Colin Kaepernick wore a Dolphins hat.  This story is that simple.  While the rest of us were spending quality time with family and friends over the Fourth of July holiday, grilling, slamming beers, and wishing ‘Merica a Happy Birthday, Colin was violating the cardinal rule in pro sports:  Thou shalt not wear opposing team’s merchandise (pretty sure that’s one of the 10 Commandments).

Last season, The Machine had an exclusive view into the New School/Old School drama during the Kaepernick/Smith feud, and we learned all about Mr. Ball So Hard.  The young, hip, gunslinger who does what he wants, when he wants, and doesn’t give a fuck, because caring is for pussies like Alex Smith.  Ain’t no shame if you got game (C-Kap you should get that inked).  Colin backed up his actions on the field, captivated Niner Nation, led San Fran to the Super Bowl, and led Alex Smith right out the door.  The loyalty the fans have to Kaepernick now is cult-like.  He’s going to change the game.  The read option will no longer be a fad (note: it is a fad).  Yes, hopes and dreams are a post-Montana all-time high.  So what could go wrong?

So Colin was snapped wearing a Dolphins cap, and the picture (obviously) went viral.  So what?  No big deal.  All you do is simply say you were joking with some friends and put the hat on all in good fun, and maybe throw in some shit that you appreciate (sorry, got mad respect) for all NFL teams and players (sorry, playas or ballers).  Had you done that, everything would’ve died down quickly, and all would be forgotten.  But no.  Not Colin.  Not Mr. New Age Hipster.  Colin is part of the new generation of kids who were raised by parents who probably let him do whatever he wanted, never had to apologize for anything, and who refused to believe he could do anything wrong (“our little Collie would never do that.”). 

Proving that point, in response to the mobs of angry Niners fans who shell out thousands of dollars to see him play, Colin responded as follows: 

This the hat y’all mad at? I’m goin wear what I want regardless of what you think, all you need to worry about is the fact that I grind for my teammates and the 49ers! I plan on doin this until they won’t let me in the building! #ridiculous #y’allmustbebored”

First off, The Machine can’t tell if that’s how he really talks, or if he’s trying extra hard to be cool.  [Note: perhaps it’s a sign that The Machine is getting old, but we thought grind meant something totally different.]  We’re going to have to get up to speed with the lingo.

Second, really?  You’re going to pick this moment to send a big f-you to your fan base.  How about you wait until they’re riding your ass for having a bad game.  Then you can hit them with the old “I give you 100%” I mean “I grind for my teammates.”  You feeling me, brah? 

On Monday, after Colin [read: Niners PR Dept.] had time to think about his actions some more, he posted a picture of himself on his Instagram account wearing Nines gear, but he couldn’t help sending out a dig to the Niners faithful, tweeting:  “It’s just swag. It ain’t never hurt nobody.”  The Machine will look past the double negative, but that’s about all. 

For starters, doesn’t having an Instagram account negate your street cred?  “Yo playas, check out dis fresh Niners cap…and pictures of cats!”

What’s even more incredulous, is that there are folks in the media defending Karpernick’s actions.  Les Carpenter at Yahoo! Sports argues that Colin has the right to wear a Dolphins hat, and that team loyalty is a farce, especially considering as soon as he can no longer play QB at a high level, the Niners will dumb his ass.  Kevin Lynch goes one step further, saying that Colin “was right” for his go f yourself tweets to Niners fans.  Kevin also notes that Alex Smith used to wear a Padres hat (his favorite baseball team) until the San Francisco fans and media got on his case.  Then, he wore a Giants hat.  Ah, such simpler times.

Les is right that team loyalty is a farce.  NFL players are, in the eyes of NFL owners, replaceable widgets with a (short) shelf life.  They’re an investment, and as soon as that investment stops yeilding returns, it’s dumped.  However, both Les and Kevin are missing the point.  It’s not about team loyalty…it’s about fan loyalty.

As an NFL player, one thing you know is this:  NFL fans are bat-shit crazy.  Like Anna Benson crazy.  Like getting tattoos of team mascots, converting school buses into mobile man-caves, and getting married in the stadium parking lot at halftime so you can catch the third quarter crazy.  To see their star player wearing an opposing team’s hat is an act of defiance, treason, and blasphemy.  It’s just something you don’t do.

This rule applies more so if you’re the quarterback, the leader of the team.  Obviously, the NFL old guard (Brady, Brees, any Manning) understands this rule, and even some of the new guys (Luck, RGIII, Russell Wilson) get it.  But Colin clearly does not.  His Allen Iverson “we talkin’ ‘bout practice” approach to quarterbacking won’t cut it.  As the quarterback, it’s not just how you perform on Sunday (sorry, how you ball).  You are the face of the franchise, the person the team builds around.  You are held to a higher standard.

And the media coddling him and explaining away his douchness isn’t going to help him change.  They should be riding his ass, not apologizing for him like a suburban helicopter parent (“it’s the teacher’s fault he’s not paying attention”). 

Colin:  man up, brah.  Your brashness on the field cannot transfer over to the fans off it.  You can still play your way AND show some humility…they’re not mutually exclusive.  Granted, as soon as you torch Green Bay at home in Week 1, all will be forgotten.  The problem is if you don’t get the Niners back to the Super Bowl (and win).  Then no one will forget.

Enjoy your teabag, beyotch, and get rid of your Instagram account. #lame #youlovecats