![\"Tyrann](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bigredsportsmachine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Tyrann-Mathieu.jpg?ssl=1\")
<\/a><\/b><\/p>\nTyrann is in the process of the biggest job interview ever, as the NFL Draft is a mere 9 days away.\u00a0 Known as the Honey Badger, Tyrann was on top of the world at the end of the 2011 season.\u00a0 He won the Chuck Bednarik Award (given to the best defensive player in college football) and was a Heisman Trophy finalist.\u00a0 Then, it all went up in smoke.\u00a0<\/p>\n
He was kicked off the team in August, 2012 just before the season was to begin, allegedly for failing multiple drug tests.\u00a0 Confirming those allegations, Tyrann was then arrested in October for possession of marijuana.\u00a0 He\u2019s since spent the last 6 months rehabilitating his image (read: hired an agent and PR team to convince people he\u2019s a changed man).\u00a0 And, for the most part, it\u2019s working.\u00a0 Scouts have him ranked as early as the second round (still a ways away from a Top 5 pick he could\u2019ve been).<\/p>\n
So, it came as a surprise when he recently acknowledged that he \u201cstopped counting after 10\u201d when asked how many drug tests he failed at LSU.\u00a0 First, make no mistake about it:\u00a0 The Machine wants to party with Tyrann Mathieu.\u00a0 Put The Machine together with Tyrann, it doesn\u2019t matter where\u2014it can be on Bourbon Street, an Applebee\u2019s in Middle America, or any place with a karaoke machine, and It. Would. Be. Epic.\u00a0 But come on, Tyrann\u2026you\u2019re this close to convincing people you\u2019ve truly changed, and that handing you millions of dollars will in no way result in you buying trash bags full of government-grade herb (wink).\u00a0 Write this next sentence down as the response to any question asked of you between now and April 25:\u00a0 I\u2019m not focused on the past; I\u2019m looking forward to the future.\u00a0 Drawing more attention to your checkered past is not the way to go, unless you\u2019re looking to fall further down the draft board.<\/p>\n
Carlos Quentin In case you\u2019ve been too caught up in your Draft Board to notice (guilty as charged) the baseball season has started.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry, in just five short months baseball will become relevant.\u00a0 Hang in there.\u00a0 Until then, its usefulness will be relegated to the occasional teabag, which brings us to our friend Carlos.<\/p>\n Carlos got hit by a pitch from Zach Greinke last week. \u00a0Feeling the pitch was intentional, Quentin charged the mound, which (always) results in a bench clearing brawl.\u00a0 The aftermath:\u00a0 Greinke breaks his collarbone and is out for at least two months.\u00a0 Now, a bench clearing brawl, by itself, is not necessarily a teabag-able offense.\u00a0 Sometimes, it\u2019s justified, and sometimes it\u2019s memorable (The Machine doesn\u2019t care if Robin Ventura goes on to become President of the United States, he\u2019ll always be remembered in our mind as the kid that got his ass beat by old man Nolan Ryan).\u00a0 In Carlos\u2019 case, his actions were completely out of line.<\/p>\n For starters, it was a 3-2 count, in the sixth inning of a one run game.\u00a0 For all the (stupid) unwritten rules there are in baseball, not one of them says this is the right time to hit a batter.\u00a0 Clearly, it was not intentional.\u00a0 Carlos claimed that he and Zach have a history, and he\u2019s right:\u00a0 this was the third time that Greinke\u2019s hit him.\u00a0 But here\u2019s another stat:\u00a0 everyone hits Carlos Quentin.\u00a0 He led the NL last year in getting hit, and the year before that he led the AL.\u00a0 The average MLB player gets hit 0.9% of the time.\u00a0 Carlos?\u00a0 4.1%.\u00a0 That’s right, Carlos gets hit more than four times the average player.<\/p>\n So what does that tell you?\u00a0 Either (a) every pitcher has it in for Carlos Quentin or (b) Carlos crowds the plate.\u00a0 Look, getting hit by a pitch sucks, but you should be used to it by now.\u00a0 Here\u2019s a tip from The Machine:\u00a0 if you want to stop getting hit, move back in the batter\u2019s box.\u00a0 You intentionally crowd the plate to take away the inside pitch, but clearly that hasn\u2019t stopped people from pitching inside.\u00a0 If you\u2019re not going to change the way you stand in the batter\u2019s box, then it should be no surprise that you\u2019re on your way to leading the NL in getting hit again.\u00a0<\/p>\n The Machine has two words for you Carlos:\u00a0 situational baseball.\u00a0 Your charging the mound was completely unjustified.\u00a0 If MLB had a set, they\u2019d suspend you for as long as it takes for Greinke to pitch again.\u00a0 Instead, you get off easy with an 8 game suspension.\u00a0 That, and a teabag.<\/p>\n Enjoy your teabags fellas.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Last week, loyal readers of The Machine knew we struggled with naming a Tuesday Teabag.\u00a0 Well, the goodness that was in the world last week is gone; this week brought us a host of teabag-able people.\u00a0 An HMT (Honorable Mention … Continue reading <\/a><\/b><\/p>\n