Hell, yes! We’re back, and ready to take on the New Year! Our New Year’s resolution (drink more Coors Light) is going really well. #achievablegoals. And the best part about the New Year??? PLAYOFF FOOTBALL! As usual, Roid Rage will handle the AFC (just put the Pats in already, ok?) which leaves me with the crapshoot that is the NFC.
Detroit @ Seattle (-8), Saturday, 8:15 pm
This is a game of two teams heading in different directions. Seattle is entering the playoffs on the rise. Let’s be clear: Russell Wilson had a down year. He (quietly) threw for over 4,000 yards, but threw a career high in interceptions, and also had career worst QB rating and QBR. Reasons vary for why Russell was off this year…but The Machine knows. Once he got a taste of the high life, his concentration suffered.
But none of that matters anymore. Except the still banging my super hot wife. That’s continues to be pretty important. Anyway, winners of 3 of their last 5 games, Seattle seems to have gotten their old swagger back.
Detroit, meanwhile, got into the playoffs the wrong way. They had a chance to make their recent struggles disappear last week, with a home game against the Packers for the NFC North. But alas, the Lions lost (at home), which capped off a disappointing 0-3 end to the season.
Detroit seems to be stuck in the same loop (sorry, I just got done binge watching Westworld). Every three years or so they get to the playoffs, only to be summarily beaten. Their last 7 playoff games (dating back to 1993), the Lions are a scrappy 0-7. Mathew Stafford has played in 2 of those games, throwing for over 300 yards in both losing efforts. Will the Lions continue in their path of one and done playoff appearances, or will they gain consciousness, take control of their lives, and re-write their story (seriously, go watch Westworld).
We’re not buying it. Although The Machine’s already exposed the fraud that is the 12th Man, Seattle is still tough to beat at home. They were 7-1 at home on the year, and that one loss was a last second field goal.
Here’s another fun fact: The Lions haven’t won a road playoff game since 1957. That’s right, since the Eisenhower administration. And that streak’s not going to end this weekend. Eight points is a big spread to cover in the playoffs, but we like Seattle’s chances. Maybe it’s our East Coast bias, or our general apathy for the Mid-West, but it’s tough to get excited for this matchup. This game will rival the Raiders/Texans for least watched playoff game.
Final Score: Seattle 27, Detroit 17