Instant Analysis:  Cleveland’s first pick has to be a quarterback, but which one?  Most people have either Darnold or Allen, but now there’s word that Cleveland is seriously considering Baker Mayfield.  They’ve done a really good job of managing the message and controlling the flow of information (don’t worry, they’ll have plenty of time to get it wrong in a couple days).  If Cleveland goes with Allen (or Mayfield – although I’m not buying it) then the Giants will have to take Darnold.  Roid Rage has me sold on Baker to the Jets (I mean, Joe Namath approves), and then I think the Josh Rosen slide begins.

Slide, slide, slippidy slide.

Elsewhere, offensive lineman should dominate the latter half of the first round.  Everyone’s talking quarterbacks (ladies love the long ball) but the hog mollies could be the real story in Round 1.  We’re continuing to monitor all draft news (tough job, I know) so check back later for more mock drafts, as well as our award-winning Draft Day Drinking Game (2018 ed.).

Instant Analysis:  We’ve opened the kimono (I know, it’s huge) and give you our full first round mock.  6 Quarterbacks in the First Round?!?!  That sounds crazy, but not impossible.  With the fifth-year team option for first round picks, both Lamar Jackson and Mason Rudolph stand a chance to sneak into the first round.  The more I think about it, the more Lamar Jackson to the Saints makes a ton of sense.  That offense fits his skill set, and there’s no expectation to come in right away.  He can sit back and learn from one of the best in Drew Brees.

Yes, he’s a quarterback.

Mike McGlinchey takes a huge jump up to Cleveland at 4.  Yes, Saquon Barkley is still there, but Cleveland just lost Joe Thomas and they need a left tackle to protect their newest franchise quarterback.  It’s tough to predict trades, but Cleveland would be in a great spot to trade to someone like Buffalo, and then grab McGlinchey at 12.  Speaking of franchise quarterbacks, the Colts surprise everyone and take Josh Allen.  Sure, the Colts have Andrew Luck, but here’s the problem:  He can’t throw a football.  That’s generally a problem if you’re a quarterback.  Sure, maybe he’ll be fine…or maybe he’ll put you through quarterback hell (again).  Drafting Josh Allen is a win-win, and a necessary insurance policy for the Colts.  If Luck returns to form, the Colts can trade Allen for a bevy of picks and/or players…and if, you know, Luck still can’t throw a football, then the Colts just drafted their next franchise quarterback.

Elsewhere, Dallas will now be looking for a receiver to replace Dez…and they can stay right in their backyard and get Courtland Sutton.

Dez who?

If Buffalo stays put, I like them to go offense with both picks.  Calvin Ridley would be hard to pass up at 12, and they need to strengthen their offense line with both Richie Incognito and Eric Wood not returning (FWIW, I’m not entirely convinced Richie’s retiring…this reeks of contract negotiation strategy).  Regardless, offensive line is still an area of need, and they’ll have plenty of options at 22 for an interior lineman.  Also, can we get a change.org petition going to get Incognito a broadcasting job?  Now that’ll boost ratings!

Are you ready for some football, motherfuckers!

Alright, alright, alright.  Let’s get right to our Mock 2.0.  Some big changes in store.  We’ve already seen some big trades, as the Jets and the Bills are making some big moves, each in search of a franchise quarterback.  The Jets have assured themselves of one of the Big 3, but Buffalo still has some work to do if it’s gunning for a quarterback.  The Giants at #2 and Cleveland at #4 are great spots…but what will it take to get there (answer: a lot).  Also, they’re going to have some competition.  There are teams lurking outside the Top 10 besides the Bills (Miami, Arizona) looking to make a jump into the Top 5.  This will make for some exciting fireworks come draft night.

For now, let’s focus on the draft order as is (predicting trades is like a mock within a mock…and that’s just ridiculous).  We’ll reveal a little more of the curtain and unveil the top half of Round 1.

Instant Analysis:  Darnold took some flak for not throwing at the Combine, but silenced all critics by impressing everyone at his pro day.  As if his performance alone wasn’t enough, he threw in the rain, letting everyone know he’s ready for some depressing mid-Western weather.

Like bad weather, Sam? You’re going to love Cleveland.

Things get wonky quick with the Giants at 2.  I think the Giants would love nothing more than to trade down a few spots.  Problem is they don’t want to drop too far.  Ideally, best case scenario is to drop to #5 or #6, get some picks in the process, and still be guaranteed a top player (Barkley, Chubb, Nelson).  However, neither Denver or the Colts are looking to move up (quite the opposite, actually).  For now, they stay put and take Chubb, who makes a ton of sense, especially with JPP and his lobster claw heading to Tampa.

Thanks for the memories!

By trading out of the third pick, the Colts are gambling that Chubb will still be there.  If not, they will try to trade down, as someone like Vita Vea would still be available in the early teens.

Rounding out the top half, the Dolphins are the big winners here…with Josh Allen falling in their lap.  If the Giants don’t draft a quarterback (they may take Allen) then teams will be clamoring to move up to get him.  It’s unthinkable that he could fall that far, but stranger things have happened.  Remember Aaron Rodgers draft day slide?  He fell all the way to 24.  It could happen (but probably not).

Speaking of the Packers, Green Bay fills the void left by Jordy Nelson with Christian Kirk, proving again that free agency shapes the draft.

Carson Wentz 2.0

Is your bracket busted yet?  A 16 beating a 1?  I thought that would NEVER happen.  Anyway, now that that’s out of the way, it’s time to focus on what’s really important.  The NFL Draft.  First, let’s start with some fan mail (we get so much, it’s hard to keep up, but don’t worry, we’ll respond to all of you).

[BRSM follower]:  Hey, aren’t you guys a little late to the draft party?  I’ve seen tons of mock drafts already.  How come you guys haven’t put one out yet?  Kiper already has, like, 20 out.  What’s wrong with you guys?

[Response]:  While we appreciate the mock draft enthusiasm, mock drafts before free agency are absolute horseshit.  My kids don’t know their street address but they do know this:  Free agency shapes the draft.  Period.  How many mock drafts did you see with Denver taking a quarterback?  A lot.  You think that’s happening now that they just signed Case Keenum?  The Browns just signed Carlos Hyde and are paying him starting RB money.  You think they’re going to draft Saquon #1 overall?  No, but damn if he slips to #4 they should.

And LOL at that Kiper shit.  Our streak of more first round picks right than Kiper (and McShay) is guaranteed to continue.  Just like a 1 beating a 16…

Anyway, here’s my Top 10…just the tip for now…it costs extra to see my full mock (believe me, my full mock is HUGE.  The best.).  Anyway, enjoy St. Patrick’s Day (amateur hour) and make sure to celebrate it the right way (blind drunk).  As soon as Roid Rage gets out of his Leprechaun costume, he’ll post his Top 10.

Replace palm trees with vacant, industrial buildings. Welcome to Cleveland, Sam!

Instant Analysis:  Yes, Cleveland needs (another) quarterback.  Since they also have the #4 pick, they could go another direction with their first pick (Saquon Barkley, Bradley Chubb) and then take whichever quarterback is there at 4.  Sounds good in theory.  However, you do not want to leave the quarterback position up to chance, especially not when you have the chance to pick whomever you want without worrying about what others are doing.  As I’m writing this, the Jets just traded up to #3.  That pick is guaranteed to be a quarterback.  No way Cleveland let’s anyone pick a qb before them.  Bet the house this pick is qb.  My money’s on Darnold.  He’s the most polished, pro-ready quarterback.

Also, this Top 10 assumes no trades.  No way that’s going to happen.  There’s an arms race brewing…teams, cough…Buffalo…cough, are trying to position themselves to get one of the Top 3 quarterbacks.  Some other teams are lurking (Miami, Arizona) that may try to make a move.  As many as 4 quarterbacks could go in the first 10 picks (yes, we’ll laugh at whatever sucker trades up for Johnny Football 2.0…I mean, Baker Mayfield).  That’s going to make for some exciting trades come draft night.  But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

Best. Combine. Ever.

Rounding out the rest of the Top 10, the Giants stay put and take Saquon Barkley, whom many believe is the best player in the draft.  The Giants are pretty vanilla when it comes to trades, especially in the first round.  I don’t see them moving from 2, unless someone really wows them.  I’m talking multiple first round picks (this year and next year).  I’m looking at you, Buffalo!

Power + speed = Instant star

If the Colts can still land Bradley Chubb at 6 (and collect a bunch of picks from the Jets) that will be a draft day steal.  It’s a pretty big gamble…however offense is going to rule the first few picks in this draft, so it may just pan out.

Can’t make it to The Machine’s Draft Day Party?  Well, that sucks for you.  But have no fear…we got your back.  “How can I make the Draft better?”, you ask yourself in amazement.  By playing The Big Red Sports Machine’s Draft Day Drinking Game.  It’s fun, it’s easy, guaranteed to impress the ladies, and you can play at home or at your favorite watering hole.  Here are the rules:

1.  Draft catchphrases.  There are certain phrases you only hear during the Draft.  Why?  We don’t know, but we love them.  For this reason alone, we give ESPN the slight lean over the NFL Network for your draft day coverage.  That, and, Kiper.  Duh, winning!

The following phrases are worth a shot of beer:

• Raw talent
• Off-the-field or character issues
• Live arm
• High motor
• Straight line speed
• Great Value
• Upside
• Best player available
• Intangibles or Measurables
• Trade Down
• War Room
• New Regime
• Read-Option
• Edge Rusher
• Gets to the Second Level
• Quick feet
• Plays in Space
• Advanced Stats

New for 2017:

• Dual threat
• System quarterback
• Pocket presence
• Plays in the box (hey oh!)

2.  Videos/references.  Each of these are beer-finishing worthy:

• Reference to Mel’s hair
• Player on-stage photo-op with family/entourage of 15+
• Reference to Cleveland Browns front office ineptitude
• First shot of Drew Rosenhaus in his newest client’s living room
• First player to cry when their name is called
• Reference to when Tom Brady was drafted (we’ll also accept Brady’s Combine picture)
• Reference to Aaron Rodgers draft day slide
• Video of Brady Quinn in the green room
• Video of Bill Tobin’s infamous “who the hell is Mel Kiper?” interview during the ’94 Draft
• And this:

3.  On the Clock Chug.  When your team is on the clock, you have to finish a full beer before the pick is called.  Note:  if your team trades down, they’re on the clock twice, meaning that’s two full beers.  Cowboy up, it’s the Draft!

Basically, if it doesn’t look like this than you’re probably doing it wrong…..

Or this:

Here.  We.  Go.

The final mock.  After weeks (ok months) of “research” (defined to include watching an endless supply of college game tape with fistfuls of chicken wings and buckets of Coors Light) it’s time to put our “knowledge” to work.  So many questions heading into the Draft, so many rumors flying around; it’s hard to decipher what’s legit and what’s bullshit.  But that’s why we’re here.

The question on everyone’s mind:  Will Ginger King and Roid Rage continue their streak of more correct First Round picks than Kiper and McShay?  Ginger please, we got this locked down.  Anyway, on to the final mock.

Leonard has “Tom Coughlin guy” written all over him.

[looks in mirror]
Cleveland is where I want to be.
Cleveland is where I want to be.
Cleveland is where I want to be.

Big Blue Mauler.

Instant Analysis:  Obviously, this is not how the First Round will shake out, as trades will throw everything off…and we think there will be a lot of trades.  Potentially starting at #2 with the Niners.  I also think another team looking to trade down is Tennessee at 5.  I think there’s no way the Browns come out of the First Round without Myles Garrett and Mitchell Trubisky.  I think the Browns will take Myles at #1, and then find a way to climb back into the Top 10.  Perfect trade would be with the Titans.  Keep your eye on that.

Another trading spot will be the end of the First Round.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see a team at the top of Round 2 (say, Chicago or Cleveland if they somehow managed to screw up and not get Trubisky) trade into the bottom of the First Round to grab a quarterback.  But why would they do that?  Simple.  All draft picks are required to sign a 4 year contract…but only First Round picks have a team option for a fifth year.  If you feel that there’s a player out there (usually a qb) that you’re in love with, it’s better to draft them in the bottom of the first than the top of the second.  If you’re right (and let’s be honest, all GMs think they’re right), you get them for an extra year at a good price.  If you’re wrong, well then you won’t be around to not exercise the option.  Win-win.

Elsewhere, I’ve had Njoku to the Giants forever, and for my own selfish reasons I hope he ends up there.  But the Giants have a terrible time keeping their picks a secret.  There’s either a front office leak, or someone like to hit the “reply all” button on emails, but there have been multiple drafts where teams have traded up ahead of the Giants to draft the player they really want.  In 2012, the Bucs traded up to get Doug Martin.  Last year, the Titans and the Bears traded up to get ahead of the Giants to draft Jack Conklin and Leonard Floyd, respectively, the Giant’s top 2 coveted players.  This year, I think the G-Men are in love with Njoku and (dark horse) Zach Cunningham.  I know they haven’t drafted a first round linebacker in 30+ years but that doesn’t mean they haven’t tried (see Floyd, Leonard).  I think they lose out on both of them this year and “settle” for Bolles, which isn’t much of a settle, seeing as how he would immediately compete for the left tackle position.

Big question is how much will “character concerns” affect draft status?  There are a handful of first round talent players – Jabrill Peppers, Reuben Foster, Gareon Conley, Joe Mixon, etc.  I still think that Mixon doesn’t get drafted tonight, because…um, that video.  But the others?  I don’t think it affects them that much.  That reminds me:  Hey rookies, change your social media passwords today.  You don’t want this to appear around 7:45 pm tonight:

Still a first round pick.

One week to go!  Big risers (Christian McCaffrey) and fallers (Reuben Foster) this week as the Draft starts to pan out a little.  This is about the time where teams use some serious misdirection and smokescreens.  If you’re hearing for the first time this week that Team X is in love with Y player, it’s probably not true.  Teams are always playing this game of inflating players, or critiquing players, in the hopes that the real player they want will fall to them.

Also, Roid Rage finally stopped watching April baseball (it doesn’t matter bruh, check back in 5 months) and posted his first mock.  He brought in some heavy hitters (pun intended) and bold moves.  Go check it out.  But first, check out what Ginger King has in store for you.

Hey, it could be worse. You could be in Cleveland.

A real dual threat athlete.

Instant Anlaysis:  The Browns don’t get so lucky this time…as Western New York’s America’s team, the Buffalo Bills, make a splash and get their (next) quarterback of the future (wait, isn’t Jim Kelly’s nephew in this Draft?)  Anyway, Mitchell to the Bills makes sense.  Tyrod’s essentially on a one year deal, and Mitchell really could use a year on the sidelines to learn the NFL way (he’s not a ready-made pro-product like Andrew Luck or Cam Newton).  Plus, Tyrod and Mitchell have similar playing-styles.  Mitchell is not a pure pocket passer…he ran for 5 tds last season and played mostly out of the shotgun.  Learning from Tyrod for a year is the smart and practical thing to do. [checks Bills coaching roster to make sure the Ryan brothers are not there].  This could totally happen.

Turning to the real New York team, I can’t really envision a scenario where they don’t pick Njoku if he’s available.  Let’s get real for a second.  This pick is going to be offense.  The Giants are returning 10 of 11 starters on defense, and their problems last year were on the offensive side, with a rotating cast of linemen and I almost had them take Garrett Bolles, but there’s no real clear-cut can’t miss offensive lineman this years.  There’s a lot of flyers, and you don’t want to spend a first-round pick on a flyer.  That’s why I think the Giants will wait until later in the draft to select a lineman, maybe someone like Tayler Moton.  The beauty of Njoku (or Howard but I don’t really see him falling that far or the Giants trading up) is that he provides both offensive line support plus a receiving threat.  This 2 for 1 helps to solve the Giant’s biggest need.

Biggest winner is Christian McCaffrey, who vaults into the Top 10.  I’ve heard a lot of rumors about this is the pick for Carolina, and I’m starting to buy it.  Would improve both the running and passing game.  Cam needs weapons, both receiving and running.  The only concern is durability and is he a three-down player.  But the talent may be too much to pass up.

Elsewhere, Rueben Foster and his diluted urine sample continue to fall.  This latest news, coupled with being asked to leave the Combine for arguing with a hospital worker (true story), might move him out of the first round altogether.

We’re inside 2 weeks.  There are some big changes here as edge closer to the Draft.  So many questions, so little time.  But that’s why we’re here.  To answer all your questions, until we change the answers next week.  Enjoy.

Paired opposite AJ = matchup nightmare.

The successor to the Brock Osweiler era.

Instant Anlaysis:  Mitchell falling to 12 would be the dream scenario for the Browns, but chances of that working out are iffy.  In fact, I’m not sure he’ll make it, as there are a few teams (Jets, Saints, and even the Bills as a dark horse) that could take Trubisky.  But for now, we’ll give Cleveland some LeBron magic.  Elsewhere, speed sells, as Mr. 4.22 John Ross keeps moving up and up.  He’d fit in perfectly in Arizona, a true deep threat to open up the underneath for (suddenly old) Larry Fitzgerald.  This, in turn, moves Corey Davis up a few slots.  It’s a deceptively deep draft for receivers, but only 3 are first round worthy.  After that, it’s a muddled mix of maybes and could-bes, guys like Ju-Ju Smith-Schuster, Zay Jones, Dede Westbrook, and Curtis Samuel.

On the defensive side, secondary rules.  As many as 8 cornerbacks/safeties (a quarter of the first round) could go on Day 1.  When you think about it, as the league continues to change to a pass-first offense, defenses adjust accordingly.  Thus, corners and safeties become more of a priority.

Happy April Fool’s Day!  Did you enjoy scarring your children for life by pretending to throw the family dog into oncoming traffic (Sparkles, no!!!)  Honestly, is there a dumber day out there that people celebrate (not including anything Canada celebrates that we don’t, because really, what the fuck is Boxing Day.  And don’t even get me started about Victoria Day.

Anyway, there’s no fooling around with The Draft.  We’re inside a month.  It’s time to get real.  The first wave of free agency has come and gone, and that has dramatically shaped the first round.  Check out our updated First Round.

OJ may be the best offensive player in The Draft.

White Lightning.

Instant Analysis:  Biggest mover is OJ Howard.  Once thought to be available in the late first round, Howard is flying up draft boards.  He’s a two-for one…he’ll improve your passing game and blocking game.  Another riser is John Ross.  Speed sells, and 4.22 is pretty damn fast.  Some fallers include quarterbacks, specifically Deshaun Watson and DeShone Kizer.  Simply put: this is weak QB class, and, when that’s the case, teams are finding that they can get success at QB in later rounds (Russell Wilson, Dak Prescott).  Barring some teams trading back up into the first round (don’t forget about that 5^th year team option for 1^st round picks), I can’t see more than 2 qbs going in the first.

Another big winner is running backs.  The modern trend puts less value on running backs, however this Draft figures to be different.  Fournette is a bruiser (has Tom Coughlin guy written all over him) and Dalvin Cook and Christian McCaffrey are the dual-threat backs teams cream over.  It’s been 5 years since 3 backs were taken in the First Round.  We like the chances this year.