{"id":1383,"date":"2014-01-08T10:32:56","date_gmt":"2014-01-08T15:32:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bigredsportsmachine.com\/?p=1383"},"modified":"2014-08-12T09:48:24","modified_gmt":"2014-08-12T13:48:24","slug":"tuesday-teabag-january-7-2014-moms-gone-wild","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/?p=1383","title":{"rendered":"Tuesday Teabag, January 7, 2014 &#8211; Moms Gone Wild!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Happy New Year Machine fans.\u00a0 This year, we promise to bring you more of what you love.\u00a0 More NFL Draft coverage, more gratuitous pictures of Kate Upton (you\u2019re welcome), and yes, more teabags.\u00a0 So let\u2019s get right to our first teabag of 2014. <strong>Crazy Mom #1<\/strong> Queary:\u00a0 Is there a better group of sports fans than drunk moms?\u00a0 Answer:\u00a0 No.\u00a0 They\u2019re fun, totally irrational, DTF, and fiercely protective of their family.\u00a0 And that was on full display last week at the Sugar Bowl, where Alabama played Oklahoma.\u00a0 Let\u2019s let the gif do the talking and then we&#8217;ll fill in the details: <a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bigredsportsmachine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Alabama-Mom.gif?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1384\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bigredsportsmachine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Alabama-Mom-300x168.gif?resize=300%2C168&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Alabama Mom\" width=\"300\" height=\"168\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Alabama-Mom.gif?resize=300%2C168&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Alabama-Mom.gif?resize=500%2C281&amp;ssl=1 500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a> As the story goes, as reported by our friends at <a href=\"https:\/\/deadspin.com\/id-do-it-again-if-i-had-to-bama-mom-speaks-1494500718\">Deadspin<\/a>, Michelle Pritchett, sweet mother of three and an Alabama fan, was at the game with her family and was engaged in some harmless back and forth with some Oklahoma fans.\u00a0 Then, things quickly got out of control.\u00a0 As shown on the gif above (and youtube clip below) Michelle \u2013 mom jeans and all \u2013 launches herself several rows down and lands on top of the Oklahoma crew.\u00a0 If you haven\u2019t seen it (or even if you have seen it several dozen times, like us, it\u2019s worth a view again): <a href=\"https:\/\/iframewidth=560height=315src=\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/PHJg1XrlNXQframeborder=0allowfullscreen\/iframe\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/PHJg1XrlNXQ\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/a> According to Michelle, she was just protecting her family (who was nowhere near danger, btw).\u00a0 Said Michelle, \u201cIt escalated. When they said something to my son, I told them to shut their mouths. \u00a0They were telling my son to come down there and &#8216;do something about it.&#8217; I said, &#8216;no, that&#8217;s not going to happen. This crap needs to stop.\u201d\u00a0 Michelle then goes full suburban mom, and both apologizes and takes no responsibility at the same time.\u00a0 &#8220;I apologize to the whole Alabama team, to Nick Saban,&#8221; she said. &#8220;I apologize to the whole Alabama base. \u00a0That&#8217;s not the way I would normally handle things. \u00a0But when he told my son to come down there, that wasn&#8217;t going to happen.&#8221;\u00a0 She then added, &#8220;Would I take that back? No.\u00a0 He was out of control.&#8221; And, just so we\u2019re all clear, Michelle was not, repeat, not, drunk.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I wasn&#8217;t intoxicated either. \u00a0I want people to know that. I&#8217;d had a couple of drinks, but I was not intoxicated.&#8221; Bweep, bweep, bweep&#8230;there\u2019s The Machine\u2019s Bullshitdar going off the charts.\u00a0 Of course she was hammered.\u00a0 That video has white girl wasted written all over it.\u00a0 Perhaps it\u2019s a cultural thing (The Machine is admittedly ignorant\/scared of the South) but if by \u201ca couple of drinks\u201d she means a peanut butter jar of moonshine, then we\u2019d agree she only had a couple of drinks. And we love her justification for jumping into a crowd of people at a sporting event in front of her family.\u00a0 They [the big, mean Oklahoma fans] told her son to come on down, presumably to fight.\u00a0 So mom, selfless, good hearted\u00a0mom who just wants to protect her so (who, btw is nowhere in the video).\u00a0 Ah, irrationality, a clear sign of drunk mom. Thankfully, more creative people love this story and have put together music montages for our viewing pleasure.\u00a0 There are several, but we like this one (set to Sweet Home Alabama, heavy metal, and sound effects from Street Fighter) <a href=\"https:\/\/iframewidth=560height=315src=\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Nank8XEVSfMframeborder=0allowfullscreen\/iframe\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Nank8XEVSfM\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/a> Sorry, one more, for you Miley Cyrus fans (looking at you, Roid Rage) <a href=\"https:\/\/iframewidth=560height=315src=\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/eJOnMpkyTKwframeborder=0allowfullscreen\/iframe\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/eJOnMpkyTKw\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/a><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_1385\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bigredsportsmachine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Dee-Dee2.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1385\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-1385\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bigredsportsmachine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Dee-Dee2-300x168.jpg?resize=300%2C168&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"No one's good enough for my AJ, not even you Katherine Webb.\" width=\"300\" height=\"168\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Dee-Dee2.jpg?resize=300%2C168&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Dee-Dee2.jpg?resize=500%2C280&amp;ssl=1 500w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Dee-Dee2.jpg?w=955&amp;ssl=1 955w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-1385\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">No one&#8217;s good enough for my AJ, not even you Katherine Webb.<\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong>Crazy Mom #2<\/strong> Because one crazy mom isn\u2019t enough\u2026The Machine has another one for you.\u00a0 We\u2019re staying in the South and with Alabama, apparently a hot bed of <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">milfs<\/span>\u00a0crazy middle-aged white women.\u00a0 Dee Dee\u00a0McCarron, mother to AJ McCarron, Alabama\u2019s quarterback, is apparently still scorned that her little angel (pronounced \u201caiinjel\u201d) lost the Heisman to FSU Quarterback Jameis Winston.\u00a0 And when mom\u2019s mad, she does what all rational people do\u2026Tweet! Yes, after the historic National Championship Game Monday night between FSU and Auburn, truly a game for the ages, Heisman winning QB (and freshman) Jameis Winston was interviewed on the field.\u00a0 Here\u2019s what he had to say. <a href=\"https:\/\/iframewidth=560height=315src=\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Qh8NcYoqYO4frameborder=0allowfullscreen\/iframe\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Qh8NcYoqYO4\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/a> What a moment for Jameis\u00a0and FSU.\u00a0 His remarks were genuine, heartfelt, and humble\u2026three things that very few college freshman are.\u00a0 However, Dee Dee\u00a0(with a name like Dee Dee, do you get the sense a troubling day for her involves running out of fresh mint for her mint julep?) not happy seeing some other college quarterback <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">share<\/span> take the spotlight from her baby, instantly tweeted:<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_1386\" style=\"width: 178px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bigredsportsmachine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Dee-Dee.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1386\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-1386\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bigredsportsmachine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Dee-Dee-168x300.jpg?resize=168%2C300&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Bitter, much?\" width=\"168\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Dee-Dee.jpg?resize=168%2C300&amp;ssl=1 168w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Dee-Dee.jpg?w=576&amp;ssl=1 576w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 168px) 100vw, 168px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-1386\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Bitter, much?<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Her tweet was quickly deleted, but not before the damage was done.\u00a0 Now granted, diction may not be Jameis\u2019 strongest suit, but it\u2019s clear what he\u2019s saying, just as it\u2019s clear Dee Dee\u2019s tweet has a not so subtle racial overture.\u00a0 To clear up any confusion, Dee Dee then tweeted:<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en data-scribe-reduced-action-queue=\"><p>Any1\u00a0that knows our family knows we r far from racist. My tweet was not in anyway\u00a0meant that way. I sincerely apologize if it offended any1 \u2014 Dee Dee McCarron\u00a0(@DeeDeeBonner) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/DeeDeeBonner\/statuses\/420444501329870848\">January 7, 2014<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>As a general rule, if you have to send out a clarifying message that says \u201cwe are far from racist\u201d it probably means you\u2019re not as far as you think.\u00a0 Is anyone surprised that Dee Dee\u2019s twitter profile reads: \u201cProud Ma of 4 boys.\u00a0 Feisty and will defend them to the end.\u201d\u00a0 Even if the end involves quasi-racist comments to the world.<\/p>\n<p>Enjoy your teabag.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Happy New Year Machine fans.\u00a0 This year, we promise to bring you more of what you love.\u00a0 More NFL Draft coverage, more gratuitous pictures of Kate Upton (you\u2019re welcome), and yes, more teabags.\u00a0 So let\u2019s get right to our first &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/?p=1383\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1383","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tuesday-teabag"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Bp3y-mj","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1383","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1383"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1383\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1662,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1383\/revisions\/1662"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1383"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1383"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1383"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}