{"id":1056,"date":"2013-09-18T12:33:31","date_gmt":"2013-09-18T16:33:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bigredsportsmachine.com\/?p=1056"},"modified":"2013-09-18T21:17:13","modified_gmt":"2013-09-19T01:17:13","slug":"tuesday-teabag-september-17-2013-the-0-2-racetrack","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/?p=1056","title":{"rendered":"Tuesday Teabag, September 17, 2013 – The 0-2 Racetrack"},"content":{"rendered":"

In this week\u2019s Tuesday Teabag, The Machine analyzes the 8 teams that are 0-2 and tells you whether they have a shot (i.e. there\u2019s still hope) or not (fuhgettaboutit).\u00a0 I\u2019m sure you heard the stat, but since 1990 only 8% of the teams that made the playoffs (22 out of 276) started out 0-2.\u00a0 #numbersdontlie\u00a0#hashtagsinpostsdonothing.\u00a0 If that holds true, only one of these teams will make the playoffs.\u00a0 Who has the best odds of being that team?\u00a0 Let\u2019s break it down and lay some odds horse track-style.<\/p>\n

New York Giants, 3:2<\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019d like to think I\u2019m being objective, and not a complete homer (if Roid Rage can love the hoodie<\/a>, I can objectively analyze the G-Men) but, out of all the 0-2 teams, the Giants have the best shot to turn this around.\u00a0 That\u2019s not saying much\u2026it makes them the skinniest kid a Fat Camp, but let\u2019s look at how they got there.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"We've<\/a>

We’ve seen a lot of Pouty Eli thus far.<\/p><\/div>\n

They have absolutely no running game.\u00a0 David Wilson has gone Full Tiki (circa 2003).\u00a0 This forces Eli to press, which in turn results in interceptions (seriously is there another team that throws more tipped ints\u00a0than the Giants?) which in turn results in Pouty\u00a0Eli.\u00a0 On the other side of the ball, their defense is equally atrocious (Perry Fewell, you\u2019re on notice).\u00a0 You only need to know this one stat to understand why the Giants are 0-2:\u00a0 in two games, they have fewer rushing yards (73) than points allowed (77).\u00a0 And, just for shits\u00a0and giggles, they also lead the league in turnovers (10).<\/p>\n

So why, then (other than because I\u2019m a homer<\/a>) do the G-Men have a shot?\u00a0 First, the Giants have history on their side.\u00a0 In 2007, when they won the Super Bowl (18-1 bitches), they started out 0-2.\u00a0 Their MO is to start out slow, catch fire, and then limp to the end of the season, hovering somewhere in the 9 to 10 win range.\u00a0 And 9 or 10 wins is all it will take to win the NFC East this year.\u00a0 And even in that 6 turnover opening game, the Giants still had the ball at midfield with 2:00 minutes left and a chance to win.\u00a0 Pouty Eli usually turns into Elite Eli in those situations.\u00a0 Despite all their problems, the Giants are a tipped pick away from being 1-1.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If Coughlin can solve David Wilson\u2019s fumbleitis, the offense will balance itself out right around the time the defense starts to click, and that, coupled with a mediocre NFC East, will make the Giants legitimate playoff contenders.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Minnesota Vikings, 5:4<\/b><\/p>\n

\"All<\/a>

All AP needs is a Top 20 QB<\/p><\/div>\n

Christian Ponder apologists have been blaming the organization for not surrounding him with enough talent to succeed (do you really need more than AP?).\u00a0 So, in the offseason the Vikings picked up Greg Jennings, and drafted\u00a0Cordarrelle\u00a0Patterson in the first round.\u00a0 Those two guys, plus AP and promising TE Kyle Rudolph, give Ponder plenty of weapons at his disposal.<\/p>\n

The verdict:\u00a0 Ponder\u2019s not good.\u00a0 He\u2019s 23rd<\/sup>\u00a0in Yards Passing (behind Brandon Weeden\u00a0and Geno Smith), 2nd<\/sup> in Interceptions, and 26th<\/sup> in Completion Percentage (58.6%).\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"Gratuitous<\/a>

Gratuitous shot of cheerleaders.<\/p><\/div>\n

However, consistent quarterback play is the only thing holding this team back.\u00a0 Their defense is good, and they lost at Chicago by one point on a last second TD.\u00a0 If Ponder can play just a little better (like Top 15-20), that will keep defenses honest and open up more lanes for AP to run wild.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Washington Redskins \u2013 6:1<\/b><\/p>\n

\"Does<\/a>

Does this knee brace make me look fat?<\/p><\/div>\n

What a difference a season makes.\u00a0 RGIII\u00a0has gone from franchise savior to backup, as people are calling for Kirk Cousins to start.\u00a0 RGIII (and the Skins) insist he didn\u2019t rush back from his knee surgery too soon, but he certainly looks like a different QB so far.\u00a0 Not only does he look a step slower when he gets outside of the pocket, but there\u2019s less \u201czip\u201d on the ball.\u00a0 Both problems are likely the result of a knee that\u2019s not 100%, as he\u2019s not able to run as fast or put as much pressure on his legs when throwing.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If he\u2019s not 100%, the Skins should shut him down until he is.\u00a0 A one-dimensional RGIII\u00a0is simply an average QB, plus he runs the risk of doing further damage to his knee (he still is the future of the franchise, btw).\u00a0 Start Cousins\u00a0and give RGIII\u00a0the time he needs to properly recover, and the Redskins should be alright.\u00a0 The problem is Shanahan is such an egomaniac that to put Cousins in will be to admit that he was wrong, and he\u2019s never wrong.<\/p>\n

Washington\u2019s saving grace, like the Giants, is their division.\u00a0 The NFC East was a solid 0-4 this past Sunday, and for the season a stellar 2-6.\u00a0 No one is going to run away with the division this year.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Tampa Bay Bucs, 12:1<\/b><\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>

No more smile fest in Tampa.<\/p><\/div>\n

Who had September 17 on their \u201cWhen Will Revis Complain Pool\u201d?\u00a0 We told you<\/a>\u00a0this was a bad move (seriously Tampa, please start reading our Teabags).\u00a0 Revis\u00a0will never, and can never, be happy.\u00a0 Even worse than being not happy, he\u2019s divisive.\u00a0 We\u2019re two weeks into the season and Schiano has already lost the locker room.\u00a0 The whole Josh Freeman voting scandal, coupled with him missing the team photo speaks volumes, so does the rumor that he wants out.<\/p>\n

Everyone knew Schiano\u00a0was a no-nonsense Coach.\u00a0 They wanted a change from the player-friendly Raheem Morris era.\u00a0 It\u2019s amazing how losing paints him as too strict, and winning paints him as bringing \u201cmuch needed focus.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

The sad thing is the Bucs\u00a0have good, young talent, and a much improved defense.\u00a0 However, as long as the QB\/Coach relationship is strained, this team will go nowhere.\u00a0 And good luck with the Revis holdout next year.\u00a0 Suckers.<\/p>\n

Pittsburgh Steelers, 20:1<\/b><\/p>\n

\"This<\/a>

This is Ben when he has time to throw.<\/p><\/div>\n

Historically the perennial powerhouse in the AFC North, the Steelers suddenly got bad overnight.\u00a0 Injuries on the O-line and a horrible running game is not a good combination.\u00a0 Also, there is no one that holds on to the ball longer than Big Ben\u2026probably why he leads the league in getting sacked.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Getting back Heath Miller will help, but it won\u2019t be enough to overcome the loss of Maurkice\u00a0Pouncey.\u00a0 Likewise, on defense, losing Larry Foote for the year is also fatal.<\/p>\n

Sorry Steelers fans, but your team is old, slow, and injured.\u00a0 Welcome to rebuilding mode.<\/p>\n

\"Jesus,<\/a>

Jesus, even the mascot’s dejected. Poor kitty.<\/p><\/div>\n

Carolina Panthers, 25:1<\/b><\/p>\n

For some reason, the Panthers, unlike the Vikings, have refused to provide a supporting cast for Cam Newton.\u00a0 Steve Smith is approaching 80, and the supporting WR cast consists of the following:\u00a0 Ted Ginn, Brandon LaFell, Domenik\u00a0Hixon, RJ Webb, Armanti\u00a0Edwards, and Kealoha\u00a0Pilares.\u00a0 These guys would have trouble starting in the CFL, and that\u2019s just one example of questionable roster decisions by this team.<\/p>\n

Why have 3 QBs, 2 FBs, and 4 TEs?\u00a0 And why is one of those QBs\u00a0Jimmy Clausen?\u00a0 That\u2019s a lot of roster space that could be used to bring in a legit WR2.\u00a0 Fortunately, Cam has enough talent to keep them relevant.\u00a0 Unfortunately, they face a pissed off Giants team this Sunday, and are looking at going 0-3, which will likely seal the deal for the Panthers.<\/p>\n

Cleveland Browns, 1,000,000,000:1<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Actual Browns helmut.<\/p><\/div>\n

Sorry, Cleveland.\u00a0 If Baltimore winning the Super Bowl and LeBron winning (another) NBA Championship wasn\u2019t enough to rip your hearts out, your Cleveland Browns will come in and finish the job.\u00a0 Good luck with Johnny Football next year.\u00a0 His maturity level definitely screams \u201cNFL Ready!\u201d<\/p>\n

Jacksonville Jaguars \u2013 Glue Factory<\/b><\/p>\n

\"Plenty<\/a>

Plenty of good seats still available.<\/p><\/div>\n

What\u2019s more pathetic than holding a Tim Tebow rally?\u00a0 Having 15 people show up for a Tim Tebow rally<\/a>.\u00a0 There\u2019s no chance in Hell (sorry, H-E-double hockey sticks \u2013for Tebow) the Jags are going to resemble anything close to competitive this year.\u00a0 Blaine Gabbert\u00a0being injured is actually a good thing.\u00a0 MJD going down is not.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Jacksonville\u2019s streak of 5 consecutive Top 10 first round picks is firmly in check.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Forget Tebow, not even JC himself can help this team.<\/p>\n

Enjoy your teabag.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In this week\u2019s Tuesday Teabag, The Machine analyzes the 8 teams that are 0-2 and tells you whether they have a shot (i.e. there\u2019s still hope) or not (fuhgettaboutit).\u00a0 I\u2019m sure you heard the stat, but since 1990 only 8% … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1056","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tuesday-teabag"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Bp3y-h2","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1056","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1056"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1056\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1070,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1056\/revisions\/1070"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1056"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1056"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bigredsportsmachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1056"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}