After taking a beating in College football over the weekend (thanks Notre Dame) The Machine is switching gears and putting on its political dunce cap.\u00a0 Hey, we got to put that Political Science degree to some use.<\/p>\n
Anywho, after being relentlessly bombarded with political ads over the past few months (did you know Democrats burn the Flag while aborting babies, and Republicans beat the homeless with Bibles?) it all comes down one night:\u00a0 Election Night, baby!\u00a0 Drama, intrigue, Wolf Blitzer!\u00a0 What could be wrong with that?<\/p>\n
A lot, actually.\u00a0 Every four years, America gets reacquainted with the Electoral College, and reminded that we\u2019re not really a democracy at all.\u00a0 What is the Electoral College, you ask?\u00a0 Well, you could log on to facebook and read a thrilling discourse on American politics posted by your friends, your ex, and the creepy people whose friend requests you were afraid not to accept, or you can bypass those losers and come right to The Machine.<\/p>\n
The Electoral College is the most irrelevant College in the World, even more so than Bryant and Stratton.\u00a0 The Electoral College is like the Anniversary BJ, except comes around less frequently, if that\u2019s even possible.<\/p>\n
Truth is, no one knows what the Electoral College actually is, not even the freaks on facebook.\u00a0 Wikipedia tells you it\u2019s designed to protect the rights of smaller states, however the smaller states have fewer electoral college votes, so how are they really protected?\u00a0 Anyone catch that Presidential speech in Bismark?\u00a0 No?\u00a0 That\u2019s because no one gives a shit about their 3 Electoral College votes.\u00a0 And if there was no Electoral College\u2026we still wouldn\u2019t give a shit about North Dakota.<\/p>\n
The Electoral College\u2014unlike the Anniversary BJ<\/span>\u2014serves no good purpose.\u00a0 Underscoring that is the fact that you never hear from the Electoral College.\u00a0 Pull back the curtain and let us know what you\u2019re all about.\u00a0 Show us why you\u2019re important and necessary to our presidential elections.\u00a0 Instead, we get silence, and The Machine does not like people who won\u2019t defend their honor.<\/p>\n Fact:\u00a0 the Electoral College is as useful as that Hospitality Management degree from Bryant and Stratton (which only leads to a career in stripping btw).\u00a0 Enjoy your Tuesday Teabag, Electoral College.<\/p>\n The Machine approves this message.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" After taking a beating in College football over the weekend (thanks Notre Dame) The Machine is switching gears and putting on its political dunce cap.\u00a0 Hey, we got to put that Political Science degree to some use. Anywho, after being … Continue reading