Tuesday Teabag, September 25

As much as we’d love to carve the name ‘John Abraham’ into a freshly lacquered Tuesday Teabag Award for his double obstruction dandy last night, we can no longer endorse the 4 million pound gorilla hanging from our flat screen TV every Sunday, Monday and Thursday: The Replacement Referee’s.  These guys have run away, in Usian Bolt fashion, with the title of biggest idiots on TV; which is no small task considering the field includes ESPN’s First Takers, the Kardashian trainwreck, and The Peoples Court participants! 

Listen guys, we had your back, we really did.  It was but two weeks ago that we carpet bombed the NFL announcers for their relentless critique of every call/non-call.  And while the games didn’t have the same flow to them, by and large they were tolerable.  We can live with the ball being miss-spotted occasionally; or with defensive backs mugging receivers beyond 5 yards; or coaches getting extra timeouts and replay reviews; or a few unnoticed chop blocks; or receivers and quarterbacks getting their heads taken off without a flag.  Hell, it’s kind of like watching a game from the 70’s.  BUT we have to draw the line with last night’s game-deciding “simultaneous possession” horseshit!  What are you jackasses looking at?!  Okay, Golden Tate’s pass interference was overtly blatant, but I can see swallowing the whistle on that.  But how the hell can you tell me Jennings didn’t cleanly intercept that ball only to have Golden Taint throw an arm around him after he was down?! Get up off your knees, you guys blew this game.  Maybe this gig wasn’t all you thought it was be cracked up to be and you gave yourself an out.  Or maybe you just really are in over your heads and this was bound to happen and will continue to happen as long as you’re on the field. 

Bottom line, we need to go back to hating on the regular referees as soon as possible.  Roger, I know there are few things in life as thrilling and satisfying as crushing a union, but these ass clowns are turning the shield into a California dumpster fire.  End the insanity!  Until then, we can’t promise that these dickholes won’t win multiple Teabag Awards.


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