{"id":865,"date":"2013-06-19T08:44:15","date_gmt":"2013-06-19T12:44:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bigredsportsmachine.com\/?p=865"},"modified":"2013-06-20T14:30:53","modified_gmt":"2013-06-20T18:30:53","slug":"tuesday-teabag-june-19-2013-lolo-jones","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/?p=865","title":{"rendered":"Tuesday Teabag, June 18, 2013 – Lolo Jones"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"lolo\"<\/a>

Look at me I’m pretty…good at not winning Olympic medals.<\/p><\/div>\n

The Machine\u2019s back with a fully loaded Tuesday Teabag.\u00a0 So many newsworthy stories.\u00a0 HMTs (Honorable Mention Teabags) go to Phil Mickleson for ripping our hearts out and ruining our Father\u2019s Day (again).\u00a0 FYI, The Machine LOVES Lefty, and we\u2019ll always pull for him.\u00a0 Also, Aaron Hernandez.\u00a0 The Machine\u2019s not quite sure exactly what happened, but there\u2019s a dead body near his house and the po-po in his driveway.\u00a0 Not the best offseason for him.\u00a0 Stay tuned.<\/p>\n

But\u00a0this weeks\u2019 Tuesday Teabag goes to Lolo Jones.\u00a0 We thought Lolo used her 15 minutes of fame with her two (failed) Olympics and constant talk of her virginity and Christian values, all the while posing seductively for the camera.\u00a0 But apparently, she didn\u2019t get the memo.\u00a0 For those of you who aren\u2019t familiar with Lolo, click here<\/a>.\u00a0 She\u2019s an Olympic hurdler and sprinter, and has made a lot of money in endorsements, whose company logos are prominently displayed on her website.\u00a0 However, one little problem:\u00a0 she\u2019s not really good.\u00a0 Although favored to win in both the Beijing and London Olympics, she failed to win a medal, yet still dominated the headlines with her uncanny ability to make everyone look at her all the time.\u00a0 Did I mention she\u2019s hot?\u00a0 This angered other members of the U.S. Women\u2019s Track and Field Team, who actually did win medals yet were overshadowed<\/a> by Lolo and her antics.\u00a0<\/p>\n

In her latest effort to reinvent (read: draw attention) to herself, Lolo decided to try her hand in the Winter Olympics by becoming a member of the U.S. Women\u2019s Bobsled Team.\u00a0 Fine.\u00a0 She\u2019s obviously a talented athlete, and if you she can make the team, more power to her.\u00a0 However, Lolo\u2019s problem is that it\u2019s never about the sport.\u00a0 It\u2019s all about her.\u00a0 She\u2019s the J-lo of women\u2019s athletics.\u00a0 But that\u2019s not really fair to J-lo\u2026even J-lo had some hits (we loved her in Maid in Manhattan).\u00a0 Lolo is just a (very) attractive athlete and, in the world of sports, especially women\u2019s sports, beauty trumps talent.<\/p>\n

So how was her Diva approach to sports going to work in a sport whose athletes are nameless and humble?\u00a0 Exactly like you thought it would.\u00a0 On Monday, Lolo dipped into her bag of \u201clook at me\u201d tricks and tweeted a video showing her paycheck from the U.S. Bobsled Team for $741.86.\u00a0 \u201cSeven months with bobsled season. \u00a0The whole season. \u00a0That’s it.\u201d she bemoans, adding, \u201cI’m going to be a little late on my rent this month.\u201d<\/p>\n

Clearly, no one\u2019s getting rich by bobsledding.\u00a0 We think the average bobsledder actually works at Home Depot.\u00a0 They are nameless athletes that have little to no endorsements, and train non-stop for a chance every four years to make the Olympics.\u00a0 No, a sport like bobsledding, people do it for the love of the sport.\u00a0 Except if you\u2019re Lolo.\u00a0 Then you do it for the love of yourself.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Not surprisingly, Lolo\u2019s insulting comments were not well received by her bobsledding companions.\u00a0 \u201cIt wasn\u2019t taken very well,\u201d Steve Holcomb (the MJ of U.S Bobsledding) understatedly said to USA Today. \u201cPeople were really kind of insulted. You just made $741, more than most athletes in the sport. So what are you complaining about?\u201d<\/p>\n

Exactly.\u00a0 What is she complaining about?\u00a0 It\u2019s simple.\u00a0 In track and field, she gets all the<\/p>\n

\"Chastity<\/a>

Chastity belt not securely fastened here.<\/p><\/div>\n

attention and multi-million dollar endorsements, even if she doesn\u2019t perform well at the Olympics.\u00a0 She dominates the headlines, and loves to stoke the fire by (tastefully) poseing nude while telling the world how proud she is to be a virgin and a Christian.\u00a0 She\u2019s as annoying about this as Tim Tebow.\u00a0 Actually, she\u2019s a lot like Tebow.<\/p>\n

So, imagine her horror when she announces her bobsledding plan and it\u2019s met with crickets.\u00a0 No one cares.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because you can\u2019t wear a bikini in bobsledding.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Looks can only carry you so far, even in our image-obsessed culture.\u00a0 You are super-hot but also super-annoying, and, without any real success, that act gets tired (see Tim Tebow).\u00a0 You want to get back in The Machine\u2019s good graces?\u00a0 Shut your mouth, make the Olympic bobsled team, and win a medal.\u00a0 It\u2019s that simple.\u00a0 No more interviews about the \u201cgift\u201d you want to give your husband, or how it\u2019s so hard to find a guy that doesn\u2019t want to have sex (newsflash, like Bigfoot and nutritious fast-food, that doesn\u2019t exist).\u00a0 Just shut up and play.<\/p>\n

However, given her past, that will be difficult, if not impossible, to achieve.\u00a0 At 30 years old, it will be hard for her to get back to the Summer Olympics, so this may be her last chance at Olympic success.\u00a0 If she fails, she\u2019ll have to go back to the drawing board for attention.\u00a0 Having no Olympics to draw attention to her, she\u2019ll have to resort to other means.\u00a0 The Machine\u2019s money is that she\u2019ll pose for Playboy, which is totally fine.\u00a0 The pictures don\u2019t talk.<\/p>\n

Enjoy your teabag.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Machine\u2019s back with a fully loaded Tuesday Teabag.\u00a0 So many newsworthy stories.\u00a0 HMTs (Honorable Mention Teabags) go to Phil Mickleson for ripping our hearts out and ruining our Father\u2019s Day (again).\u00a0 FYI, The Machine LOVES Lefty, and we\u2019ll always … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-865","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tuesday-teabag"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Bp3y-dX","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/865","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=865"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/865\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":870,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/865\/revisions\/870"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=865"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=865"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=865"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}