Ok, it’s taken the Machine all of 6 hours of Olympic coverage to be annoyed (although, the Spain/South Korea Women’s Handball Prelim was pretty sick).  Seriously, the Machine’s all pumped to watch the Phelps/Lochte throwdownn tonight, but guess what, the Machine has an internet connection and that shit happened 5 hours ago!  Yeah, we know who won.  It’s not like the live event was at 4:00 am EST (note: the Machine generally has an east coast bias with sports, people, and life, so everything is measured by EST), the live event was at 2:30 pm!!!  Show that shit live NBC!  That’s what the Olympics are all about…getting to see your country’s heroes compete against the world as it unfolds.  Instead, let’s be honest, the Olympics have never been about the honor of sports and competition, at least, not since that shit’s been on TV.  Now, it’s all about the Benjamins baby.  It’s more important to show the events people want to see in primetime, because primetime = higher ad revenues, which = more $$$ to NBC and the IOC.  If the IOC had the balls, they would demand that ALL EVENTS BE SHOWN LIVE.  Pretty simple rule, right?  But no, what we’ll get live is air rifle, badminton, and cycling.  The events we really want to see (Dream Team 2.0, Phelps/Lochte, 100m dash) will be shown tape-delayed, all so they can be in primetime and generate more dollars.  On the flip side, we do get more couch time with Bob Costas, so I guess it’s not all bad…

Look, we get it.  We understand capitalism and all its beauty.  But there comes a point.  And that point is ruining the sanctity of the Olympics (ok, that may be overreaching, the Machine just wants to see shit live).  Now, all the important events will be ruined because the results will be streamed live on the internet, to your smartphones, and you know some asshole at the check out counter will say “hey Lochte beat Phelps in the 400m Individual Medley.”  Thanks asshole.