{"id":876,"date":"2013-06-26T09:56:08","date_gmt":"2013-06-26T13:56:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bigredsportsmachine.com\/?p=876"},"modified":"2013-06-26T09:56:08","modified_gmt":"2013-06-26T13:56:08","slug":"tuesday-teabag-june-25-2013-serena-williams","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/?p=876","title":{"rendered":"Tuesday Teabag, June 25, 2013 – Serena Williams"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Destroying<\/a>

Destroying a tennis ball and a family all at the same time.<\/p><\/div>\n

What is it about athletes that make them completely self-absorbed assholes?\u00a0 Is it the unlimited amounts of fame, power, and money?\u00a0 Rhetorical question (note: if The Machine had unlimited amounts of fame, power, and money, we\u2019d be even bigger d-bags).\u00a0 Also, why do they think they\u2019re experts on everything, and can say and do whatever they want with no repercussions?\u00a0 Probably that whole fame, power, and money thing, plus the fact that no one ever tells them no.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Did anyone think Lenny Dykstra\u2019s investment management business was going to succeed?\u00a0 How about Curt Schilling\u2019s video game company?\u00a0 Should Michael Jordan be making high-level basketball decisions (two words:\u00a0 Kwame Brown), and what the fuck is Dennis Rodman doing in North Korea?\u00a0 Update:\u00a0 Lenny just got released from prison for serving time for bankruptcy fraud, Curt\u2019s video game company, 38 Studios, has declared bankruptcy, MJ continues to run the Charlotte Bobcats into the ground (seriously, just look at their roster), and the Worm\u2026well, he just may be brokering a peace treaty with Kim Jung-un.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s next?\u00a0 Well, The Machine\u2019s hoping to add \u201cSlap a Ho: \u00a0A Guide to Finding Mrs. Right\u201d by Pacman Jones to our summer reading list.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Anywho, it\u2019s this total lack of self-awareness that brings Serena Williams into our crosshairs.\u00a0 Serena is currently the best women\u2019s tennis player on the planet, and will likely go down as one of the all-time greats (she\u2019s an obvious Top 5 and likely Top 3).\u00a0 But her success on the court has not translated to success off the court.\u00a0 In fact, off the court she\u2019s a hot mess.\u00a0 Recently, she sat down for an interview with Rolling Stone<\/a>, where she let loose on a barrage of crazy talk.\u00a0 Here\u2019s her comments on the Steubenville Rape Case.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think it was fair, what they [the convicted rapists] got?\u00a0 They did something stupid, but I don’t know.\u00a0 I’m not blaming the girl, but if you’re a 16-year-old and you’re drunk like that, your parents should teach you:\u00a0 Don’t take drinks from other people.\u00a0 She’s 16, why was she that drunk where she doesn’t remember?\u00a0 It could have been much worse.\u00a0 She’s lucky.\u00a0 Obviously, I don’t know, maybe she wasn’t a virgin, but she shouldn’t have put herself in that position, unless they slipped her something, then that’s different.\u201d<\/p>\n

First of all, what the what?\u00a0 Did you just say the 16 year old\u00a0rape victim was lucky and put herself in that situation?\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 Obviously, this was instantly met with harsh criticism, forcing her into spin mode, where she issued an \u201capology\u201d which of course means she didn\u2019t apologize at all, saying:\u00a0 “What was written — what I supposedly said — is insensitive and hurtful, and I by no means would say or insinuate that she was at all to blame.”\u00a0 Notice the complete dickishness of this apology.\u00a0 What she supposedly said?\u00a0 Did she say it or not?\u00a0 This is the typical athlete \u201ctaken out of context\u201d \u201cI\u2019m sorry for getting caught and not what I did\u201d apology.\u00a0 It rings completely hollow.\u00a0 Note:\u00a0 Serena (read: her PR team) has since issued a second apology, this time a real one, and she also reached out to the victim and her family (a well-orchestrated, albeit completely transparent, PR move).\u00a0 Sorry, too little too late.\u00a0 As a general rule, if you have to apologize two times for the same thing, you really fucked up.\u00a0<\/p>\n

In the same interview, Serena also imparted some relationship advice.\u00a0 This is where the story gets good, and by good, we mean Jerry Springer good.\u00a0 Referring to Maria Sharapova (who\u2019s dating Serena\u2019s ex), Serena\u2019s claws came out.\u00a0 \u201cShe begins every interview with `I’m so happy. I’m so lucky’ \u2013 it’s so boring. She\u2019s still not going to be invited to the cool parties. And, hey, if she wants to be with the guy with a black heart, go for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Meow!\u00a0 Bitter much?\u00a0 You\u2019re the best tennis player in the world, yet you just went high school drama on another girl.\u00a0 And, not get invited to the cool parties?\u00a0 Really?\u00a0 You\u2019re a Jehovah\u2019s witness and don\u2019t drink, we\u2019re pretty sure the parties you\u2019re at aren\u2019t cool.<\/p>\n

\"Serena,<\/a>

Serena, you just got served.<\/p><\/div>\n

Sharapova, who\u2019s a diva in her own right, did not take the comments lightly.\u00a0 Maria upped the bitchy high school girl fight and called out Serena for playing homewrecker.\u00a0 Watch it here<\/a>.\u00a0 \u201cIf she wants to talk about something personal, maybe she should talk about her relationship and her boyfriend that was married and is getting a divorce and has kids.\u201d \u00a0We were waiting for the Wimbledon press corps to bust out the \u201cJerry, Jerry, Jerry!\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh hell no.\u00a0 So you\u2019re banging your (married) tennis coach, yet find it appropriate to comment on who other people are dating?\u00a0 This is the height of the self-absorbed athlete that thinks they are above reproach.\u00a0 In response, Serena suddenly got quiet, saying that \u201cI definitely like to keep my personal life personal.\u201d\u00a0 Oh, so go ahead and shine the spotlight on other people\u2019s personal lives (and a 16-year-old rape victim), but when the light comes back on you, suddenly it\u2019s a private matter.<\/p>\n

Look, if we want tips on how to rip a forehand winner, or blast a serve, we\u2019ll go right to you.\u00a0 But please, know your roll.\u00a0 Because you\u2019re good at tennis doesn\u2019t make you an expert off the court, certainly not as a rape crisis counselor and definitely not a relationship expert, particularly given your recent family intervention skills (here\u2019s hoping the US Open crowd chants \u201chomewrecker\u201d\u2026we\u2019d say Wimbledon but the Brits are too high brow for that).\u00a0 Perhaps they\u2019ll chant [cue: snobbish British voice] \u201cDwelling Disturber.\u201d<\/p>\n

The problem, however, is this:\u00a0 we love it when athletes do this.\u00a0 It sells magazines and creates headlines.\u00a0 It makes us think:\u00a0 hey, they\u2019re just like us.\u00a0 So the next time you\u2019re up in the tree spying on your ex having dinner or washing her hair, relax, and take comfort that there are professional athletes doing the same thing.\u00a0 So, I guess we\u2019re somewhat to blame for encouraging this behavior.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When will it stop?\u00a0 Never.\u00a0 We just pre-ordered our copy of \u201cSlap a Ho.\u201d<\/p>\n

Enjoy your teabag.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What is it about athletes that make them completely self-absorbed assholes?\u00a0 Is it the unlimited amounts of fame, power, and money?\u00a0 Rhetorical question (note: if The Machine had unlimited amounts of fame, power, and money, we\u2019d be even bigger d-bags).\u00a0 … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-876","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tuesday-teabag"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Bp3y-e8","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/876","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=876"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/876\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":879,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/876\/revisions\/879"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=876"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=876"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=876"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}