{"id":1169,"date":"2013-10-30T12:38:10","date_gmt":"2013-10-30T16:38:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bigredsportsmachine.com\/?p=1169"},"modified":"2013-10-30T12:47:05","modified_gmt":"2013-10-30T16:47:05","slug":"tuesday-teabag-october-29-2013-kevin-harvick-and-ty-dillon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/?p=1169","title":{"rendered":"Tuesday Teabag, October 29, 2013 – Kevin Harvick and Ty Dillon"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Get<\/a>

Get off my lawn, punks!<\/p><\/div>\n

Admittedly, The Machine doesn\u2019t know much about NASCAR, outside of Ricky Bobby and Dick Trickle (he he).\u00a0 Can anyone explain to us why its biggest race (the Daytona 500, the Super Bowl of NASCAR) is the first race of the year?\u00a0 What we do know about NASCAR\u2014formed from us having attended one NASCAR race plus our innate ability to accurately stereotype people\u2014is this:.\u00a0 (i) drinking is required, (ii) smoking is encouraged, and (iii) you can use the phrase \u201cgit-r-done\u201d un-mockingly (\u201ccome on Kenseth, git-r-done on the outside!\u201d).\u00a0 Also, 100% of the People of Wal-Mart <\/a>are NASCAR fans.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But what we lack in general automotive knowledge (why aren\u2019t the cars automatic, and where are the fucking doors?) we make up in understanding a good old pissing contest, and we got a good one brewing on the track.<\/p>\n

Kevin Harvick\u00a0(or #29 to the NASCAR fan) is a driver for Richard Childress Racing, but not for long.\u00a0 He\u2019s leaving RCR\u00a0at the end of the year to sign with rival Stewart-Haas Racing [wait, how can you still be under contract yet already have a deal to go to another team?].\u00a0 He\u2019s been with RCR\u00a0for 13 years, so naturally there\u2019s a lot of history between them, and both sides should try and end things on the right note.\u00a0 Or not.<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>

The future of RCR: Cowboy hats and designer shades.<\/p><\/div>\n

It seems that the main problem Harvick\u00a0has with RCR is that he\u2019s being pushed out in favor of Ty and Austin Dillon, who just happen to be Richard Childress\u2019 grandsons.\u00a0 This all came to a head on Saturday night, during a Truck Series race. [Note: is Truck Series NASCAR?\u00a0 How can some people race both cars and trucks in different series?]<\/p>\n

Harvick\u00a0was running second with 12 laps to go, and Ty \u2013 his teammate \u2013 was running third.\u00a0 Ty, trying to pass his \u201cteammate\u201d, hits him from behind causing an accident.\u00a0 The accident causes Harvick to finish 30th<\/sup> (Ty finished 22nd<\/sup>).\u00a0 But post-race things got really interesting<\/a>\u2026as in Jerry Springer interesting.<\/p>\n

A pissed off Harvick\u00a0went to seek out Ty, and, while he was in Dillon\u2019s pit stall [whatever that is] Dillon\u2019s crew member threw a hammer at his truck.\u00a0 This only added fuel to the fire.\u00a0 Said Harvick, \u201cI don\u2019t care what they throw at me.\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly the reason I\u2019m leaving RCR\u00a0is because you\u2019ve got those punk-ass kids coming up.\u201d\u00a0 Wanting to make sure his get your ball out of my yard message was received, Harvick\u00a0continued.\u00a0 \u201cExactly the reason why I\u2019m leaving RCR because you\u2019ve got those kids coming up and they\u2019ve got no respect for what they do in this sport and they\u2019ve had everything fed to them with a spoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Hates<\/a>

Hates old people, except Grandaddy Moneybags.<\/p><\/div>\n

21-year-old\u00a0Ty, confirming the disdain that the youth of today have for adults, said \u201cI don\u2019t care what Kevin Harvick said.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think anybody does.\u201d\u00a0 Harvick did later apologize<\/a>, but the damage was already done.<\/p>\n

The Machine\u2019s take:\u00a0 this isn\u2019t, excuse me, ain\u2019t the NASCAR we\u2019ve come to know and stereotype.\u00a0 We thought all NASCAR disputes were settled via a case of Old Milwaukie and a boot to the head\u2026but reasonably explaining your emotions to the media and then apologizing for your comments???\u00a0 That isn\u2019t, sorry, ain\u2019t NASCAR.\u00a0 Also, Ty and Austin?\u00a0 Those ain\u2019t NASCAR names, sounds like they belong at the country club, not the racetrack.\u00a0 Rusty, Junior, Denny,\u00a0Robbie.\u00a0 Those are NASCAR names.\u00a0 And, lost in all of this was the fact that the Dale Wallace Jr. (great NASCAR name, btw) won the race, becoming the first African-American driver to win a NASCAR race in over 50 years.\u00a0 What???\u00a0 Commence mind being blown.<\/p>\n

We feel bad for Harvick.\u00a0 It\u2019s clear he\u2019s being pushed out of RCR\u00a0for \u201cthe future\u201d and it\u2019s clear the future is two spoiled, entitled rich kids, the antithesis of everything NASCAR.\u00a0 However, if Harvick\u00a0wants to instill old-school NASCAR values into these young whipper\u00a0snappers, he needs to do it the NASCAR way: crank up the country, put on your shit kickers, and git-r-done!\u00a0 The only way you\u2019ll get through to the youth of today is by humbling them at their own game.\u00a0 We\u2019re hoping Harvick\u00a0spins out that sumbitch on the track next year.\u00a0 Rubbin\u2019 is racin\u2019!<\/p>\n

Will this controversy get us to watch NASCAR?\u00a0 Probably not, but, as the most watched sport in America<\/a>, they\u2019re certainly not hurting for fans.\u00a0 The most watched sport in America?\u00a0 Damn, we really are (willfully) ignorant of the rest of the country\u2026perhaps due to our (genuine) fear of the South.\u00a0 But we do know this:\u00a0 if you\u2019re ever stuck in a conversation with NASCAR people, or made a wrong turn and ended up in Talladega or a Bass Pro Shop, just utter the following phrase:\u00a0 \u201cJunior aint\u2019 never gunna be like his daddy!\u201d\u00a0 That should get you out of most jams.<\/p>\n

Shake and bake.<\/p>\n

Enjoy your teabag.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Admittedly, The Machine doesn\u2019t know much about NASCAR, outside of Ricky Bobby and Dick Trickle (he he).\u00a0 Can anyone explain to us why its biggest race (the Daytona 500, the Super Bowl of NASCAR) is the first race of the … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1169","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tuesday-teabag"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Bp3y-iR","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1169","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1169"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1169\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1175,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1169\/revisions\/1175"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}