Wow, our first TT of 2013!\u00a0 The Machine (and Mrs. Machine) was nursing a\u00a0mega-hangover on New Year\u2019s Day (and thus unable to type, let alone form coherent thoughts), but now The Machine\u2019s (reasonably) sober, and ready to get back to doing our dream job!<\/p>\n
2013\u2019s not even a week old, and there are plenty of teabags to go around (we\u2019re looking at you Mike Shanahan).\u00a0 Surprisingly, Mike and his (career ending?) decision to leave RGIII in the game despite his noticeable (career ending?) knee injury gets a pass.\u00a0 Instead, our focus is not on one individual, but an entire group of people (#stereotypingcanbefun).<\/p>\n
Being from Central New York (an \u201cUpstater\u201d) The Machine couldn\u2019t help but take notice of Doug Marrone, the former SU Football coach who left to become the head coach of the Buffalo Bills.\u00a0 On its surface, it\u2019s not that much of a story:\u00a0 college coach becomes NFL coach.\u00a0 Happens all the time, sometimes good (see Pete Carroll, 2012), sometimes not so good (see Pete Carroll, 1994).\u00a0 But it wasn\u2019t the fact that he left, but rather the reaction from the SU fans, that makes this story teabagable (2013 word of the year).<\/p>\n
Indeed, The Machine\u2019s inbox was flooded with angry messages from Cuse fans who felt betrayed that Marrone not only left them, but lied to them.\u00a0 A casual perusing of The Machine\u2019s facebook page saw dozens of angry posts, each one worse than the last, all with vitriol for Doug.<\/p>\n
It seems that the majority of the fans\u2019 ire is that Coach Marrone is leaving his \u201cdream job\u201d.\u00a0 You see, when Marrone, a former player at SU, accepted the head coaching position at Syracuse four years ago, he called it his dream job, surprising considering the clusterfuck of a program he inherited.\u00a0 In those four years, Marrone transformed Syracuse football from a complete joke into a respectable program that finished tied for first in the Big East this year, had two winning seasons, and was 2-0 in bowl games (inaugural winner of the Pinstripe bowl, bitches).\u00a0 Without question, he improved the program, leaving it in better hands for his successor.<\/p>\n
Because of his success, it\u2019s natural for fans to be disappointed.\u00a0 However, SU fans went right past disappointment and settled for shock and anger.\u00a0 \u201cHe lied to us!\u201d whined SU fans.\u00a0 \u201cWhy would he leave his dream job?\u201d<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s get a few things straight:<\/p>\n
Number 1<\/strong>, no one\u2019s dream job is in Syracuse, New York.<\/p>\n Number 2<\/strong>, of course he would call it his dream job when he was hired.\u00a0 He played at Syracuse, and thus has a deep connection with the program and the University.\u00a0 It\u2019s called coach-speak.\u00a0 When a coach (not named Gregg Williams), in pre-game warmups, says \u201cwe\u2019re gonna slaughter them on the field\u201d does he actually want his players to murder the opponent?\u00a0 Let The Machine translate for you:\u00a0 \u201cThis is my dream job\u201d = \u201cI\u2019m excited as shit to be here.\u201d<\/p>\n Number 3<\/strong>, every college coach wants to be an NFL coach.\u00a0 The Machine learned that before learning to read.<\/p>\n Number 4<\/strong>, dreams change.\u00a0 The Machine loves his job as a \u201csports journalist\u201d, but if Axl Rose calls and says \u201cyour idea about a Ginger Hall of Fame (and your karaoke of Sweet Child) is incredible.\u00a0 How about I fund it and you run it?\u201d \u00a0The Machine would pack up his shit and go.\u00a0 Simple as that.\u00a0 The allure of the NFL will always be there.\u00a0 More money, more power, and more control, three things that (a) are generally awesome and (b) are even more awesome for egotistical, power-craving football coaches.<\/p>\n Number 5<\/strong>, if there\u2019s any outrage to go around, it should be directed at these \u201cfans\u201d.\u00a0 Where were they during the dark days (Greg Robinson era)?\u00a0 The 1-10 2005 Season\u2014with that one win coming over Buffalo (oh sweet irony).\u00a0 Were they at the Dome with their Perry Patterson jersey, cheering on their favorite team wondering where the hell the Dome Ranger is? (remember, in sickness and in health, yes, loving a sports team is like a marriage).\u00a0 No.\u00a0 Instead, you couldn\u2019t give your tickets away fast enough, ashamed to even acknowledge the football team (\u201cI really just watch basketball or (if you\u2019re really hardcore) lacrosse\u201d).\u00a0 Now that you\u2019ve had a little success, you come out of the woodwork with your (newly purchased) Orange football hoodie, and are somehow entitled to keeping your coach as long as you want him.<\/p>\n Point is:\u00a0 coaches can be as fickle as their fans.\u00a0 Don\u2019t hate on Marrone because he took a better paying job, with more authority and control.\u00a0 Granted, could the Buffalo Bills win the Pinstripe Bowl?\u00a0 Debatable.\u00a0 But remember the SU program he inherited:\u00a0 they couldn\u2019t win a goldfish at the County Fair (tossing that ping-pong ball in the bowl is pretty tough, btw) let alone a football game.<\/p>\n And him saying this was his \u201cdream job\u201d changes nothing.\u00a0 Let.\u00a0 It.\u00a0 Go.\u00a0 Does that somehow obligate him to a life long tenure?\u00a0 Does he get to stay at his job regardless of how well or poor he does?\u00a0 Of course not (he\u2019s not a teacher).\u00a0 You would gladly run him out of town if he didn\u2019t perform to your expectations.<\/p>\n The local media, clearly not able to let the \u201cdream job\u201d thing go, raised this at his press conference in Buffalo, to which he responded:\u00a0 \u201cWhen I went in there and said it\u2019s my dream job, I meant that. I really did. \u00a0I had the opportunity to restore that program. \u00a0That dream became a reality for me. \u00a0Now I\u2019m moving forward with my next dream, which is to be an NFL coach.\u201d\u00a0 The Machine will gladly translate that for any SU fan still searching for answers:\u00a0 \u201cDreams change, motherfucker.\u00a0 I gave you four solid years, and built my resume\u2026err, the program, to a respectable level.\u00a0 Now this is my new dream job (until Jerry Jones calls in four years).\u201d<\/p>\n The Machine says best of luck to Coach Marrone.\u00a0 The Bills are an absolute mess, and they could definitely use your help (this is a not so subtle plug for you to hire The Machine as your draft scouts.\u00a0 Guaranteed to deliver a solid class, certainly better than anything that\u2019s been done in recent past (Aaron-fucking Maybin)).<\/p>\n Get over it SU fans.\u00a0 Why he would trade one depressing Upstate New York city for another is a totally legitimate topic.\u00a0 Claiming he lied to you is not.\u00a0 Enjoy your teabag.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Wow, our first TT of 2013!\u00a0 The Machine (and Mrs. Machine) was nursing a\u00a0mega-hangover on New Year\u2019s Day (and thus unable to type, let alone form coherent thoughts), but now The Machine\u2019s (reasonably) sober, and ready to get back to … Continue reading