Tuesday Teabag, May 14, 2013 – Sergio Garcia

Sergio

Here we go again…

Apologies to Cliff Harris and Titus Young.  Their combined 6 arrests in the past 10 days is impressive, and normally would result in a teabag…but they’ll have to settle for an HMT this week.  Don’t worry fellas, The Machine’s pretty sure you’re not off our teabag radar just yet, although you might both be off the NFL’s radar. 

No, this week we focus on the gentlemen’s game and none other than Sergio Garcia.  When you look at the whole picture, Sergio’s got a pretty good thing going.  He’s a superstar on the PGA tour and European tour, makes a ton of cash, usually around the Top 10, and we’re guessing he doesn’t have trouble with the ladies.  And, off the course, he seems like a pretty cool guy.  For all those awesome things, there’s this little nugget:  he chokes under pressure and on the course he’s a spoiled, temperamental, diva who can’t get out of his own and will blame others for his shortcomings.  He clearly owns the title of “Best Player never to win a Major” and, from what happened on Sunday at Sawgrass, he ain’t giving that up anytime soon.

As I’m sure you’ve seen, Sergio was in the final pairing on Sunday, tied for the lead with Tiger Woods on the second to last hole at -13.  Tiger was on 18 and would finish his round at -13.  Things were looking good.  If Sergio could par the last two holes, he’d force a playoff with Woods…given the history between these two and what happened on Saturday (keep reading) pairing these two in a playoff would be epic.  If he could birdie 17 or 18, he’d win the tournament, and in the process go a long way towards shaking the choker label.  What happened next is unbelievable.

Tee shot on the par 3, 17…splash.  The crowd was stunned.  Not to worry, it’s a par 3.  If he can get up and down, take bogey 4, he could still birdie 18 and force a playoff.  However, Sergio went full Sergio.  Second tee shot…splash, into the water again.  An eerie silence fell over the crowd, nobody could believe what they were witnessing.  Sergio finally got his third tee shot on the green, then two putt for a 7, dropping him all the way back to -9, and ensuring another defeat on the big stage.

To make matters worse, he still had the 18th hole to play.  Could there be a bigger walk of shame?  His tee shot on 18?  Dead hook into the water…Sergio ended up with a double bogey 6. 

Consider this:  for the first 70 holes of the tournament, Sergio was -13.  For the last two, +6.  Tiger Woods would go on to win the tournament, his fourth of the year already, firmly re-establishing himself as golf’s greatest.  And this is where the story gets interesting.

In Saturday’s round, Tiger and Sergio were paired together.  Two superstars that obviously would draw the biggest crowd.  They also don’t like each other, a feud going back to the early 2000’s.  On the second hole, as Sergio was about to take his approach shot, commotion came from the crowd on the other side of the fairway as he was in the middle of his backswing.  He shanked the shot, bogeyed the hole, and immediately looked to his left to where Tiger was.  Tiger had pulled out his club [insert sex scandal joke here] which elicited a (roar if you’re Sergio, slight kerfuffle if you’re Tiger) from the crowd.  Seriously?  You guys cheer when he pulls out a 3 wood?  How pathetic are golf crowds?  Anyway, Tiger claims the marshal told him Sergio had already hit…we now know that to be false because the marshal said he never talked to Tiger.  So, either (a) Tiger assumed he had hit, (b) didn’t think about it because he could care less about Sergio, or (c) intentionally pulled out his club at the exact moment Sergio started his backswing, knowing that doing so would elicit a roar/slight kerfuffle from the crowd.  A and b seems the most plausible.

Either way, as soon as that happened, The Machine knew there was no way Sergio would win.  If you listened to his comments after the third round, whining about how Tiger ruined his round, you knew there was no chance he’d pull it together on Sunday.  Tiger had gotten into his head.  The collapse was inevitable.

And that’s the enigma of Sergio.  Wildly talented, successful, and popular, he’s won his share of tournaments, and is highly regarded as a great player.  This year, he’s played in 8 events, earned an impressive $1.3 million, but won none of them.  And that sums up Sergio’s career perfectly.  He’ll play well enough to finish in the Top 10, and may sneak out a win here or there.  However, when it’s crunch time at a big tournament, forget about it…The Machine and its 20+ handicap may as well be playing the final round.  He’s got the biggest case of the yips on the tour. 

He’s 33 now…no longer the carefree kid that burst on the tour stage a dozen plus years ago.  While there’s still time left to win a major (Jack won one at 46) he’s going to have to find some way to not go mental on Sunday.  Until that happens, he’s likely never to win a big one.  But he will forever have the distinction of the first golfer ever to win a teabag.

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