opportunity.  The oft-injuried, ultra unreliable Ryan Matthews is dinged up, again!  Apparenly with a stiff neck suffered in practice?!  Who knows with this guy.  What we do know is that he missed practice Thursday and Friday, but it looks like he might suit up.  Brown should at least spell Matthews more than normal and see a fair amount of work as the third down back.  Sure, it looks as though Brown is running through mud, but he could plod his way to 60 total yards and a handful of catches.

3. Nick Foles, QB (16% Y!) – Love Foles in the first start of his NFL career.  He draws the dreadfully bad Washington secondary lead by the ‘Me’-angleo Hall.  Coming in for a concussed Vick, Foles slung it around fairly well against the boys.  Really, his only bad throw got picked and taken to the house.  Welcome to the NFL kid. With capable weapons at his disposal, Andy Reids commitment to the run despite having a top 3 running back and a full week of reps under his belt, Foles should have no troubles posting top 12 QB numbers, despite a couple of turnovers.

Others to consider: Danny Woodhead, RB (47% Y!), Chris Ivory, RB (29% Y!), James Starks, RB (21% Y!), Logan Paulsen, TE (3% Y!)