What is it with old people that causes them to believe all the problems in the world are the current generation\u2019s fault and that, back in their day, none of these problems existed?\u00a0 It\u2019s a self-fulfilling prophecy:\u00a0 the older you get, the more the current generation sucks.<\/p>\n
Recently, The Machine was at a family function doing what The Machine does best (crushing beers and talking sports) and the subject turned to steroids and performance enhancing drugs.\u00a0 Instantly, the old people started right in about how the integrity of sports has been ruined by these cheaters, that the records being broken (you know, the records that were set by their sports icons) should still be recognized as the real records, and that any awards should be taken away.<\/p>\n
Case in point:\u00a0 Melky Cabrera, the latest pill-popper and distinguished Tuesday Teabag recipient.\u00a0 Melky recently won the MVP of the All-Star Game, and helped to secure home field advantage to the National League in the World Series [let\u2019s put aside that fact that deciding home field advantage by the winning team in the All-Star Game is the Dumbest.\u00a0 Thing.\u00a0 Ever.]\u00a0 Unanimously, the old timers agreed that Melky should be stripped of his MVP Award, that Barry Bonds should have an asterisk next to his home run total, and that Roger Clemens should not get in to the Hall of Fame.\u00a0 Thank God The Machine was there to put these people in check.<\/p>\n
The Machine:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou know it was your generation that introduced steroids to sports, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Old Person:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYeah, but not to the extent it\u2019s being used now.\u201d\u00a0 Came the expected reply.<\/p>\n
The Machine:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSo you want to make a big statement about cleaning up sports, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Old Person:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t like where this is headed.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Machine:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSo let\u2019s take away the Steelers four Super Bowls from the 70\u2019s and Willie Mays\u2019 two MVP awards.\u201d<\/p>\n
Old Person:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat the fuck are you talking about young man!\u201d<\/p>\n
And therein lies the problem.\u00a0 You can\u2019t just set 2003 as the date by which you start taking away results.\u00a0 And it\u2019s just as stupid to go further back in time.\u00a0 And you can\u2019t just blame the last decade as defiling the integrity of sports.\u00a0 What happened, happened.\u00a0 Steroids weren\u2019t illegal in the 1970\u2019s (neither was HGH in baseball until 2005).\u00a0 Perhaps they weren\u2019t \u201cillegal\u201d but everyone knew it was wrong.\u00a0 And please, can we stop with the notion that this is our fault?\u00a0 The Machine\u2019s willing to bet that more professional athletes used steroids in the 1970\u2019s than today.\u00a0 Steroids weren\u2019t newsworthy then like they are now.\u00a0 Nobody gave a shit\u2026kind of like nobody gave a shit about wearing seatbelts or listening to good music (seriously, the Bee Gees?).<\/p>\n
Look, The Machine gets that being old sucks but come on people, have some perspective.\u00a0 Your sports idols and heroes were just as corrupt, meatheaded, and obsessed with getting an edge on the competition as ours are.\u00a0 And, as long as we have professional sports in this country, there will always be people that will lie and cheat their way to the top.\u00a0 However, The Machine\u2019s convinced that the next generation will be worse than today\u2019s.\u00a0 Kids these days\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What is it with old people that causes them to believe all the problems in the world are the current generation\u2019s fault and that, back in their day, none of these problems existed?\u00a0 It\u2019s a self-fulfilling prophecy:\u00a0 the older you … Continue reading