If The Machine’s ticket to Hell hasn’t already been punched, it sure is now. How can you possibly Teabag Tim Tebow, you ask? His character is beyond repute, his work ethic unquestionable, and his passion for life is infectious. And he’s a huge fan of J.C.
While all those things may be true, ironically, Tim has yet to see the light. For if he had, he would know this: he’s not an NFL quarterback. He’s not even a CFL, IFL, or Arena League quarterback. Perhaps Arena League 2 (if that’s still around). Perhaps.
As an acknowledgment of this fact, Tebow was cut by the Jets on Monday. The pathetic, offensively inept, New York Jets. The Jets had one of the worst offenses in the league last year, and he still wasn’t able to get a start, being passed over by Greg McElroy after Sanchez was benched (butfumble 2012 new word of the year, btw). The only thing worse than the Jet’s offense last season is their front office management skills (Sanchez is getting $8.25 million guaranteed this year. Enough said). Tebow also went unclaimed on waivers…meaning none of the 31 other NFL teams thought he was worthy.
Tebow’s departure from New York is in sharp contrast to his arrival: he came in riding a tidal wave of support and a cult-like following. ESPN devoted every episode of Sportscenter chronicling his every move. They set up permanent residency at Jets Training Camp. The New York media was instantly smitten/disgusted with his Up with People demeanor. He was the most popular backup quarterback ever. Rex Ryan boasted that Tebow would be multiple ways, that he’d be the wildcat quarterback of wildcat quarterbacks (can we all agree now that the wildcat is dead?). His final stats in New York: 6 of 8 for 39 yards, and 32 rushes for 102 yards. No tds. Solid in punt protecting.
Now, not all of that is his fault. He wasn’t utilized as much as people expected…certainly not as much as the Jets hyped he would be used. But he shares the blame in getting cut. The Jets tried to trade Tebow and there were some interested teams. The catch: they were interested in him playing tight end, not quarterback. Tight end seems like a natural position for Tebow. He’s big, athletic, and good on his feet…the modern day attributes of successful tight ends. So why wasn’t he traded? He refused to switch positions, insisting that he’s a quarterback.
What Tebow needs is a come to Jesus moment. I’m sure J.C. is a fan of the NFL (who isn’t); he probably rocked a #15 Jets jersey on game days last year. But even he knows what we all know: Tebow’s not an NFL quarterback, or rather, he’s not a good (or even mediocre) NFL quarterback. The main problem is that he can’t throw the ball. Do we even need to go any further? Forget the one pass he made in the playoffs in Denver, or that he “led” the Broncos to the playoffs in 2011…we all know that was due, in very large part, to Denver’s defense and running game.
That he won’t agree to change positions is troubling. Either he (a) suffers from the worst case of lack of self-awareness of all-time; or (b) Merril Hoge is right; he’s as phony as a three dollar bill. For all the talk of him being this selfless leader, a man who puts the glory of the team ahead of personal gain…it’s all bs. The Machine can’t possibly believe (a) is right, so it must be (b). His steadfast refusal to acknowledge the truth–that even he has shortcomings–cuts against his humble image and casts him as a stubborn, diva athlete who thinks he knows more than everyone. He may be a wonderful athlete and a wonderful person, but that doesn’t free him from honest assessment of his game. And all honest assessments agree that he’s not an NFL quarterback.
Where will he end up? Who knows. His ego and pride are too big to go to the CFL or Arena League and compete for a quarterback position (which he’d likely lose). He’ll probably end up alongside fellow bible-beater Kurt Warner on his USA TV show. He’ll also likely give speeches at various churches throughout the country, extolling the virtues of perseverance, determination, and hard work; ironic because, if he really listened to what he preaches, he’d be on an NFL roster right now as a tight end. Look for a Tim Tebow/Kirk Cameron sermon coming to a mega-church near you.
Bottom line: He may be pro-life, but he’s not pro-football. Enjoy your teabag.