What is it about baseball players that make them susceptible to the strangest, oddest, and downright weirdest injuries of any athletes?\u00a0 Seriously, year in and year out, the dumbest injuries happen to baseball players.\u00a0 Whether it\u2019s sneezing too hard (Sammy Sosa), burning your face by falling asleep in a tanning bed (Marty Cordova), or stabbing yourself in the stomach while using a knife to take off a DVD wrapper (Adam Eaton), baseball players are cursed.\u00a0 Or just stupid and unable to perform simple tasks off the field.<\/p>\n
The 2013 season hasn\u2019t even started yet, and already we have a slew of worthy contenders.<\/p>\n
Michael Taylor (Oakland)<\/b><\/p>\n
Injured himself throwing away a piece of gum.\u00a0 Seriously, he lacerated his pinkie (in two places) while attempting to throw out gum, and had missed a week of spring training.\u00a0 This one\u2019s odd, I mean, who throws out gum pinkie out.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Elvis Andrus (Texas)<\/b><\/p>\n
Sat out a game due to soreness in his arm\u2026from getting a tattoo.\u00a0 This injury isn\u2019t as weird as it is stupid.\u00a0 Elvis, your last game was October 5, you had between then and the start of spring training (roughly 5 months) to get tatted up.\u00a0 Instead, you wait until spring training starts (i.e. you\u2019re back working) to get some ink.\u00a0 Tattoos by nature are pretty badass, unless you\u2019re this guy<\/a>, but taking a day off work because it hurt too much instantly takes away any street cred.\u00a0<\/p>\n Gio Gonzalez (Washington)<\/b><\/p>\n Not sure what to make of Gio\u2026but he sported a sweet looking scar on his forehead.\u00a0 Bar fight, perhaps?\u00a0 Catch a line drive off your face?\u00a0 Not quite.\u00a0 Gio sustained the injury (later confirmed to be a rug burn) by wrestling with his dog, Hollywood\u2026a French Bulldog.\u00a0 Fortunately for Gio, he didn\u2019t miss any playing time.\u00a0 Also, he\u2019s got a good sense of humor (which The Machine appreciates) and when describing his \u201cfight\u201d with Hollywood said:\u00a0 “She gave me a rug burn. I hate her. And then I love her. \u00a0And then I look in her face and then I love her again.\u201d<\/p>\n Jordany Valdespin (Mets)<\/b><\/p>\n Jordany takes the cake with the dumbest injury thus far.\u00a0 It seems innocent enough:\u00a0 while squaring around to bunt, he takes a Verlander fastball to the junk.\u00a0 Not good under any circumstances.\u00a0 However, Jordany raised the bar of stupidity when it was revealed that he wasn\u2019t wearing a cup.\u00a0 That\u2019s right\u2026.a 94 mph heater right to the babymaker.\u00a0 What could possibly possess you to not wear a cup, especially someone that bunts with an open stance?\u00a0 Obviously, even with a cup (or full body armor) a Justin Verlander fastball is going to hurt\u2026but as stupid as it is to stand in there with no helmet on, it\u2019s equally as dumb to step in the box without a cup.\u00a0 The Machine has broken out in a cold sweat just thinking about this.<\/p>\n There you have it\u2026proving once again that real men play [insert any sport besides baseball].\u00a0 Enjoy the teabags fellas, and Jordany\u2026the next time you\u2019re at the plate make sure to bubble wrap the boys!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" What is it about baseball players that make them susceptible to the strangest, oddest, and downright weirdest injuries of any athletes?\u00a0 Seriously, year in and year out, the dumbest injuries happen to baseball players.\u00a0 Whether it\u2019s sneezing too hard (Sammy … Continue reading