There were a lot of things to be thankful for over the past week:\u00a0 an endless supply of stuffing, pie, and football.\u00a0 Who cares if you have to spend it with family members (that\u2019s what alcohol is for), you\u2019re still coming out on top!\u00a0 Even though the week was filled with thanks, there were still a healthy supply of teabags to go around.\u00a0 Receiving HMTs (honorable mention teabags) this week (the first ever) are:<\/p>\n
While both Suh and Coach Schwartz are worthy choices, this weeks\u2019 Tuesday Teabag goes to none other than Fireman Ed, the iconic Jets fan who leads the stadium in the very tough cheer that involves spelling the word Jets AND saying it three times (you try doing that without a spotter).<\/p>\n
Anyway, Fireman Ed has decided to retire.\u00a0 That\u2019s right, the team\u2019s number 1 fan has quit on them.\u00a0 After the Thanksgiving massacre to the Patriots, Fireman Ed deleted his twitter account (note:\u00a0 anyone over the age of 50 should not have a twitter account) and announced to the world he\u2019s done.\u00a0 It\u2019s understandable to want to quit on the Jets\u2026it\u2019s apparent the players have already done so.\u00a0 But what\u2019s interesting is the reason behind him hanging up the Most. Annoying. Cheer. Ever.<\/p>\n
Fireman Ed didn\u2019t retire because he\u2019s upset with the team, disgusted over the product the Jets put out while charging their fans ridiculous amounts of money (how do you like \u2018dem PSL fees?).\u00a0 Nope, Fireman Ed quit because other Jets fans are assholes.\u00a0 “The stadium has become divided because of the quarterback controversy,” bemoans Fireman Ed.\u00a0 “The fact that I chose to wear a Mark Sanchez jersey this year, and that fans think I am on the payroll — which is an outright lie — have made these confrontations more frequent. Whether it’s in the stands, the bathroom or the parking lot, these confrontations are happening on a consistent basis.”<\/p>\n
This ranks right up there with Tebow and foot-gate on the Jets freakshow meter.\u00a0 How bad are things for the Jets?\u00a0 Their own fans are turning on each other.\u00a0 You can\u2019t really get more toxic than that.<\/p>\n
But come on, Fireman Ed, don\u2019t be such a pussy!\u00a0 Man up.\u00a0 Did you ever come upon a burning building and say \u201chey guys, that fire\u2019s a little too hot, I\u2019m gonna sit this one out.\u201d\u00a0 Of course not. \u00a0You wanted to be the center of attention and the leader of a bunch of drunk (and apparently spelling-challenged) Long Islanders.\u00a0 With great power comes great responsibility.<\/p>\n
What\u2019s even worse, he\u2019s still going to show up to the games, just not as Fireman Ed.\u00a0 You think the fans won\u2019t bust your balls for that?\u00a0 Also, it\u2019s going to lead to some awkward TV shots of a despondent plain clothes Ed, sans fireman helmet and dignity.<\/p>\n
What are the Jets going to do now (besides implode and further rot away their fanbase)?\u00a0 Who\u2019s going to lead their fans?\u00a0 The Machine votes for drunk Joe Namath<\/a>\u2026now that guy knows how to party, right Suzy?<\/p>\n Anyway, here\u2019s to you Fireman Ed.\u00a0 A Tuesday Teabag to add to your collection of worthless acknowledgments you\u2019ve received over the years.\u00a0 Also, The Machine\u2019s calling total bullshit on you.\u00a0 Guaranteed that you\u2019ll pull a Favre and come out of retirement by next season.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There were a lot of things to be thankful for over the past week:\u00a0 an endless supply of stuffing, pie, and football.\u00a0 Who cares if you have to spend it with family members (that\u2019s what alcohol is for), you\u2019re still … Continue reading