Bob Costas gets a reprieve this week (although, for the record, the complete 180 he did this past Sunday while commenting on the Josh Brent situation earns him the honor of being a total pussy\u2026that, or he overcorrected because he fears The Machine, in which case, smart move).<\/p>\n
No, this week we focus our attention on Brandon Jacobs, the suspended (soon to be former) 49ers RB.\u00a0 Oh Brandon, 10 months ago you were on top of the world:\u00a0 you just won your second Super Bowl with the G-Men, you became the Giants all-time leader in rushing touchdowns, and, even though you\u2019re on the wrong side of 30, teaming up with Ahmad Bradshaw ensured some added longevity and a real shot at getting a third ring and a chance at football immortality. \u00a0But no, Brandon was disgruntled by his diminished playing time (note: you know someone\u2019s a total d-bag when they\u2019re on a championship team complaining about playing time) and it was apparent he was not coming back.<\/p>\n
So, curiously, Brandon signed with the Niners in the offseason.\u00a0 Yes, the same Niners that have the no doubt undisputed #1 RB in Frank Gore, quality backups in Kendall Hunter and Anthony Dixon, and rookie LaMichael James.\u00a0 If he was pissed about sharing time with Bradshaw, how was he going to handle an orgy in the backfield?\u00a0 Yes, this had train wreck written all over it.\u00a0 The Machine snuggled in and waited for the crazy.<\/p>\n
And so, 13 games into his first season that resulted in five carries for seven yards (a solid 1.4 yards per carry) the train made its final stop in Crazytown.\u00a0 Brandon, clearly upset with his lack of opportunities and placement on the depth chart, did what any upstanding professional would do: he complained on social media, saying he was \u201crotting away\u201d on the bench and calling this season his worst, and then, in total buyer\u2019s remorse fashion, posted pictures of his Super Bowl ring and himself playing for the Giants.\u00a0 This prompted the Niners to suspend Jacobs for the rest of the season (without pay), and it\u2019s likely they won\u2019t bring him back for the playoffs, and almost certainly he won\u2019t be suiting up for them next year.\u00a0 While normally you\u2019d feel bad about someone losing their job, here, it feels so good for many reason.<\/p>\n
First, complaining about your job on social media is a move reserved for teachers\u2026it\u2019s tough to garner sympathy for someone who\u2019s made millions of dollars playing a game (it\u2019s also hard for The Machine to have sympathy for people that work half the year and get summers off).<\/p>\n
Second, this type of petulant, self-absorbed behavior has defined Brandon.\u00a0 When the going gets tough, he quits.\u00a0 A google search will tell you that Brandon went to college at Southern Illinois, not a traditional powerhouse program.\u00a0 However, a beer with The Machine will tell you that he first started out at Auburn, which is a traditional powerhouse program.\u00a0 In the backfield with him at Auburn were future NFL players Cadillac Williams and Ronnie Brown.\u00a0 Instead of staying at Auburn, competing with Cadillac and Ronnie and working his way up the RB ladder, Brandon took his ball and goes to Southern Illinois, a Division I-AA (or whatever it\u2019s called now) school.\u00a0 It\u2019s no wonder why Cadillac and Ronnie became first round draft picks and Jacobs fell to the fourth.<\/p>\n
Third, and perhaps more importantly, you knew this was going to happen the moment you left the Giants.\u00a0 Anyone that knows anything about the Giants (we dare you to test The Machine\u2019s knowledge here) knows that, unless your name is Manning, you are a role player.\u00a0 The recent list of former G-Men that left to seek richer pastures and have failed miserably is long and telling:\u00a0 Kevin Boss, Derrick Ward, Steve Smith, Ryan Grant, even Mario Manningham.\u00a0 All of these players left and have had little or no impact.\u00a0 These players thought they were better than they really are, and failed to realize they had a pretty good gig in New York. \u00a0On the other hand, the Giants plug in players, Jake Ballard (now Martellus Bennent), Victor Cruz, David Wilson, Domenik Hixon) and they don\u2019t miss a beat.\u00a0 It\u2019s as if Coach Coughlin and Jerry Reese know what they\u2019re doing in building a roster with talent and depth.<\/p>\n
So Brandon, while you file your inevitable appeal with the NFLPA and begin your quest for social media rehabilitation (look for a feel good story involving Brandon in the upcoming weeks) The Machine hopes you\u2019ve banked away some cash, cause it looks like you\u2019re playing days are over.\u00a0 While some team may be dumb enough to sign you (you can\u2019t teach 6\u20194\u201d, 264) you\u2019re never going to see the kind of cash you think you deserve.\u00a0 You\u2019re a 30 year old RB with bad knees and an even worse attitude problem.\u00a0 Instead, you\u2019ll see a one year, heavily incentive laden contract…typical for problem child athletes (see TO).<\/p>\n
Bottom line:\u00a0 you\u2019re not worth the headache and distraction\u2026but you are worth a Tuesday Teabag.\u00a0 Enjoy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bob Costas gets a reprieve this week (although, for the record, the complete 180 he did this past Sunday while commenting on the Josh Brent situation earns him the honor of being a total pussy\u2026that, or he overcorrected because he … Continue reading